might be repetitive but it was the only set i felt like making

On Camera

Or that one time Lance decided to live-stream when he really should’ve been resting. The (established) klance YouTuber AU that no one asked for, but you’re all getting. Domestic klance sharing an apartment is my jam, and throwing a little angst in there is a bonus.

I’m actually really happy with this, and if people like it I might do an actual long AU thing with this setting, so feedback is appreciated! For now though, just a one-shot. This is also proof that the best writing for me happens at 3 AM… oops. I hope you enjoy!!

Psst @taylor-tut this is that thing I not-so-discreetly mentioned in my tags, have a wonderful day.

Lance McClain was a rulebreaker in every way, except for one thing. He believed it was always necessary to have a routine, and never stray from it. If asked, he’d inform you that a steady routine was the foundation for a steady life.

Showering every morning, brushing his teeth every night, thinking of a cheesy one-liner for Keith each day without fail, the list went on. Little things.

One of his many routines was to live-stream, always on Sundays. Because who did anything besides sit at home, definitely not with a hangover, on Sunday?

New videos went up on Wednesdays, but the carefully edited ones on YouTube and his live-streams were very different. Many fans even preferred seeing him live, mainly because he couldn’t stop himself from making bad jokes, and was usually too lazy to straighten his bedhead.

And they would always ask him to go bother Keith in the next room, which Lance more often than not was obliged to do.

So when he woke up late one Sunday with a killer headache and a stuffy nose, Lance wasn’t about to let it get in the way of his routine.

He discovered a note from Keith on the kitchen table that said he’d be out running errands, and Lance lamented that he hadn’t been awake to tell Keith to get soup. After shooting him a quick text, the only response Lance got was “You don’t even like soup.”

Lance chuckled softly, which quickly led to a series of wet coughs. Clearing his throat, he began to set up his camera, wrapped himself up in blankets, and started the stream.

“Hey guys,” he said with a small wave, and winced at how raspy his voice sounded. He sniffled, and edged the off-screen box of tissues closer to him.

The chat was quickly flooded with “HELLO”’s and “LANCE!”’s. By now, all the fans knew when he went live. Lance was, however, surprised to see several inquiries about his health.

There were quite a few “Are you okay”’s, and even some “You seem sick”’s, with one of Lance’s personal favorites being “You look like shit.”

He read off the last comment with a short laugh. “Thanks, KeiththeKutie05.” Then, as an afterthought, he added, “Nice name.”

After a short pause of him continuing to scan the chat, he spoke again. “I’m fine though, just got a cold or something. Nothing could stop me from live-streaming!”

As the viewers seemed satisfied with this response, Lance wasn’t surprised to see the usual repetition of “Where’s Keith?” in the chat. He sighed.

“Mullet Boy is running errands,” Lance told them, rolling his eyes for effect. “Probably going out to buy a new pair of fingerless gloves.”

Keith and Lance had been sharing an apartment for some time now, and the Internet was very invested in their relationship, or so it seemed. Keith was annoyed by the whole thing at first, but Lance found it entertaining that his fans seemed to like Keith better than him. Lance could, admittedly, relate.

Eventually, the accidental publicity that came with dating a YouTuber inspired Lance to make a collab channel for them, though Keith never got his own. He insisted that he was too awkward to film anything by himself, which Lance secretly found adorable.

Numerous people began telling Lance to prank Keith when he came back, to which Lance grinned. Playing tricks on Keith during live-streams had become somewhat of a tradition in and of itself. “Maybe I will,” Lance tapped his chin thoughtfully. “You guys got any ideas?”

Lance read through some of the responses but saw nothing particularly appealing, then perked up at someone asking when he’d do a video with Hunk again.

“Actually, I got some good news for you guys,” Lance declared, sneezing into his elbow before continuing. “Hunk and I are going to be playing videogames on Pidge’s channel sometime next week, and Hunk has both of us coming over to his and Shay’s for a baking video. I haven’t decided what we should do for my part yet. Maybe a Q & A?”

Once again, Lance’s eyes scanned through the suggestions until his eyes snagged on one he liked. “Cards Against Humanity, huh? With YouTube’s shitty new rules it could get demonetized, but I do love that game, so why not? I’m positive Pidge owns it, and I can tell them to bring it over. Maybe I can even convince Keith to play with us.”

Lance couldn’t help but smile at the enthusiastic response that got.

“I think I’m going to get myself some more coffee,” Lance decided, looking down at the empty mug resting on a coaster. “Last night Keith made me watch this really scary movie, so I naturally had trouble falling asleep. Gotta have coffee to keep myself functioning. Do you guys prefer coffee or tea? Keith and I are both coffee people, but he likes his black. No sugar or anything, disgusting if you ask me.”

Lance almost regretted this comment as a war of opinions on black coffee slowly took over his computer screen.

“Well, anyway, I’m gonna go to the kitchen real quick. I’d bring my laptop but… I’d probably spill coffee on it, and we can’t have that.”

Lance stood, and was about to start towards the next room when his vision abruptly blurred and refocused. He knew immediately something was wrong.

His legs felt like jelly, and the room seemed to spin as he took a single step forward. Had he only been fine when he was sitting? Lance had half the mind to sit right back down, but his brain was growing muddled, and direction simply didn’t make sense.

Lance’s migraine flared abruptly in intensity, and then suddenly the wood floor was rushing up to meet him. Everything went dark.

Keith glanced at his phone as he moved around to the back of the car, where he’d stored the groceries, and had to repress a fond smile at the Twitter notification on the screen. Lance was, apparently, live-streaming. Keith thought he might actually miss his time-slot for once, but he figured by now he should be used to the Cuban boy’s dedication to routine.

Lance’s channel got some negative feedback from more ‘sophisticated’ YouTubers for being… all over the place. A dedicated beauty guru, or PrinceLotor as his channel was called, had dragged Lance on Twitter on more than one occasion.

Lance was anything but consistent when it came to videos. He did whatever he felt like doing that week, and the fans loved it. Sometimes he played songs on his guitar, sometimes he did prank-calls. He would film Q&A’s, or tell stories about all the interesting stuff that happened in his life— Lance’s bad luck was rather famous. He recommended TV shows, did hauls of what he got for holidays, vlogged on occasion when he went to stores, you name it.

But Lance’s favorite thing to do were collabs.

Hunk, an incredibly smart engineer, had a baking channel as a hobby, and Lance was his favorite assistant.

Pidge was a newer gaming channel, but their obsession with theorizing about the game’s lore while playing and busting other fan theories made them grow in popularity quickly. For two player games, Lance was ideal.

Allura was an extremely popular beauty channel, and Lance let her give him makeovers whenever she wanted to. Shiro could use extra actors in his short films.

And Keith… well, the two of them had a channel together that had no pattern whatsoever, much to Lance’s dislike. Absolutely spontaneous and random, usually doing things by popular fan request, like dancing or karaoke. And uploads were by no means regular.

Keith was surprised at how much he had started to enjoy it. Lance had been telling him he should start an art channel, with animations and speedpaints and the like, and Keith wasn’t… that opposed to the idea. It could be a useful source of income, to help with all the debt he would come into after graduating college. But he’d never tell Lance.

Without thinking too much of it, Keith swiped right across his screen, taking him to Lance’s tweet about the live-stream in order to like it. He was about to close his phone again and begin taking groceries up to their apartment when his eyes snagged on something odd.

Lots of the replies to Lance’s tweet mentioned him, particularly the recent ones, even tagging him in it. Keith couldn’t fathom why they would be talking about him if he wasn’t on the stream, unless Lance was complaining about him live again.

Keith bristled. Lance better not be still annoyed at him for the movie the last night. Signs wasn’t scary at all, and not even a real horror movie! Lance simply stated that ‘he didn’t mess with aliens.’

But when he looked at all the mentions, Keith felt his irritation give way to confusion, and then panic.


Keith slammed the trunk, all groceries forgotten as he sprinted into the apartment building and ran for the stairs. They only lived on the third floor, and he was not about to wait for the slow, crowded elevator.

He fumbled to fit his key in the lock and opened the door to the living room, only to spot the live-streaming set up, with no Lance. Keith rushed forward, but drew up short when he realized that Lance was in fact passed out on the floor in front of the couch.

“Oh my god— Lance!” Keith sank down beside him, turning his boyfriend over. “Lance, are you okay? Can you hear me?”

Lance’s eyes opened slowly, and Keith felt relief flood his system, despite the uncharacteristically pale skin. “K-Keith? Wha… I thought you were shopping?”

“I’m back,” Keith answered shortly, wincing as he pressed a hand onto Lance’s forehead. “Jeez, you’re on fire. Why didn’t you tell me you were this sick?!”

“Are you a fire?” Lance mumbled under his breath, and Keith furrowed his brows in confusion.

“What? No, Lance, I was saying you have a fever.”

“Because you’re hot and I want s'more,” Lance continued, as if he hadn’t heard him at all. Keith was suddenly painfully aware that the live-stream was still going, and that his face was even more flushed than Lance’s, and not because of a fever.

Keith glanced at the computer sitting on the coffee table briefly, noting that most of the chat was full of random keyboard smashing. He smiled apologetically. “At least he’s conscious,” he shrugged, hoisting Lance up off the floor and propping one of his arm’s around Keith’s shoulder. “I’m going to take this idiot to the hospital, he’s way too hot.”

“So you finally admitted it,” Lance’s voice was barely audible, and Keith glanced back down to see him grinning up at Keith tiredly.

“I meant your temperature, dumbass. Next time, tell me when you’re not feeling well.”

And with that, he shut off the stream.

Learning multiple languages at once

When I first started this blog, I was studying Korean, Mandarin, and Japanese all at the same time. It gradually turned into more of a Korean-only blog, but I have been sort of maintaining my basic-level Mandarin, and I have recently started getting back into studying Japanese (let’s see how long it lasts!). So, how do I do it? How does one successfully study multiple languages at once? Learning more than one language at the same time poses some unique issues outside of those that one would face learning just one. Today, I’ll touch on what I think, based on my own experience, are some of the most important things to remember and do to learn more than one language at a time. Remember, this is all just based on my own experience; others might have different takes, but this is mine~

Starting out with differing levels

One reason why I feel that my first attempt to learn Japanese failed was because I was still in the very basic stages of learning Mandarin. In my opinion, the beginning level is where progress should be the fastest as you start building up your foundation, and building that foundation requires undivided concentration and a lot of practice and repetition. My Korean was advanced enough that it didn’t really impact things in this aspect, but with trying to study basic level Mandarin and Japanese at the same time, I found myself sometimes getting confused, and I felt like I was slogging through the basics way too slowly because I had to divide my limited time between the two. I was able to give neither my Mandarin nor my Japanese foundation the attention it needed to really start strong, and both suffered as a result. I decided to prioritize Mandarin, and now that I’ve gotten to a point with that where I feel I am a bit beyond that critical minimum, I am able to devote more time to Japanese without feeling like my Mandarin is taking a hit because of it. My advice would be to avoid starting two languages at the same time. Make sure you build a solid base in one language and feel confident that it won’t interfere with (or be disrupted by) introducing another language into your study schedule.

Time management

Finding the time to study even just one language can be hard enough if you’re leading a busy life, but you have to be especially on your time management game if you want to go for more than one. Consistency is key—languages are very much a use-it-or-lose-it deal, so try to schedule set study times for each language in each week. On the off days for a language, you should still try to fit in even a few minutes of vocab or grammar review just to keep your brain in focus! Making a schedule can, provided you commit to actually following the schedule, help you ensure that you get that vital study time in, and that you don’t accidentally pour a ton of time into one language and as a result leave the other to wither away.

Exposure, exposure, and more exposure

Of course exposure to a lot of input of the target language is crucial even when learning only one language. However, making sure you get a good amount of exposure to each of your languages when you have multiple languages you are working on at once can be a bit tricky. You can set time aside for consuming media like TV programs, music, and other things for each language, but that usually only gives you exposure to one at a time. There are ways to get exposure to multiple languages at once! For example, I study Japanese using only Korean-language resources, and I constantly work to draw parallels between vocabulary that I know in Korean, Mandarin, and Japanese. My Chinese language exchange partner and I communicate primarily in Korean when we are just chatting and not actually studying together, and I have found multiple penpals and language exchange partners on various platforms that speak two or sometimes even all three of the languages I am currently focusing on! I especially recommend trying to study using languages other than your native language because it might help you see certain grammatical constructs and concepts in ways that are hard to express in your native language. Find language exchange partners that you can speak with in multiple languages so you can make the most of your practice time as well :)

Ultimately, learning more than one language at a time is a challenge. However, it is certainly doable if you make sure that you give each language the time and attention it needs and do your best to keep interference between languages to a minimum, especially at the starting stages. Finally, make sure you get a lot of exposure and practice, and you’ll be good to go!

Happy studying~

Submitted by @vampirequeenoffan


No but really this was great and I’d love to read more of it, I find the idea super interesting, like sirens are such a common and wellknown threat that lifeguards are hired specifically for their ability to resist them, super cool!

Sorry it took me a little while to respond to this, I enjoyed it so much I wanted to draw a lil smth for it

There was a time of the evening when it was easiest to strike. Sock had gotten it down to a science. When it got darker and cooler, the crowd on the beach thinned, and so too did the number of lifeguards. Three, two, and then just one, standing watch over the tourists still milling about on the sand and splashing around in the shallows. One life guard, however watchful, couldn’t keep track of everything at once, and there were blind spots to be exploited if you knew where they were.

Needless to say, Sock did.

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Mr. Kim - Teacher AU

“I know you weren’t in the guidance office before my class today. I also know you spend more time in my room with your eyes on me than anywhere else you should be looking,” Jin purred, walking his fingers up and down your thigh. “So why don’t you tell me the truth, darling? Eager to see me?”

word count: 3.3k

genre: smut (oral, car sex, dirty talk, uniform kink(?))

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dramaticanexit  asked:

Hi, I'm working on a historical fiction set during WW2, and at one point I'll be reaching an assassination (it's a hypothetical book, though, in real life, he died 8 days later). Do you have any ideas on how to keep people feel tense?

Thanks for your question :)  I love historical fiction, so I’m really excited for you and your story!

Creating and Maintaining Tension

Tension in fiction is a vital part of keeping your page-turner… page-turning.  The only reason your reader still has the book open is in the anticipation of something happening – and when you heighten your level of tension, this anticipation is increased.  It’s like the electricity that keeps a movie projector running.  If it runs out, your story is cut off before the audience even finishes.

While there should always be some level of tension and conflict running in your story, there are instances (e.g. your assassination plot) that require extra intensity.  There are many popular methods of creating tension, some of which you’ll recognize as commonly used in episodic TV to make sure viewers keep up with each episode of a show.  Here are some of my favorites…

1. Foreshadowing

The beauty of tension lies in the moments before the Major Event takes place – so when you’ve got an assassination coming, place your first focus on the chapters leading up to it.  Foreshadowing is a powerful tool as long as it is used sparingly, and gently.  It should not be too obvious – e.g. “I fear something terrible will happen tomorrow,” “It felt as if it were the last time I would ever see him again,” and alike.  This sort of foreshadowing can feel forced; rather than creating tension, it diminishes it.

Originally posted by purple-lightsaber

There is a kind of foreshadowing that I prefer, though.  I think of it as reverse-foreshadowing, because rather than a character/narrator hinting at bad things coming, there is an expectation of good things.  For example:

Imagine a scene between a man and his daughter, who have been estranged for many years.  The man is terminally ill, but he and his daughter have the first happy evening together in a long time.  Unbeknownst to them, the father will die in the next chapter.  You could foreshadow this by eluding to the fact that while they’re both having a good time, they know that this may be their last night together.  OR you could have the father begin to believe that he could fix his relationship with the daughter – to think that he might have enough time to change his ways.  In saying this, you create stakes; you create a reason to hope that the man won’t die, yet also the fear that he won’t have the time he needs.  This can prove more effective than the first idea.

2. Repetition

Another method of increasing tension involves the repetition of key words, mirrored situations, or other motifs related to the Major Event coming.  An example of key-word repetition would be to take a specific term (e.g. “Hail Hydra”) and use it in many instances throughout the story, so that when the reader lays eyes on the word/s, there is a familiar sense of fear.  Mirrored situations could work on your characters’ or reader’s superstitions or fears (e.g. the narrator taking note of a certain look in the eyes of their violent mother, and then, years later, recognizing the look in her boyfriend’s eyes one night).  Using strong imagery in repetition can provide intensity in a powerful way.

Originally posted by abbygrffns

3. Withheld Information

This one is my favorite, because it works in so many different areas of the story.  One surefire way to create tension = reveal as little as possible, as slowly as possible.  Give your characters one strong hook, one reason to hang on, and keep everything else close to your chest.  Specifically:

Don’t reveal your villain’s plans – just reveal that they have plans, and that they may be related to the person you wind up killing off.  As long as they know something is going to happen, they’ll stick it out to see just what it is.

Don’t let the events transpire all at once.  When you know you’ve got readers hooked, switch over to another plot/situation.  Milk it as long as you can; make them wait for the Big Thing while entertaining them with other Little Things.  It’ll frustrate the hell out of them, and they’ll love it anyway.

Don’t end chapters at their natural ending.  Instead, cut things off in the middle!  Tease readers with uncertainty.  In reality, people don’t know what’s going to happen next – that’s why reality can be much more frightening and intense than fiction.  Life isn’t easy to predict because it doesn’t always reach resolution when we want it to.  Channel that into your writing and the idea of an assassination becomes much more effective.

Originally posted by reginaa-phalange

Those are just to name a few, and I actually have a lot more to say on this topic, so I might make another post later on.  I hope this helped!  If you have any further questions, be sure to hit me up :)  Happy writing!

If you need advice on general writing or NaNoWriMo, you should maybe ask me!

j-j-leroy  asked:

Painting a room and things end up in a paint fight

Between the seven of them, the Voltron team was incredibly busy.  There was always training to be done, the castle to fix and clean, information to absorb, machines to build, fights to prepare for- easily two dozen people’s worth of effort split between less than ten.

However, once in a blue moon, certain conditions struck.

Projects were on pause until proper supplies could be found.  Repairs were holding for the moment.  There were no local distress signals, no messages from their allies.  No immediate battles to fight, nothing they knew to prepare for.

There was always something to be done, but those tasks weren’t always the most pressing.

Or interesting.

“This whole room?” Lance asked in dismay.  He held the handle of his paint roller in one hand, the other sulkily pushed into the pocket of his jacket.

It was hard to argue the room didn’t need a good layer of paint.  The previous coat was cracked and faded, giving the whole area a shabby feel.  While nearly all of the castle was bare-walled, relying instead on the inlayed lights for decorations, this seemed to be some sort of fancy meeting hall.

It was the sort of place that hadn’t need to be touched up when they were only fighting for their lives.  As they gained allies and prestige and took part in more political battles, well..

The room was needed, now.

But it was big.  And all of it needed painting.

(Read More Below)

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anonymous asked:

I loved your "do it I dare you" Jumin×MC×V post, so could you write a part 2 or write one where MC is in a relationship with V and Jumin is the one who is kind of flirting? Thanks so much! Your work is amazing 😍


FANDOM: Mystic Messenger
GENRE: Angst
CHARACTERS: Jihyun Kim (V), Jumin Han and Reader/MC/You

DISCLAIMER: A possible sensitive content.

a|n request granted! idk if this is what u wanted tho?? but i hope u like it nonssi!! chus!! thank you for your kind words omg!! aaah i’m so happy to hear that!

“Hey.” His soft voice enveloped your senses, the warmth of his body emitting its presence behind you. You slowly turned your swivel chair around as V gently dipped his head to plant a soft kiss on your forehead. “You’re working hard. Don’t strain yourself now.”

You smiled as you snaked your arm around his neck, slightly pulling him closer to you. Your eyes caught the coffee and sandwich he was holding and you couldn’t help but giggle at the gesture. V had always been very attentive and accommodating to you. Tending your needs down to the last detail. Ever since you started your job at Jumin’s company, there was never a day he failed to visit you.

You planted a small, feathery kiss on his cheek that earned you a chuckle from him. His creamy voice was godsend from the heavy atmosphere of your work area. Everyone were so engrossed on their jobs and were probably trying to meet deadlines after deadlines. They were this dedicated to work under Jumin’s direct leadership. All his employees were busily arranging stuffs and making sure nothing slips.

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Masterpost: On calling characters autistic

Part 3: Hinting

*These techniques can be combined with explicitly calling your character autistic*

Part of the calling characters autistic series

Part 1, “Whether you should explicitly call your character autistic, and how you should go about it” can be found here

Part 2, “What if “autistic” isn’t a term that exists in my story?” can be found here

You’ve made it to the end of this series of masterposts!

We started Part 1 by discussing the importance of explicitly calling characters autistic, and have given you lots of strategies to do this – but sometimes you just can’t make it fit. As we explained in the first part of this masterpost, explicitly calling your autistic characters autistic is usually preferable; however, you might be building up to calling your characters autistic later in the story, or your story might exist in a time or place where the word “autistic” would not be used (for example, in Part 2 we mentioned stories set in the past, before autism was recognised or existed as a term). If you want to hint that your character is autistic - whether or not you reveal their autism later on in the story - here are some ideas:

Use the character’s backstory
You can use narration, dialogue, or a flashback to reveal part of your character’s backstory related to autism (without explicitly calling it by its name).  For example, you might mention that your character received disability benefits at some point in their life, used to go to therapy, and received a diagnosis as a child. Or you could mention your that character was not able to speak until a late age, they were bullied for being “different”, and that they used to spend weeks eating the same food constantly. You could also refer to some of the other factors mentioned in our “writing autistic children” masterpost.

Other characters talking about the character
Other characters in your story might speculate about the autistic character’s neurotype, or liken them to a neurodivergent person they know. This could even start off a story arc ending in your character discovering they’re autistic!

Your character makes life choices based on their autistic traits
Their choice of hobbies, entertainment, lifestyle and even professional life could be influenced by their sensory profile, special interests or problems with social interaction. Maybe they don’t go out very much because the noise and people outside are too much, or maybe they moved to the countryside because of that. Maybe they became a software engineer because they’re very passionate about coding. Maybe they love dancing because they love the way the movement makes them feel. The possibilities are endless. Honestly, I’d say that even if you’re not trying to give hints to your readers, this is still something you should do, because your character’s autistic traits will impact the way they live their daily life.

Adjust the way the autistic character speaks
The autistic character might use atypical speech patterns. For example, they might use echolalia, mix pronouns (I, you, he), struggle to switch between registers, etc. Atypical speech patterns can help your reader interpret the character as neurodivergent.

Adjust the way your character moves
Think about how your character uses body language, including eye contact, repetitive movements (stimming), and facial expressions, which can all help to show that the character is not neurotypical.

Your character feels “different” from other people
Your character could express how they feel “different” from other people. Before they find out about their neurotype, many people can feel weird, different, even alien.

Maybe the narrator or character explains that they’ve always felt different because [autistic traits], and how they’ve come to realize they work differently than most people because [autistic traits]. You could also try something like “my brain works/is wired differently from most people’s”, which describes neurodivergence but is not autism-specific.

Using words related to autistic concepts
Your narration could use words related to autistic concepts, such as “stimming”, “hypersensitivity”, “sensory overload”, “meltdown” or “shutdown”. This can be a good hint, but only if the readers are already educated about autism. One good thing is that if they aren’t, it might encourage them to do some research!
Your character might also use these sorts of words. However, not all autistic people do use these types of words – using autism-related vocabulary could instead indicate that they have read about autism and adapted some useful concepts into their daily life rather than necessarily being autistic themself.

Incorporate other typical autistic traits
This post includes some typical traits you could include. For example, the character could be extremely knowledgeable about their special interests and use them as a way of framing the world and interacting with it. They might tend to infodump a lot about their special interest.

Some traits, such as rocking, hand-flapping, or being nonverbal,  are more stereotypical and more likely to ring an “autistic” bell in your reader’s mind.

Try to avoid just making your character a personification of a list of autistic traits! Most autistic people don’t show *all* autistic traits all the time - this would make your character some kind of caricature - and it is important to flesh out your character so that they have their own personality and interests

We hope that these ideas have helped you. There are surely other techniques that could be used (check the notes in case anyone has reblogged with any suggestions), but hopefully we have given you a good head start!

Try combining the hints we have given here and ideas we have included in other posts in this series.

Something that might work well is using some of these hints in the first part of your story, but then actually using the word “autistic” later on in your work. This way, you get all of the advantages of explicit representation and your readers won’t feel like the “big reveal” comes out of nowhere. You could also combine these hints with an author’s note and/or calling your character autistic in the summary of your story.

Good luck with your writing!

Check out the rest of our “Calling Characters Autistic” series

Need help writing an autistic character? Read through our FAQ

ALBUM REVIEW: Frank Ocean - Blond

As his visual album, Endless, dropped in dissonance to Channel Orange, fans scratched their heads, asking themselves, “Is this our Frank?” The angelic voice seemed to be directing his art away from the groovy, hip-hop timbre of the first album, toward a more cathartic R&B tonality. Three days later, what seemed to be a sonic transformation proved to be only an addition to Ocean’s skill set, when a second album broke through the surface. Blond was released on an independent label and is anything but a carbon copy of Endless. Stylistically, it’s more similar to Frank’s flair on Channel Orange, which brought him into the spotlight.

Blond’s first song, “Nikes,” begins with an organ-like synth and Ocean’s voice comes in a few octaves higher than normal. For me, the “little” voice appears as Ocean’s conscience and it wanders from heavier content, like police brutality and materialism, to more whimsical lines about little mermaids by the pool and b***** wanting Nike. The stream of consciousness is a more fluid approach that almost says, “These are my thoughts, but it’s just me.” Ocean does this to recognize himself as part of the movement, but reinforces his role as a storyteller who starts conversation. In times like today, being queer, Afro-American, and in the spotlight is difficult because people look to you to be the leader. Instead, Ocean chooses to provide his thoughts, but doesn’t lay them down as the law. The song tells the story of glittery fame, juxtaposing the realities behind that fame with an obvious distaste for materialism in our modern world. Three minutes into the song, the register drops and Ocean begins addressing the audience. The message remains similar, preaching to live in the moment (“living so that last night feels like a past life”) but tends toward personal experience as opposed to a comment on our world. Lyrics in the bridge lament having something special with someone that isn’t love, or what they have with someone else, but still is something meaningful, setting the tone for the next song and the content of the album as a whole.

“Ivy” chronicles “the start of nothing new” with an old lover and the problems that arise due to confusion of emotions and changes that happen with time spent away from that person. The manifestation of confusing emotions, as the feeling deep down is “still good,” but “it’s not the same,” is a motif carried throughout the album. There are a lot of songs out there about breakups and new love, but on this album, Frank does a marvelous job of telling the stories behind those imperfect, undefined relationships: the ones that aren’t right out of a fairytale. When I started this review, I asked many of my friends what their favorite songs on the album were, and I was confused when each person came at me with a different song. Usually, there is some sort of consensus, or a song that comes up a few times (probably the banger off of the album), but pretty much every song on the album got a shout out from my pals. This is most likely because each song talks about a very specific sort of relationship or situation, rather than finding a unique way to talk about the same cliché set of love stories. Channel Orange had a similar approach to discussing love, which is partially why I thought it was such innovative songwriting. This quality also contributes to the album’s ability to grow on you, because the complexity of the lyrics and the situations discussed takes a few listens to fully capture. There also may be a situation described that is too specific for someone to relate to currently, but they can come back to it in a year with greater sympathy. The reverb on the guitars is reminiscent of a slow-moving, California beach rock love song. By the end of the track, Ocean’s voice has been transformed via production to an aggressive, pseudo-robotic cry, as the anger and frustration in the lyrics grows. Then, cut music and just the echo of the last word, “dreaming,” resonates in the space left by the instruments. This is killer, as it generates the feeling of trying to grasp something that can really only be a dream, being left emptyhanded instead and the frustration that comes along with that.

“Pink + White” follows this song, setting the pace for the ebb and flow of the album. The triplet feel in the base line with the minimalistic piano counterpart creates a groove similar to that set by older songs like “Sweet Life,” which makes sense because both songs were produced by Pharrell. I am mentally taken to lazy walks that I like to take when the sun is setting in summertime because everything is brilliantly-colored and sits still for a moment before the craziness of the evening picks up. Frank paints a picture of the rosy haze surrounding experiencing a new kind of love, wherein instead of walking grounded, you waltz (¾ time) through the clouds. This is definitely one of those songs you should play for your s.o. when you’re lounging around in bed, with the shimmers of light coming through the shades of your window. The cloudscape is completed with the glittering voice of Beyoncé, the sunshine, who is also included on backing vocals.

Following, “Pink + White” is a female voice sample whose monologue sharply contrasts the lazy summer vibe of the previous track, warning whomever she is addressing to not use drugs and alcohol. Repetitively, the voice tells her audience to be themselves and continues preaching regarding typical temptations of a young adult. By the end of it, I was definitely thinking about my mom, and my feelings were validated when the voice signs off, “This is mom, Call me.” Ryan Ocean, Frank’s brother, later confirmed on Twitter that the sample was Auntie Rosie, who was also featured on the song “Not Just Money” from Channel Orange. A good family friend, the recording is an actual voicemail that one of Ocean’s friends received. The sample balances the copious drug references used in other songs and seamlessly introduces “Solo,” the next song. The primary instrument in “Solo” is an organ synth, thus the succession of tracks mimics a sermon followed by the church music, but of course, the lyrical content is far from the typical church experience. The track talks about being alone, getting high, and essentially coping with loneliness. Instead of the strong psalm of solitude one might expect from the title, Ocean’s melancholy melodies soar over the organ in a ballad, discussing the little things that are okay when you are alone; the heaven that exists within the hell that is separation.

“Skyline To” follows the night of ridin’ “Solo” with a story of summer love. Homoerotic musings brush the audience in Biblical references like, “Makin’ sweet love, takin’ time, ‘til god strikes us,” which I love. I love that he slips in his sexuality in such a normalized fashion, with pride, but just going on with his day-to-day life. This is how it should be. The song rolls through a druggy haze with a psychedelic synth accompaniment. Kendrick Lamar lends his vocals and none other than Tyler the Creator is the producer – guess it’s OFWGKTA for the win. The end result, tonally, is of a similar leaf to “Pink + White” with images of sun slipping through the window, turning into beams of moonlight. Finally, the mention of what no one wants to think about: the end of summer. Somehow, I don’t care that he made me think about starting school, though, because the melody and lyricism in this song slay me.

The whimsical voice of Frank’s conscience returns for the hook of “Self-Control” as he recalls a pool-side conversation, questioning whether he and the person he’s with and he can “make it shine.” The hook lets way to an acoustic guitar and Ocean croons, spilling his heart out over a past lover. This song digs into the stereotypical situation that starts over lust, but the flame within one of the people dies, causing disproportionate interest and eventually an end. Swedish rapper Yung Lean is featured on the chorus with Austin Feinstein of Slow Hollows, saying, “Keep a place for me, for me I’ll sleep between y'all, it’s nothing, It’s nothing, it’s nothing.” The repetition of “It’s nothing” mimics the repression of the other thoughts in one’s head; trying to play it cool. This lyric also pays a small amount of homage to Prince’s lyric “…I didn’t care…when he was there, sleeping in between the two of us” from “When U Were Mine,” which Frank covered on his last tour. The perspective is different because Prince talks about the person coming between he and his lover, whereas Frank wishes to be the one coming between his significant other and the person with whom they’re sleeping.

After pouring his heart out, Frank recounts a blind date he had in New York city, set up by one of his mutual friends, on the track “Good Guy.” This mini-track is cut from the same emotional cloth as “Self-Control;” Ocean ripples from emotionless hookup to emotionless hookup. It’s nice to know that even superstars have problems with finding someone who wants something real. Then, at the end of the song, there is a clip of two men in a car, talking about girls wrecking their hearts, but it cuts midline to my new cruisin’ anthem, “Nights.” It’s as if the Frank, whose feelings weren’t returned, hits that “snap out of it” wall, vibin’ onto a more up-tempo track.

Although “Nights” dissertates the hustle, it also references other parts of Ocean’s “everyday shit,” including the people he’s seeing on the side of his work. He reminisces on days where he had less money and worked night shifts. Manifested is the feeling of wanting to have someone there to come home to, but also being married to the grind and not being able to keep up something more serious. The cyclical thoughts build to waterfalls of notes echoing into a phone ringing, then silence. This felt like when I lie in bed at night and thoughts bounce around until finally I go to sleep, but in a tempo change that screams Frank Ocean. The change signals the entry into dreamland: deep bass kicks in and the mix feels like bubbles of rolling piano chords, slowly finding their way to the surface – perfect for a final verse about memories deeper in Ocean’s past. The hook returns over the same production, cessation echoing into a “Solo Reprise” by André 3000.

The halfway point in the album coincides with the tempo change so it makes sense that the reprise comes after, returning to themes from the beginning of the album. André’s rapid flow blew my mind the first time I heard the track, accompanied by just piano for most of the song. He bemoans police brutality and materialism, touching on his unhappiness with the music industry, asking at the end, “Was I working just way too hard?” Cut immediately to “Pretty Sweet,” which has an intro that’s anything but sweet. More of an auricular experiment, what starts as complete chaos and dissonance within the synth chords turns into less dissonant guitar, but there remains a lack of structure. Ocean’s flow is at times melodic, but the phrasing of the verse is syncopated and some lines remain unfinished. A chorus of children at the end turn the sonic trip into a shimmer of major chords, sunshine, and happiness: disharmony resolved.

The next voice on the album has much too thick of a French accent to be Frank Ocean, and that’s because it’s French DJ and producer SebastiAn. He actually “programmed” several of the tracks on Endless, including one of my favorites, “Rushes.” He spoke about Frank recording the story when they were just hanging out in an interview with Pitchfork, confirming the skit to be a true story. “Facebook Story” echoes previous mentions of technology bending what people consider to be reality, making them “crazy.” After all, the relationship ended when the DJ wouldn’t immediately accept an official request on Facebook when he was with the friend. A similar message rests in the lyrics of Wolfgang Tillman’s track, “Device Control,” that premiered at the beginning and end of the visual album: people are unable to live their reality without their technology intertwined.

Next is a cover of what originally was “(They Long To Be) Close to You” by The Carpenters. It truly sounds more similar to a live Talkbox cover of the Carpenters song done by Stevie Wonder due to the production of Ocean’s voice. A talkbox is one of the original tools used by musicians for vocal modification, so covering a cover, adding even more technology and production, is playing even further into the picture of virtual reality that Ocean continues to paint. It is a nice compliment to the last skit, as Ocean sings of longing to be close to an anonymous lover in this lyric collage cover.

Remember a year ago when A-Trak hinted that in a few weeks we would hear a song called “White Ferrari” that would be the best thing we would hear that year? Then how it really stunk when it didn’t come? Well, ladies and gents, here it is, THE “White Ferrari,” track 14 on the album. Lennon/McCartney are credited on this track for a similarity in lyrics to the song “Here, There, and Everywhere.” The tone is nostalgic, the content being an old relationship and the purity of the love he found. The melody stands strong in front of major synth chords that eventually change to guitar while still remaining predominantly low texture. The last lines of the outro are sung by James Blake until breaking through to the clarity of “Siegfried.”

“Seigfried” is obviously a break-up song, but it dives into the world of Ocean’s other life experiences and musings on the nature of his mind. He pays homage to Elliott Smith’s haunting song regarding substance abuse, “A Fond Farewell,” in saying a “fond farewell to a friend,” and through the lo-fi quality of the guitars. The repeated references to bravery make me think that the title refers to the warrior Siegfried (slightly different spelling) of Norse mythology who often symbolizes bravery, and his story ends in the perfect fairytale with a princess. Ocean believes that the suburban, settled life is not for him and that he’s not brave. Additionally, the warrior could be representative of Ocean’s ex-boyfriend, Willy Cartier, who looks similar to depictions of Siegfried with long, flowing locks and a “speckled face” that Ocean mentions in the first verse. There is also the possibility of the title instead referencing Siegfried Sassoon, a British poet and soldier, who is actually more similar to Ocean in his bisexual experiences. Sassoon also had a romance with Wilfred Owen, who fell madly in love with him, but the love was not returned. The conclusion of thought is that Frank Ocean would do anything for whomever he’s talking to, in a desperate final cry for the lost relationship.

“Godspeed” has a fitting ecclesiastic organ accompaniment and Kim Burrell, who many consider to be one of the greatest gospel singers of all time, sings the outro. The song matches titles with a story that Frank wrote in the Boys Don’t Cry magazine, and I think that the following quote he shared with fans speaks for itself:

It’s basically a reimagined part of my boyhood. Boys do cry, but I don’t think I shed a tear for a good chunk of my teenage years. It’s surprisingly my favorite part of life so far. Surprising, to me, because the current phase is what I was asking the cosmos for when I was a kid. Maybe that part had its rough stretches too, but in my rearview mirror it’s getting small enough to convince myself it was all good. And really though… It’s still all good.”

He shared this as a note, reminiscing about the making of the album in two Tumblr posts that you can read here. The note containing the quote is shared in the form of a collage with an image of a gold BMW. “Futuara Free,” the final song on the album, has a title reference to Stanely Kubrick’s favorite typeface and is divided into two parts by a silent interlude. If you thought there was a problem with the audio, you better go back and listen again. The beautiful melody recounts all of Ocean’s accomplishments and from where he came. The verse moves in a stream of consciousness, free-falling through pop culture references and lamenting the stress that comes with being famous. The second part, post silence, is a clip of an interview with Illegal Civilization, a skater gang that hangs with Odd Future in LA. The interview was conducted by Ryan Breaux, Ocean’s brother, years ago and includes silly interview questions, lots of background noise and interview clips with Mikey Alfred, Sage Elsesser and Na-kel Smith. The video ends the album, fading into a lighthearted rosy haze, in the hands of the youth. It also works well with the large amounts of sampling and collaboration that Ocean uses on the album, truly showcasing that an artist pulls influence from everywhere.

Overall, it was worth the wait. Each track stands as artwork and they are sewn together with the motion of the Ocean, into a masterpiece.

-Erin Jones

anonymous asked:

can u do one where the reader is dating josh, but one night he goes to a party without her and she sees pics of him and debby together and she gets really jealous and insecure? thank you, love your writing :)

so i’ve gotten a couple anons with similar requests, so i decided to go with this prompt. enjoy xx. and be on the lookout for @kylielo22​ and i’s new shared writing blog @topfics​ she’s already posted an imagine and i’ll be posting one tonight, so go follow us!


“Wish you were here…”

Josh’s text came through your phone only about an hour after he had left the house.  

You slide to reply.  “Just try to have some fun, babe.  You deserve a night out.”

Moments later, the typing bubble pops up, indicating another message would soon come through.  

“I’m just saying, it would be a lot more fun if you were here.”

You smile to yourself, slightly smug that Josh missed you so much.  He had practically begged you to go to this party tonight, but after the day you had, all you wanted was to cuddle up in a blanket and stay home.  You weren’t one for going out much, anyway.  

“I promise I’ll go with you to the next one” you text back.

As the night goes on, you start to feel increasingly guilty for not going.  Josh would be leaving soon for the second half of the tour, after all.  You should have tried to spend every moment you could with him.  You make a point to stay awake until he got home.  That way you could at least cuddle and talk with him a bit before going to bed.  

To pass the time, you throw on a show from your Netflix watch list and start to scroll through your phone.  You mindlessly check your social media accounts, instagram first, then twitter.  

You weren’t even really paying attention until you came across a picture of Josh from the party.  He was smiling happily, and looking like he was having fun.  That made you feel a little less guilty.  

Every time you refreshed your feed, new pictures of Josh would surface.  They were all pretty repetitive.  Him smiling with fans.  Him smiling with friends.  Until one popped up that really caught your eye.

Josh was giving his signature cheesy grin, only this time, his ex-girlfriend was planting a wet one right on his cheek.

You knew you’d regret it, but you clicked on the picture anyway, watching as the comments flooded in.

Jebby is back!

I’m screaming, why are they so cute together!!!

does this mean Y/N and Josh broke up?

honestly Jebby is better than Y/S/N was ever gonna be…

they look so happy!!!!

And they did.

They looked happy.

You trusted Josh.  You really did.  You trusted him with everything inside you.  You knew he wasn’t cheating.  You knew him and Debby weren’t dating.  But that didn’t keep the bubble of jealousy inside of you from growing.

You knew you should close your phone and just wait for him to get home.  But you were pretty much the queen of emotionally self-destructing behavior, so you continued to scroll through the comments, refreshing and reloading, and rereading words that made you hate yourself.  

Josh and Debby just belong together tbh.

he’s so obviously in love with her

The picture blew up.  It spread like wildfire.  People were retweeting it.  Jebby started trending. And you felt like you might be sick.

But you couldn’t help but stare at the picture and think, maybe they really were better together.  

You bit your lip, wondering why someone like Josh would ever fall in love with someone like you.  Especially after what he had with Debby.  She was so good for him.  Beautiful.  Talented.  Fun.  She was in the same business as him.  She knew LA like him.  She wasn’t afraid to go out and have fun on nights like this.  

You didn’t really try to hold back the tears that were falling down your face, glistening from the light of your phone screen in the dark living room.  The TV played in the background, the noise feeling so distant and muffled.  You sat, curled up on the couch and wondered how long it would take Josh to break up with you.  

It seemed unavoidable now.

You finally lock your phone up and wrap your arms around yourself, squeezing tight and trying to hold your aching insides together.  

You sigh and decide that waiting up for Josh that night wasn’t really appealing to you anymore, so you find the energy to lift your body off from the couch and make your way up to bed.  

Your thoughts raced as you stared up at the spinning ceiling fan.  You weren’t good enough for Josh.  The concept had finally resonated with you.  You weren’t good enough and you never would be.   People like Josh deserved people like Debby.  People who were confident, and adventurous…

Just then, you hear the door open and close from downstairs. You immediately roll over so that you’re on your side, back facing the door.  You close your eyes and pretend to be asleep.  This way you could avoid a conversation with Josh.  

Moments later and you can hear his footsteps approaching the bedroom.  He cracks the door quietly before entering.  You can tell he’s trying to be light on his feet so as not to wake you.  You stay still, practically holding your breath.  You wait until the bed dips beside you to let out a soft exhale.  

Maybe it’s your imagination, but he feels further away than usual.

The next morning, you’re up before Josh.  

You putter around the kitchen, trying to stay as quiet as possible while putting together a small breakfast for the two of you.  

You’re surprised when he comes down the stairs before nine o’clock.  That was unusually early for him.  

“Hey,” he says, in his sleepy morning voice.

“Morning,” you say, “how was last night?”

“It was good,” he says, pulling up the stool from the counter so that he can watch you flip pancakes.  “Would’ve been better if you were there, though.”

You can’t help but suspect he’s lying.

“I saw some pictures on twitter, looked like you were having fun.”

“Yeah we did.”

Who was we? you thought. Him and Debby, no doubt.  Your insides squirmed.  

Don’t be jealous.  The voice in your head said.  It’s not a good look on you.  

“They had so much free food, you would’ve been in heaven—“ Josh starts to ramble on about the night, but you weren’t paying attention.  You couldn’t.  You were too overcome with this feeling of dread.  You had a weight in your stomach, dragging you down.  All you could think was I’m not enough.  I’ll never be enough.

You’re suddenly pulled out of your trance by Josh calling your name loudly.

You look up to see the pancakes you’d had been cooking in the pan had turned charcoal.  You gasp loudly and pick the pan up off from the burner, smoke rising.  It quickly hits the fire alarm and sets it off.  The loud noise echoed throughout the room.  

You rush to the trash can and dispose of the burnt pancakes, before practically throwing the metal pan into the sink.  

Could you do anything right?

You fall to the floor then, bringing your knees tightly to your chest and resting your forehead on them before letting out a sob.  Your hair falls around your face like a curtain, you were grateful.  It hid your shame.

Josh quickly rushes over.

“Hey,” he soothes, kneeling beside you.

“I mess everything up,” you cry out.  

“It’s okay—“ he places his palm on your curved spine, rubbing circles with the pads of his fingers.

You look up finally, your eyes already puffy.

“I’m not good enough,” you whisper, staring straight ahead at the cabinets.  “I’ll never be good enough for you.”

“What?” Josh says, confused.  “Y/N, they’re just pancakes, we have more batter… we’ll just make some more—“

He clearly doesn’t get it.

“It’s not just the pancakes, Josh. It’s everything.  I’m not good enough for you—“

“Why would you even say that?” he stutters, placing his other hand on the floor for balance.  

“I’m boring! I stay at home while you go to parties.  I’m in bed when you get home.  I can’t follow you on tour or go to half as many of the shows that I’d like to.  You deserve someone who’s better…” you pause. “better suited to your lifestyle.  Someone fun and pretty.  Someone like Debby!”

You throw it all out there.  Hoping he doesn’t focus solely on the last bit.  

Josh doesn’t say anything at first.  He just stares at you.  It’s hard to gage what he’s thinking, too.  Was he mad?  Hurt?  In agreement?  You couldn’t tell.  

“I saw the picture,” you sigh finally, hating his silence.  “Of the two of you.—“

“I promise nothing happened…” Josh immediately interjects.  “We’re just friends, she didn’t even stick around that long, just enough to say hi—“

“I know,” you say back.  “I trust you and I know you’re not cheating on me, but like…” you struggle to find the words.  “Everyone was commenting, saying how much better she is for you than I am.  And at first I was jealous.  But then I thought… What if they’re right?”

“Baby…“ he says, his voice sounding so empathetic and sad.  He sits with his back against the cabinet and pulls you over onto his lap.  You don’t even protest.  He rocks with you like that, all folded up and coiled into his body.  He kisses the top of your head.  “They’re not right.”

You open your mouth to protest, but Josh cuts you off.  “Plus it’s not up to them.  You love me exactly the way I need to be loved, and there is no one better for me.”

You sigh against him, letting your head rest on his chest.  

“I can tell you don’t believe me,” he says against your hair.  

“I’m trying to.”

“I’ll remind you for the rest of my life if I have to.  I love you so much,” he says.  “I love you, I love you, I love you,” he rocks with you back and forth to the beat of the words.

You finally smile.  Realizing how much Josh cared about you.  

“I love you too,” you finally sigh in relief.  The voices had finally quieted down, maybe one day you would really believe you were enough.

“Now come on,” he says, helping you to your feet.  “Let’s go out and get some breakfast, cause I’m not touching those pancakes…”

Did Lemony stalk the Baudelaire orphans from his taxi?

The very first discovery readers make about the mythology of “A Series Of Unfortunate Events” is, naturally, the purpose of its semi-fictional narrator:

  • Who is he?
  • What does he want?
  • When did he start recording the lives of the Baudelaire orphans?
  • Why do they matter to him?

We do get an answer to all of these mysteries, in “The End”.

But these are all the wrong questions.

The real question is: “Can we, as a reader, trust the benevolent image he tries to project?”

There is indeed a difference between giving the facts and telling the truth. And when it comes down to it, there is something unseemly about the idea of a grown man exposing these children’s darkest turmoils for the benefit of complete strangers. Without apparent consent, no less.

Let’s embark together on a troubling journey and retrace Lemony’s investigation, step by step. We will analyze his methods; we will question his motives. And we will paint a very different picture of Mr Snicket’s works than the one he wants us to believe… after the cut.

Keep reading

selfish (part 7)

pairing: jungkook x reader x jinyoung

summary: in the fast-paced world of idols, newly debuted groups must fight to be on top. you are one of these new recruits, seeking success but paying the price when you find yourself entangled with jeon jungkook and park jinyoung.

previous chapter // next chapter✏︎

a/n: y’all are so good to me. you’re such sweethearts, and your messages really mean a lot to me and i felt a strong need to write more! so here is another part to Selfish, only a couple of days after i posted the last one. it’s not as long as the last one, but still a good length (around 4k).

Originally posted by jypnior


It’s been less than two hours since Jinyoung confessed to you.

You were currently in the midst of frantically pacing back in forth in your dorm. Thoughts are flying through your mind at a million miles per hour, and you feel completely and utterly lost.

After Jinyoung had uttered those fateful words confessing his feelings, you had stood silent for a moment. He took this to mean that you didn’t feel the same way and was about to leave, apologizing profusely to you all the while.

But you subconsciously chose to reach out and stop him, and you had told him that you weren’t directly rebuffing his advances. You were confused, you said.

And that was the truth. You were confused.

On one hand, Jinyoung was unbelievably caring and sweet, but Jungkook was…well, Jungkook. He was so magnetic in such an effortless manner.

With Jinyoung, there was chemistry, too, and you couldn’t deny that even if you wanted to.

So you chose to keep Jinyoung holding on, at least until you knew for yourself what you wanted.

Jinyoung took this surprisingly well, even embracing you one final time before speeding away in a taxi.

This left you alone to decipher your feelings.

It felt as if you knew Jinyoung quite well, but barely knew Jungkook. In fact, you quickly realize that you don’t know Jungkook at all.

The fact that he could treat you as if you were completely worthless completely perplexed you. Just a little while ago he was claiming he wanted to be with you, but then he immediately switches up to blaming you for a decision he knows was made by your company.

Sure, it had been shitty of you to allow them to pin it all on him, but what were you supposed to do?

BTS and Jungkook were already so well-known in the industry. A flaw like this wouldn’t wreck their career.

In your case, it’s starkly different. You had just debuted and are still working your ass off to make a name for yourself. Things were just looking up for your career, and then the scandal hit.

In fact, a scandal big enough to crush what little of a career you possess.

The more you contemplate your relationship with Jungkook, the angrier you get. You can’t seem to shake off the pain you felt when he refused to look at you while fucking you.

Did he still have feelings for you?

You crawl into bed with this thought racing through your mind repetitively. The evidence was there. He refuses to look at you during sex, he ignores you in front of others, and he blames you for things that are completely out of your realm of control.

Attempting to sleep, you pull the covers over your head and try to take deep breaths. Instead, you find yourself breathing in short puffs of air, heart rate accelerating drastically as your mind remains consumed by thoughts of doubt and uncertainty.

Try as you might, you knew you were never going to achieve peace of mind unless you spoke to Jungkook directly.

Rolling out of bed, you grab your cell phone, fingers hovering over the keyboard as you draft a mental message to send to Jungkook.

But what if he simply ignores your message?

It would be too easy for him to do so. You wanted to force him to confront you and your feelings, to set the story straight.

So you take a deep breath and type something out, hitting send quickly.

[3:28AM] Y/N: Yoongi oppa, are you awake? I think Jungkook accidentally took my wallet today at the party and I was wondering if I could stop by to get it from him.

A few short minutes later, Yoongi responds and you feel a weight being lifted off of your shoulders. You unlock your phone as quickly as possible to read the message.

[3:31AM] Min Yoongi: He’s still out at Mark’s right now, but feel free to come on over and wait for him to return.

He attaches the address to the dorm to the end of the message, and you run into the bathroom to freshen up a little before heading out the door.


The sound of the doorbell faintly rings on the other side of the door as you press the button.

Moments later, the door opens to reveal a gummy smiled Min Yoongi.

His ashy brown hair is tousled, as if he just woke up from a good night’s rest, but his dark circles tell you otherwise.

“Did I wake you up earlier?” You say, stepping into through the doorframe cautiously, assessing whether or not you need to remove your shoes.

“No, no, I was awake working on some music.” He waves your concern away. “Come on in, you can just leave your shoes by the door.”

You toss your shoes into the pile by the door and follow Yoongi into the apartment.

“Everyone else is either asleep or out having fun, so make yourself at home. Can I get you anything? Some tea, maybe?” Yoongi motions towards what you assume to be the kitchen.

“Um, yeah, tea would be great!” You try to look as cheery as possible. Yoongi nods and scurries into the kitchen, leaving you alone with your thoughts again.

Looking down at your hands, you pick at your nail polish as you find yourself thinking about all the possible ways tonight could play out.

Jungkook could admit he was being a dick to you and apologize. The two of you could agree to leave this all in the past and start anew again.

Or, he could completely ignore you.

You gulp at this final possibility, but push it to the back of your mind as you hear Yoongi walking back into the room, the sound of clattering ceramics accompanying him.

He’s struggling to grip two mugs in one hand, and a pot of tea in the other. You stand up to try and help him but he shakes his head, smiling as he successfully places everything on the table in front of you.

Sitting next to you, Yoongi pours the steaming hot tea into the mugs, gently placing one in front of you. You nod in thanks, pressing both your hands around the warm surface of the mug. Shivering slightly, you realize you’re still dressed in the skimpy skirt and top from the party earlier in the night.

Yoongi seems to take note of this small detail, and leaves the room without a word. He returns with a large, black sweatshirt, which he hands to you.

“Here,” he offers, “Put this on. Believe me, you look amazing in that, but I’d rather you not get sick.”

Gratefully, you slip the oversized hoodie on over your head. It’s so long and baggy on you that it looks like it’s the only thing you’re wearing.

“You’re like my mom, Yoongi.” You snicker. “Looking after me like I’m your daughter.”

“It’s just instinct by now. I practically raised Jungkook, you know.” His eyes curve into dainty crescents.

“Yoongi eomma.” You tease, poking him on the shoulder.

“Yah, don’t call me that. I prefer the term ‘daddy’.” He winks, inciting a slap on the arm from you.

The two of you are giggling furiously, while teasing and playfully pushing each other. You’re so engrossed in your antics with Yoongi that you don’t notice the click of the door unlocking.

Scuffling sounds approach until Jungkook emerges in the doorway to the room you are currently in.

“Yoongi oppa, that tickles—-“ Your laughter is cut off abruptly as you pale at the sight of a very stolid Jungkook.

Wordlessly, he crosses through the room to open and enter a bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

“Fuck.” You wince.

“Did you say something?” Yoongi asks.

“No, let me just go ask Jungkook if he has my wallet. Don’t wait up! I need to ask him for advice on something, too.” You lie through your teeth, providing a fake smile.

“Okay, sure. I’m gonna get back to my work.” Flashing one last gummy grin to you, he slips on a pair of silver headphones attached to his laptop.

Shakily, you stand and approach the closed door Jungkook is behind.

Knocking lightly, you don’t bother to ask for permission to enter before pushing through and into the room. The room is lit by a single lamp on the bedside table, illuminating a headphone-clad Jeon Jungkook sitting on the bed facing you.

His eyes flicker to you before returning to the screen of his cellphone. Still emotionless, he scrolls through songs.

“Jungkook.” You close the door behind you. He doesn’t acknowledge your presence, continuing to listen to music passively.

“Jungkook.” You repeat, a little louder this time.

Still no acknowledgment. Rage suddenly begins to bubble in the pit of your stomach. You stomp over to the bed and tear the headphones off of Jungkook.

Silently, he shoots a cold glare at you.

“What do you want now?” He says monotonously.

“What do I want?” You find yourself echoing his words venomously. “You treat me like shit, and you ask me what I want? What do you want, Jungkook?”

He doesn’t respond.

“I’m here because I’m so utterly lost. You tell me you want to be with me, and then you blame me for shit I had no say in, and suddenly it’s as if you never felt anything towards me. You use me for sex and throw me aside when it’s over. What am I to you, Jungkook? A toy?” You’re on the brink of tears, clearly struggling to maintain a strong front.

“You’re right, Y/N. I never felt anything for you.” He shrugs nonchalantly, as if he hasn’t just spoken the words that shatter you. You feel hot tears streaming down your face slowly.

“And you want to know why?” He continues.

You don’t respond, but he keeps talking.

“You’ve never for a second been loyal to me. You’re full of shit, you know? Are people just instruments you can use to attain more fame? Because it kind of seems like you think of them that way. You had me fooled for a second there, but then I saw the way you moved on to Jinyoung in a flash. And the fact that I walked into my dorm to see you’ve invaded my only safe place and are flirting mindlessly with none other than Min-fucking-Yoongi just proves my point. Judging by your attire, I’m not the only person you fucked tonight, am I?” Jungkook looks pointedly at the sweatshirt covering your body.

Each word comes as a bullet penetrating your body. For a brief moment, you allow yourself to wallow in the pain you feel.

“He confessed to me, you know.” You whisper, refusing to look up at Jungkook. “Jinyoung did. And I didn’t say no, but you’re the first person that came to my mind. I couldn’t sleep unless I came and talked to you first.”

“Y/N, I—“ You don’t allow Jungkook to finish speaking.

“It’s clear that you want nothing to do with me. It was stupid of me to come here. I’ll let myself out.”

With that you spin around and exit the room, feeling sobs threatening to surface. Head down, you swiftly walk past an oblivious Yoongi who is immersed in his work. Once you are finally outside, you slump against the wall, ignoring the numbingly cold air.

Sobs rack through your body as you finally allow yourself to submit to the heartbreak you are experiencing. Jungkook’s words haunt you, floating through your head endlessly.

I never felt anything for you.

I’m not the only person you fucked tonight, am I?

You’re full of shit.


The next morning you look in the mirror to see an extremely puffy-eyed version of you. Sighing, you splash cold water onto your face in attempt to relieve the tense feeling of your skin.

What else would you expect after crying yourself to sleep?

Staring deep into your own eyes, you mentally slap yourself.

How could you be such a damn fool? You had embarrassed yourself by putting yourself on the line, only to be rejected by a heartless Jungkook.

It was stupid of you to assume he still harbored feelings for you. Besides, you had Jinyoung now, and you knew for certain where his feelings for you lay.

Thinking of Jinyoung, you open your phone to call him. Thankfully, you had an open day today where you could recover from the events of last night. As the phone rings, you practice what you’re going to say to him.

“Hello? Y/N?” Jinyoung sounds weak, his voice wavering slightly.

“Jinyoung, it’s me. Who else were you expecting?” You tease.

There’s a short span of silence on his end.

“I wasn’t expecting you to call me.” He admits.

“Why wouldn’t I?” You don’t pause to let him answer. “Anyways, I was wondering if you wanted to go out to a movie with me tomorrow night?”

Another few seconds of silence on his end.

“I-is this your way of asking me out on a date?”

You pause momentarily. “Yeah, I guess it is.”

“Well, I just have schedules until 5pm but I’m free anytime after that.”

“Great! I’m done at around the same time. I’ll text you later about it.” You find yourself smiling, feeling a bit giddy. You’re about to hang up when Jinyoung speaks again.

“Y/N?” He trails off. “Does this mean…you feel the same way about me?”



After you return to your dorm from a long day of schedules, you find yourself meticulously preparing for your first real date with Jinyoung.

You scrub at your body in the shower until your skin is silky smooth. You take extra time blending your eyeshadow into a flawless masterpiece. You curl your eyelashes multiple times until you’re finally satisfied with the precise curve they are in. You spend half an hour alone picking out your outfit for the night, despite the fact that it’s just a casual movie date.

Fifteen minutes before the date, you pace back and forth in front of the door, checking your phone periodically to see if Jinyoung has sent you anything. You anxiously await his arrival and peer through the peephole on your door multiple times, not seeing anything.

“Hot date, Y/N?” Your groupmate chimes after observing your restlessness for a few minutes.

“Jinyoung is taking me to the movies.” You can’t help but burst into a huge smile at the thought of Jinyoung.

“How are you so nervous? This has to be at least your fifth date.” She scoffs.

You wave her off, giving her a sheepish smile. The doorbell chimes sharply, causing you to jump a little.

“He’s here, he’s here, he’s here!” You mutter to yourself, scrambling around to gather your purse and check your appearance in the mirror. Taking a deep breath, you pull the door open and greet Jinyoung with a kiss on the cheek, inciting a blush from him.

“Are you ready to go?” He asks you, eyes traveling up and down your body.

“Yes!” You cringe at how excited you sound.

Play it cool, Y/N!

“Perfect, let’s go then.” Jinyoung takes hold of your hand, gripping it delicately, as if he’s terrified of you crumbling from his touch. He leads you to parking structure, where he approaches a sleek black car.

“Is this yours?”

“No, it’s Jaebum hyung’s. He let me borrow it for tonight, but it took a lot of convincing. He’s very protective of his car.” Jinyoung rubs the back of his head.

“Wow, going all out for me, huh?” You wink playfully. Jinyoung turns a darker shade of pink, but he speaks again, seemingly unaffected by your teasing.

“Only the best for you, princess.”


The car ride to the movie theater is short and sweet, filled with small talk about the busy days the both of you had today.

Jinyoung had decided on a historical romance film that was up for many awards. You weren’t particularly interested in that genre of movie, but you decided to endure it for him. Besides, it was rather cute that he liked such mature movies.

However, you quickly grow bored of the movie, choosing to watch sideways as your head rests fully on Jinyoung’s shoulder. His arm is draped around you, and the armrest in between your seats has been lifted so that your bodies are fully touching.

The movie has been in theaters for quite some time, so the attention has died down and the theater you are currently in is empty except for the two of you.

You begrudgingly watch the scene unfolding in front of you. The two main characters are kissing passionately and begin to undress each other hastily.

You discover yourself thinking about Jinyoung, and look up to see him fully engrossed in the movie. Creeping upwards, you press small kisses onto his neck slowly.

He looks down at you, and in the minimal light provided by the screen, you can see that his eyes are slightly darker than before.

You reach up to tilt his head towards yours and press your lips against his, testing for his reaction. He immediately responds, leaning in closer to you and wrapping his other arm around to grab your face.

His thumb grazes your cheek as your lips brush against each other’s slowly but forcefully. Jinyoung bites down on your lip, causing a small surge of pain to shoot through your body, only to be quickly eased by his tongue lapping at the same spot.

Feeling yourself getting wet, you reach your hand out blindly to grab at the semi-hard form of Jinyoung’s length through his black slacks. You grip onto the outline of his length, starting to palm him.

Jinyoung pulls apart from you immediately, resting his hand over yours to pick it up and place it back on your own lap.

“That’s enough for now.” He whispers into your ear, eyes returning to the screen, where the raunchy scene is over.

You’re in disbelief at how he can so casually resume watching the movie when he was obviously into it by his growing erection. You, on the other hand, cannot concentrate on the movie. Your mind is instead preoccupied by dirty thoughts of Jinyoung.

It was different now that you knew he was kissing you because he wanted to kiss you, and what had just happened is the farthest the two of you have gone in all of your dates to this point, regardless of if they had been fake or not.

Before, it had only been closed-mouth kissing and pecks on the cheek. But now that you had had a taste of what it was like to do more with Jinyoung, you couldn’t stop thinking about it.

The movie ends and Jinyoung intertwines your fingers together before standing up. He falters for a second to look at the end credits, but you practically drag him out of the theater.

“How did you like the movie?” He smiles at you warmly.

“Uh, it was good.” You avoid eye contact, focusing on getting out of the crowded theater as fast as possible.

“Just good? I thought it was incredible! Man, that one scene with the waterfall was breathtaking!” Jinyoung continues to gush over the movie as you pull him towards the parking lot.

He continues to babble on about the movie the whole walk back to Jaebum’s car and you remain silent, nodding when necessary.

As soon as he unlocks the car, you open the door to the backseat and push him in.

“What are you doing?” His expression displays his confusion.

Wordlessly, you climb in and onto his lap, shutting the door behind you. The windows in the car are extremely tinted.

Jinyoung is sitting sideways with his legs on the seat, back against the opposite door of the car. Slowly, you crawl up his body, legs straddling him. Your hair brushes against his face as you lean in until you are a mere inch away from his lips.

Breathing heavy, you don’t close the gap, instead waiting for him to. His eyes flicker shut for a moment, and you can feel his hot breath on you.

The anticipation builds within you, and he opens his eyes once he realizes you’re not making the move. Pushing his fingers through your hair, he moves up ever so slightly until your lips touch.

His plush lips move in sync with you as he grips the back of your head with newfound intensity. Your hands rest against his chest, but you can’t help but compare the firmness of his chest to Jungkook’s.


You shake the thought of him out of your head, trying to focus solely on Jinyoung.

You shove your tongue into his mouth, hands trailing up and down his chest. You feel yourself growing wetter again and you begin to rock against Jinyoung’s crotch in attempt to feel some relief.

Separating your lips from his, you reattach onto his neck, sucking fervently in attempt to mark his flawless skin.

Breathily, Jinyoung speaks, his voice husky.

“I think we should stop.”

You freeze, halting your attacks on his neck. You feel a familiar feeling of hurt creeping into your system as you lean back and away from Jinyoung, avoiding eye contact.

Sitting there wordlessly, you examine your hands as you do when you feel uncomfortable.

Jinyoung pushes your chin up, forcing you to look at him.

“What’s wrong?” He says, concerned.

Your eyes search his face for any signs.

“Do you not…think of me in that way? It’s ok if you don’t want me like that.”

Panic surfaces in Jinyoung’s eyes.

“No, no, Y/N, I want you. I want you so badly, believe me.” He gulps harshly, Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. “I just don’t want our first time to be in the backseat of Jaebum hyung’s car. You deserve better, princess.”

He leans in to press a kiss to your lips. You feel yourself melt into him, relieved that your fears weren’t the case. The one kiss turns into another heated make out session, and you feel Jinyoung growing harder, pressing against your inner thigh as you resume straddling him.

Pushing you away again, he incites a groan from you.

“Jinyoungie.” You whine.

Jinyoung gives you a pointed look, lust growing in his eyes. His pupils are blown out and he straightens up, stepping out of the car.

“Get in the front seat.” He demands as he walks around the vehicle to the driver’s seat.


“We’re going back to my place.” You haven’t moved yet, so he gives you a look. “Unless you don’t want to?”

Shooting up straight, you climb into the passenger seat enthusiastically.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Jinyoung smirks.


a/n: again, thank you guys so much for all the love and support i’ve felt in response to the last few chapters of selfish. it really means a lot to me that you would take time out of your day to send me a message :-) 

Prince Charming Is A Lie (Or Possibly Hellspawn)

Look, it’s 1am which is way later that I’m usually awake (because 25 is the new 80) and I wrote a thing because feelings occurred. So have 2.5k of feelings occurring. 

Blame the sleeplessness if it’s terrible.

“I think it was a mistake to kiss me, that first time.”

 Derek doesn’t look at him, continues to play with his fingers and Stiles feels like there’s a lead weight in the pit of his stomach.

 "How so?“ His voice is barely a croak. They’ve been together for a year, now, and if Derek thought their first kiss was a mistake, then maybe he’s just felt obligated to continue the relationship. Maybe the nebulous ideas Stiles has for a future have all been for nothing.

 Derek frowns and Stiles knows not to interrupt when he’s thinking – when he furrows his brow that particular way, he’s trying to figure out the best way to articulate something. Derek can hold his own in an argument, and is never at a particular loss for words, but sometimes he pauses to make sure the words he’s picking are the most effective.

 It’s what, Stiles thought, makes him so good for Stiles, who doesn’t think about what’s coming out of his mouth until twenty seconds after it’s already said. Derek’s arguments are carefully constructed and solid, while Stiles’ sow chaos and account for the inevitability of any plan going to hell in a handbasket, and they work together.

 At least, he’d thought so.

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You know, I think I’m finally over BBC Sherlock. I’m not over my disappointment, but the show in general.

There are much better queer stories out there. Stories in which I don’t have to be satisfied with a knee grope or a shy, awkward hug, or twisting lines to wring some content from them that might hint at something between John and Sherlock - always staying in the realm of the ambiguous, never taking a clear stance.

There are stories - films and TV series - that actually show what happens in queer relationships, without shying away to engage with the physical side of such relationships. This shying away still bears the attitude of shame - we can’t show this!

Why not?! I have to watch men and women snogging, groping, fucking all the time on telly and in films - even if it has nothing whatsoever to do with the stories and doesn’t advance the plot. Let me just think of one of the last movies I watched - Alien Covenant: M/F explicitly making out in the shower, while the relationship between two men is just hinted at with a touch - as one of them is dying, of course (fair enough, the m/f couple in the shower dies as well). Still, I get explicit m/f sexual action shoved in my face that does nothing for the plot. Yet, queer people should be satisfied with the blink-and-you-miss-it mention they get in this movie.

In the face of that, how can people say that what Sense8, Eyewitness, Versailles, American Gods, even London Spy (I know, problematic) does/did is TOO MUCH GAY SEX? It’s not. It might only be the first step to equality. And it’s important to show the physical side of same sex love, to state that it isn’t dirty or perverted or whatever. A way of life that is in itself defined by sexuality needs visual representation of this sexuality in all it’s variety - from kinky orgies to sleepy cuddling, done by old and young folks of all ‘ethnicities’.

But isn’t that just gay porn - and me, a straight woman watching, is objectifying those gay men/characters for my own pleasure? First of all - so what? Men have objectified women and wlw for centuries. Why shouldn’t I be allowed to do the same? Why do I have to be ‘better’, morally superior, purer? I don’t. IMO two cocks are better than one. The more, the merrier.

Second, of course it’s not that easy. Women engaging with gay porn do so for a more complex variety of reasons than simply to get off by watching two dudes fucking. By watching two men, I get, at least on the surface level, a relationship that doesn’t set out by defining who is strong and who is weak (who penetrates or gets penetrated, who fertilises and who gets pregnant). I see two equals. And as women are removed from the equation, I don’t have to fear to watch fellow females being degraded, used,objectified, or assuming whatever role that isn’t me, or watching stuff I wouldn’t like done to myself. I can just watch what I like, without caring too much, without identifying too much. I can engage and keep my distance. And as there’s not that much good porn done for women, I think that’s another reason for me flocking to those series that show explicit gay content.

BBC Sherlock never did that. I hoped it would - somehow, at least. Yes, I admit, I wouldn’t have minded seeing two middle-aged, white blokes ‘fucking’ (making out/being openly in love). I’m too old for will they/won’t they and all those suppoedly ‘gay’ shenanigans that led nowhere in the end. BBC Sherlock just isn’t queer and (perhaps) never intended to be. The gay pilot was a promise never fulfilled.

I’m still a Johnlocker. I will always be. I still LOVE the art/fic this fandom produces, because it goes where I hoped the show would go as well. But I’m not clinging to a show that by now clearly told me that what I’m looking for is not what they’ll intent to deliver. And I won’t miss out on all the good content out there by obsessing over a show that’s not going where I hoped it would.

Therefore, I’ve been unfollowing many blogs. Sorry, it’s just, I need something else/new. It actually feels kinda good to let go. Watching BBC Sherlock gifs/pics etc felt like preventing a festering wound from healing lately. And it became very repetitive after a while - because there are only those few scenes johnlockers can work with, and after a few years, I’ve seen them all and have the feeling that I read every possible interpretation - twice.

I’ll still be following my mutuals. I’ll still look at the odd Ben or Martin pic. But the desperation’s gone. For BBC Sherlock, not for Sherlock Holmes and John Watson.

So, towards new shores! If you blog about art, feminism, queer tv/film, archaeology, history, books, writing (and you are an adult and preferably nsfw), I’d be delighted to follow you.

anonymous asked:

I used to write a lot when I was younger, and I really want to get into it again! Do you have any advice for improving/coming up with ideas/staying motivated? <3

Ohhh you do ask the good questions, dear anon…

This got quite wordy (surprise, it’s me!), so I’ve tucked it beneath a readmore. I really wanted to make a joke about “let me peel back the layers of how I write for you”, but that felt a little….self-indulgent :)

Some Onion Writing Tips - Below the Readmore!

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Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep

Characters: CastielXReader

Word Count: 970

A/N: A short drabble where the reader has trouble sleeping. Mild angst with mentions of sleeplessness and anxiety/nightmares. Also, serious fluff courtesy of the sweetest seraph ever.

The unseasonably cool evening air kissed the still sunlight warmed asphalt, raising a gauzy mist to swirl about your feet as you strolled the deserted roadside. So cold was the night, even the song of the crickets, toads, owls, and other melodic denizens of the wee hours were numbed to silence. Only your deep rhythmic breath, billowing out before you in swiftly dissipating grey clouds, and the soft cadence of your footfalls disturbed the hush – all the world seemed asleep save yourself. Nights like these, when the dread of anxious disquiet dreams and nightmares seized you before you could so much as close your eyes to begin the search for rest, you found a semblance of peace in this waking walking solitude.

The familiar welcome ruffle of celestial wings tickled your ears mere milliseconds before you felt the buckled sleeve of a trench coat lightly brush the back of your hand. You subtly shivered, but not from the cold or the unexpectedness of his arrival.

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Anon Request: “You’ve been out all night. Where have you been?” Title: Maybe This is Christmas Now.

A/N: I decided to make this a continuation of ‘Meeting John Wick for the First Time’. Off to work on Part Three now, hope it’ll feel less repetitive than this! But anyway, I hope Mr/Ms/Dr. Anony likes this :D

Part One

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Choose Your Mistakes #30

Part thirty of the interactive fanfiction, Choose Your Mistakes. Please check the FAQ and the Setting Info if you have questions, and be sure to make your choice below.

You chose to keep Toto the arm.

Originally posted by antisepticjack

You yanked the arm away from Mare’s throat, gripping it firmly below the elbow and holding it away from anything it could grab. The elbow joint flailed wildly, but it had no traction. The claws clutched at the air.
“Toto no! Mare is a friend!” you scolded the hand, probably delirious.
“What in hell is that thing?” Mare hissed, rubbing his neck where five claw marks were filling with black.

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