Sometimes I look up into the sky and I ask myself: “Why are you like this?”
I have no special talent, no way of helping people out, I still don’t understand why I’m on this trip.
What’s worse, I’m stuck in an island with the man I have liked since middle school. Weird right? I’m a guy and I like guys, something not often seen and treated as a taboo.
I still haven’t come out of the closet, if you were wondering. My parents… they would’ve burned me alive if I told them I was gay. I still remember those times when I was asked if I had a girlfriend, I would say no and lock myself on my room, crying all night.
Right now I’m doing the same thing, just the mere thought of him rejecting me it’s too much for me to handle.
He has a way of seeing the world very unusual, I used to hate the world, thanks to him I love everything that habits on the world.
I grab my pillow with strength, not wanting to let go, imagining I’m on his arms.
His positive energy can turn my frown upside down. That’s something we don’t have in common.
He’s alway happy, I always pretend I am. He always has a good advice for people, when I can’t even suggest the meal for today. He always helps people out, when I can’t even help myself.
We’re different in so many ways, yet I can’t help but love him.
I got out of my suite and walked out, into the beach. The feeling of the water laping my feet is really calming. When I was little I always wanted to take swimming lessons, but I never convinced my parents.
Then an idea crossed my mind… I inhaled deeply and made my way into the water. The water was cold and felt awful against my jeans, but that didn’t matter anymore.
I finally reached that spot where my feet almost didn’t hit the sand, I moved forward a bit and let myself sink in the water. As I felt the air being taken out of me, I remembered all the people that somehow formed a part of my life, their faces buring deep into my mind.
I closed my eyes as I felt my moment nearing, finally. I smiled. Finally.
But not yet.
In the hem of the moment I didn’t notice a pair I arms grabbing me, pulling me close as the person brought me into the surface. He laid me into the sand as I catched my breath.
“What’s your problem!? Why did you do that!?” He screamed at me. I turned around to answer him.
“Raj-” but stopped midway when I saw the tears on his eyes, it was the first time I saw him cry.
“Don’t do that again, I don’t know what I would’ve done if you had killed yourself.” He rubs his eyes and sighs. “Why did you do it?” I sighed, seeing as there was no way out.
“I like someone and I’m sure they don’t feel the same way, also I have nothing special, it’s like I was brought into the world to steal oxygen…”
“But thats no reason to do that! I’m sure she-” I coughed. “He? Wait, are you gay?” I swallowed hard, worried as ever. “I thought I was the only one…” I stated at him in shock.
“I- You- What?” I didn’t saw that coming, wait, does that meant?
“Um… wanna go out? I just learned a new recipe but I need help…” I still couldn’t believe it.
“Why do you want to go out with me? I’m so different to you…” I felt his arms wrapping me.
“Different is good, I like different.” He leaned in and kisses my forehead. “I like you, Diego.”