might lead to something but might not

I was just randomly clicking through episodes and stumbled upon this scene and it’s actually quite underappreciated and very sweet

this obviously happens shortly after their stupid argument over the lost bag of nuts (rest in peace brave soldier) and it’s clear that they’re still a bit tense after that. But Yuuri makes an attempt to break the ice 

“What would you like for a gift?” can just as easily be translated to: “I’m not annoyed anymore and would like to put this behind us.” It’s a sweet peace offering, with Yuuri showing interest and care in something that he presumes is important to Viktor.

However

Viktor misinterprets what Yuuri is trying to say and, while answering truthfully, also accidentally dismiss the hand Yuuri reached out for him. It’s a good display of them facing a cultural gap, since Yuuri might have planned to get Viktor a gift in advance and Viktor shoots that wish down. It’s not on purpose! But, speaking from experience, sometimes cultural gaps cause misunderstandings between couples that might lead to hurt feelings

 As is also evidently displayed here; Yuuri tries to mend what was hurt in the previous scene, in his own way, and Viktor misunderstands and Yuuri is left feeling rejected and possibly anxious that Viktor is still mad at him

BUT THAT LEADS US TO THE MOST CRUCIAL MOMENT IN THIS SCENE

VIKTOR CLEARLY NOTICES THAT YUURI GETS HURT and immediately tries to make Yuuri feel better in a way that is just as sweet as Yuuri’s own

it’s a line of dialogue that is just as simple as Yuuri’s when he asks what Viktor wants as a gift. “Do you want some hot wine, too?” is basically Viktor reaching out to Yuuri and showing care for his well being and offering to share something of his own with him. It’s simple, it’s sweet and easily leads into the hilarious line about Yuuri not handling alcohol well, bUT IT’S JUST SO CUTE AND THOUGHTFUL

THIS SCENE IS SO GREAT BECAUSE EVEN AFTER AN ARGUMENT THEY TRY TO FIX WHAT WAS HURT BY SHOWING EACH OTHER CARE AND COMPASSION AND IT’S SOOOOO PURE THEY CARE SO MUCH ABOUT EACH OTHER AND THEIR RELATIONSHIP

Why people get trapped by Emotional Abusers & Why it’s not their fault

(these apply to platonic and romantic relationships)

1. Attachment

The Emotional Abuser gives you attention: they make you feel flattered, loved and important. You start to believe that they genuinely care about you. They might even think that they do by themselves since they internally justify all their doings. Normally this kind of attachment would lead to a healthy bonding and a closer relationship. With the Emotional Abuser it leads to some levels of addiction and dependency on the victim’s part which is never their fault. Emotional Abuser’s behaviour exploits normal emotional bonding to another human being.

2. Guilt

In some point in the relationship you notice that it’s all about their needs. The Abuser might do something that hurts your feelings and bringing it up leads them to reason why it’s actually your fault and why you have to take responsibility for it. They make up convincing excuses why it’s not their job to do it, why it’s absolutely unreasonable of you to ask for it and so on. In other words: they Guilt-trip you. The Emotional Abuser believes they have no responsibility for their behaviour or feelings. If they feel uncomfortable by something in the relationship they will manipulate you to take the blame instead of trying to work things out. Guilt-tripping makes the victim submit and erodes their sense of emotional and physical boundaries since they are made to believe it’s their job to cater on Abuser’s needs.

3. Cognitive dissonance

After the idealization pace the Emotional Abuser will move to a devaluing pace. Catering to their needs is not enough anymore and you feel you can’t do anything right no matter what you do. The pace starts when the Abuser feels you are getting emotionally too close and/or you are trying to hold them accountable for something they have done. Emotional Abusers are afraid of responsibility and in some cases intimacy so they will try to push you away. They use manipulation: Gaslighting and Guilt-tripping to force you into silence and to take all the responsibility for the relationship. They give you Silent Treatment which is justified by some clever excuses. Emotional Abusers believe they are entitled to absolute emotional comfort even when it means abusing other people.

Because you remember how well they used to treat you, your mind has a hard time accepting they are not the person you thought they were. In fact you might start to make excuses for them in your head because they have manipulated you to think nothing is their fault. It is extremely difficult to get away from the Abuser’s emotional trap because they take advantage of the victim’s emotional bonding to them and give false hope that the relationship could be “fixed”. You are misled into thinking that if you just learn not to be so “needy” and “selfish”, the Abuser will reward you with the loving behaviour they demonstrated in the beginning.

Aftermath

The Emotional Abuser has no intention to take responsibility for what their abusive behaviour has caused you because they have normalized and justified it in their head. Not all of the Abusers are so sure of themselves but need a lot of internal convincing and validation from others so that they can feel good about themselves which is their goal: not having to deal with responsibility or emotional labour. After all Emotional Abusers are not Disney villains but people who are so selfish that they lack of motivation to learn how to not hurt people.

There are two ways how the trap can break: the victim quits all contact with the Abuser or the Abuser leaves the victim. The latter one occurs if the Emotional Abuser feels they have to deal with too much because of the victim. The Abuser might feel threatened by the victim if the victim is making the Abuser feel bad about themself by calling out their abusive behaviour. The Emotional Abuser thinks that they are actually the victim in the relationship because the real Victim is making them feel bad and scared. The Abuser is genuinely afraid that they would have to deal with negative emotions that taking responsibility would require.

In the end the Emotional Abuser ends the relationship with some dramatic note in which they project all their feelings into the victim: you are the abuser, you have harmed them, you have threatened them. This is their way of securing their own emotional well-being as they refuse to acknowledge the reality. Just remember that it was NOT your fault and you are not responsible for their horrible behaviour. While mutually harmful and violent relationships can exist abusive relationships are based on a power imbalance and therefore there is no such a thing as “mutually abusive”. You are nothing like your abuser.

on the new Iron Fist series

So after binge watching a ton of Marvel’s new Iron Fist series, I went onto tumblr, wondering what the fandom was up to now, what with all these new gifs and stuff to make. ‘Maybe I would find some fan art or something’ I thought innocently to myself,

BUT BOY WAS I WRONG

instead, I was greeted with SO MUCH DISCOURSE on how Iron Fist ‘needs a chinese-american actor’ or ‘has terrible dialogue and is slow’.

the best part is when I found out that some of y’all are trying to get this show boycotted like ‘????’

Now as a Chinese-speaking Asian female, living in Asia, with an Asian background and a good know-how of Chinese history, as well as a decent knowledge of comic books, (although I confess I got into the animated series first) I’m here to end the discussion before y’all get your full rage on and start fighting fans of the show like it’s Lord of the Flies up in here

So keep reading if you want to be educated or if you just want to fight me before you know what you’re even talking about

“THE SHOW INSULTS CHINESE CULTURE”

Uhhhh…no? I’ve seen a few episodes and I mean so far there isn’t really anything that screams ‘insult’ or even offensive in the slightest. Besides maybe the fact that they take the beliefs and twist them a little bit but honestly even that ain’t that bad as to what I’ve seen elsewhere.

I’ve read the boycott post and let me say that yea, they dressed him with an eye for Asian elements, but maybe that’s because it’s supposed to be resembling Asian clothing? I mean how is that offensive? Is it the part that it looks Asian? Or that you simply feel that white people that direct these shows should not be using Asian stuff for entertainment? Because I hate to break it to you but it’s still not offensive. Even the dragon tattoo is totally fine because it’s supposed to resemble Asian elements yea but also have y’all read the comics? Because he punched through a dragon and basically took it’s heart. So I mean a dragon tattoo kinda matches the theme.

I mean in the first episode they speak almost flawless Chinese for Pete’s sake! Hell, I was surprised that they even had it in them to have a non-Google translated line. Sure the accent was a little overdoing it cuz not even I have that thick a Chinese accent but I’ll excuse it since he was apparently learning and speaking 15 years. (I speak it maybe a few times a day for like the last 14 years or so only)

So no, the show doesn’t really insult Chinese culture, sure they might be ignorant, but you must understand that after generations of stereotypes and misconceptions that that can’t just go away with one show

“Danny Rand should be played by an Asian guy/be a Chinese-American”

I can’t even begin to tell you my frustration about this.

Y’all do know this show is based on the comics right?

You know, the one with the white guy.

I know Marvel is infamous for not including enough representation in their shows but seriously? This is like the Harry Potter thing all over again with Hermione being black, it’s not that we don’t want representation or anything, but it’s the fact that this hero that us comic fans have come to already love has been replaced. Or at least it feels like it. Like when a movie is made from a book and people go crazy because character XYZ suddenly has different traits or isn’t quite what was described as compared to the book.

Frankly, it sucks.

So even though yes, Marvel should have more Asians in their shows, don’t expect them to completely give the main character a makeover, even if the makeover was supposed to provide representation. And honestly? I don’t want them to change him because I really freaking love Iron Fist, just as he is.

“This show just villainizes Asians”

So you tell me that my race is being made villains because Marvel decided that most of their Asians on their shows are evil ninjas (aka the Hand) and at most there are like 3 sorta good Asians. Oh and I’m sorry, you want more Asian men that are good guys? You want a balance of Asian heroes?

Well I guess that would be kind of hard to fit into the story since, oh, I don’t know, everything happens in the USA?

If you want more Asian characters well then look no further because you do have them. Daisy Johnson from Agents of Shield? What about her extremely brave mom? Or maybe Colleen in Iron Fist? Everyone seems to be blatantly ignoring her badassery and only seeing the part where she’s a sorta love interest.

Facts are, there are Asian characters, you’re really just looking hard enough. I agree wholeheartedly when you say that more Asian men need to be in the Marvel universe that aren’t part of the bad guy team but you gotta say that they are still awesome.

Does anyone even remember the Japanese ninja yakuza guy from Daredevil? Dude got set on fire and STILL came back to kick ass. That’s a plus in my book because even though he’s considered bad, he’s been proven to be cunning, smart, and overall awesome.

“The show has terrible stunts/acting/dialogue/fight scenes”

From here on out it’s mostly just me trying to explain why the directors and writers of the show made decisions in the show to make it what it is, so let’s dive right into it.

  • STUNTS

Actually the stunts weren’t half-bad. If you’ve seen other shows or movies that are heavily reliant on stunts and action, and compare it to this show, they really aren’t that much different. Sure it might seem a little unbelievable sometimes like they’re breaking physics or something, but he already has a glowing fist. I think we’ve crossed the line of believable long ago.

  • ACTING

I have nothing to say about this except that go and take some acting or drama classes before coming and criticizing these awesome men and women who did indeed try their best

  • DIALOGUE

Now I get the dialogue might be a little weird at times and what not, but you must understand that this show was partially written with the Defenders series in mind. So almost everything that was said in the show is meant to lead to something more. Thus, you must take it as a bigger picture. Sorta like how everyone said that Fantastic Beast and Where to Find Them wasn’t as good as they thought it would be, that movie was also meant to lead on to a bigger story so you might want to excuse the weird speech and cryptic lines at times.

  • FIGHT SCENES & ACTION

Okay seriously people, please read the comics. Danny Rand is supposed to be an accidental hero, one that doesn’t want to fight unless he really has zero choice in the matter. So yea, the fight scenes won’t be that interesting, but only because the character in question is more interested in ending the fight than anything.

~

So there you have it, my whole slightly angry info-dump on Iron Fist and Marvel’s representation problem in general. If you want to correct me or scold me even then by all means message me or shoot me an ask. But just keep in mind that Marvel can’t make all your problems go away in one show, and please for the love of all that is good read the comics before coming to rant okay?

look, I’m not saying that there’s a connection between Eclipsa and Toffee and that we’re eventually going to learn something more about it, but he had spades on his shoulderpads

And he’s called Toffee, and the show itself points out how weird that is

And the very first thing we got to know about Eclipsa is that she likes sweets

And she had a spell to damage immortals ready at hand, as if she had experience with Septarians (admittedly more immortal species could exist)

And her face and Toffee’s flashed together in Into The Wand as soon as Star touched his finger

And Heinous is Eclipsa’s daughter, and she seems to be very attached to Rasticore, another Septarian

So I’m not saying that Meteora/Heinous might have met Toffee when she was young, thus fondly remembering lizard people, and that Eclipsa and Toffee might be connected in some way that could range from “adopted orphan” to who knows what, but I’m saying it.

We’ve been all saying it for months but it sounds more plausible than ever right now.

EDIT: forgot about this! Toffee (from the wand) was the one who lead Ludo to the Monster Sanctuary, and we now know that’s connected to Eclipsa and Heinous, and might also have something even bigger going on.

✧ *.🎃Samhain Solitary Rituals🎃*✧

As the air grows cooler and the winds begin to howl and rip the dead leaves from trees, we know the veil is thin and Samhain is near! After the equinox, which was equal parts night and day, Samhain marks the time of the wheel that we descend into the darker half of the year. It’s this time of the year that communication and connection to the spirit world is a lot easier and we’ve grown accustomed to making wards to protect the home from malevolent energy in the form of jack o lanterns and lights. On a positive note it is a time to leave out treats and foods for passed away loved ones and to remember them. It’s the final harvest full of well spiced comfort autumn foods as well as a ‘New Year’ since it’s a sabbat that honors the natural cycle of death and sees it as a form of transformation.

A lot of us witches practice alone and have our own solitary rituals for each sabbat that we observe (or the ones we’ve created just for ourselves that we observe alone!) Like any solitary eclectic witch I do things my own different way but some of these things might line up with others practices. I do refer to some of the equinoxes/solstices/crossquarters by their celtic sabbat names but I celebrate them in a secular animist way and treat the wheel of the year I celebrate as more of an argrarian cycle and celebrating nature. I use sabbat names as a point of reference and also people that do celebrate these witches sabbats more traditionally might find value in my personal practice!  Here is my personal correspondences post and my personal samhain tag!

When I am alone and casting spells a lot of it is visualization/intent so my solitary rituals are more like activities I like to do then specifically casting a spell. If I am doing a spell with an activity based on it a lot would be listening to music to get in the mood and focusing on a candle while visualizing for a period of time! Eves are also important to my celebration as I like to stay up until midnight and cast a spell then!


Hallow’s Eve

Tuesday October 31st 2017

  • Dressing up in your most witchiest
    Ok every year I’m a witch, whether it’s just a lazy witch in my black clothing or an over the top kitschy witch with colorful hair and electric colored make up, but I just like to have these looks casually on Halloween day cause its amazing and a chance for me to be myself!

  • Pumpkin Carving!
    If you haven’t already tonight is definitely the night for pumpkin carving! Write sigils inside your pumpkin for protective magic. I love this DIY for a pumpkin indoor lantern cause it shows how to rub spices like cinnamon and nutmeg inside to achieve that sent of pumpkin pie in the home. Use electric candles instead of flame if you want it to last the night since the flame’s heat will cook the pumpkin.

  • Mini Pumpkin Tea lights
    Also an easier alternative to carving if you don’t have much time. Even gutting the mini pumpkins takes a lot of time for me but doing so and filling them with a black tea light will make an excellent centerpiece either for your altar or feast table!

  • Making Candy Apples
    I associate candy coated sweet red apples with halloween (and caramel/maple sugar on granny smith for mabon) and I love how you can make the candy various colors like a poisonous black or vibrant blood red!

  • Setting sweets aside for spirits
    So everyone has spirits that chill with them and it would be great to show appreciation for the positive spirits that surround you. Set some sweets on a dish and make a tiny altar for them in your space.

  • Enjoying sweets while doing crafts!
    Enjoy some of that halloween candy for yourself! My favorite treats on this night are chocolate coated donuts, reeses cups, cider sugar donuts, red licorice and apple cider.

  • Watching a spooky or Halloween themed movie
    Or halloween themed film. My favorite will always be the 80s halloween special The Worst Witch with Tim curry. I watch it religiously.

  • Spirit Contact
    I wouldn’t suggest using an Ouija board or doing any communication with spirits if you have never had experience. They can be rude and harass you, YET if you are experienced and know how to guard yourself, then this is a great night to play with an ouija board! (PS I think Ouija Girl has a great informative blog about working with ouija boards. Here is her FAQ page. But still, it’s always better to do work with a medium or someone with experience than trying to figure it out alone).

    A safer experience for someone with no spirit communication experience is attending a seance! In NYC there are a few mediums that hold seances monthly. I love the one at Catland in Brooklyn, the mediums that host the event there are fantastic. It might be hard to attend an authentic one on Halloween night since a lot of people will want to just try to cash in on creating a 'spooky’ experience, but if you really want, try to get in contact with mediums and ask if they host any seance events. Important to know: usually the spirits that chill around you are guides and family and they might have more info to give you then you might be ready for. My first seance I really don’t know what to do with the info given to me but I really hope I make the best of it and don’t mess anything up.

  • Witches Flight
    This is like an extension of the previous point where if you have never done this before just completely disregard this suggestion cause flying is dangerous. For many years witches have flown on Halloween night to other realms using flying ointments.

  • Protective Magic:
    Finally, protect yourself from the high spirit activity with crystals like black tourmaline, obsidian and spirit quartz. Do protective spells for any cats you see or live with especially black cats since they tend to be targets.
      

Midnight Spell:

  • This sabbat honors the natural cycle of death and transformation. Focus on what you want to transform in your life. Magic on this night is very powerful so think about it before hand and make sure it is what you want for if you ask to transform something, you might find a lot of endings that suddenly occur in your life to lead to the transformations that you want. (There was a conversation on here I can no longer find but it was put  really nicely that death is not just some simple 'transformative’ process it can be very drastic, often very uncomfortable and if you are not ready though you ask for something to change, you might not be ready for the new obstacles that will be thrown at you. Just know that you will be ready for what you ask for.)
  • Some spell activities can be shuffling the deck visualizing what you want to change and then finding the death card and seeing the card that follows will be your answer to seek how you can further bring that transformation closer.
  • I’m a mixologist and enjoy working with liquor for rituals. I find fire to be a great transformer yet instead of burning something I prefer blessing a shot of whiskey or absinthe with my intent then taking it like liquid fire to transform me within. If you do not like alcohol or can not drink it for whatever reason you can perform this with hot apple cider instead!



Samhain Day

Wednesday, November 1st 2017

  • Upon the day I like to dress in complete black. My makeup is very dark and I wear long black dresses and veils. Depending on how you want to honor the dead, dress how you wish.

  • Gravesweeping
    Visit your loved ones on this day and leave flowers and gifts on their grave! If you want you can also visit any cemetery, yet make sure to practice good graveyard etiquette. Leave a penny by the gate, do not sit or lean on any tomb stones, of course don’t take anything from a grave. Be respectful of those whom are resting.

  • Close Your Garden
    This is a time to close the garden for the winter to come. Harvest the last fruits and herbs and bring in any delicate potted plants within the home.

  • Shadow Work
    Especially if you are looking to transform some aspect of your life this is a great time to do shadow work and look within if you are creating any obstacles for yourself. Get to know your shadow self, get to solve problems together. This is also an excellent day for divination and scrying.

  • Meditation and Energy Work by the base of a tree
    I love to do energy work on the days of the sabbats yet as the earth grows colder, the roots dig deeper and the world goes into hibernation. Sit at the base of a tree preferably with thick roots and feel it’s connection to the cold earth beneath you. Dig into yourself and see what needs to rest and what needs to be healed.

Evening
Celebratory Feast

  • So in many practices people like to host a dumb supper but instead I like to have a lively feast where everyone will share a story about someone they loved that passed away or a story of an ancestor in their family. At the end of each tale we toast our glasses to them! (And pour a little bit of drink to them or set aside a snack if they are not into alcohol.)

  • Hold a feast of rich comfort foods that are spiced and sweet like sweet potato mash, candied brown beans, pumpkin bread, smokey bourbon pulled pork or maple glazed beef brisket, roasted carrots and beets and (I personally love to make baked mac and cheese but its a fall comfort soul food for me). My Samhain feast is abundant with fall soul foods and sweet roots and spices. (here is a fantasy feast post and my personal feast post from last year)

  • If you are alone (as this is a solitary post), make a few fall dishes you deeply enjoy or cook the favorites of loved relatives that have passed away, eat some sweets and set out some offerings to passed away loved ones.

I laugh at “shiro wanting to die” jokes as much as the next person but in all seriousness I don’t think there’s a character in this show who fights to live more than he does 

Translating is hard work. Even with pretty simple translations there can be unexpected difficulties if one of the languages has some funny special rules that apply to everyday life like honorifics and proper address, or words with multiple meanings so instead of asking what time it is you’ll end up asking for a potato. A professional translator can deal with this, of course. But for someone who just knows two pretty different languages, translating even something simple suddenly takes time and ends up getting pretty confusing for everyone involved.

And that leads us to ALIENS!

I think we’ve all read one scifi story or another where an alien is explaining some kind of concept that their species has - it might be related to their Special Sense or something else, but they always conveniently manage to put it in words that the character (and the reader) understand. This makes sense from a storytelling viewpoint, because we’re telling the story to human readers/listeners/viewers who need to understand what’s going on and why.

But it might be fun if the character is teamed up with an alien who gets so confused and/or worked up about some trivial translation that it gets turned into this big whole mysterious deal.

Human: “So, what’s this word mean, ‘thnguwe’?”

Alien: “Thnguwe has… special meaning for our people. It refers to a person’s ability to… form a meaningful connection with another of our kind, and our… entire society is built according to the… concept of thnguwe.”

Human: “How profound! Your civilization has much to teach us!”

Alien #2: “It means ‘talking’. Thnguwe means talking.”

Alien #1: “Oh, talking! I forgot what that word was in human language!”

More KatsuDeku Thoughts/Ramblings

The other day I was seeing a lot of people complaining about hate in both the ‘Katsudeku’ and ‘Bakudeku’ tags, but to be honest, I didn’t see it. I suppose I must have the right people blocked.

But, it did get me thinking about things that people love to bring up when discussing the “p r o b l e m a t i c” elements of this ship. Two big ones in particular come to mind.

One has already been discussed to death, and I hope to jeezus I never have to talk about it myself. Yes, Bakugo told Deku to jump off a building. It’s horrible and despicable and I would never defend such awful behavior. It was simple shorthand for Horikoshi to establish Bakugo as an unremorseful jerk. Congrats, dude. It worked.

The second thing, however, is something I could talk about at length.

So I will.

Let’s talk about THIS.

Warning: this is a goddamn long post. Pour yourself a drink.

Keep reading

Over Planning = Procrastination

I am making this post based on a request by an anonymous user, but as soon as I heard the idea it really resonated with me. When you are a perfectionist, like I am, procrastination comes very easily. As soon as I have a single doubt about what I am doing, I stop and turn to something else, which leads to a lot of unfinished assignments and unnecessary stress. So in this post, I’m going to give you my best advice on how to avoid this very thing and get back to work! 

Methods of Planning

You  need to start by addressing how you are organizing you time and if it needs to change. 

  1. Daily study schedule: This is my least favourite, and in my opinion leads to the worst kind of overplanning. This is when you schedule out your time hour by hour, down to what time you will study, eat, workout, etc. I understand that this works for some people and if you find yourself to be very disorganized, it can work for you. However, I personally find (and I think many would agree) that it ends up giving me anxiety and guilt when I don’t do something exactly at the right time. 
  2. Weekly or monthly schedule: This is ideal for people who like to plan ahead a lot, but don’t want to be too constricted to an hourly schedule. This method involves writing down what you need to study each day, but not declaring a specific time that you need to have it done by. I really like to use this for exam periods or before a big test, so I know that all the topics are covered by a certain point. 
  3. Daily to-do list schedule: This works for a ton of people I know, including myself. It is low-key, but also allows you to know what you have to do and actually get it done. This is what most people use in a bullet journal, which is obviously a very successful technique! It blends together the planning of the daily schedule with the fluidity and low-stress of the monthly schedule. I highly recommend this if you tend to overplan! 

Overall: You might need to re-evaluate the way that you organize your time and find something that is more productive. My personal favourite is the daily to-do list, but if you need more structure in your life, feel free to look at others. 

Dividing Tasks

One big thing that leads to procrastination is not being able to focus on the most important tasks that need to get done. If you put too much stuff on your to-do list or into your hourly schedule, it might actually end up taking away from more important tasks. 

Learn to prioritize. List tasks in order of their importance when you are creating a to-do list or other type of schedule. You can use a numbering system, or colour code them if you need more help:

  1. Red = Extremely important: Things that are due in the next day or two, studying for upcoming tests, steps in a process that needs to get done by the end of the week, bills that need to be paid, chores that have to get done before your home becomes a wreck. 
  2. Yellow = Pretty important: Things that are important to your schedule, but it wouldn’t be tragic if they got pushed off one more day. Re-writing or typing notes, writing out flashcards for a test a week away, working on an application or deadline that is still a while away, chores that aren’t going to affect you if they aren’t finished tonight. 
  3. Green = Filler stuff: Things that would be nice to get done, but aren’t urgent. Cleaning, organizing your desk, finishing a book or movie for pleasure, etc. 

Avoid Procrastination

After you have organized yourself and prioritized tasks, you need to be able to focus on actually getting them done. 

  1. Set firm deadlines. A lot of times, this is easy because teachers or bosses set them for you. But if they don’t, learn to set your own deadlines and stick to them. Write them in your calendar and make note of them in the days leading up to it. 
  2. Make mini to-do lists for an assignment. If you have trouble following deadlines, or value to-do lists as much as me, breaking down assignments and large tasks into small pieces can be super beneficial. For example, if you have an essay due, create a checklist with the intro, body paragraphs, conclusion, editing, typing, and final draft all as separate tasks. 
  3. Find ideal study setting. A lot of people have trouble focusing on tasks when they get distracted easily. I find it really helpful if I’m in an environment that gets me in a studying mood! Going to the library or a quiet coffee shop really motivates me. Finding somewhere with few distractions, limitations on how much noise you can make, and being able to see other people being productive is the ideal way to focus yourself. 
  4. Avoid social media and TV. This goes hand in hand with #3… Being in front of the TV or the computer (when you aren’t actually using it) is super distracting! Go somewhere that doesn’t have these distractions. 
  5. Start with small tasks. Sometimes, tackling your to-do list is easier if you start by completing a few small tasks. When I’m not in the mood to study, I try to do some household chores and update my bullet journal to get the ball rolling.  
  6. Use the Pomodoro technique, or something similar. Use a Pomodoro timer or another type of scheduling to stay focused when studying and take breaks when needed. If you find that breaking it down minute by minute is too stressful, try setting goals like “as soon as I am done studying this chapter, I will get up and make a snack,” and stick to them! 
Staring is Rude (Jaehyun x Reader)

Rating: M

(A/N) WAZZZZZUPPPP GUYS! Your gal is back at it again with that smutty smut and with her ultimate bias too! That’s right, more yummy Jaehyun for everyone, and this time it’s a college AU. Hope you like this one, I really had a blast writing it!

P.S. ISN’T THIS THE PERFECT GIF FOR THIS STORY??? WHEN U FINISH READING TELL ME IT’S NOT LIKE???

Originally posted by nctuhohahyes

It all started at the end of the first semester of your sophomore year in college. The glances that were snuck from the corner of the eye, watching from your peripheral vision each other’s movements, the strategic sitting for the best view. It was innocent at first, just simply checking one another out due to curiosity. You barely knew him at all; knew that his name was Jung Jaehyun and he was a first semester junior majoring in music and fine arts with many obnoxiously talented friends. 

Keep reading

POPTEEN Magazine, September: Kyungsoo interview

Q0. I thought it could be realistic, that Hwandong and his ex-girlfriend, Hyejeong, can’t be honest even as they worry about each other. What did you think of the two’s relationship?

I thought it was enviable (laughs). Because even if they fight verbally whenever they see each other, they respect and think of each other deep down. It’s an ideal relationship, and I think to have a partner like that would be something wonderful.

Q1. What do you have and don’t have in common with Hwandong?

Maybe what we have in common is that we’re optimistic and have hardworking personalities. I also have a clear idea of my goals and try hard for the sake of achieving them. But our dating lives might differ. Hwandong doesn’t tell everything to the person he likes even when he has something to say, but I hope to do everything I can to avoid regret with my partner (laughs).

Q2. What advice do you want to give to teens for achieving their dreams?

It usually isn’t feasible to achieve your goal or dream in one step. Fulfilling a dream is a process, and I don’t think it can be had without each and every necessary experience along the way. So when you’re in your teens, you can’t look away from what you should do just because you don’t like the work (laughs). Even if you’re thinking “I hate this,” won’t you find strength in thinking of it as a step to what you personally want? I’ve managed to fulfill one of my dreams too, and now I’m trying on a new one.

Q3. What were you like as a teenager?

I was a really ordinary high school student. My student life was typical, playing around with close friends. Though that’s when I started to like music and to put in the effort to become an entertainer who would get to sing and act in the future.

Q4. Your ideal woman?

My ideal person stays as someone with a pretty smile. Just like how there are people with cool ear-to-ear grins, there are people with small, cute smiles. I’d love if someone I had feelings for liked to smile (laughs).

Q5. Something fun about being an actor?

That I can experience what I otherwise wouldn’t have. That’s a good part of an acting career. It also does make me glad to see others touched by or relate to my roles.

Q6. Word is you’re good at cooking. What can one do to become good at it?

Although it’s important to practice making dishes, it might be helpful to make them after getting to know the specific flavors of ingredients and seasonings. If you do that, you’d have a rough idea of what flavor mixing ingredients together might lead to. I’m doing my own research and refer a lot to recipes on the Internet to figure out how to create tastier dishes!

Q7. What are you good at making?

Steak and doenjangjjigae. When there’s opportunity to, I’d like to study traditional Japanese dishes as well.

Q8. A Korean dish you recommend?

Cheonggukjang-jjigae. It has a scent similar to natto, although it’s stronger and might be polarizing. But I like it (laughs). It’s very delicious!

Q9. What food did you find tasty while in Japan?

Ochazuke, monjayaki, nukazuke. I really like natto as well. Tonkatsu ramen is good too but Korean cuisine has a lot of strong flavors already, so I lean to lighter flavors with Japanese cuisine!

Q10. A message for Popteen readers!

Enjoy your summer vacation! And if you have a dream or goal for the future, try hard for its sake. I’m cheering for you too!

jpn to kor: @DYOBONBON 1, 2 | kor to eng: fydk

Allure Korea July 2017 | Lee Jinki

(T/N: Please note that there might be something lost / errors in the translation. Thank you and enjoy!)

Q: This is your last night in Maldives. What are the most memorable things?
Onew:
First is playing outside. The nature is very very beautiful. Thanks to the villa I’m staying in I could see the ocean just by sitting leisurely, and I also could see it just by opening the curtain. In the morning or at night, my mind got calm when I saw the ocean from my villa. Next is doing sea activities. I didn’t know I could see a turtle this close!

Q: The villa is nice, right? Although the wind sound is a bit loud sometimes due to monsoon.
Onew:
I saw stingray come and go. The water level changes every hour. I get to know how deep is the water.

Q: What’s a good point of Minho as your travel buddy?
Onew:
As you see, Minho is always full of energy. I don’t know what I should do so I can’t decide. But Minho organizes the things that he wants to do. Minho’s good point, but also a weak point is that he has too much energy. (laughs)

Q: What did you put inside your suitcase?
Onew:
I brought four white t-shirts. I always leave some space.

Q: You’re still touring right? What concert is it?
Onew:
It’s overseas concert and we want to show it in high
quality just like what we did in Korea.

Q: You’re a concert veteran now, right? Are you still nervous when coming on the stage?
Onew:
No matter how many times I’ve experienced it, I’m always concerned about maintaining my stamina. However, I always fail at the first show. There is a moment where I burst out my energy explosively that I become so exhausted. Different situations also occur when I do the same performance several times, but I overcome them all as I exchange gaze with the members.

Q: Do you understand each other only by looking at their eyes now?
Onew:
Not everything, but I think Minho kind of knows. (laughs)

Q: Yesterday was your 9th debut anniversary right? How was the past 9 years?
Onew:
It’s short if it’s short, and it’s long if it’s long… I think the strongest point of a team is that it continues to exist. Our affection grows as we undergo things together over time.

Q: How have the members grown up?
Onew:
I think everyone has grown up into a good direction. As each of us are trying to find ourselves, individually, our area of capabilities have gradually become bigger. We gain synergy because of that.

Q: It seems that you care about the other members more because you’re the oldest?
Onew:
I just listen to them when they tell me something. I also whine a lot. Since we’ve been together for over 10 years, there are days when they are like the hyung, and there are also days when I’m like the hyung.

Q: When is the time when you feel it’s nice to have done this career for 9 years?
Onew:
Because we’re no longer rookies, it’s nice that we’re able to match each other.

Q: Is ‘A team that is always trustworthy’ a thing that comes across your mind when you think of SHINee? They’re like perfectionist at their performances and songs.
Onew:
Haha! When I’m working hard on a performance there are times when I don’t think much about it when it’s near the last stage.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

hi viria i have a problem im dealing with right now ;; in my fandom genderswaps/bends are growing ever more popular and more and more big art/fic creators are accepting and supporting them. as someone trans i've been trying to educate people on how harmful it is, but as more & more 'big' or 'popular' accounts publicly enjoy them, its harder & harder to have an audience that will listen. i used to enjoy genderswaps myself but now ive come to see how truly harmful they are. i want to keep (1/6)

trying to educate ppl but soon it will be near impossible to convey my message as almost a whole of my fandom will just come to accept them and love them so much they wont listen ;; do you have any words to say from your perspective as an artist or from any other standpoint? even just a small word would mean so much, this trend is growing more and more rapidly and stronger every time a fic or piece of art supporting it is produced ;; (2/6) 

i come to you asking such a thing because there are fewer and fewer people that share the same belief as me that it is bad. the argument defending it seems very convincing to many. some trans/qenderqueer/nonbinary people find it enjoyable and comforting but those that are on the opposite spectrum - ppl like me who feel dysphoric and invalidated by it - are in the end told to deal with it and let ppl write/draw what they want and just avoid it since its a comfort to some. another argument (3/6)

is of artistic liscense: you should be able to make whatever you want and this is strengthened by the fact doing so comforts some trans/gq people. but i feel forgotten. do the people that are hurt by it not matter? i feel ashamed now when i try to put out my msg. but i just want to feel a little more normal within my fandomspace. i want to feel like i exist. yet hardly anyone will listen. it’s not longer something i and my friends can avoid and never really was, because it is harmful and (4/6) 

we have a right to speak out against harmful things, yes? i am finding it harder and harder to believe it. i really just yearn to feel normal as the people that are consoled by genderswapping feel normal. i feel i should mention i do remember when you made genderswap art and were educated and apologized, i have gone through the same process myself. i hope i am not bringing up bad memories and apologize if i happen to ;; please, if you could give just a few words yourself it (5/6)   

—————————————————————————————

Hello! I’m sorry, I think my askbox managed to eat the last part of your message, so it’s not entirely full! But I feel like I get enough information from these parts nonetheless. 

First of all, please, please, try to not let any strangers on the internet make you feel abnormal. I feel like it must be very hard to be put in such a space, but as much as you can, please focus on the people who DO share your opinion on this. As much as it might not look like it, I am sure many people (even out of those who still do genderswaps) mean no harm, don’t yet know how hurtful it is for some other people and WILL listen to you!

I remember when people educated me over this, there were so many who thought that…how to put it. That I think very very bad of transgender people, while I, at that point, didn’t really know much about this issue. When it doesn’t happen to you, it’s not always the thing that crosses your mind. I feel like people who explain why and how this is wrong to artists, especially with their point of view, do help to fuel a thought in someone’s mind, offer them to think about it if they didn’t have the option before.

I try to be hopeful for people, I want to think that even if genderswaps are popular, there are still many empathic people who will listen to you, and who will understand how you feel.

For many it comes to a choice: whether they enjoy genderswaps enough to still draw it when they know how much it upsets some people. It was very fun to draw, but I don’t want to be the cause of someone’s distress by doing it. So… I want to think many people might share my choice. 

I’d say…if you choose to explain your point of view to people who still do genderswaps, try to not make bashing someone the first thing you write them. It might cause anger and defense, and it might not lead anywhere. Back then I was “educated” in a way that made me cry my eyes out, but it’s not something everyone will be willing to go through. For me, it wasn’t people who yelled at me what a piece of crap I was, but people who really explained what they felt that made me think on this topic more. Keep in mind that there still might be people who don’t yet know your point of view. What they see - is the pictures on the internet, people do them, so they assume it’s okay. You don’t usually think “Hm, what can possibly be wrong with this picture?” about drawings you see on the internet. 

As for your safe place, I think you have already done that, block all the genderswap tags to try to avoid on your dashboard. Even if there are people who stop doing them, there will most likely still be people who just started, simply because there are so so many. You don’t want to stress out because of something the stranger did from the other side of the globe.

I’m sorry if this is zero help, I know there is no way to change everyone’s opinion or to inform everyone, but please, don’t lose yourself with this. You are you and you are important, what you feel is absolutely legit and valid, remember it!

Originally posted by idolos-frases

A Complete Guide on How To Lucid Dream

Here’s my step by step complete guide on how to lucid dream. The most effective way to lucid dream (based on my research and personal experience) which may give you a lucid dream tonight!

This will be a combination of some already known lucid dreaming techniques which are WILD,WBTB,MILD, and FILD. Look it up on Google. 

1. Want it.

Yep. Power of the mind. You have to really want it and intend to do it. Try reading a lot about lucid dreaming during the day before you go to sleep at night. Tell yourself that lucid dreaming is easy,everyone can do it, and that you will lucid dream tonight. “Tonight I’m gonna realize I’m in my dream and I will control it.” or something like that. 

2. Go to sleep

Just go to sleep normally. Don’t attempt to induce lucid dream straightaway, it might lead to insomnia. Mind that you might have to have a good sleeping pattern first.

3. Wake up 2 hours before your normal wake up time

Set your alarm clock. If you usually wake up at 6 am, set the alarm at 4 am. I found that 4 am is best for me (after going to bed at 9.30 pm that night)

4. Stay up for 30 minutes

Try not to look at your phone or laptop screen. Sometimes I don’t know what to do to spend those 30 minutes either. Drink a glass of water, go to the toilet, I don’t know, anything to keep you from falling back to sleep. 

5. Go back to sleep

Now you can do this in 2 ways.

-> The first is just to simply go back to sleep.

-> The second is to induce lucid dream using WILD technique. We’re going to trick our body to think that we’re asleep eventhough our mind is actually still awake.

Go to bed and lie down on your back. Arms on your sides and feet not touching each other. Don’t move. Don’t scratch (unless it’s unbearable, go on and go back to position), don’t swallow (there’ll be an illusion of a building saliva and that you should swallow it, try not to. Swallowing will tell your body that you’re still awake. However, it’s not that prohibited. I found that swallowing is kind of alright. The key is to let it pass and not to concentrate on it.).

Sometimes it’s hard staying awake, because you may not think too much but may not fall asleep as well. If random thoughts pop up, just “look” at it but don’t interact with it. To stay awake, I usually do FILD (Finger Induced Lucid Dream) by imagining movements of my middle fingers and then my index fingers, like playing two keys on a piano. Middle finger pressing on the bed; middle finger lift. Index finger press; index finger lift, and so on.

Then these will happen:

1. You will enter sleep paralysis. In which you can’t move your body but you’re still awake. Breathing gets heavier. Some people found this scary which I don’t understand. So I suggest you to think positive and to know that sleep paralysis is normal and it happens every night. Your body does it to prevent you from moving and injuring yourself during sleep.

2. You will hear hallucinatory sounds. I usually hear music or birds tweeting. Mind that these sounds will be very very real, vivid, and sometimes loud.

3. You will enter the hypnagogic state. You’ll see colours and shapes through closed eyelids. Just watch it but don’t interact with it. 

And there’s a missing link in which I assume I simply let myself fall asleep altogether. 

6. You will enter the lucid dream

There are 2 ways : 

1. Out Of Body Experience

In which you wake up in your bed, do a reality check (pinch your nose and try breathing through it, if you can breathe means you’re in a dream). Yep you’re in a lucid dream now. I usually go and fly from my balcony after the reality check. 

2. Visualization

You’ll see shadows which will become more and more vivid, turning into a whole dream scene. Yep you’re in a lucid dream now.

6. Explore

Enjoy. Try to control your dream using the power of your mind. 

Some tips to stabilize your lucid dream when it’s fading:

- Rub your hands together

- Spin around

- Touch things, from your shirt to anything around you. 

Updates:

1. If All Else Fails

If you have tried everything above but keep failing,try this way that works for me all the time. So, after you wake up naturally, go to the toilet etc. Then go back to sleep and attempt to do WILD (Wake Induced Lucid Dreaming). You must be in a comfortable state and (as much as you can) not hearing noises from outside. And while usually you try to concentrate on staying awake, this time try to concentrate on falling asleep. Fall asleep conciously. 

2. The (Not) Scary Part

So I recently found why some people are scared during sleep paralysis. I once saw a giant metal creature like the combustion villain in the movie Thor. And I once experienced feeling dragged down by vines during sleep paralysis. Now the key, is to stay positive. Everytime you feel or see anything disturbing or scary during sleep paralysis, calmly tell yourself that it’s all not real. Relax and say in your heart, “Pfft, this isn’t real. Stop it. Imagine beautiful flowers and focus on other things. Peaceful thoughts.” using a badass tone as if you don’t care. It’s all in your head so keep a positive attitude. Don’t panic and take control.

3. How To Resume

Sometimes while you’re in the middle of the dream it just fades to black. The easiest way to resume it is to stay in position and imagine the last scene/view before the blackout. Usually the scene will emerge from the darkness and poof you’re back.

4. Tips & Tricks

I found that it’s easier to induce LD during naptime. Or when you’re taking a nap while being sleep deprived.


I wrote about eating in a lucid dream here

That’s all from me. Have a nice dream. 

likeapaperplane  asked:

39, 56 or 59 please? :)

56) things you said in the spur of the moment

“I want to skate with you.”

It takes Victor a second to compose himself. His heart still thuds in his chest and his entire body tingles from the kissing he’d been doing for the past however-long, lips bruised and fingers tangled in his hair, gripping it tight. It takes him a second to slow, to open his confused, deer-in-headlight eyes and realize that Yuuri is speaking, not kissing.

(Speaking, not kissing.)

(He isn’t mentally prepared for this. Not really.)

But Yuuri is focused, his mind seemingly crystal-clear. There’s a fiery determination in his eyes. “My exhibition. Skate with me.”

Victor makes a noise, but he’s not sure if it qualifies as a word.

(Of course, he’s currently busy watching the way Yuuri’s lips glisten, the way that his hair is disheveled from Victor’s hands—Victor’s hands—and the way that his skin seems to glow.)

“Would you?” he asks, a bit quieter this time. “Would you want to?”

He blinks, realizing that Yuuri had been taking his silence as a negative reaction. Victor clears his throat, but it doesn’t help much. “Skate with you for your exhibition?”

“Yes. Stammi Vicino.”

“Stammi Vicino?”

Yuuri nods, then bites his lip, waiting.

Victor smiles, first—a small thing that grows into something greater, something that makes him giddy in every possible way a person can be giddy, in a way that makes his heart soar. Then, he kisses him, harder than he ever has before, pushing him back into the couch to shower him in adoration. “Yes,” he says against his lips when he finally force himself to break away for breath. “Yes, yes, a thousand times yes.”

Queen in the North {Pt. 6}

Originally posted by rickdixonandthefandomlifeposts

Requested: By the loveliest people to ever walk the Earth

Pairings: Robb Stark x Reader

Previously: {Part 1} {Part 2} {Part 3} {Part 4} {Part 5}

Summary: Y/N was sent to live with The Stark family at a young age, and ever since then, she seemed to fit perfectly, maybe even more than she had ever noticed.

Warnings: none that I can think of tbh

Word Count:  2,149

Tag List: @secretschuylersister @rainwing-galaxy @mystic-platypus77 @ly–canthrope  @beautifulsomethings 

“What are you doing today?” Robb asked from his spot on your bed, his hand running lazily through Grey Wind’s fur.

“I planned on helping Sansa bake a few lemon cakes, and Arya had asked about-”

“I already cancelled your plans.” You lost track of the braid that you were currently working into your hair as you turned to give Robb a dirty look.

“What do you mean that you have cancelled all of my plans?”

“I mean that we are having a ‘Just Us’ day, and that I was not going to wait around for you to have a free day in order to make it happen.”

Just Us days were a tradition that had stuck with you from your first few weeks in Winterfell. They were exactly what they sounded like. A day that you and Robb could spend alone, taking the time to slow down in between your many lessons and duties through the years. They were getting harder and harder to coordinate as you grew older.

“Robb, we just had a few weeks worth of just us days.” You said, moving to sit opposite him on the bed. I think that my other responsibilities are a bit more pressing than sitting around with you and Grey Wind, as much as I adore the both of you.“

Robb’s hand found yours, gently looping your pinkies together in a way that caused your heart to flutter. "A few weeks of you waiting on me hand and foot. I hardly think that counts as a break for you.”

“I have so much to catch up on and-”

“Winterfell didn’t fall apart because you neglected your responsibilities for a few weeks. I think that everyone can last one more day while you take a break.”

You searched for a reason to say no, but what Robb was saying did make a lot of sense. Furthermore, Grey Wind was giving you the same eyes that he did while begging for table scraps. You all knew that they always worked.

You sighed and managed to meet Robb’s eyes long enough to nod once. Robb grinned, taking both of your hands in his and allowing himself a moment to think before standing up and making his way to the door, Grey Wind following close behind him. He paused in the doorway, eyes sweeping around the room. “I will meet you at your bench as soon as you are ready.” He made his way down the hall, and you hurried to finish the braid in your hair and pack a few necessities in a bag before rushing down the stairs to meet him.

“I have absolutely no idea what took you so long.” Robb laughed, linking your arms together and throwing your bag over his shoulder.

You caught Sansa’s eye as Robb lead you across the courtyard. Even you couldn’t miss the twinkle in her eye before she turned and made her way inside. Thankfully, the day was warm, and Robb’s light hearted laughter was enough to draw your attention away from wondering what Sansa might have been planning.

The walk to the woods felt shorter than you remembered it from when you were children. That might have had something to do with the fact that your legs were considerably longer, and you were distracted by Robb’s pinky, which was currently linked with your own. You found the pond in record time, Robb taking the opportunity to spread out a blanket while you played with Grey Wind in the clearing. You couldn’t help but laugh as the direwolf pranced around the clearing.

You had missed this. You loved your family, but there were times when your responsibilities piled up. Robb had always somehow known when it got to be too much, and you were forever grateful for his weird sixth sense about your stress levels. You chased Grey Wind around the clearing laughing when he turned and pounced on you, causing you both to tumble to the forest floor.

“I spent all this time laying out a blanket so that you wouldn’t get Sansa’s lovely new creation dirty, and here you are rolling in the dirt.” Robb’s voice was stern, but when you managed to tear your gaze away from Grey Wind, you saw him smiling. An honest to gods, Robb smile. The one where his eyes crinkled at the sides. It was one of your favorite smiles of all time, and you were happy to have it to yourself today.

“Up you come,” Robb said, offering you a hand and pulling you off of the ground. You underestimated the amount of strength he was going to put into pulling you up, and meant to stand up on your own. This resulted in you practically launching yourself onto him.

“Hi there.” You said softly, your nose a few centimeters away from Robb’s.

“Hi.” Robb was making no move to step away, until Grey Wind began to whine at his feet. “I think someone is hungry.”

You glanced down at the direwolf and you couldn’t help but smile. Grey Wind was loyal and fierce, but you and Robb did love to spoil him rotten.

Robb chuckled to himself and took your hand before leading you over to the picnic that he had set up for the two of you. He had managed to get all of your favorites, even though some of the fruit was out of season and sometimes proved troublesome to get to the North. There were lemon cakes, strawberries, and even a large piece of mutton for Grey Wind. You tossed him his well earned treat before tucking into one of the lemon cakes.

“I hope you saved some of these for Sansa. You know that if she finds out you didn’t she won’t speak to you for days.” You said, grinning in between bites.

“Always looking out for me.” Robb laughed, while you pretended that your face wasn’t warming up. “I did leave her a few, only because I knew that you would yell at me the entire trip back if I didn’t.”

“Let’s do something fun.” You say, sitting up and glancing around the clearing. Grey Wind had fallen asleep, and Robb looked like he wasn’t far behind his faithful companion. “Let’s climb a tree.”

After Robb chose to ignore your perfectly reasonable suggestion, you decided that you were going to do what you wanted. You marched over to the tree and only spared Robb one last look over your shoulder before hiking up your dress and making your way onto one of the sturdier looking branches.

As you sat down on the branch, you couldn’t help but feel proud of yourself. Maybe a little too proud of yourself for what you had actually accomplished. Although it was something that would seem insignificant to others, you were always a clumsy child, and had never actually made it up and into a tree before you fell out or someone yelled at you to stop before you hurt yourself.

Robb let out a surprised laugh at the sight of you perched on the branch. You couldn’t help yourself, and before long a giggle became a full on belly laugh. You grabbed your stomach that was starting to ache from the laughter.

That was a mistake.

Before you could stop yourself, you were sliding off of the branch. It all happened so quickly that you were not even able to let out a scream. Grey Wind was by your side in seconds, Robb not far behind.

“I should have known better than to let you into a tree.” Robb said softly, allowing you to lean against him while you acclimated to being in the ground.

“My arm hurts.” you said softly into the crook of Robb’s neck.

“I know. We will have it looked at as soon as we get back.” Robb scooped you up in his arms, being as gentle as possible. You walked for a few minutes, before you remembered the picnic that was still laid out for the two of you in the clearing.

“I’m sorry.” you said quietly, breaking the silence that was hanging between the two of you. Robb simply rose his eyebrows at you. “I know that you probably had better plans for us today. You know, ones that didn’t include me falling out of a tree.”

“You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for.” Robb’s voice was soft, but there was a quiet command in it as well.

“I knew I was clumsy before I climbed up that tree.” you said, moving your uninjured arm to loop around his shoulder.

“But you also knew that I was usually there to catch you. Maybe I should be apologizing.” Robb muttered, refusing to meet your eyes.

“Robb,” you said quietly, forcing him to look at you. “I feel safe with you. This is no one’s fault. Not really.” He was silent again, and you knew that it would be better to let him work through his feelings on his own. “It’s fine” you said quietly, running your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. “I’m fine, or at least I will be when we get back.”

The two of you were nearly back to the castle, and you could feel at least a bit of the tension beginning to melt from his shoulders.

“I could walk, you know.” Robb grunted, barely acknowledging what you were saying. He merely shifted you in his arms, somehow managing to pull you closer to him.

You sighed to yourself, and allowed him to carry you up into the infirmary. Robb began to explain what happened as Old Nan gently examine your arm. All of the words fell on deaf ears, until Old Nan confidently announced that your arm was not broken. “Although there will certainly be some bruising, as long as you stay away from trees, everything will be fine in maybe a week.”

“That’s good,” Robb said, once again linking his pinky with your own. “We wouldn’t want you in a sling for the wedding.”

You felt your entire body tense up, and your eyes widen. Old Nan quickly sat down the wrap that she was putting away and made her way out of the room.

“What did you just say?” you asked, timidly. You might have misunderstood him, maybe you were all attending a wedding in a few days. It wouldn’t have been the first time that you all were required to attend some distant cousin’s wedding. And most of all, you didn’t want to get your hopes up.

“I was thinking about our wedding. You would still look beautiful in a sling, but I think that it would be better for everyone if you were mobile”

“Robb?” Your heart was racing. Robb truly was talking about your wedding. The only problem was that he hadn’t proposed yet. “You haven’t asked.”

“Asked what?”

“You haven’t asked me to marry you yet.” Robb blinked a few times, as if you were speaking Valyrian all of a sudden. “I mean, unless you were just assuming that I was going to say yes. I mean,”

“That’s what I forgot to do today.” Robb was grinning to himself. He sat down across from you on the bed and took both of your hands in his. “I had a much better setting planned out for all of this, I’ll have you know.” Suddenly, you were grinning too. “I had great speech planned out too. Guess it’s kind of useless now.”

You could feel your eyes watering, and if Robb’s hands weren’t holding your own, you were sure that they would be shaking.

“It doesn’t matter. This is perfect,” you said, your voice hardly above a whisper.

“So, will you?” Robb looked as if he was on the verge of tears as well. “Marry me that is.”

“Of course I will, you absolute dolt.”

The both of you were grinning, and maybe even crying a little, and then he was kissing you. And even though would never admit it, you had imagined this a thousand times over. But this? This was even more perfect than you ever could have imagined it. You felt yourself smiling into the kiss, and then Robb was smiling too.

He pulled away slowly and then gently rested his forehead against yours. “I love you.” he said,  before pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.

“And I you.” Before you could say anything else, Grey Wind shoved his head in between the two of you, having gone without attention for long enough. “And I love you too.” you laughed, leaning down to plant a kiss on his head.

“Have I mentioned how much I love the both of you?” Robb asked, smiling down at the two of you.

You leaned back onto Robb, resting your head on his shoulder. “You have, but you could always tell me again.” 

some of my theories for season 3:

idk how right these are but based on what I saw in s2—

  • I think Kali and her gang are gonna come back in to the story in some kind of way—or maybe not even all of them, maybe just Kali, based on how episode 7 ended.
  • since all of the numbers 1-7 and 9-10 are totally unknown, I’m sure some of them or all will turn up in either season 3 or 4 (my thought is there’ll probably be some kind of prelude in s3 and them meeting in s4, maybe to defeat some great evil from the upside down?)
  • I’m like 95% sure there’s gonna be some Jopper in s3. the whole thing with Joyce and Hopper in the tunnels and the moment outside the school, it’s obvious there’s something there and I’m sure it’s the Duffers foreshadowing something because dAMN those scenes hit me right in the feels
  • at some point I think they might address Will’s sexuality because it hasn’t been confirmed yet and there are tons of contrasting hints leading one way or another, I just feel like there’s some sort of secret about it?? might be wrong tho
  • ALL THE KIDS!! HANGING OUT!! this isn’t technically a theory but I’m really excited to see how Max and Eleven get along (I think after Eleven understands the gym situation, she’ll warm up more to Max, and I’m DESPERATELY HOPING FOR A SISTER-BROTHER RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN WILL AND ELEVEN/JANE and more Lumax/Mileven please and thank you)
  • I feel like Joyce and Hopper are gonna be like the parental figures to all the kids, since Mike’s parents don’t really care and the other parents don’t know about what happened in the Upside Down and such? this is also a high hope for me tbh I’m really digging the “huge family” kinda theory for all the characters
  • this one is REALLY hard to say but I have this niggling feeling that Jonathan is gonna die?? Idk why I just feel like at some point he’ll sacrifice himself to save Will or something like that
  • Steve’s gonna be that cool uncle figure who sneaks all of the kids candy and gives them dating advice and takes them to see R-rated movies. I just feel it.

I have SUCH high hopes and excitement for s3 and the strain of waiting another year for it is gonna kill me (send help to all Stranger Things fans in the next year, guys)

False implicatures and plausible deniability

In our episode on the linguistics of propaganda, we talked a lot about how false implicatures can bend the truth just enough to sneak misconceptions into people’s heads, without them even necessarily realizing it. These are sentences where we imply something that isn’t true, without coming out and saying it overtly. But while we’ve touched on the topic of indirect speech before, we haven’t spent much time talking about why we do it. That is, why don’t we always just say what we mean, instead of risking a garbled message?

To get at an answer, let’s consider a few different uses we’ve got for indirect speech, and then see if we can figure out what they’ve got in common. Imagine, first, that you were out on a date, and as the evening winds down, you want things to move in a more romantic direction. Would you come right out and say it? Well, some of us might. But chances are that many would take a much more gentle approach — say, by asking if the other party wanted to come over to their place for coffee, or maybe to Netflix and chill.

Or let’s say you were driving a bit too fast, got pulled over, and were pretty sure you were about to get a ticket for a few hundred dollars that you really can’t afford. But let’s say you happened to have $50 on hand, and you’re feeling just brave enough to give a bit of bribery a go (NB: The Ling Space does not condone bribery). Would you move right to “I’ll give you money if you let me go”? Probably not, if you have any intention of staying out of jail. You’d likely try to be at least a little sly about it — maybe wondering aloud if the problem can’t be “taken care of here.”

Or picture the old cliché of a mobster extorting protection money from some local business, under penalty of violence. Since explicit threats are often illegal, but the enforcer still needs to get their message across, euphemistic speech ends up a vital part of their criminal enterprise. Phrases like “It’d be a shame if something happened to this fine establishment” replace outright intimidation, though the message remains the same.

In each of these cases, the speaker is affording themselves plausible deniability. Trying to move a new relationship (or even an old one) in a different direction can be potentially awkward, especially if the other party isn’t as interested as you. But if you play your cards close enough to the chest, and things go awry, you can always deny you were talking about anything more than coffee, or a night spent binge-watching the latest season of House of Cards.

And since bribing an officer is against the law, but might get you out of paying a hefty fine if they happen not to be the most honest cop in the land, the indirect approach lets you test the waters without committing yourself one way or the other. If they catch your drift, everybody leaves happy; if they don’t, well, you can hardly be found guilty for someone else misunderstanding your otherwise unimpeachable character! (More generally, shifting from one relationship type to another, like from one rooted in dominance to one that’s more transactional, can lead to tension, which is why bribing the maitre d’ for a better table can seem just as nerve-wracking, even if it’s not a crime.)

As for that threat: it might be hard getting something so weaselly to stick in court. On the face of it, after all, it really would be a shame if something happened! And they can always claim they were just expressing genuine concern, as laughable as that might seem.

And, so, indirect speech — and by extension plausible deniability — has many uses, both amongst those in positions of power, and those with none. Though paradoxical on the face of it, it can provide avenues for authoritarians to obtain and maintain control,* while protecting the powerless when all other exits are blocked.**

It’s fair to ask, though, why bribes and threats and the like that are so thinly veiled should work at all. Doesn’t everybody know what ‘Netflix and chill’ means by now? And is the mob really fooling anyone with their supposed concern for the well-being of the community? The secret lies in a concept we’ve spent some time picking apart already: mutual knowledge, otherwise known as common ground.

Mutual knowledge refers to the knowledge that exists between two or more speakers — not simply what both of them know, but what each of them knows the other one knows (and what each of them knows the other one knows the other knows, and so on). So while the intent of asking a partner over for coffee might seem obvious to both parties involved, because the invitation was indirect, there’s enough mutual doubt should either one decide to back out. If the answer is “no thanks,” embarrassment is saved, and everyone can go along pretending nothing ever happened. The possibility that either speaker doesn’t understand what just took place is small, but when we start asking whether each of them knows whether the other knows what happened, or knows that they know that they know, uncertainties multiply unbounded.

What indirect speech really does, then, is keep things off the record. While the information implicated by someone might be clear as day to anyone within earshot, that information manages not to work its way into the common ground. And, so, unlike base assertions, which fall square into the vessel of mutual knowledge we carry between us in any given conversation, implicatures float around just out of our reach — visible to everyone, but ephemeral enough for us to pretend they don’t even exist, if and when we need to.