mike makowski

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“He sent me another pair of vampire teeth, ugh.”

“I hate to say it, but I think Count Douchebag has ‘imprinted’ on you, as the vamp kids call it.”

“…don’t fucking say such fucking horrible things, Michael.”

I aged them up a bit, because high-school/middle-school drama is best drama, what with all the hormones running wild. Firkle is in in grade 4 still, tho.

Bonus:

I actually like Mike Makowski and here’s why: When people were asking to join his vamp group he originally consulted his friends about whether the person asking was “cool.” Then like Butters comes up and asks to join and immediately Mike’s friends tell him he’s not cool enough but then Mike’s just like, “Get us some snacks from the vending machine and we’ll think about it,” and when Butters does Mike had every opportunity to be a jerk and still say no but he doesn’t and lets Butters in anyway because Butters tells him he’s tired of being pushed around by his parents and other kids at school.