In defense of old school Warhammer 40,000 battle reports
Ten years ago you could go on Warseer, Librarium Online, Dakkadakka or several other forums and find a groaning banquet table of written battle reports. Now, you find bupkes. It’s all about the video battle report
It’s all about the 90-minute long video battle report shot with a smartphone. there’s a lens flare and probably machine gun noises and then two headless dad bods spend an hour and a half pushing around miniatures. sometimes they’ll try to liven it up with banter on the level of a Microsoft E3 presentation. an hour and a half of this. an hour and a half.
You know what’s great about written battle reports? they don’t take most of your free evening to experience! they’re three minute commitments and you get the same vicarious rush. if you’re REALLY lucky the batrep writer will try their hand at a narrative, either before and after the match or woven into the play-by-play. and like
yes. give me the people crafting kludgey narratives for their space marines without a drop of irony. give it to me. let me read about their sparkledogs clutching bolters and shouting orders. give me a thousand earnest, terrible, borderline fanfic battle reports buttressed with amateur photography! because 1) it’s a positive expression of fandom and 2) even the worst, horseploppiest written battle report is more respectful of my free time than 99 percent of video battle reports.
(There is an exception: the only truly good video battle report, the Frontline Gaming guys protesting 6th Edition Cron Air while doing the gallon milk jug challenge)