migrations of the holy

“I’ve been misplaced in so many ways. Broken battlegrounds hiding veils of delicate deceit… Yet here I breathe. Teeth still gleam from holy water, while millions of lambs migrate to the slaughter. My head in a bag, and my hands are bound to my feet.

And voices sing, ‘Were we laced like common thieves? Tossed in a cell to feast with fleas, all because we never admitted a word.’

What will I see tonight in these eyes? And what will I know when the morning comes?

Must we remind of exchanges existing so long ago? Would we arrive at agreeable musings; sentimental, or just confusing? We lost what we had, then we took it back. Friends in the gutter, enjoy one another. Just give yourself to the dust and the dirt where you stand.

What will I see tonight in these eyes? And what will I know when the morning comes?

I’m not who you think I am. And even if I thought you’d know, I never would have told you so. And more alarming, I would have done the very same… Would have stole more than your name. Would have cursed and brought the world on your shoulders. I was in the wrong place at the right time.

And what’s the worst I’d see by giving myself to the earth below me? Not knowing how far I’d fall by casting away the old me. And just how long can I stay in illusions formed here long before me? And how long can I breathe the stolen breath you won beneath?

There’s that subtle smile that did me in. She mourns in agony, reminds me where I’ve been. She greets, ‘I’d never let this happen again.’ Where’s her heart? Mimicking the patriarch. She’s naive…”

- “A Night on the Town” - Act IV: Rebirth in Reprise - The Dear Hunter

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I just don't understand why

all my lesbians and bisexuals die or get fucked over. Like why are they so expendable? First Lexa, Faking It gets cancelled, I wait through 6 seasons of bullshit to get like what three scenes of Emison who are now supposed to be endgame after being bait forever, Pippy and TMI breakup, and more I’m too upset to remember. So I migrate my ass to Person of Interest because Shaw got shot and lived *holy shit groundbreaking* only to have Root shot to further Finch’s character development. I honestly couldn’t even watch the episode tonight because if just seeing the gif sets and spoilers did this to me then I can’t imagine what seeing it in its entire context would be like

Not even shitting on the writers or whatever I’m just upset that as a bisexual woman of color I do not feel that I have positive representation or living representation. It’s as if the world is saying you will never get a happy ending or will be the background wheels for someone else’s story. That might not have been the shows intention but it is how I feel. I become invested in these shows and characters only to relive the utter devastation I felt when Lexa died. I just don’t think it’s fair.

The modern nation-state, in whatever guise, is a dangerous and unmanageable institution, presenting itself on the one hand as a bureaucratic supplier of goods and services, which is always about to, but never actually does, give its clients value for money, and on the other as a repository of sacred values, which from time to time invites one to lay down one’s life on its behalf… [I]t is like being asked to die for the telephone company.
—  Alasdair MacIntyre, “A Partial Response To My Critics” in After MacIntyre: Critical Perspectives on the Work of Alasdair MacIntyre (p. 303), quoted in William T. Cavanaugh’s Migrations of the Holy, pp. 36-37.