mildly successful

i like you (this is a problem)

“Here’s the thing-” Lily said, marching into the pub and pulling out a stool.


“We’re closed.” James interrupted without looking up from wiping down the bar.

“I want a dog.” Lily barrelled on without hearing him. “But my landlord doesn’t allow pets so I was wondering-“

“I’m not getting a fucking dog for you.” James said firmly.

Lily blinked at him. “I was going to ask if you thought it was morally wrong to raise it in my air-vent.” There was a silence. James was caught between hoping she wasn’t serious and knowing that she was. “Your idea seems better.” Lily admitted.

“Really. Talk me through that, is it because there is no animal abuse involved?”

“I was thinking more along the lines of then you’d have to clean up the poo, but the no animal abuse is also good.”


“Y’know” Sirius was lying on top of the bar, waving around a beer and staring at the ceiling. Nobody looked up. “I always thought once we owned a bar we would spend a solid 60% percent of our time drunk, and that hasn’t happened.” 

Remus, still wiping down tables, said “I shudder to think what you’d be like on your own.”

“Since we bought the bar we spend more time drunk than we used to?” Peter consoled, baffled.

Sirius sat up. “I would say we spent about 15% percent of our time drunk before the bar, and after the bar we spend about 25%. That is an increase of only ten percent.”

“Where are you pulling these numbers from?” Lily asked while holding the ladder for James, who was avoiding the dishwasher by pretending to fix the squeaky window.

“On top of being an excellent barman I double as a statistician.”

“You are neither of those things.” Remus said. Sirius glared.

“Fuck you Moony. At school you were always saying I didn’t do enough math, and here I am, doing math, and you’re abusing me.”

Remus threw a dishtowel at him and gestured to the kitchen. “Go unstack the dishwasher.”

“Fantastic.” Sirius said, throwing his hands in the air. “This is what I get for my brief foray into math. Insulted and unloading dishes.” He jumped off the bar and mockingly gave Remus’ back the finger. James laughed.


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From the Wreckage

summary: You and Bucky have been dating for a couple of years now. Lately, he has become extremely distant. You worry that the end of your relationship is in sight. - requested by anon. (want to make a request?)

words: 2,912

contains: angst? but it turns fluffy!  


MASTER LIST


Originally posted by rohgers

I was losing him, and I didn’t know why, or how to stop it.

 I met Bucky about six months after he was accused of the bombings in Vienna. He had been all over the news – people debating whether or not the Winter Soldier was a criminal. People demanded he and Captain America be charged with treason, terrorism, basically anything they could think of that had even the slimmest chance of sticking. It was a debate that took over news channels for months and months. People wanted so-called justice, but no one could find Captain Rogers or his team.

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Hi there....

So recent events have made me realize how much I have distanced myself from, well, everyone in my life including my Klaroline fandom.

I just wanted to take the time out to say thank you to you all for being my friends because some of you have been friends to me even when the people in my real life felt too far away to reach.

So much of the last few years have been about surviving my mental health, not a lot of you that I actually started writing Klaroline multi-fics to keep myself from actually killing myself.

Klaus saved my life for being as damaged as he was and finding his light through Caroline, in Caroline and that is only one of the reasons I am thankful for TVD. The other reasons are each and every one of you.

Thank you for being my light, my friends, and for being these amazingly strong women I can look up to from every walk of life. You all hold a very special place in my heart.

Oh, and Klaroline is ENDGAME.


gooddame’s Follow Forever (In no particular order):

@marvelouskatie, @alyonsden, @shakespeariannerd, @liarfaker-blog, @caritobear, @eternityofklaroline, @jomosfamilyjewels, @klaroline-fantasies, @sophisticatedfangirling, @his-insane-girlfriend, @grandshoes-and-sanddad,

  @hotbloodedhunter, @busterl0ve, @jomoporn, @kickassfu, @thecunningcock, @maevelin, @accioklaus, @wanderlust-in-nyc, @hellocutepanda, @idiot–wind—wind, @berrywoman, @kcmt1, @jomo-sweetheart,

@cygnetofthesea, @unwillingsuspensionofdisbelief, @hurrican3lov3, @hummingbirds-and-champagne, @missielynne, @fightsweet, @thicksexxualtension, @klarolineepiclove, @tardis-23, @hellzz-on-earth,

@hybridlicious, @a-little-blonde-distraction, @klarolinewarrior, @wavesofjoyy, @justanotherfiveminutes, @thedenimofrose, @ferrylis, @willowolven, @klaroline-overdose, @aphrodihe, @kmoftherose, @anastasiadreams,

@daysleepingnightscheming, @livingdeadblondequeen, @tonkola, @willowaus, @dustandrubies, @cupcakemolotov, @stylish-fan, @consortyana, @she-walked-away, @lclrgsl, @shipatfirstsight,

@kcendgame, @des452, @thenurseholliday, @makingmyownhappyending, @goldcaught, @lalainajanes, @hothybridvampireship, @lynyrdwrites, @thetourguidebarbie, @snowyarbo, @redcoatblonde, @cbk1000,

@survivorjace, @austennerdita2533, @accidental-rambler, @klarolineforevermine, @joey-prue, @ssklaroline, @that-wandering-belle, @mortuarybeautyschool, @eriberry89, @klarolinestan, @kathern,

@lovetheklaroline, @carolineforbesisawesome, @elizamorley, @kjsama, @queencarolinemikaelson, @xxafterthestormxx, @klaraholic, @honestgrins, @lilbreck, @klarolinedrabbles, @klarolineshippersclub, @captndevil,

@royalcaliber, @themikaelsoncupcake, @radientwings, @supremeuppityone, @littlebirdofthenorth, @strongbeautifulfulloflight, @sneakercladbrunette, @loveyou914, @my-light-into-the-darkness, @kcismyreligion,

@americanwordsmith, @wintersquares, @jonsnowbitch, @megansarah11, @realynn8, @hellsbellschime, @the-doctor-in-a-deerstalker, @sunshinegold, @jeweljessicajones, @arustykiss, @paigemarie007, @delightfullysunny,

@dontbeallupinmyfriesdawg, @fanfantasticworld, @ckhybrid, @niklausxcaroline, @tardis-23, @candicemorgan, @itsnotacrimetoloveyou, @klarolinessecondbreakfast, @purestheartslove, @howeverlongs, @c-sand,

@misssophiachase, @klarolinekolvina, @khaleesiofthewolves, @elleinaustin, @onlyklarolinefeels, @blackefaeriequeene, @thedisdainfullysilentvisitor, @klaro-addict, @piratesails, @geeky-greek, @sakuraraestar, @katieb373,

@garglyswoof, @skyangel22, @candycolamorgan, @eils-emacsweeny, @3tinkgemini, @smilinginfinitely, @0oharleyquinno0, @niklausmikaelsn, @arrenemris, @ashleigh-jewitt-xx, @highgaarden, @leeloships, @these-dreams-go-on

 Thank you so much for putting up with my mildly successful blogging and on occasion writing skills. Also to my sister who made me get this thing in the first place.

Ready or Not [James March x Reader]

Request: “Can you please do an imagine where you are married to James and you see a girl flirting with him so you get jealous and kill her. Thanks love 😊”

Warnings: RATED R, SPOILERS, Murder, mentions of rape, prostitution, jealous!reader, torture, possibly more

Word Count: 1168

A/N: So I got bored and figured out how to make gifs & watermark them! I seriously need a holy water bath after this one… Especially that rape/James being ??? I originally had this super fucked idea but figured it was way too dark for LG.

The girl laughs dramatically, throwing her arm onto his. He smiles and looks over at you, some emotion wild in his eyes.

Muttering under your breath, you wave Liz down. “I don’t care what you give me, just make it strong.” You grimace, shrugging in the direction of James and the redhead. Liz smiles sadly.

“You’ve been with James for, what… A hundred years?” She laughs. “He’d never do that to you.”

“Ninety-one.” You say quietly. “We’ve been married for ninety-one years. Known each other for… ninety-five. We met when women could vote, some time in the ‘20′s.” Liz hands you a glass, leaning over on the bar. It was obvious she wanted to hear more. “He was in the process of planning this hotel. I helped him with everything he found mundane, or everything that didn’t involve murder or sex.” 

“You designed all of this?” She says, slightly shocked. You nod as you take a sip of whatever drink she handed you, seeing her look around.

“It took two years to plan and build. By that time, he had mastered killing, and started expressing an interest in me doing so. And you know, I never had an issue with whatever disgusting things he did to them after their demise. I turned the other cheek, pretended like it wasn’t happening.” 

The memories came back to you at once, a mixture of happiness and hatred filling you, plus whatever the alcohol added. One memory stood prominent, though. The first time you found out exactly what James had done to the woman, who you later found out was Margarita Michael, a local prostitute who often used the hotel for her work. It disgusted you, and your husband found out quickly.

After luring her to one of his rooms, he had tied her to the bed, put a gag in her mouth, and fucked her. As he thrust into her, the blade of his knife slit across her throat, lightly. Enough to make her bleed, but not enough to kill her. He kept pumping in and out of her panicked body, his knife slashing her over, and over, and over, until there was simply nothing left but a bloody mess. 

When asked to justify his actions, he told you that it was incomparable. The feeling of her hot cunt around his cock, her hips rocking up and down, and the way she twitched on his length with every stroke of the blade on her torso. You promptly slapped your husband, disgust and envy rushing through you. 

He stayed still, letting you scream and shout at him, which was a rare thing. James knew it was wrong, he knew that he should run upstairs and fuck his very much alive wife… What he didn’t know, though, was how to react, what to say, whether to defend himself or not. He just didn’t know what to do. James stopped after you got angry, though. It became even rarer than him letting you become the dominant one in the relationship. He absolutely hated seeing you upset, even more so when he caused it. 

Back to the present. Liz was engrossed in your stories about the roaring twenties, the depression, the second world war, and the other decades. You tried to leave out as much about your husband and his hobbies, but they never left your mind. Especially on this night, because of the fiery redhead who was sitting with your James.

As the night continued, your mind continued to cook up schemes on what you’d do to the woman. Your first thought were the walls- you’d wall her up like James did to the Valentino couple. Then your mind wandered off to the acid pit, watching her flesh sizzle off of her bones while she screams. Next came the idea of just tossing her down one of the chutes alive, listening to her as she came to and realized what was going on around her until she eventually starved. Finally, you just wanted her dead, and it didn’t much matter how creative you got.

First, you’d somehow get her to a room. Maybe you’d pile on the charm, seduce her. That was really the only good option you could think of in the few minutes. Then, you’d knock her out. Hit her over the head with a lamp, punch her in the throat… That’d be a bit rough though, because it could probably kill her. You wanted to play with her a bit first. Last was the kill. You’d force James from his hidey-hole and make him come into the room. He’d watch you torture this woman and he’d enjoy it (which would be easy for him, he loved watching you paint the walls with blood).

The plan was mildly successful, and the girl, Haley, willingly came up to the room and let you tie her up, nude. You felt a tiny bit of remorse, but the excitement of what was soon to happen made it better. Tightening her restraints, you left the room.

“James!” You shouted, dancing through a hallway of the Cortez. “Jamesie! Lovely husband?!” 

“Dearest?” You hear the wonderful transatlantic accent at the end of the hall. He smirks, walking what felt painstakingly slowly to you. “What’s wrong?”

“I have a surprise for you.” Grinning, you slide open the door of room 43, immediately seeing the girl squirming and fighting for her freedom. 

You could see his eyes light up when he saw her, the sinful intentions almost clear. He steps forward, gripping the foot board. He’s clearly at a loss of words from your  “Simply… Darling.” 

“Take a seat.” You smile, gesturing for him to sit in the plush chair next to you. “We have so much to discuss, and even more to plan.” Picking up the small, sharp, spinning wheel, you trace it firmly against her collarbone. The device leaves small pricks on her skin as she writhes under your touch. “What attracted you to Haley here?”

James was quick to answer. “She’s gorgeous. Reminds me of you in the Golden Age.” You nod. 

“Why? Why did you entertain her when you were clearly going nowhere?”

The redhead is eager to reply, and you were eager to shush her. “He-” 

“Ah, hush it. You’ve no say in these matters!” You shove a rag in her mouth, effectively rendering her incapable of speaking.

After what felt like hours of questioning and torturing, you grew bored. Quickly grabbing the long blade from the tray, you jab it in her heart, close to about ten times. Probably more. 

“Ah, you’ve spoiled the fun.” James smirks from the corner of the room. Waving for you to come over, you sit on his lap. “Now, what else might be nice?”

His lips crash onto yours but you pull away, fighting against the arm around your hips. “You’re not getting anything until you make this up to me!” 

He groans, releasing you. You leave the room with a smirk. “Hazel, dear, I have a chore!”

I can say as someone who was previously a “Reddit liberal” that there is definitely a specific brand of social liberal ideology you find there so idiosyncratic that you can often tell someone’s a Reddit user by hearing them voice opinions in line with it.

The same can be said of Tumblr, of course, but I feel like Tumblr’s form of social liberalism had had mildly more mainstream success in leaving the website (for example, through Buzzfeed, Mic.com, Everyday Feminism, etc.)

anonymous asked:

How would Qrow, Ozpin, Cinder and Ironwood deal with a s/o that fits the cloudcuckoolander trope (someone with a seemingly bizarre logic, difficult to follow trail of thought, eventually strange mannerism, etc. but in case somebody understand 1/2

them, their ramblings may reveal themself to include some very fascinating/wise insights)? 2/2

This was an interesting one, hope I did your request justice!

—————

Qrow

  • Crap, it’s like another Ozpin, spouting weird, deep nonsense.
  • Seriously though, he’ll try and follow his s/o’s train of thought, and he’ll be mildly successful but some times he’s just left like ‘yeah, okay babe.’
  • He never patronize them or dismiss them because of their ramblings, though.
  • Real smug whenever someone doubts them but then something they said is revealed to be real wise and important and that person is just left like ‘oh…’
  • I’ve heard crows are smart creatures, yet why am I always scraping them off my windows after I just washed them?
  • ‘… was that an insult?’

Ozpin

  • ‘s/o, you are so insightful.’
  • He listens to everything they say.
  • Tries and decodes all of it.
  • He’s actually pretty good at following along.
  • They suggest something seemingly insane that just leaves everyone else like ‘???????’ but Oz is nodding along like ‘yes, go on.’
  • He hates how everyone dismisses them when in actuality they have a very good understanding of how the world works and is very wise with great ideas. It’s probably one of the few things that could actually make him mad, someone openly disrespecting them repeatedly.

Cinder

  • This girl as been spoiling your plans? Why, we should dress her up like a steak and wait for the beowolves to get her!
  • ‘… what?’
  • Humors her s/o, but doesn’t quite understand them. 
  • She tries, really she does, but she just can’t quite wrap her head around what they’re trying to say.
  • They’ll start spouting nonsense and she’ll just kinda put her hand on their head and pull them to her side like ‘ssshhhh’.
  • But anyone who calls them crazy or disrespects them gets fucking burnt immediately.

Ironwood

  • ‘No, dear, I will not paint the entire Atlesian air fleet like a flock of parrots. Yes, I have no doubt it would distract the enemy but i’m not sure it’s practical.’
  • He’s used to Oz saying weird, deep metaphors but this is on a different level and it kinda throws him off.
  • Like before their dating he’ll be in a room with them and he’d be internally blushing looking at them, but when they turn and say something odd he’s just… confused.
  • He is kinda dismissive of them for a while, honestly. 
  • After a while of knowing them, though, he really starts to listen and realizes ‘oh, they have weird logic but if you take a minute they actually know what they’re talking about’.
  • He’s embarrassed he dismissed them so easily and actually apologizes (even though he never outwardly said anything disrespectful, not even behind their back) before ever asking them out. 
Samantha Goes to Elefante

My late grandmother was a big fan of dinner theater. In fact, she died during the third act of a production of Madame Butterfly at a Japanese restaurant in the Valley. I, on the other hand, am not a fan of dramatics with my dining, which is why I am giving my lowest rating EVER to Elefante, the restaurant owned by mildly successful 90s sitcom actor BoJack Horseman. 

The food was…well, somewhat fantastic, but at one point during the experience I witnessed Mr. Horseman himself fighting loudly with a pink cat who I believe was his agent (or maybe his ex-agent after that little spat?). I also witnessed a member of the kitchen staff racing through the dining room WHILE IN FLAMES. Might I add that I also waited over 2 hours for my food? It was most frustrating.

One bright spot in the meal: The air freshener in the bathroom was cloying and reminded me my grandmother, the one who died at that Japanese restaurant in the Valley.  

STAR RATING: 412 out of 1,000,000,000

Essays in Existentialism: Bands

if you’re still taking prompts I think melancholy!musician Lexa and looking-for-inspiration!artist Clarke could be a cool idea. melancholy was too hard. how about cocky?

The last hour of work was time’s cruel joke. That bothered Clarke, the ability time seemed to have to toy with the emotions and days of individuals, how absolutely astounding it was to not be a constant, steady thing she always believed it to be. Those were thoughts that kept her distracted for agonizing seconds at the end of the day, especially fridays, when she watched the clock refuse to tick. It wasn’t because she was especially busy and had outrageous plans, but it was more that action of clocking out and shedding the corporate feeling of what art could be, and renouncing her sell-out-ishness for a few hours, until the week started again, that kept her attention.

Clarke had exactly one thing on her mind for her time off, and it was standing in front of her canvas with her brush and being unable to start. It’d been a routine she’d perfected over the past few weeks of ridiculous drought of desire to do anything at all. The rush and high of her show last month dried her up, left her hollow and emptied. And now she suffered.

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Memories Over Objects

Title: Memories Over Objects

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Request: Could you do a dean x reader one shot where the boys force the reader to cut her hair (if she wants to keep hunting with them) and she gets super upset and makes dean do it because she feels more comfortable with him? - anonymous

Word Count: 1074

Warnings: swearing, fluff, slight angst

Note: I haven’t written in a while, sorry if this is a mess :/

You and the boys had just gotten back from a mildly successful hunt. The three of you ended up finishing the job, but your long hair got in the way of it again while you attempted to attack one of Crowley’s demons. As you were about to gain the upper hand to the male demon, he used the advantage of your hair and flung you against the wall.

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Just in time for #toonsday! It’s a blast from the far-flung past, and a 4-and-a-half for one update special. All the way from La Brea, CA….

The Fossil Fools!

The boys (Arnie, Ronnie, and Stevie) were gas jockeys/auto-mechanics. They would get into various (mis)adventures as a result of their bumbling. Vickie would often distract them during work or in need of a rescue from the boys’ egregious auto service. Rocky was Ronnie’s pet rock. He’s surprisingly mobile!

They had a short, but mildly-successful run back in the 20s! Wonder where they are now…?

DIU AU where everything is the same, except Rohan is a mildly successful ecchi artist on deviantART and not a famous mangaka.
OC Question - School Edition

1. Which oc has a favorite student?

2. Which oc *is* the favorite student?

3. Which oc helps their friends cheat on tests or homework?

4. Which ocs form a mildly successful study group?

5. Which oc draws on the chalkboard when the teacher is out of the room?

6. Which oc is the teacher who comes back to find their board covered in drawings?

7. What do your ocs do during lunch/break?

8. Which ocs have an elaborate ongoing game every day at recess?

A Slow Descent: Chapter One

Summary: Falling in love with your best friend is a secret usually best left untold. Phil Lester, however, has never been good at keeping secrets.

A/N: This is going to be a chaptered story. Chapter one is the first of (hopefully) many and is included below. I hope this is interesting as it is not an AU and focuses on potentially realistic events. This story is written from Phil’s POV.


Chapter One: Prettier and Younger But Not Any Better Off

Word Count: 2060

Genre: Fluff+Angst

Warnings: Swearing


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