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Their name was Midlife… Only in Amsterdam.

While consumers are avid seekers of online information about health, this doesn’t mean they necessarily believe what they find. In the Yahoo!/Digitas Health survey, just 21 percent of the midlife women agreed strongly that “I trust the health info I find online.” Given consumers’ cautious attitude toward the health-related material they find online, marketers must make forthright transparency a priority in the material they present in that venue.

"LIfe At 22"

Is this what they call a mid life crises? I think so …. Its funny how us people don’t really have it bad at all but put our mindset that we need more. I’m deffinatly guilty of it, I’m man enough to say it. I just feel like I was put on this place we all call earth to be someone or something, I just don"t know what it is yet. I need to figure it out soon because I’m running out of time with each air I inhale. I’m not depress more worried. I love my family and friends I just want to take care of them already completly & i believe i can if i put my mind into it but i have way to much distractions. Girls, parties, popurlarity and so on..This might look all over the place but its a relief for my mind at least temporary..

To be continue….

“Life At 22”

Farrrrrk me, it's been one of those days today

My brain’s going haywire. Major midlife going on! (and yes, I’m allowed to refer to a 19 year old slight breakdown/bout of uncertainty as a midlife, as I have cystic fibrosis and this probs is actually the middle of my life - if not later. aha)…

ANYWAY

Thoughts of all shapes and sizes have crossed my mind today. I just don’t know what to do to improve my life really… might be a temporary thing due to being stuck in this fucking loony bin… might not. I can’t get the images of my dreams of late out of my mind. I’ve become borderline obsessed with thinking way too far into the future which is freaking me out and stressing me out in equal measures, especially when I refer back to today and my current situation. I don’t know if what I’m doing is right, I don’t know if people and places and things I do and things I don’t are right AND I don’t know how to know. I don’t even know how to explain it to anyone properly.

Just going crazy. Somebody save me? And tell me that everything is going to be ok? It’s not dreadful now, I just feel unfulfilled y'know? There’s nothing worse than an empty life, because that’s just an existence. I want to know what I’m living for, who I’m living for, where I’m living to head towards, y'know?

Fuck me I need to just chill out. Finding that an impossible task.

April 29 on Help! My Mid-life Sucks! Nina Price, success coach for midlife women, returns to teach us the 7  21st  century  Success Strategies for people in midlife and reveals plans for her upcoming podcast The Aging Badass; and clinical psychologist Josh Gressel, author of Embracing Envy:  Finding the Spiritual Treasure in Our Most Shameful Emotion, explains why we need to pay attention to our envy and how this emotion that no-one talks about can actually teaches us much about ourselves, our values, and our aspirations. 8pm EST/5pm PST @ www.boostradionetwork.com

I just discovered The National’s Sad Songs For Dirty Lovers. Sometimes life just puts a thing in front of you, and then you can pump it into your being and it’s exactly the thing you need. This album is that thing at this time.

Something happened this weekend that maybe I should have seen coming, but I guess I’ve been too absorbed in all of the things about myself that I’m trying to juggle, and not paying enough attention to other’s needs.

I didn’t have the necessary imagination to draw the picture of what could happen if and when circumstances lined up. When this very thing I should have imagined, this very thing that plenty of other people saw as not only possible, but probable was unfolding right in front of me, I didn’t know how to hold it. Where to put all of the feelings, doubts, fears, and nauseating adrenaline dump. It’s three days later and I’m still holding all of this poison in a basket on my hip, trying to find a good spot to dump it out. 

Sometimes we get lucky and a great, eye-opening event occurs in a way that’s more a hint of what could come if we don’t pay better attention. Sometimes life lets us step up to a problem before it’s full-blown, and hold it in our shaking hands, hold it in our beat-skipping heart until we can see what it’s going to grow into if we don’t take responsibility for its eventuality in this moment, now. This is one of those times. This moment - this long, shimmering moment that may go on for quite some time – is so full of confusion and threaded with clarity. I keep looking. Out here is fog. In here an old mirror with a distorted and cloudy reflection. 

I keep looking. 

I will not look away.