Confession #1079: He’s been gone for boot camp for over a month now and everyone thinks I’m doing ok. But I’m not. I cry myself to sleep almost every night. And I’m pissed cause this is only basic. How will I handle deployments. Im scared.
The Five Biggest Difficulties of Deployment and How To Deal With Them.
1. The Time Difference: it can be killer. There are times when you either sacrifice sleep and get to talk to him, or you sacrifice talking. Good rule of thumb? If you have school or work early, maintain your priorities. Love understands.
2. Jealousy: On both sides. Whether he is deployed to Afghanistan and a particular girl commented on his Facebook or he is in Japan and going to bars, jealousy can creep up on you. Remind yourself of all the promises you’ve made each other. Let it go. Also be mindful of his mindset- posting photos of you and guy friends is a no-no.
3. Loneliness: Remind yourself why you are going through this deployment. Push yourself to call a friend or family member that makes you feel good. Just not in the mood? Try a hot bath, your fav movie, and a rockin’ self pedicure. Taking care of yourself can work wonders.
4. The Rut: Everyone hits it. Remember to see friends, work out, maintain obligations and responsibilities, stay loyal, and take care of yourself. Many women that successfully get through deployments pick up a hobby or skill while he is gone. Try learning a new language, geocaching, learning an instrument, or taking an art or kick boxing class. You need to continue to love and grow when he is gone.
5. Not Knowing What To Talk About: This may sound odd to some of you, but this one is very important. We all hit a point when we just don’t know what to say anymore. “It sounds monotonous”, “he probably doesn’t care what I ate for breakfast”, “I don’t want him to feel bad about not being here,” blah blah blah. Say these things anyways. Write to him, even if it is an email, while he is offline. Ramble. Letting him know that you think about him even when you aren’t talking and keeping him in the loop with your life and thoughts will make him feel included.
Keep your head up.
Keep your heart strong.
ALMOST Balled my eyes out today. Someone saw the ring he gave me and asked me about it. I told him it was a promise ring from my soldier. Lots of questions were asked and each one made it harder to hold back the tears. Don’t ask me if i miss him, cause that just feels like an understatement. Of course I miss him immensely. You don’t know how I do it? Its this thing called love, distance doesn’t matter with that. You know just how I feel? I gaurentee you don’t unless your man is in the army as well. Am I excited he is coming home? Words can’t describe how excited and happy I am. <3
I don’t care what anyone thinks of me. Sure it’d be nice if people had a little more faith in me, but honestly everyone that goes behind my back saying I can’t do this cant just go die. I can do this. It is far from easy and its far harder than ANYTHING you have ever done in your entire life, but I CAN be in a military relationship. I know I am not an independent person and that is exactly why you think this isn’t possible for me. But you know what? Being a military SO is like being in a sorority, I have so many sisters that support me and are there for me 24/7. And that’s hell of alot more than I can say for you. Girls that I’ve cyberly known for 5 minutes known more of how I feel and are there more me more than you do/are after years of being best friends. Because they actually care and take the time to listen to my situation. I need you now more than ever, because with him being gone, I am completely alone in this world. But you and your doubts can just leave me the hell alone because I’d rather cry myself to sleep listening to Taylor Swift than listen to another smartass remark about how I won’t last more than a couple of months with him deployed. I love him.