mike maker

The 5 Flavors of Fear: A Pennywise Guide to Fine Dining

Originally posted by thepumpkinqueenn

There are many different ways to prepare a meal, and so many flavors to choose from! To ensure that you are getting the best out of your feeding, we will go over the five primary flavors—and some simple steps to prepare them—so that you may can produce the tastiest fear you’ve eaten in thirty years.

Flavor One: Bitter Fear

A basic flavor, Bitter Fears are easy to come by, but often harder to digest. Humans are naturally bland, but just the right amount of Bitter Fear can make for a decent meal. Here are some tips to keep in mind when working with Bitter Fear:

Adult humans are prone to experiencing Bitter Fears. By showing them images of the past, usually in the form of a deceased child (preferably eaten by yourself) or lost loved one, their own memories will serve as a newly-opened spigot of Bitter Fear. However, given that this fear is mainly supplemented by adults, the notoriously flavorless form taken by humans, the flavor is short-lived and must be utilized quickly.

Originally posted by timothyyork

One way to know that your meal is ready is to check your prey for tears. If tears are flowing simultaneously from both eyes, the human is ready to eat. Remember, bitter tears make for Bitter Fears.

Flavor Two: Sour Fear

Sour fears manifest by the concentration of sudden-onset fear. Human tendencies toward anxiety, phobias and the like will aid in your efforts to properly prepare a sour meal.

Try to startle the human by creating an atmosphere of anxiety. Sudden, out-of-place sound or movement will concentrate their fear quickly and efficiently.

The key to perfecting Sour Fears and get the most out of your meal is stealth. Remain out of sight to allow your prey plenty of time to imagine the worst. Their fears will gradually reach a peak. Then, when the scent is lip-puckering ripe—strike!

Flavor Three: Spicy Fear

Spicy Fear comes in a variety of forms—much like yourself. To gain the perfect blend of Spicy Fear, it is imperative that you focus on your prey’s feelings of helplessness and anger. By accurately pinpointing their fears, you will be able to adjust them to your preferred level of spice.

Most adolescent humans are susceptible to Spicy Fear. However, given that adulthood is impending and their weak bodies are preoccupied with other—oftentimes helpful in your violent efforts—hormones, their flavor may be mild and not fulfilling to your tastes.

To get the best Spicy Fear from your prey, reveal yourself right away as an immediate and apparent danger. Take the form of what they fear most, and pursue them. The chase will excite their blood, stirring up their primal, fearful instincts.

Originally posted by eddiesgazebos

WARNING: Dealing with Spicy Fear is no small matter, and should be handled with extreme prejudice. If the human uses their anger to overcome your influence, their primitive instinct to fight may negate your efforts and ruin your meal.

Therefore, we encourage you to pursue prey in an enclosed environment, directing their attention to their helplessness to avoid their fate. (Additional tip: Mocking your catch once they are unable to flee adds an extra kick that is sure to make the meal).

Flavor Four: Sweet Fear

Arguably the most addictive of the flavors, Sweet Fear can only can only be incited and optimized by the perfect balance of trust and unease.

Children are especially flavorful in this area. Their robust imagination and blind faith, once tainted with mistrust, enriches the sweet flavor of their tiny, chewy bodies.

Begin with an investigation of the human’s particular likes and dislikes regarding material possessions and personal interactions. Appeal to their preferences by presenting a friendly, non-threatening form to draw them close. This will form a brief “bond” of trust with the human, creating a base to build upon for the eventual feeding.

Originally posted by thelosers-club

Once the base of fragile trust has been made, shatter it. If you want a quick, indulgent meal, attack the human immediately. Their lingering unease will provide a suitable snack on its own. However, if you prefer to increase the richness of your prey’s flavor, fatally wound them as soon as they are within reach.

The sudden shift from unease to outright terror and confusion will sprinkle the human with delightfully enriching taste. After all, seduction is the proper way to make a sweet treat.

Flavor Five: Savory Fear

The most satisfying of all flavors of fear, Savory Fears are also the most difficult to perfect. Savory Fear is an acquired taste, but nonetheless a fine-dining experience that will reward patience and practice.

Like humans, your prey will require curating in order to achieve that delectable savory flavor. After all, salting the meat makes for a tasty treat. To get the best out of your prey, imitate the following procedure at your discretion:

Locate your prey and anticipate their reaction to your presence. Gradually reveal yourself to them, repeating the process over a select period of time to saturate the fear. No matter the initial flavor—be it sweet, sour, or bitter—the curating process will allow plenty of time for their fears to ruminate and become Savory Fears.

Originally posted by villainquoteoftheday

Once you have cornered your prey, you may enjoy your patient efforts. Or, using your dead-lights, suspend—float—your catch. Similar to the human practice of hanging meat, this suspension will employ your powers beyond any physical action.

The dead-lights you possess will send your victim meal into a catatonic state of madness, inflicting upon them endless visions of paralyzing terror. The longer they float, the more savory their fear will become, and you will be free to indulge in your well-deserved moments of true, fine dining.

Enjoy your meal.


Anyone wanna tell me what the heck is going on in these pictures?

Like, there’s literally 409 in the coffee maker. “409 in your coffee maker” is the title of an actual Green Day song. We see you, Green Day. We see you.

Brian Epstein, George Martin, and Geoff Emerick in the control room preparing for the Beatles’ Our World live satellite television broadcast at Studio One, EMI Studios, London. (June 25th, 1967)


HENNESSEY: You once told me in an interview some years ago that you were anxious to find some creative outlet. Do you still feel frustrated over this?

BRIAN: Whatever may have happened in the intervening time, I have learned to live with the idea that I’m The Beatles’ manager. I’m a creative person to a degree, but the biggest thing that has ever happened to me is The Beatles. I have overcome the feelings of frustration, but The Beatles always make an effort to involve me in what they are doing. And they do involve me. They wanted me to sit in on the [Our World] TV thing, but I wanted to watch it come over on TV, so I wasn’t there. And I’m still very nervous of cameras.

HENNESSEY: What is the thing you fear most in life?

BRIAN: Loneliness. I hope I’ll never be lonely. Although, actually, one inflicts lonelinesss on oneself to a certain extent.

— Brian Epstein, interview w/ Mike Hennessey for Melody Maker. (August 5th, 1967)