Articles about Millennials be like

Millennials, a term for those those born approximately between 1982 and to 2004, currently include those between 34 and 12 years old.

To get an idea of how they operate in the working world, we exclusively interviewed rich white people between 18 to 22 who haven’t actually started working yet, are fully dependent on their parents, and don’t know shit about shit. We feel this accurately captures the opinions and behavior of every single solitary person in this demographic, including, say, a 34 year old queer black woman who has a family and has been working since she was 15.


When I was a kid, the most thrilling thing that could happen to me was getting permission to have a friend stay the night. These sleepovers were so much fun that I was sure when I grew up I would live in a giant house with all of my friends forever. (I never wondered who would do the dishes.)

Nearly everyone I know had similar daydreams, but this is something we are supposed to grow out of, and replace with daydreams about living with a romantic partner.

This isn’t entirely going as planned for our society. It seems like every few weeks an article is circulated that inspires a giant online hand-wringing about millennials resisting committed romantic relationships, or Gen Xers continuing to have roommates. (“The millennial generation lacks the ability to love!” “Meet the people flatsharing in their 40s!”)

We’ve collectively decided that people who live with their friends have failed terribly, people who live with a partner have achieved incredible domestic success, and people who live alone or don’t centre their lives around romance are possibly just broken.

We are all encouraged to work hard to have stable lives. But at the same time, we’re encouraged to anchor our lives around the relationship that is the least stable.

It is uncomfortable to think of romantic love in those terms, but it’s not inaccurate.

—  Audra Williams, from this National Post article “Why living with your friends doesn’t make you a bad adult”. Really interesting and valid as an observation of the state of our society nowadays and the fact that focus on marriage as ‘success’ is totally ideological, but it also resonated with me as a defense of asexuality; and ace, aro issues. Romance does not have to rule your life.
Why are the baby boomers desperate to make millennials hate ourselves? | Eleanor Robertson
New statistics from the Pew research centre show the youngest workers have totally internalised the messaging of the luckiest generation in human history
By Eleanor Robertson

“With regional variations, millennials have absorbed our parents’ world view. We consider these expectations reasonable, and we blame ourselves for not living up to them.

Of course, it’s all a trick. The global conditions that enabled a middle-class existence are evaporating, and are being replaced by an economic system whose function is the transfer of wealth to the lucky few.”


“…the point of this ideology is to discipline young people’s behaviour through weaponised self-loathing. Instead of demanding better, we engage in futile competition over crumbs. Instead of questioning why life often feels meaningless, why we feel so alienated and inadequate, we turn these beliefs inward. Instead of using this shared experience to build solidarity with each other, we feel shame.

If all this is our own fault, what’s the point?”

  • Middle aged white male's impersonation of a millennial:OMG lyke i totes didnt mean to crash the car my rich mummy bought me but i totes had to text my bff about her latest facebook selfie LOL whatevs dude
  • Actual millennial:I aspire to be able to pay off my second hand car sometime next year, but in this turbulent economical state, my three minimum wage jobs barely pay my medical insurance. I've nearly exhausted my phone's data while researching scholarships that may assist me, but I did take a moment to compliment my good friend's latest Instagram photo because she has worryingly low self confidence and occasionally needs affirmation of her worth, like most humans.

What those stories neglected to mention was that this professor was in the middle of a mid-semester meltdown. Nobody can fail until after finals, when they’re safe at home and away from those mean ol’ professors. They also left out the part where he basically said “You’ve failed!” as a sort of middle finger to everyone around him. After being denied the opportunity to teach only the best students at the school, the prof started mentally choreographing an “I Quit!” tap number (we assume) and straight-up got the fuck out of Dodge.

The professor sent an email to administrators letting them know the demonic students were “your problem now.” But the real problem they had was already solved; by the time he’d let loose on his class, he’d left his position. University officials shrugged off their former colleague’s vanishing. They reiterated that no student had in fact failed, because that’s not even possible at that stage in the semester. The students were left utterly confused by their collective grade, which either vindicates or condemns the nutty professor’s attempted decision.

6 Shady Ways The Media Makes Millenials Look Like Idiots

In Marketing Talking about Millenials
  • Prof:They spend less than boomers on food
  • Me:Because we're poor
  • Prof:They prefer public transit over owning a car
  • Me:Because we're poor
  • Prof:Majority rent instead of owning their own home
  • Me:Pooooooooorrr
  • Prof:They travel less and buy in bulk
  • Me:POOR
  • Prof:54% are single and have no plans to start a family
  • Prof:So as you can see there are significant differences on what they are willing to spend their money on

Sanders is speaking some real talk right now. We CANNOT rely on Bernie of whoever to give us the things we want. If you want free education go to the booths and VOTE. Vote for the president, vote for representative and senators. Call your congressman and demand that they support the issues you are interested in. We have to get involved!! Politicians can only hold us hostage as long as we allow them too.
Gloria Steinem Says Young Women Are Into Bernie Because Of Boys
Oh Gloria, No No No No No!

Steinem tried to walk it back (sort of), but the damage was done. She took the myriad reasons young women might support Sanders over Clinton and reduced them, essentially, to boy-craziness. If older feminists want the younger generation to turn to Hillary, it might help not to condescend to them about their political motivations.

I hate baby boomers so much. Like, how do you destroy our country and then blame a generation that barely has had time to vote, work in office, protest, make a difference. Like they have so much to say about how self-centered our generation is, and how disconnected we are from reality, yet it was their generation that allowed banks to lend money to people who could not afford their houses. It was their generation that decided to balloon our defense budget for no good reason to the point that we couldn’t afford the deficit. It was baby boom leaders that have completely polarized the government to the point that 90% of the Republican Party leadership would rather hold the government hostage than actually compromise on a fucking issue. Like how do ya’ll do all that and still have the nerve to give me side eye for taking a fucking selfie. 

Lets talk about how my generations the problem when this baby boomer man shoved his way past the other students snapping “get out of the way, move it now!” to people sitting at the table. Lets talk about how, without an excuse me, he shoved some guy my age into the table by the seat he was sitting on so he could get through. 

Lets talk about how everyone in my generation asked if the chair next to me was in use because the spot on the table in front of it has art stuff and a cell phone. Lets talk about how when I said yes they smiled and walked away.

Lets talk about how this old ass man grabbed the chair, raised it over his head, almost hit the guy sitting on the other side, and walked away. Lets talk about how despite saying “EXCUSE ME” and “HEY, THAT’S SOMEONES CHAIR” he walked away grumbling under his breath. Lets talk about how when I confronted him on it being in use and the user was just in the bathroom this old man tells me to fuck off.

Lets talk about how the guy across from me, you know, in my generation scoffs and offers his chair to the girl, my girlfriend, to her since he’ll be going to class in ten minutes anyway. Lets talk about how he was ready to argue with this old man for my girlfriends chair. 

Yes. Lets talk about how entitled and rude my generation is as you take even the simplest things from us.