mind off things

We’re back!!

[Hey friends! I’m really sorry for taking such a long unexpected hiatus, there was just a lot of stuff going on, like, personal stuff haha ^^;; But I quickly remembered this blog and how what started out as a silly hobby of mine actually was an escape of sorts to get my mind off of things and in the past it really helped keep my head above water which is why I loved it so much. I also saw that we reached over 300 followers??? Whoa???  In a way I feel kind of sad knowing people are following what looks to be an inactive blog. Uhm so tl;dr: I don’t really plan on abandoning yet, this blog and Rui means a lot to me which brings me to the next point. 

With that said I plan on rebooting this blog and starting fresh! I kind of have a set story in mind for my Rui and I thought it’d be fun to make this blog more catered to that I guess? (There’ll be a chance to see her unit hehe) So that said I have to do an inbox clean out, unfortunately, I know I have a bunch of unanswered asks and I feel awful for deleting them, but once this blog has been rebooted please feel free to ask again! ;;v;; I know this might be a bit to read, but I really appreciate the support for this lil blog and look forward to interacting more with you guys! It might take a bit to fully reboot, but thank you so much nonetheless <3]

“Disappearing” For a Bit

Hey everyone. In the next few days, weeks, I don’t know, you might not be seeing that much of me. Every few years I go through a period where I cannot get through a single task without thinking about the fact that I’m doing something. I cannot think without thinking about the fact that I’m thinking. It makes life feel blase and droning on and basically is just months of 24/7 existential crises. In these periods, things I like can’t take my mind off of things for more than a few minutes.

This go round is turning out to be pretty rough.It’s manifesting itself in making me “think” all the time about whether I truly love the Librarians, whether any of my fangirl, nerdy stuff is actually making me happy. It’s been causing some major breakdowns and if I’m not careful it could make me lose The Librarians entirely at this point, and thats something I can’t begin to fathom dealing with(part of all the breakdowns this month). So, in order to preserve my love and passion for The Librarians, I need to stay away from it for a while.

I made the Librarians my everything my freshman year of college. Everything and anything I did was related to it. Any song I listened to, TV show I watched, meal I ate, store I visited, I was relating it back to The Librarians. Like I could literally not drink a freaking milkshake without wondering what would happen if one of my Librarians OTPs was sharing a milkshake, and then contemplating writing a fic about said milkshake. And while that was all well and good and great even, and is certainly the one thing that got me through freshman year, I didn’t think about the fact that it couldn’t stay that way forever, that it wouldn’t be healthy to let it be that way forever. So now, that I’m thinking about it 24/7 and not happy doing such, it’s making me feel like I don’t love the show. I need to not write my fics or write it or anything for a little while so that I can adjust into liking and doing other things again. And once that’s done I can return to my Librarians love.

So I might not be on here posting about The Librarians for a while, but that’s only so that I can be once season 4 starts up and there’s tons to be excited about. Because if this pattern continues, I cannot see myself being truly excited and giddy when season 4 rolls around, cant see myself showing it to my future kids and students…and all those things depress me majorly. So I need to get back on track.

So yes. I’m stepping back from The Librarians…in order to love The Librarians again. This is all scary for me, because I’m afraid if I let it go, I will lose it completely. But I’m a woman of faith, and not long ago I asked God for a sign that it would all be okay and that I’d love The Librarians again. Sure enough, he sent multiple, not the least of which was a store I walked past playing Lost Boy

Good news is all this manic unhealthy obsession has made me become WAY ahead in the writing of my Loom fic, so I’ll still be posting the chapters of that every Thursday and Sunday.

I love you guys, thank you for your support in this trying time, and ask you for your thoughts and prayers that I can return to truly loving the show that I have loved more than any other before. I love you my LITs. I’ll see you when I see you, and stay magical, always and forever.

((Also if anyone else has been through a period like this with the show or any show and has had it turn out fine and is willing to tell me about it in a private message that would be much appreciated. A big comfort for me in healing processes has always been hearing that others were okay, and knowing that being okay is possible))

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If you need something to distract you from real life and are tired of waiting for April the giraffe’s calf to arrive, this is a live feed of 2 mama kitties up in British Columbia, Canada who are due to give birth any moment now. They were living in a feral colony but have been moved to a safe space, and both of them will be spayed and adopted into forever homes after they have their litters.

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nine in the afternoon // panic! at the disco