So while I’d personally rather take things in a different direction, it’s pretty clear that some manner of final showdown is coming between the heroes of the DC Universe and Dr. Manhattan. And while his power is considerable, one would have to imagine the collective might of the entire DCU would be able to rout him. They can, y’know, punch him and laser-blast him until he stops doing evil. That tends to work out pretty well for them.
So how? How will that final fight work? What does even Dr. Manhattan have that could possibly stand up to the collective might of the DC Universe - 52 of it, in the likely event this turns into a multiversal Crisis? For that matter, how could he have wreaked such havoc on the DCU in the first place? How were the Spectre, the Monitors, the angels of the Pax Dei, the imps of the fifth dimension, all those beings of unbridled cosmic power unable to stop him, when it was clear even back in Watchmen that there were some hard limits to his abilities? What does he have that they don’t?
Funny you should ask.
Dr. Manhattan has a penis. And that makes him unstoppable.
After all, no one can actually appear on-panel to stop him. The all-ages, hilariously mischievous Mxyzptlk show up in the same comic as a naked man, even to save the DC Universe? Not gonna happen. Unless it’s in a Young Animal joint where you can swear in front of him without repercussions, no plan on Batman’s part is going to be able to do anything when he can’t reach the threat: sure, the Comedian too could easily banish Bruce Wayne from his presence by saying “fuck”, but the very existence of a glowing blue dick is Kryptonite to the sheer concept of corporate-mandated superhero comics. Oh, you thought Jon Osterman walked about in the nude because he needed no protection from the elements and had grown beyond human social conventions, but he’s always been able to see the future. He knew this day was coming, and set the continuity wheels in motion within the safe confines of a stand-alone mature readers project, ensuring a bulletproof shield once he set foot in the DCU proper. Why do you think he hasn’t shown up yet? He may have restructured the entirety of reality, but he’s saving his real trump card for the final act.
Imagine it: the final curtain is falling on reality as we know it, as Manhattan unleashes his ultimate scheme to annihilate love and faith and hope and all that jazz, and the Justice League and company are there to stop it, but there’s nothing they can do! The best they can handle is being seen with him for moments at a time when he’s in the foreground facing them and can only pull off a butt-shot, but even that’s leaving them in agonizing pain. We hit the point where it’s like the end of Animal Man as the heroes realize the presence of the panel borders separating them from their foe; only Batman can even be heard by their enemy through the conceptual gap, but his words fall on deaf ears. As Manhattan tinkers with the doomsday weapon in the panel on the right, the heroes pound away at the edges of the panel on the left, attempting to break through to save the world, but not even their combined strength is enough: Superman can no more appear on-panel with a tumescent neon cock than I could beat the sky to death with my bare hands. 80 years of content control and mass media franchising stay their hands. Who - who?! - can save the day now?
The boys and girls of Vertigo and Wildstorm, that’s who can save the day! John Constantine! The WildC.A.T.s! Swamp Thing! The Authority! Animal Man, except as a cult leader or something! Mr. Majestic! Kid Eternity, Gen13, Black Orchid, Voodoo, Timothy Hunter and Grifter! Pandora’s desperate plan to unite them with the mainstream DC Universe yields fruit at last, for only they, with both powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men AND permission to cuss and screw, can confront the destroyer of heroes on his own terms! So, at last unleashed, utilizing every ounce of prestige-format power and narrative sophistication at their fingertips, they punch him and laser-blast him until he stops doing evil. And then Midnighter kicks Dr. Manhattan’s head off and says something fucking awesome, and Midnighter and Apollo under Steve Orlando and company rightly gets a 50-issue run. Truly, as their friend Jenny might say, a finer world.
A/N: just something before i go to bed - being there with shawn as he headlines MSG, prompted by that 360 video of him (thank you for the dialogue ideas mendes !). i love it so much. title is the AMAZING john mayer song which i recommend. ok. enjoy! request here.
“Crazy, right?” Shawn says, letting out a nervous laugh as he perches himself on the edge of the stage.
Everything’s set up, now. They’d done soundcheck early so he could have a few hours to take it all in. He’s been trying. The meet and greet is in two hours, now, and you’re stood in the middle of a completely empty Madison Square Garden, looking around.
Sold out, you think, and your heart feels full as your eyes scan over the thousands of seats waiting to be filled. Last year, he was playing theatres. The year before that, conference rooms. You walk over, and sit beside him on the stage, letting your feet dangle.
“Massive.” He’s looking around, “It’s so big in here.”
HARD TO LIVE IN THE CITY; a mix for rich kids and bruised hearts. for champagne in limos and running, running, always running. for the lonely, electric hum of manhattan at midnight and the way the city glows at dusk. for having everything in the world but none of it meaning anything without your best friends. for being young. for being wild. for the njbc.
The Daintiest Thing in a Dressing Gown Pyjama Party will be held in NYC on Thursday 1/14, but we haven’t forgotten our wonderful friends from the world wide web!
Every year to benefit wounded vets, this year The Disabled American Veterans Trust, we reserve one special auction item to sell on eBay and close out at the same time the live auction closes in Manhattan–midnight 1/14/16 NYC time (EST).
This year, we’re proud to present a VERY special auction lot: a Mr. Holmes poster signed by Sir Ian McKellen, and a movie standee of Mr. Holmes.
You can join us in our cause to help wounded veterans like Dr. John Watson by bidding for these items here.
If you can’t bid, please help us by reblogging! We are so grateful for your support in our efforts to raise money for injured soldiers!