milso support

Dos & Donts in overcoming the distance in a long-term long distance relationship:

These may range from corny to fairly obvious and anywhere in between, but this is gained from personal life experience and lessons learned!
My SO is currently stationed in NC and usually has a pretty regular work schedule, so these tips will be more reflective of that type of situation. 

  • Do actually SEE each other as often as possible. (FaceTime, Skype, etc)  
    This seems obvious, but in the days & weeks that I’m really busy with work and he’s busy and our schedules don’t work for this, things just seem to sometimes feel a little more tense or hard to handle. When you can hear your SO’s tone of voice, see their facial expressions, etc it just makes communicating so much easier and better. Recently, we decided on days that we can’t FaceTime, we send each other at least 1 picture. :) It does actually make a world of difference! 
  • Do set time aside that belongs to you. 
    Whatever works for your schedule… it could be one hour a night, 2 weeknights that are “blocked off” - whatever amount of time you both have and want to dedicate. This just helps to ensure that you’re making your relationship a priority and that you or your SO don’t feel lost in the shuffle. 
  • Do send fun, silly and sweet/romantic text messages to keep your SO smiling. I send Bryan funny pictures I find on Tumblr or Pinterest, and also at least once a day something sweet to remind him how much he is absolutely loved and adored. :) We all have really hard days and need to feel the support of our SOs. 
  • Do ask for what you need. In the beginning I was sometimes afraid to tell him what I needed from him because I didn’t want to come off as clingy or needy. When I did finally start doing this, he never thought my requests or needs were clingy at all. When your communication is so dependent on texts, calls and FaceTime or Skype, you have to be clear on what it is that you need to feel fulfilled in your relationship. Example: neither one of us really like talking on the phone, in fact we both pretty much hate it, but a while after we had been dating, we had gotten into a habit of texting more than talking, and I realized that I really needed to hear his voice more often to feel more connected. He agreed and that really improved our communication. 
  • Do share something. Watch a TV show “together”, read a book “together” or have a movie night “together”. This will give you something to talk about together and to give the sense that you’re on a little date or and creates a topic of conversation to share. 

  • Don’t blow off plans. When you already have distance between you, it hurts to have a Skype date set and then make other plans. Of course, things come up and schedules change…but try to hold to some of the dates and times you have set for dates. You’re not the only one who looks forward to those calls!! ;) 
  • Don’t try to have a serious conversation or sort a serious argument/issue out over text. I know this seems so obvious, but I’ve really been working on not needing to have the conversation right this second if something serious comes up. When we can actually hear each other’s tone and inflection, things usually don’t get to the point of anger or misunderstanding that they do via text. When these things come up, I just tell him I’d rather wait until we can talk so that we don’t read something into a text message that isn’t there, etc. 
  • Don’t leave them out of decision making because they’re not around. Of course this counts for the big decisions, but even if I’m doing small or silly things like picking stuff out for my apartment or trying to choose a movie to watch, I sometimes ask Bryan’s opinion. It makes him happy to feel included and to feel like he knows smaller things going on in my life. Only knowing or talking about the big things can sometimes make you feel that distance even more. I know you get used to handling everything on your own because they’re not around, but this could really help them to feel like they’re more present in your life.

Sorry this turned out to be much longer than I expected! Adjusting to a long distance relationship is definitely a process of trial and error, and ultimately figuring out what works best for YOU and YOUR SO. 


Discussion Topic: How do you and your SO make the best of a long distance relationship? What are cute “dates” you have or ways that you stay emotionally connected? 

Today my baby leaves for the Army and saying goodbye to him was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Goodbye may seem forever. Farewell is like the end, but in my heart is the memory and there you will always be.Goodbyes are not forever. Goodbyes are not the end. They simply mean I’ll miss you until we meet again. I love you so much baby and I know you’re going far but you’re always close in my heart. I love you and be safe.

What to do while your military SO is away:
-join a club sport
-write (to your SO or just for yourself!)
-go out with friends
-rearrange your room
-take up photography
**just make sure you’re doing something, don’t sit and wait for him/her. go out, keep yourself busy & the waiting won’t seem too much like forever.
Here I am hoping you and you SO reunite real soon. ❤️