alright i made a richard spencer getting punched shirt, the first pic is the front and the second is the back. you can buy it here on the store that i just put up. sorry its so expensive thats just the price zazzle gave me im making like $1 in profit off this
Top 9 Most Fight-Able Characters in Mystic Messenger
(ranked by the likelihood of winning from least to most likely)
9. “Mary” Vanderwood, Secret Agent Murdermonster
Result: A swift and painful death
Are you shitting me? You’ll be goddamn eviscerated on the spot. Not to mention nobody will ever find your body. This is completely fucking unadvisable. DO NOT DO THIS unless you have a DEATH WISH and want to disappear from the world completely. Vanderwood is not to be messed with. They’ve killed many a worthy foe, and you will not be one of them. There’s not much else to say here. I don’t care who you are, you should not challenge Vanderwood. Say your prayers, fucker
8. Unknown/Saeran Choi, Total Edgelord
Result: Utter defeat, probably followed by torture + imprisonment
I don’t think you need me to tell you that this kid is fucking off his rocker. Let’s be real, he’s probably killed a few people, and he enjoyed every minute of it. You can bet your ass he’ll likely torture you after defeating you, too. And you know, some of you sick fucks will probably enjoy the whole damn ordeal. You’re probably the only ones who’d WANT to fight him just to have him fucking step on you. Well congratu-fucking-lations, you got what you wanted. He still beats your ass. The only reason Vanderwood beats him in this ranking is because it’s possible he’d keep you alive for fun, and some of you would enjoy that, so at least it’s a fuckin victory for somebody. Fuck.
7. Jaehee Kang, Smarter than the CEO
Result: Total annihilation + jail time
Do you see this face? This is the face of someone who has been repressing violent urges for fucking years for the sake of keeping her job. If she could snap Jumin’s neck, she would in a heartbeat. You do not want to give her a justifiable reason to unleash that utter fucking rage on your sorry ass. Did you forget she has a black belt in judo? She could beat my ass. She could beat your ass. She could beat anyone’s ass. I don’t care WHO you think you are. And after the fight? She’ll report you to the proper authorities, pick up a cup of coffee, and finish her daily tasks like nothing fucking happened. What a wild bitch. I fucking love her to death, tbh. And you know what? How dare you challenge her. She deals with enough shit in her life. I hope she beats your ass with a righteous fucking fury. Have fun in jail, dipshit.
6. God 707, Meme Lord Supreme
Result: Depends on your approach, but probably a failure
Honestly Seven’s about as fucking predictable as a lunch box full of wasps. What am I even supposed to say here? He’d probably imitate that shitty ass vine meme the first time you punch him and say “I can’t believe you’ve done this”, complete with a British accent, but when you keep hitting, it’ll confuse him. The element of surprise is probably your best bet, but you also have no fucking clue what he’ll do. He might beat the shit out of you. He might scamper away on his scrawny ass legs and proceed to hack into everything you once loved or held dear. He might lay down on the ground and let you kick the shit out of him. In the end, it depends on his mood. Is that reliable at all? Absolutely fucking not. So go for it, but I literally have no idea how it’s gonna turn out for you.
5. Zen/Hyun Ryu, A God Among Men
Result: You have a good chance of winning, but at what cost?
OK BEFORE YOU LOSE YOUR MIND LISTEN THE FUCK UP. Why is Zen higher up on the list, Nani??? you ask me, pouting, clutching your Zen body pillow(s) in agony. Zen had a bad past!! He’s not easy to fight, he was such a bad boy!! v//w//v He’s so tough and strong and he’s our knight in shining armor! Hey!! Good for you! But GUESS FUCKING WHAT!! If you’re female, he’ll probably forfeit to you immediately, unlike the barbarians before him on this list, so technically he’s easier to fight! He’d probably LET you beat the shit out of him if it made you feel better. It’s not even a fucking question of who would win if a woman challenged him, so we’re gonna move on. Now, if you’re a GUY, he’d be more willing to square up, and my advice is go for his face. Pretty boy doesn’t like messing up his pretty mug, and if you play dirty, he’ll get scared real quick. His ponytail is a disadvantage for him, so yank it real hard. You have a better chance of beating him with perseverance, but if you let him get the upper hand, you’re deceased because he’s probably a heavy hitter. Also, you will incur the wrath of all his fangirls, and probably the angels above, and you will spend the rest of your life MISERABLE AND CURSED, so proceed with caution. If you can get away with it without anyone knowing your identity, you’re golden. Good luck, but also, why? do you even want to??
4. Jumin Han, Mistah Trussfund Kid (The CEO)
Result: Instant win, but your life will be RUINED
Honestly, I think certain RFA members would actually be very glad if someone handed Jumin’s ass to him, but good fucking luck accomplishing that without having your entire life destroyed. On a purely physical level, Jumin is no competition. He may be the tallest motherfucker around, but he’s never fought anyone before in his LIFE. You’d probably only have an issue here if you were short as shit, and even then, go for the knees, amirite? He’ll fall like a fucking oak tree, and then you can rip him a new one while he’s down. Easy peasy, right? WRONG. He’s got a horde of like 50 bodyguards that you have to sneak past or defeat first or something. And if you somehow make it to Jumin first, they’ll swarm your ass after you first start swinging and have you incapacitated in a few seconds. Are those first few swings worth it? Maybe. But he’s gonna sue your ass for everything you own. The whole world will know your name. If you don’t get jail time, you’ll wish you had. It will be an easier life than trying to live in the public. Zen and Jaehee might love you forever, though, so maybe they can pull a few favors for ya. You better pray they do. Good fuckin luck out there, champ.
3. Yoosung Kim, Small Child
Result: Victory, but with a catch
Look into this child’s eyes. Look me in the eyes. Tell me that Yoosung isn’t a fucking pansy. You can’t, can you? It’s because Yoosung is a fucking pansy. This kid would be down for the count after exactly one (1) punch. He might enjoy it a little too, which’ll be awkward as shit for both of you. HOWEVER. If you trigger his Yandere side, which is bullshit but whatever, he might put up more of a fight. How do you do this, you may ask? Insult Rika. or MC. (Probably Rika tho). Something inside him will snap, and then he’ll be trickier to handle. He’ll probably play dirty when he’s like this, so expect to get shanked or bitten or something. It doesn’t change the fact that his scrawny ass can’t fight for shit, so you’ll still probably win, but not without a few injuries yourself. Hurting Yoosung is probably the moral equivalent to kicking a puppy. If you can be ok with yourself after that, then I mean, go for it.
2. Rika, the Antichrist
Result: Certain victory, but extremely dangerous
Look, maybe I should’ve put her lower on the list considering she’s got an entire cult following her every order. But, honest to God, you would be morally obligated to fight her. Please beat the shit out of her. Physically, her scrawny ass could do nothing to stop you. She’s ruined the lives of her friends, as well as countless other people, because of her deranged and, quite frankly, selfish desires. Basically, she’s a little bitch. I don’t know how you’ll do it, but god damn, you’ll be everyone’s hero. The downside to this is that she might sick Saeran on you, which is gonna be a pain in your ass, and Yoosung might hate you forever, but I think you can live with that, right? Do us all a favor. Fight Rika.
1. Jihyun Kim/V, aka Flower Angel Sunshine Man
Result: Total Victory, but you’re basically Satan
BEFORE YOU SEND ME ANON HATE, REMEMBER: this is a list based on how likely you are to win. And V? V would let anyone beat him. He probably thinks he deserves it. He might defend himself a little, but he couldn’t bring himself to hurt you. Your victory would be almost immediate. There is no catch to V. You’d just win. But you’re a fucking monster for it. And you know what? I’ll beat the shit out of you if you hurt this man. So don’t even think about it, asshole.
Bitty won’t meet his eyes, instead focusing on the pebble he’s nudging with the toe of his shoe. Jack more than understands, a linked gaze gives intimacy, and intimacy has power. It’s easier to make vulnerable confessions when you pretend you’re sharing it with the air instead of another vessel.
“Coach never liked it much. ‘Course he married my mama, but I think it had more to do with him loving her more than he hated magic.”
Bitty’s face offers a patient smile, “Not Quidditch, honey. He has about as much magic as this here rock.”
Jack decides not to remark that all things have the potential for magic, even a rock. It’s unnecessary, he understands what Bittle meant and really, that’s not the point.
“He doesn’t hate you?”
It was meant to be a statement, an insistence, but it comes out more like a question. Surely Bitty’s dad doesn’t hate him. Jack finds it difficult to believe that anyone could hate Bittle. He conveniently ignores the whisper in the rustle of the trees reminding him that You did.
i guess you can help me out a bit and get a cute shirt or clock (or some other stuff) with a tiny cactus on it, from now on?
basically i’m desperate because i want to finally be able to visit a really really good friend of mine out in the US. there’s unfortunately no way i’d be able to save that all up with just my job, so everything i’d get from you guys buying a tiny cactus shirt will go straight into my US trip savings!
it’d really mean a lot to me if you can help @taureanwrites and me to finally meet up (and see bastille together in the process)
so, here’s a small, rare sight for you – a starter call! we
all know how these work, of course, but a little reminder than i am no longer
mutually exclusive ! we do not have to be mutual followers for you to like this
post ! i may still be a little selective, of course, but that’s par for the
course. so, smash that mf like, & i’ll throw something up !
“Are you a witch, cuz you’re smokin’!”
“Vote me guilty for my love for you.”
“Are you a Serial Killer? Cuz you stole my heart!”
“Not even a Disguiser could replicate my love for you!”
“Are you an Arsonist? Cuz you light up my world!”
“I’m an Investigator, and need to do a thorough search.”
“If I was an Amnesiac, I’d make sure to remember you.”
“I revealed myself as Mayor… Now that’s 3 to 1 on if we should date. Where do you want to go?”
“Hypothetical situation: Your boyfriend and I were transported while you were going at it.”
“Like the Vigilante, I’d die for you.”
“I wouldn’t go on alert just in case I could see your face at night.”
“You must be the Medium, because you’ll always be my target.”
“You know… The Medium’s Curse can be lifted by a true love’s kiss!”
“My love for you is stronger than my hate for the Framer.”
“(Y/n), this is your first SMTown isn’t it?” Amber asked,
sitting right next to me on the plane. She took notice of how nervous
I looked, playing with my fingers and tapping my foot. I turned to
her with a small smile.
“Is it that obvious? What if they don’t like me Amber? What if I
mess up on stage??” I questioned her rapidly, getting more tense by
the second. She let out a chuckle before placing a hand on my
shoulder. I felt a bit more relaxed by her next words;
“Hey, hey, hey, it’ll be fine. Just breathe. We’re all here to
perform and have fun. Besides, we’re performing for people who love
us and want to see us. You’re going to do great and the upside is
that they speak English too! You can talk to them. It’s just a two
day concert and then we all have 3 days to relax.” she smiled
reassuringly and leaned back into her chair when I nodded, letting a
Anon:Oooh how about a royalty au! Where reader is going to have to marry oikawa in an arranged marriage but she’s in love with her body guard Iwaizumi!!! And the night before the marriage she cries to iwaizumi to make her his just for the night
I want to start writing AU’s more frequently, so I might put up a poll for which AU I should write about first; what do you think? Let me know!
Female pronouns used!
Y/N smoothed down the front of her dress, frowning as she waited outside the banquet hall. She paused before she lifted her gloved hands to twist the seam from her wrist and fiddle with the rings on her fingers, only one left bare.
“I don’t like this,” She said quietly and Iwaizumi looked to her.
“Why not?” He asked, shuffling from his formal stance. “You should be happy, becoming queen.”
She scowled at the mahogany door in front of her and clenched her hands into fists. “I won’t become queen,” she hissed darkly, glaring furiously at the ornate gold door handle. “I will become a wife. I just don’t understand why I have to marry.”
Iwaizumi frowned and stepped forward to place his hand on the small of her back. She barely flinched but turned to look at him.
“You haven’t even met the Prince yet,” Iwaizumi pointed out with a small smile. “You may just like him.”
“What if he’s insufferable?” She asked matter-of-factly.
“He won’t be,” he assured.
She sniffed and straightened up as the door in front of them groaned and began to open. She smoothed her dress down.
“He better not be.” Y/N muttered before she put on a brilliant smile and began to walk up to her place at the table. Three people had immediately stood up to greet her, her father and he mother and one whom was foreign. He had waves of luscious brown hair and had a smug smirk on his face as he took Y/N’s hand to kiss.
“Crown Prince of Seijou, Oikawa Tooru,” he announced as he leant back, flipping his hair. “And, my, my, you look positively radiant.” She opened her mouth to thank him before he turned away to interact with a lord. “Ah, yes, where was I? Ah! The Stag! Well…”
Y/N shot Iwaizumi a sour look.
Yes, the crown prince certainly was insufferable.
“Ugh, I hate this ring! It’s so flashy,” Y/N hisses as she tried to pry the brilliant ruby ring from her finger, to which she struggled with until Iwaizumi offered his help. She scowled further as she unclipped the matching necklace from around her neck. “What an insufferable Prince.”
She flopped onto her bed, face-first, a Iwaizumi watched in amusement.
“Now, now,” he said softly as he sat down beside her. “I don’t suppose he can be that bad…”
“Haijime, he was flirting with the maids, he was flirting with you!” She pointed out with a sigh. “He rides his horse so flashily, and he wears turquoise all the time, not to mention the awful jewellery he insists on wearing.”
Iwaizumi scowled at the memory before he blanched. “Yes, Well…” he trailed off. “Have you tried speaking to His Royal Highness?”
She nodded. “Of course. Right after the banquet where I met him, father only said that it would be good for the kingdom. And now, he’s going to propose tomorrow.”
“Really?” Iwaizumi asked, his eyebrow raised curiously. “You can tell?”
Y/N sat up with a knowing grin and clutched a plush pillow close to her chest, shuffling until she was facing him.
“Of course,” she told him as if it were obvious. “He’s been flirting with me and buttering me up all week. He’ll take me out to the gardens in the summer dress that mother chose for me - no gloves - and he’ll tell me how much he loves me and ask me to marry him.”
“You’ve certainly thought about this.” Iwaizumi joked dryly as Y/N leant back to look up at the ceiling.
“Then I’ll say yes. We’ll marry the next week, and it will be extravagant and we will receive congratulations from all four corners of the country, then we’ll move to his palace, of course.” She continued as she flopped back on the bed, still clutching the pillow. “His family will expect a heir, and I, as his wife, will have to comply, and of course he needs a Princess as well, so I suppose we’ll have another.
“We’ll grow old together and die in time for our son to marry and take the throne in our stead, and see our daughter bear grandchildren and get married herself.”
Iwaizumi felt as if his mouth was a desert as Y/N sighed and sat up again, shuffling back until she was leaning against her pillows.
“I don’t want that, Hajime.”
His voice felt as rough as sandpaper as he spoke next. “What do you want?” he asked and she blinked at him.
He felt his face heat up and immediately felt as if he had said something wrong, but she only blinked twice more before a small smile stretched across her face.
“No one has ever asked me that before,” Y/N told him, sighing as she closed her eyes. “It feels nice. To have a choice.”
“So, what do you want?”
“To marry whomever I love,” she replied simply. “We’d live in a cottage, and I’d work in the farm. I’d have as many children as I’d want and they’d get a choice too. I’d love them so, so much.”
Iwaizumi chuckled and shuffled closer to ruffle her hair. “You haven’t worked a day of your life, whats this about farms?”
She pouted and batted his hands away.
“Down, Hajime! Down! I can dream!” She protested but Iwaizumi only laughed and ruffled her hair further.
“Alright then,” he leant down to press a kiss to her forehead. “Sleep well Princess.”
Iwaizumi exited the room to her flushed cheeks and dazed eyes, collapsing outside her door as soon as it was shut, a hand covering his mouth as his cheeks flushed a brilliant red.
He shouldn’t have done that. He really shouldn’t have done that.
“Iwaizumi-sa—? Oh God,” Soon, Hanamaki was leaning in front of him and wiping away tears that he hadn’t noticed were falling, pushing his dark hair back from his face. “Oh… Iwaizumi…”
Iwaizumi pulled his hand from his face to press to his chest, pressing his fist firmly against where is heart should be. Using the other to wipe away the falling tears.
“It hurts,” he whispered, finally feeling the sobs that wracked his body. “It hurts, Maki, it hurts, so, so much…”
Hanamaki smiled sadly and pushed back Iwaizumi’s hair again, resting a hand over Iwaizumi’s fist.
“That’s love, Iwaizumi,” Hanamaki told him as Iwaizumi felt the ache and clutched the fist closer to his chest, trying to dull it out. Hanamaki just rubbed soothing circles on his cheeks. “Horrible — isn’t it?”
Iwaizumi looked up at the knock at his door.
He expected a lot of things when he opened it, he realised as he pulled it open, but he didn’t expect the Princess to collapse into his arms and to begin gripping at his clothes, sobbing and crying and begging him to stay with her.
“Princess, Princess,” he soothed as he checked the hallway, pulling her in to shut and lock the door tight in a hurry. “Calm down, please. What’s wrong? As your bodyguard—”
“Run away with me Hajime!” She cried, and he stopped in place, staring down at her puffy, red eyes and the tears streaming down her blotchy cheeks. “Run away with me, and marry me…” she repeated quietly.
“We’ll change our names and marry and-and, I have some money saved… we can get our cottage and-and w-we can l-live there t-togeth-ther.” She continued, huffing out breaths of air and sobs as she cried. “We’ll g-grow o-old, and-and-and—”
“We can’t run away,” Iwaizumi told her firmly, although eh desperately wanted to agree. “We can’t.”
She looked up at him with wide eyes.
“I can’t marry him, Iwaizumi, I can’t but I have to… I have to…” She trailed off and lent fully on him, sobbing into his shirt. “I don’t want him… I don’t… I… I love you!”
In that moment, Iwaizumi felt as if his world had fallen apart and he was plummeting into a bottomless pit. What he was feeling was forbidden, something that could get him executed or relieved from service, and now she loved him as well, and it got so, so much worse.
“Y/N, you can’t- you can’t love me.” He protested firmly. “You’re desperate… you can’t.”
She drew back from him, staring at him with hurt eyes and new, fresh tears streaming own her cheeks. Pushing back from his chest to stumble closer to the door, yet not leaving.
“I can, and I do,” she said angrily, and Iwaizumi felt his heart clench. “I love you. I love you so much it hurts!”
“You can’t choose me!”
She glared at him furiously, stepping forward as her hands clenched at her sides.
“You think I chose you? I didn’t choose you. I took one look at your amazing hair and adorable laugh and beautiful smile and I knew I was going to fall in love with you.” Y/N pressed a hand to her chest, right above her hear and formed a claw, gripping at herself. “Every time you smile or laugh, I feel the ache and know I can never have you, because even though you are always by my side, you are so far away.
“I love you.”
Iwaizumi felt the ache in his chest and they stood opposite from each other, looking at each other and saying nothing — yet the silence was deafening, and the nothing meant everything.
In two strides Iwaizumi crossed the room to caress her face in his hands, pressing kisses to her forehead and nose and cheeks, brushing away her tears with his thumbs as she smiled so softly and closed her eyes; only opening them to look at him again before he dipped forward to catch her lips in a kiss she had waited years for.
His lips were warm against hers, and his skin was a map of a place she hadn’t discovered yet as she trailed her fingers up to rest on his arms, gripping him tightly. The other hand was lifted to press against his hand on her cheek as they kisses, keeping it there.
“Make me yours, Hajime,” she told him softly when he drew back, the words a promise on his lips. “Make me yours.”
Just for the night, hung in air around them, unspoken but heavy.
Iwaizumi only leant forward again to capture her lips. And he would, he promised himself. He would.
“ But, just because love is beautiful — does not mean that it is always happy. ”