mildly successful

Every season of gbbo
  • Student balancing exams AND baking!? HOW will they manage?? The stress????
  • That one person that never properly finishes their bakes
  • Contestant who is barely able to contain their unbridled ambition. No, it doesn’t matter they didn’t get star baker or had a bad judging, they’re just happy to be here *forced smile* 
  • Stay at home mom who just doesn’t want to disappoint anyone, oh no she’s crying now and your heart is broken
  • Grandparent just looking for something to occupy themselves
  • Someone bringing in home-grown produce
  • A young, pretty woman who inevitably gets dragged over hot coals online if she’s even mildly successful
  • A large, beautiful man that you have at least one (1) sex dream about
  • Cinnamon roll, must be protected, always 5 seconds away from crying
  • Engineer or scientist that shows off their science skillz 
  • Person with a design-oriented job that gets criticized for “style over substance”
  • Person who cops an attitude during the judging
  • World’s Best Dad ™ whose bio clips are full of them parenting
i like you (this is a problem)

“Here’s the thing-” Lily said, marching into the pub and pulling out a stool.

“We’re closed.” James interrupted without looking up from wiping down the bar.

“I want a dog.” Lily barrelled on without hearing him. “But my landlord doesn’t allow pets so I was wondering-“

“I’m not getting a fucking dog for you.” James said firmly.

Lily blinked at him. “I was going to ask if you thought it was morally wrong to raise it in my air-vent.” There was a silence. James was caught between hoping she wasn’t serious and knowing that she was. “Your idea seems better.” Lily admitted.

“Really. Talk me through that, is it because there is no animal abuse involved?”

“I was thinking more along the lines of then you’d have to clean up the poo, but the no animal abuse is also good.”

“Y’know” Sirius was lying on top of the bar, waving around a beer and staring at the ceiling. Nobody looked up. “I always thought once we owned a bar we would spend a solid 60% percent of our time drunk, and that hasn’t happened.” 

Remus, still wiping down tables, said “I shudder to think what you’d be like on your own.”

“Since we bought the bar we spend more time drunk than we used to?” Peter consoled, baffled.

Sirius sat up. “I would say we spent about 15% percent of our time drunk before the bar, and after the bar we spend about 25%. That is an increase of only ten percent.”

“Where are you pulling these numbers from?” Lily asked while holding the ladder for James, who was avoiding the dishwasher by pretending to fix the squeaky window.

“On top of being an excellent barman I double as a statistician.”

“You are neither of those things.” Remus said. Sirius glared.

“Fuck you Moony. At school you were always saying I didn’t do enough math, and here I am, doing math, and you’re abusing me.”

Remus threw a dishtowel at him and gestured to the kitchen. “Go unstack the dishwasher.”

“Fantastic.” Sirius said, throwing his hands in the air. “This is what I get for my brief foray into math. Insulted and unloading dishes.” He jumped off the bar and mockingly gave Remus’ back the finger. James laughed.

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From the Wreckage

summary: You and Bucky have been dating for a couple of years now. Lately, he has become extremely distant. You worry that the end of your relationship is in sight. - requested by anon. (want to make a request?)

words: 2,912

contains: angst? but it turns fluffy!  


Originally posted by rohgers

I was losing him, and I didn’t know why, or how to stop it.

 I met Bucky about six months after he was accused of the bombings in Vienna. He had been all over the news – people debating whether or not the Winter Soldier was a criminal. People demanded he and Captain America be charged with treason, terrorism, basically anything they could think of that had even the slimmest chance of sticking. It was a debate that took over news channels for months and months. People wanted so-called justice, but no one could find Captain Rogers or his team.

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You’ve Got Mail: An OQ AU

Robin Locksley is a small business owner, and Regina Mills is a corporate raider who has set her sights on his store–and both are completely unaware that they’re falling in love.

For @inutilidadesbytamara who AGES AGO requested a fic that was loosely based on the plot of You’ve Got Mail; and for @emmaswanchoosesyou who requested a fic in which love letters that Robin and Regina get mixed up with letters Ruby and Belle have been exchanging. 

Thanks to @lala-kate, @glindalovesshoes, @umbrellagates and @x-wishes-on-fallen-stars-x who all helped with this, in one way or another.

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Ready or Not [James March x Reader]

Request: “Can you please do an imagine where you are married to James and you see a girl flirting with him so you get jealous and kill her. Thanks love 😊”

Warnings: RATED R, SPOILERS, Murder, mentions of rape, prostitution, jealous!reader, torture, possibly more

Word Count: 1168

A/N: So I got bored and figured out how to make gifs & watermark them! I seriously need a holy water bath after this one… Especially that rape/James being ??? I originally had this super fucked idea but figured it was way too dark for LG.

The girl laughs dramatically, throwing her arm onto his. He smiles and looks over at you, some emotion wild in his eyes.

Muttering under your breath, you wave Liz down. “I don’t care what you give me, just make it strong.” You grimace, shrugging in the direction of James and the redhead. Liz smiles sadly.

“You’ve been with James for, what… A hundred years?” She laughs. “He’d never do that to you.”

“Ninety-one.” You say quietly. “We’ve been married for ninety-one years. Known each other for… ninety-five. We met when women could vote, some time in the ‘20′s.” Liz hands you a glass, leaning over on the bar. It was obvious she wanted to hear more. “He was in the process of planning this hotel. I helped him with everything he found mundane, or everything that didn’t involve murder or sex.” 

“You designed all of this?” She says, slightly shocked. You nod as you take a sip of whatever drink she handed you, seeing her look around.

“It took two years to plan and build. By that time, he had mastered killing, and started expressing an interest in me doing so. And you know, I never had an issue with whatever disgusting things he did to them after their demise. I turned the other cheek, pretended like it wasn’t happening.” 

The memories came back to you at once, a mixture of happiness and hatred filling you, plus whatever the alcohol added. One memory stood prominent, though. The first time you found out exactly what James had done to the woman, who you later found out was Margarita Michael, a local prostitute who often used the hotel for her work. It disgusted you, and your husband found out quickly.

After luring her to one of his rooms, he had tied her to the bed, put a gag in her mouth, and fucked her. As he thrust into her, the blade of his knife slit across her throat, lightly. Enough to make her bleed, but not enough to kill her. He kept pumping in and out of her panicked body, his knife slashing her over, and over, and over, until there was simply nothing left but a bloody mess. 

When asked to justify his actions, he told you that it was incomparable. The feeling of her hot cunt around his cock, her hips rocking up and down, and the way she twitched on his length with every stroke of the blade on her torso. You promptly slapped your husband, disgust and envy rushing through you. 

He stayed still, letting you scream and shout at him, which was a rare thing. James knew it was wrong, he knew that he should run upstairs and fuck his very much alive wife… What he didn’t know, though, was how to react, what to say, whether to defend himself or not. He just didn’t know what to do. James stopped after you got angry, though. It became even rarer than him letting you become the dominant one in the relationship. He absolutely hated seeing you upset, even more so when he caused it. 

Back to the present. Liz was engrossed in your stories about the roaring twenties, the depression, the second world war, and the other decades. You tried to leave out as much about your husband and his hobbies, but they never left your mind. Especially on this night, because of the fiery redhead who was sitting with your James.

As the night continued, your mind continued to cook up schemes on what you’d do to the woman. Your first thought were the walls- you’d wall her up like James did to the Valentino couple. Then your mind wandered off to the acid pit, watching her flesh sizzle off of her bones while she screams. Next came the idea of just tossing her down one of the chutes alive, listening to her as she came to and realized what was going on around her until she eventually starved. Finally, you just wanted her dead, and it didn’t much matter how creative you got.

First, you’d somehow get her to a room. Maybe you’d pile on the charm, seduce her. That was really the only good option you could think of in the few minutes. Then, you’d knock her out. Hit her over the head with a lamp, punch her in the throat… That’d be a bit rough though, because it could probably kill her. You wanted to play with her a bit first. Last was the kill. You’d force James from his hidey-hole and make him come into the room. He’d watch you torture this woman and he’d enjoy it (which would be easy for him, he loved watching you paint the walls with blood).

The plan was mildly successful, and the girl, Haley, willingly came up to the room and let you tie her up, nude. You felt a tiny bit of remorse, but the excitement of what was soon to happen made it better. Tightening her restraints, you left the room.

“James!” You shouted, dancing through a hallway of the Cortez. “Jamesie! Lovely husband?!” 

“Dearest?” You hear the wonderful transatlantic accent at the end of the hall. He smirks, walking what felt painstakingly slowly to you. “What’s wrong?”

“I have a surprise for you.” Grinning, you slide open the door of room 43, immediately seeing the girl squirming and fighting for her freedom. 

You could see his eyes light up when he saw her, the sinful intentions almost clear. He steps forward, gripping the foot board. He’s clearly at a loss of words from your  “Simply… Darling.” 

“Take a seat.” You smile, gesturing for him to sit in the plush chair next to you. “We have so much to discuss, and even more to plan.” Picking up the small, sharp, spinning wheel, you trace it firmly against her collarbone. The device leaves small pricks on her skin as she writhes under your touch. “What attracted you to Haley here?”

James was quick to answer. “She’s gorgeous. Reminds me of you in the Golden Age.” You nod. 

“Why? Why did you entertain her when you were clearly going nowhere?”

The redhead is eager to reply, and you were eager to shush her. “He-” 

“Ah, hush it. You’ve no say in these matters!” You shove a rag in her mouth, effectively rendering her incapable of speaking.

After what felt like hours of questioning and torturing, you grew bored. Quickly grabbing the long blade from the tray, you jab it in her heart, close to about ten times. Probably more. 

“Ah, you’ve spoiled the fun.” James smirks from the corner of the room. Waving for you to come over, you sit on his lap. “Now, what else might be nice?”

His lips crash onto yours but you pull away, fighting against the arm around your hips. “You’re not getting anything until you make this up to me!” 

He groans, releasing you. You leave the room with a smirk. “Hazel, dear, I have a chore!”

Hi there....

So recent events have made me realize how much I have distanced myself from, well, everyone in my life including my Klaroline fandom.

I just wanted to take the time out to say thank you to you all for being my friends because some of you have been friends to me even when the people in my real life felt too far away to reach.

So much of the last few years have been about surviving my mental health, not a lot of you that I actually started writing Klaroline multi-fics to keep myself from actually killing myself.

Klaus saved my life for being as damaged as he was and finding his light through Caroline, in Caroline and that is only one of the reasons I am thankful for TVD. The other reasons are each and every one of you.

Thank you for being my light, my friends, and for being these amazingly strong women I can look up to from every walk of life. You all hold a very special place in my heart.

Oh, and Klaroline is ENDGAME.

gooddame’s Follow Forever (In no particular order):

@marvelouskatie, @alyonsden, @shakespeariannerd, @liarfaker-blog, @caritobear, @eternityofklaroline, @jomosfamilyjewels, @klaroline-fantasies, @sophisticatedfangirling, @his-insane-girlfriend, @grandshoes-and-sanddad,

  @hotbloodedhunter, @busterl0ve, @jomoporn, @kickassfu, @thecunningcock, @maevelin, @accioklaus, @wanderlust-in-nyc, @hellocutepanda, @idiot–wind—wind, @berrywoman, @kcmt1, @jomo-sweetheart,

@cygnetofthesea, @unwillingsuspensionofdisbelief, @hurrican3lov3, @hummingbirds-and-champagne, @missielynne, @fightsweet, @thicksexxualtension, @klarolineepiclove, @tardis-23, @hellzz-on-earth,

@hybridlicious, @a-little-blonde-distraction, @klarolinewarrior, @wavesofjoyy, @justanotherfiveminutes, @thedenimofrose, @ferrylis, @willowolven, @klaroline-overdose, @aphrodihe, @kmoftherose, @anastasiadreams,

@daysleepingnightscheming, @livingdeadblondequeen, @tonkola, @willowaus, @dustandrubies, @cupcakemolotov, @stylish-fan, @consortyana, @she-walked-away, @lclrgsl, @shipatfirstsight,

@kcendgame, @des452, @thenurseholliday, @makingmyownhappyending, @goldcaught, @lalainajanes, @hothybridvampireship, @lynyrdwrites, @thetourguidebarbie, @snowyarbo, @redcoatblonde, @cbk1000,

@survivorjace, @austennerdita2533, @accidental-rambler, @klarolineforevermine, @joey-prue, @ssklaroline, @that-wandering-belle, @mortuarybeautyschool, @eriberry89, @klarolinestan, @kathern,

@lovetheklaroline, @carolineforbesisawesome, @elizamorley, @kjsama, @queencarolinemikaelson, @xxafterthestormxx, @klaraholic, @honestgrins, @lilbreck, @klarolinedrabbles, @klarolineshippersclub, @captndevil,

@royalcaliber, @themikaelsoncupcake, @radientwings, @supremeuppityone, @littlebirdofthenorth, @strongbeautifulfulloflight, @sneakercladbrunette, @loveyou914, @my-light-into-the-darkness, @kcismyreligion,

@americanwordsmith, @wintersquares, @jonsnowbitch, @megansarah11, @realynn8, @hellsbellschime, @the-doctor-in-a-deerstalker, @sunshinegold, @jeweljessicajones, @arustykiss, @paigemarie007, @delightfullysunny,

@dontbeallupinmyfriesdawg, @fanfantasticworld, @ckhybrid, @niklausxcaroline, @tardis-23, @candicemorgan, @itsnotacrimetoloveyou, @klarolinessecondbreakfast, @purestheartslove, @howeverlongs, @c-sand,

@misssophiachase, @klarolinekolvina, @khaleesiofthewolves, @elleinaustin, @onlyklarolinefeels, @blackefaeriequeene, @thedisdainfullysilentvisitor, @klaro-addict, @piratesails, @geeky-greek, @sakuraraestar, @katieb373,

@garglyswoof, @skyangel22, @candycolamorgan, @eils-emacsweeny, @3tinkgemini, @smilinginfinitely, @0oharleyquinno0, @niklausmikaelsn, @arrenemris, @ashleigh-jewitt-xx, @highgaarden, @leeloships, @these-dreams-go-on

 Thank you so much for putting up with my mildly successful blogging and on occasion writing skills. Also to my sister who made me get this thing in the first place.

anonymous asked:

How would Qrow, Ozpin, Cinder and Ironwood deal with a s/o that fits the cloudcuckoolander trope (someone with a seemingly bizarre logic, difficult to follow trail of thought, eventually strange mannerism, etc. but in case somebody understand 1/2

them, their ramblings may reveal themself to include some very fascinating/wise insights)? 2/2

This was an interesting one, hope I did your request justice!



  • Crap, it’s like another Ozpin, spouting weird, deep nonsense.
  • Seriously though, he’ll try and follow his s/o’s train of thought, and he’ll be mildly successful but some times he’s just left like ‘yeah, okay babe.’
  • He never patronize them or dismiss them because of their ramblings, though.
  • Real smug whenever someone doubts them but then something they said is revealed to be real wise and important and that person is just left like ‘oh…’
  • I’ve heard crows are smart creatures, yet why am I always scraping them off my windows after I just washed them?
  • ‘… was that an insult?’


  • ‘s/o, you are so insightful.’
  • He listens to everything they say.
  • Tries and decodes all of it.
  • He’s actually pretty good at following along.
  • They suggest something seemingly insane that just leaves everyone else like ‘???????’ but Oz is nodding along like ‘yes, go on.’
  • He hates how everyone dismisses them when in actuality they have a very good understanding of how the world works and is very wise with great ideas. It’s probably one of the few things that could actually make him mad, someone openly disrespecting them repeatedly.


  • This girl as been spoiling your plans? Why, we should dress her up like a steak and wait for the beowolves to get her!
  • ‘… what?’
  • Humors her s/o, but doesn’t quite understand them. 
  • She tries, really she does, but she just can’t quite wrap her head around what they’re trying to say.
  • They’ll start spouting nonsense and she’ll just kinda put her hand on their head and pull them to her side like ‘ssshhhh’.
  • But anyone who calls them crazy or disrespects them gets fucking burnt immediately.


  • ‘No, dear, I will not paint the entire Atlesian air fleet like a flock of parrots. Yes, I have no doubt it would distract the enemy but i’m not sure it’s practical.’
  • He’s used to Oz saying weird, deep metaphors but this is on a different level and it kinda throws him off.
  • Like before their dating he’ll be in a room with them and he’d be internally blushing looking at them, but when they turn and say something odd he’s just… confused.
  • He is kinda dismissive of them for a while, honestly. 
  • After a while of knowing them, though, he really starts to listen and realizes ‘oh, they have weird logic but if you take a minute they actually know what they’re talking about’.
  • He’s embarrassed he dismissed them so easily and actually apologizes (even though he never outwardly said anything disrespectful, not even behind their back) before ever asking them out. 

They ran into each other on the balcony, Céilí heading back from joining Brigitte to put Effie to bed, a mildly more successful interaction while she had a cuddly bunny in one hand and milk in the other.

“Have you seen my mother yet?”

Céilí scowled at him. “Of course I have. She’s as insufferable as ever, though I’m glad my being here is pissing her off.”

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Just in time for #toonsday! It’s a blast from the far-flung past, and a 4-and-a-half for one update special. All the way from La Brea, CA….

The Fossil Fools!

The boys (Arnie, Ronnie, and Stevie) were gas jockeys/auto-mechanics. They would get into various (mis)adventures as a result of their bumbling. Vickie would often distract them during work or in need of a rescue from the boys’ egregious auto service. Rocky was Ronnie’s pet rock. He’s surprisingly mobile!

They had a short, but mildly-successful run back in the 20s! Wonder where they are now…?

I can say as someone who was previously a “Reddit liberal” that there is definitely a specific brand of social liberal ideology you find there so idiosyncratic that you can often tell someone’s a Reddit user by hearing them voice opinions in line with it.

The same can be said of Tumblr, of course, but I feel like Tumblr’s form of social liberalism had had mildly more mainstream success in leaving the website (for example, through Buzzfeed,, Everyday Feminism, etc.)

Alexis Leon Midford headcanons

Requested by Anonymous :) 

- After graduating from Weston in 1870, Alexis’s father—Lord Alexander Midford—sent his son to Landau, Germany to serve under Crown Prince Frederick of Prussia in the Franco-Prussian War (1870-71)**. For nine months, Alexis disregarded finery and instead ate, trained, and fought alongside his fellow soldiers despite his elevated status as a quasi-English “ambassador.” 

- In September 1870, Alexis participated in the Battle of Sedan. There, Alexis not only showed unfailing courage and resolve but also prudence, control, and a sort of level-headed cool that inspired praise from the crown prince himself. While under heavy artillery fire, Alexis deftly outmaneuvered the Army of Châlons’ cavalry to drag two of his comrades—and a wounded French solider—to safety. (“In war there are casualties, yes, but there is also human decency, mutual respect, and the constant reminder that civilization must not crumble in the face of gunfire. I have never found it necessary to kick a man while he’s down and, in any case, how did that old saying go? You can learn more from your enemy while he’s alive than when he’s six feet under.”) 

- Even though Francis defeated Alexis at the national fencing championship, she fell in love with his valor, bravery, and staunch, infallible sense of honor and human decency. He was so unlike her own family who, while loving, were Machiavellian consorts of the cruelest kind.

- Alexis loved having tea parties with Lizzy and her various “guests” (AKA, porcelain-faced dolls that cost a small fortune). He would always greet Lizzy and all her ladies with a bow and a compliment, pulling out their chairs and going along with whatever story Lizzy felt like telling.

- Beneath that stern British knight veneer, Alexis is just one big softie—he’s a huge fan of arts and crafts, particularly glassblowing. When he first began courting Francis, he left her these elaborate and extremely beautiful glass figurines—a rose colored Juliet leaning against her balcony; Eros escorting Psyche to Olympus; Paris and Helen embracing. Vincent eventually got so curious he asked Francis where she was ordering these figurines from but, when she refused to tell him (because Vincent was being a nosy big brother), he decided to investigate himself. Imagine Vincent’s surprise when he discovered it was actually Alexis who was crafting these sculptures from the east wing of Midford Castle.

- Alexis personally taught Edward lessons in tactical warfare and international diplomacy. (To help him learn, Alexis would set up extremely elaborate games of capture the flag using the Midford servants and his old military buddies, including high ranking major generals and renowned diplomats. Needless to say, Edward learned from the best.) 

- Alexis is a very talented gardner. His office is decorated with succulent plants, apple blossoms, and white gardenias. (Francis’s favorite flower.)

- He is perfectly aware of the Phantomhive family heritage and their job as the Queen’s Watchdog. —> Before Vincent gave his consent, he sent Alexis on a wild goose chase, leaving cryptic clues and messages to see if his future brother-in-law was capable of keeping up with his sister’s quick intellect. He was mildly impressed by Alexis’s success—as well as Alexis’s strangely jovial and jocose personality. (“I’ve never encountered a man so…cheerful and optimistic. Tell me, is that a Midford thing?” — Vincent, describing his brother-in-law Alexis)

- Alexis observes (and is aware of) many things. He just chooses not to give voice to it. 

- Alexis likes to snack on sunflower seeds. He once fell asleep with an open bag of them near his desk; Lizzy climbed up, sat in her father’s lap, and began gluing them to a piece of paper. Alexis awoke to find a sunflower seed portrait of the Midford crest glued to a piece of paper that turned out to be a letter from the prime minister. But rather than being upset, Alexis kept it as a testament of his daughter’s “innate sense of creativity” and, to this day, still keeps it in the topmost drawer of his desk.  

- Alexis used to give Edward piggyback rides around his playroom while his son pretended to be Arthur Wellesley, the man who defeated Napoleon at the Battle of Waterloo in 1815. 

- At one point, Alexis dreamed of becoming a pirate but then realized pirates disobeyed the British crown so instead, he become a military officer. 

- Alexis’s favorite food is shepherd’s pie. Unlike his wife and daughter, he doesn’t have much of a sweet tooth.

- Alexis’s penmanship is absolutely beautiful—so beautiful, in fact, that her majesty wanted to make him her personal secretary. (He declined as he didn’t want to spend so much time at court and away from his family. Ironically, while Victoria is wily and underhanded, she actually admires Alexis’s morals and valiant sense of honor.)

- Alexis was so proud when Edward was born that “it was definitely worth Francis nearly dislocating my hand from my wrist.” When Lizzy was born, Alexis called her “my most angelic miracle.”

- Alexis knows how hard Lizzy works to try and make Ciel happy and he’s always there for her, supporting his daughter and giving her words of encouragement.

- How Alexis deals with insults/slander. Insult him: 

“Well, that’s just how some people are, I suppose!” *smiles cheerfully and goes about his merry way*

Insult his wife:

“You see, while I have always been of the opinion that one should state their thoughts freely and without judgement, I will now rescind that belief in favor of removing your head from your shoulders.”

Insult his son:

“Dear sir, I must give you my greatest sympathies and condolences—it must be absolutely wretched to live life as an idiot.”

Insult his daughter:

Alexis: “I’m afraid that appointment of yours has now been cancelled.”

“What do you mean?”

Alexis: “Her majesty does not converse with dead and decaying corpses. En garde!”  

**The royal family (during the Victorian era) was actually more German than English. Queen Victoria’s mother was a German born princess and Victoria’s husband, Prince Albert, was also German. Furthermore, Victoria’s eldest daughter (also named Victoria) married Crown Prince Frederick of Prussia so this headcanon of Alexis going to study under German generals during the Franco-Prussian War fits in with the international relations of the Victorian era. 

Essays in Existentialism: Bands

if you’re still taking prompts I think melancholy!musician Lexa and looking-for-inspiration!artist Clarke could be a cool idea. melancholy was too hard. how about cocky?

The last hour of work was time’s cruel joke. That bothered Clarke, the ability time seemed to have to toy with the emotions and days of individuals, how absolutely astounding it was to not be a constant, steady thing she always believed it to be. Those were thoughts that kept her distracted for agonizing seconds at the end of the day, especially fridays, when she watched the clock refuse to tick. It wasn’t because she was especially busy and had outrageous plans, but it was more that action of clocking out and shedding the corporate feeling of what art could be, and renouncing her sell-out-ishness for a few hours, until the week started again, that kept her attention.

Clarke had exactly one thing on her mind for her time off, and it was standing in front of her canvas with her brush and being unable to start. It’d been a routine she’d perfected over the past few weeks of ridiculous drought of desire to do anything at all. The rush and high of her show last month dried her up, left her hollow and emptied. And now she suffered.

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anonymous asked:

It's weird how much you fangirls tweet David. Seriously get a life and leave the poor man alone. he's not going to be your friend. He's not going to run off and marry you. Respect him.

A) I’ve tweeted him a handful of times. If you want to call me weird then please call me weird for the right reasons. I tweet Mark Pellegrino way more often - THAT’S WEIRD. 

B) Maybe David already is my best friend forever? Maybe we sit on the phone and talk about annoying anon’s who spread hate in someone elses name by the hour.  You know, when we aren’t discussing my boyfriend or his career. 

C) Of course David’s not going to run off and marry me, I would never say yes if he asks. I’m still young - gotta keep my options open in case Jeffrey Dean Morgan comes around with a shiny diamond. 

D) Get a life? I have one. I have a job and friends and family and a mildly successful fan fiction blog. I have a cat and hobbies. I like my little life. 

It doesn’t leave me any free time to go around dropping unnecessary, rude, and hateful crap in other people’s digital mailboxes though. Clearly this is your idea of “having a life” so I can see the confusion. I hope this helps clear that up for you. 

Originally posted by giantmonster

Samantha Goes to Elefante

My late grandmother was a big fan of dinner theater. In fact, she died during the third act of a production of Madame Butterfly at a Japanese restaurant in the Valley. I, on the other hand, am not a fan of dramatics with my dining, which is why I am giving my lowest rating EVER to Elefante, the restaurant owned by mildly successful 90s sitcom actor BoJack Horseman. 

The food was…well, somewhat fantastic, but at one point during the experience I witnessed Mr. Horseman himself fighting loudly with a pink cat who I believe was his agent (or maybe his ex-agent after that little spat?). I also witnessed a member of the kitchen staff racing through the dining room WHILE IN FLAMES. Might I add that I also waited over 2 hours for my food? It was most frustrating.

One bright spot in the meal: The air freshener in the bathroom was cloying and reminded me my grandmother, the one who died at that Japanese restaurant in the Valley.  

STAR RATING: 412 out of 1,000,000,000