mid-city

flickr

Ursulines St. by Kevin O'Mara

This is written from the perspective of a person being screwed over by someone else’s malicious compliance....& I’m loving it.

I work for a medium-size development company in a mid-size City. The company has about ten employees, and we collectively manage a little under 50 million dollars worth of residential and commercial real estate. We are definitely understaffed. The person who owns the company has a temper and, as employees, a lot of what we do is to manage what information she knows about the company to keep her temper in check.

Our longest term employee is our amazing head of facilities who has been with the company for about 8 years and he knows/does EVERYTHING and we are always SOL without him, because he is pretty amazing at his job. He can’t even really take a day off without receiving at least a few phone calls from staff, even on his sick days, we just need him that badly. And, being a great human, he is always there for us.

Well, he made a pretty big mistake on Friday, because he is human, and it really isn’t that a huge deal in that it didn’t cost our company any money, we apologized, and everything is basically fine, however, the woman who owns our company accidentally saw an email about it on someone else’s computer and she lost her shit and he received a one-week suspension….as he has around weeks worth of built up PTO, and even the woman who does HR/payroll thinks the suspension is unjust, it will be paid.

Annnd we are completely falling apart without him. I finally broke down and texted him for help, and he said, “sorry! I’m suspended! Can’t help! Lol”

The woman who owns our company was even asking where he was earlier when she couldn’t find something. It’s already epic, and we’re only one day in. The employee in me is panicking, and the human in me is rubbing hands together in glee.

trick shot (m.)

;pairing — jimin/reader

;warnings — heavy drinking | cursing | oral sex | jimin being sleazy | hoseok being an asshole | lots of pool references | just adult things

;summary — jimin’s the bartender, you’re the billiard hotshot who frequents his bar and challenges him to a clean game of 9-ball after hours. “see if you can make this shot with my hand down your pants” au

;word count — 8k

part i | part i.v | part ii | drabbles

Keep reading

The Cresson House is located at 2809 Esplanade Ave on the Esplanade Ridge. The Queen Ann Center Hall was built in 1902 and is a very unusual style for New Orleans, Queen Anne–style center-hall Victorian house.

Holtzmann probably:

- never properly ties her shoelaces, or doesn’t tie them at all.
- doesn’t match a single pair of socks ever. Matching socks are an AFFRONT to her style
- has broken a bone at least once dancing in the shower
- has sensory processing issues and sometimes needs to sit underneath a blanket like it’s a sweet, dark, warm cocoon to properly think or park herself in a corner with her knees drawn up to her chest and just stare at the wall and *sigh* because the world is tiring sometimes.
- is a little bit(read:very) afraid of people who wear formal business attire on the daily. How do they BREATHE, Erin? how do they BREATHE?
- sometimes forgets how vibrant the world is when she takes her glasses off. Once saw a rainbow, then took off her glasses to look at it again and was so shocked she had to sit down. On the sidewalk. Just right there immediately to look up and admire it. She almost cried. Erin, Abby and Patty didn’t laugh. They just sat down next to her in an impromptu mid-city cuddle huddle.
- once wrote a 7 page fan letter to Bill Nye. It was more recently than any of the other ghostbusters would think. (It was last month. She’s super psyched for his new show, ok?).
- every time she tries to write in words not numbers and symbols and diagrams, it always ends up looking like abstract, broken, somehow beautiful poetry.
- had a stutter as a child.

The Mirage Heist  // Thief!Shawn AU // Part 1

Summary: Shawn is a criminal mastermind and you’re in the wrong place at the wrong time….or was it the right place at the right time?

“This just in, breaking news involving a major bank robbery in downtown today. Officials report over five hundred thousand dollars was stolen from the Mid City Bank only moments ago. Reports indicate that the culprits are on the loose and police are looking for any information on who these criminals are. They were seen pulling up to the bank in a black sedan and entering the building through the front entrance.” The news feed switches from Kelly Knight- the news reporter on duty- to a video from a phone camera within the bank.

“We just got this exclusive footage in the studio. It appears there were four or more men involved. Again, police are asking for any information you might have.” The camera zooms in on a guy with no mask on, only sunglasses and his hood.

The new feed switches to an aerial view of the bank from the News 1 helicopter. A male voice comes over the feed. “It appears the men who entered the bank have just vanished with the money. Authorities seem to be having trouble finding out just how the four men got away. It looks like the state authorities have arrived to assess the situation. More as this story unfolds, back to you Kelly.”

“In light of this situation, reports that no one was injured during the robbery have come in. Officials say the security alarm was hit sometime after the culprits were already inside the bank. No reports as to why it was not hit sooner. We will be back as updates come in. This is Kelly Knight for News 1.”

Keep reading

Werewolves Make Great Friends, and Even Better Babydaddies

Uuuu here, adding content and filling requests for werewolves and (slight) feminization.

Imagine you’re in your room alone, imagining how you would describe your life if you were to write a memoir. Let’s see…You’re a 28 year old guy, rather short at 5'5, with a slim build and decidedly vulpine features. You share an apartment with your best friend in a mid-sized city. You’re a nature photographer and you spend a lot of time in the expansive national parks that surround the urban area. Your best friend is more of a jack-of-all-trades, and is suitably named Jack Rhodes. He’s a rugged looking man best defined by another tagline: tall, dark, and handsome. Jack has no trouble finding hookups. You two met in college, though Jack was working with a construction crew at the college where you studied environmental science and photography. Harboring a slight crush on the hot guy in a hard hat, you had flirted cheekily while passing him by one day. Surprisingly, he was cheeky right back at and you and Jack wound up becoming fast friends. 

As you stare in the mirror you’re reminded by your plumped cock that your crush never quite disappeared. Instead it took a back burner to a strong friendship, but the spark of desire had morphed into a deep appreciation and a want you ignore. He’s too good to be anything but my friend, you remind yourself as you sigh and look into the mirror, arousal fading. It’s a bit hard to keep up a strong self-confidence when someone you find so intensely attractive— oops, intensely awesome— never gave you a serious look but instead gets as much ass as he can… one thin wall away from you. You try to match his number of bedmates to drown out the noise but you always seem to be stuck blushing at his grunts or frowning as you blast music in your headphones.

You shake your head, trying to bring yourself out of these silly musings. You look into the mirror again and shyly admire the latest lingerie you’d treated yourself to. Jack would probably tease you if he ever saw your growing collection of “dainty things.” You know it’d be good-natured teasing but you feel tears pricking nonetheless. I just like to feel pampered sometimes! I know I fight to appear masculine in the rest of my life but to paraphrase the saying, when I go to bed at night I just want to be wearing girly lingerie and wrapped up in the arms of a strong man. I don’t want to always puff up and pretend to be bigger than I am. 

 * * *

You slip into bed and cringe a little when you hear Jack shoving through the doors of the apartment in his hurry to get his latest lay in his bed. You snuggle into your blankets and stroke the edge of the lace panties you’re wearing for comfort as you remind yourself that you have no say in who Jack sleeps with. When you don’t hear a second set of footsteps you become a little more alert.  

Jack knocks on your door. You quickly pull the bedcovers up to your chin to try and prevent any lace from being visible to your friend. He walks in a few moments after knocking and you can immediately tell that something’s up. Jack’s dark curls are even more unruly than usual, his face is flushed, his eyes are half-lidded, and his mouth is slightly open as he pants. You look down past his head. His clothes are disheveled as though he were trying to remove them without understanding how buttons work and his chest is heaving slightly as he pants. 

“Jack? What’s wrong?” 

He walks backward into the door, seemingly started by your voice and his own presence in your room. He tries to speak once and his voice trails off quickly. He tries again, this time managing your name “Aspen,” and the whimpered, “I’m in rut.”

You look at him in confusion before his words sink in. Then you giggle, thinking him drunk. He growls.

“What do you mean “in rut,” Jack?” You question with a smile. “You aren’t an animal. You’re just drunk.” He growls again and you ponder how he’s always had that rather animalistic habit before tossing fantastical thoughts of were-beasts aside. He’s just intoxicated and horny.

He’s still pinned to the door, obviously not wanting to approach you but he cannot resist pulling his rumpled clothing off. You gasp, truly awake now that you can see his fully erect prick for the first time. Your own cock begins to fill, pushing against delicate lace and bedsheets. You sit up, thankful that you decided against donning a bralette before bed. He growls again at the sight of your nipples, licking his lips and pushing his shoulder harder into the wood of your door. Hmm.. wood. You can’t help but peek at his stiff piece again. You look up when he continues speaking, panting lightly between words.

“Aspen… I’m not… drunk” he pauses, “I’m just… inhumanly horny.” He looks at you dead in the eyes and asks you the most absurd question you’ve ever been posed: “Do you believe in werewolves?”

* * *

He keeps talking as you stare at him. “I know that this is hard to believe, but I am one.” He flashes golden wolf’s eyes, fangs, and claws at you to demonstrate his truth. Why he’s revealing this… tidbit now you don’t know because it seems to you that relieving his pent up balls, oh don’t they look delicious, low and heavy with seed, would take priority over telling you his deepest secrets. 

And that’s when you recall the first thing that he said to you– “I’m in rut”–and your dick throbs. 

You think for a second before asking, “….Why did you come in here. Do you…” You cannot help but hope, “need help?”

He looks like he’s about to come on the spot, his dick is red, steel hard, and dripping pre-come copiously onto the floor. “Yes!” He cries out as he finally steps towards the bed, lips descending onto yours as he straddles you. After kissing you feverishly and grinding his bare cock on your thigh through the sheets he rears back, still straddling you, and looks startled at himself. “Sorry, I should’ve asked first. It’s been so long since my last rut that I’ve forgotten how intense it is.” Happy that making out with you helped him catch his breath, counterintuitive though it may be, you grin and assure him you couldn’t be happier to “assist him” in getting off. He grinds against you and leans forward to kiss you before leaning back once more. You grumble at being deprived of him after years of wanting.

“There’s more I have to see if you’re okay with before I do anything.” You nod, curious, but you already trust him with your body and your life. 

“I need to tie with you… which could get you pregnant.” Again, it takes you a few moments to process what he said. You’d pushed aside the whole werewolf thing as quickly as it had come up, sure that it had been a delusion. This probably was too, you decided. A knot? Pregnancy? I’m a guy. No way.

“Ah, that’s okay, Jack. I’ll have your babies as long as you finally get around to fucking me after 8 years of dicking around!” You’re the one growling playfully this time. Jack must be deep enough in his rut to consider that consent informed enough, because within moments the sheets have been plucked from the bed and your small, lingerie-clad body is on display. You flush, having forgotten what you were wearing but judging by the way Jack’s dick flexes and weeps and his eyes flash gold again, he doesn’t mind the lace. His lust is confirmed when he ducks his head down to lick your cockhead through the lace and sniff at your balls. 

You lean back and spread ‘em but find yourself facing the headboard. He’d flipped you onto your knees to investigate the heart-shaped cutout in the panties that offered him perfect access to your tight clench. His fingers and tongue spread your cheeks and slip into your hole just slow enough so he doesn’t hurt you. You writhe on his fingers, hips rolling. Jack pours lube directly into the slight gape left behind by his fingers and follows it promptly by his cock. He is by no means small and you struggle to accommodate his girth a little but soon your hips are undulating in the hopes of dragging him deeper. When you feel his balls press against your skin you almost come. I finally know what Jack feels like! 

He leans forward, forcing your shoulders into the mattress. Your ass is as tilted up as it can go, with your spine fully curved and legs bent and splayed. His cock is deeper than any you’ve ever taken before, thanks to his length and the intense position. His claws lightly pierce the skin on your hips, reconfirming the impossible.

He thrusts into you again and again and again and agin, leaning over to kiss and bite at your shoulder as he breeds you. Breeds… I wonder if he was serious about me getting knocked up? I’m a guy after all, but hey, I didn’t think werewolves were a thing either. It’s a struggle to think through the pleasure he’s giving you but imagining yourself with a big, round, squirming belly is a rather distracting image. It’s also an image that you are really enjoying. Mmph! My stomach all distended and my tits engorged with creamy milk.

“….mhhmm Aspen! I-oh! I don’t think I can hold it anymore!” Even as Jack speaks the base of his cock grows, soon getting stuck inside you and trapping the hot jets of come from his fat cock in your quivering hole. Only once he’s stopped coming and your belly is slightly rounded out with his cream do you realize you’d probably come a few times while getting fucked but were too turned on to notice even a spectacular orgasm.

* * *

Jack fucks you four more times in the next twenty four hours, gaining coherency the further through his rut he gets. This also means he gets more attuned to you, not that he’d been neglectful before, but now he’s talking dirty. And oh, did he love your panty collection! While you were sitting stuffed full by his knot, waiting for the next rutting drive to arise, he was fondling your flat chest through a small purple bra you’d put on and explaining to you why it turned him on, “I’m bisexual, so is it really surprising that a blend of masculinity and femininity get’s me hard?” You see his logic and you’re grateful that he"s more than okay with it. Wow, we’ve gotten intimate in the last few days! Still…

“Did you mean it when you said I’ll get preg-pregnant? It’s pretty obvious from the eyes and claws and the giant knot you’ve got stuck in my ass that you’re not human, so I can’t really fight the whole werewolf thing.” You pause and shift away from him as much as is possible with the knot. “And about that, why didn’t you ever tell me you’re a werewolf!? I thought we were best friends!”

Jack’s face falls somewhat, and his knot quickly reduces to a size manageable enough for him to pull out, come slipping out behind it. “I’ve never told anyone and I’ve always managed my ruts alone before. It was just so sudden, I think coming home and smelling your arousal sparked the urge to breed. And yeah, you’re probably pregnant already.” He looks down at your slightly rounded belly embarrassedly.

You look down at it too and wonder why you are pretty okay with the idea of bearing babies for your best friend. You really don’t mind the thought of waddling, getting foot rubs, pregnant sex with your belly pushed high into the air or pressed into your thighs, even birthing and nursing sound good. You especially don’t mind the thought of seeing babies that look like a mix of you and Jack growing up into beautiful people. You rub your stomach and smile softly at Jack. “I guess we’ll have to start house-hunting for a place by the park to raise our kids in.” He starts smiling too and reaches over to caress your flanks, pausing to feel the texture of the lace under his fingers. “I guess we will.”

-uuuuu I’m not super happy with this (unsurprisingly, since most of it was written at 2 am and it’s not a big fantasy of mine.) I was intending to add in two other requests, male lactation and reasonably sized bellies, but it’s already long af. peace

Moving to A New Home

Moving to a new home can be daunting and complicated at times, especially if it’s something you’re doing on your own. I promise that no matter how stressful it may seem, this process will become exciting and invigorating for you to conquer. Regardless as to whether you’re moving across state lines or to a new country, the adventure begins now! I hope this helps babes.

Before You Move

1. List it up. Make a list of everything that you will need to accomplish before you are ready to move. This includes items that need to be packed, people that need to be contacted, pet accommodations, etc. I love lists, but you may not, so use any organizational technique that works for you.

2. Divide and conquer. After you’ve made your list, organize items based off of how much time they’ll take you. Packing will be fairly time-consuming, so this is something you’ll want to invite friends over for and break up over several days. I like to have “moving” parties whenever I’m getting ready to move, essentially I buy some chips and dip, play some Trap, and invite my friends over to act as my minions. Something like canceling your subscription to Cosmo will take you very little time and energy to do, so it’s something you can do when you’re ready for a stress-free activity.

3. Contact companies. Speaking of canceling your Cosmo subscription, you will need to update your address with all of the companies you use. If you’re no longer going to be using that company, you’ll need to call them and tell them when to end your service. If you’re going to continue to using that company, you’ll have to call them and tell that you’ll need an address change. Give them the exact date you’ll be moving so that they can backdate your information. Some examples of companies:

  • DMV in the county you’re moving to (if you’re going to drive)
  • Your doctor’s office
  • Your college (even if you graduated, they send out alumni letters all the time)
  • Your credit/debit card company
  • Your bank
  • Your phone company
  • Any government programs you’re a part of
  • Any companies that you have loans with
  • Your health insurance company
  • Your auto insurance company
  • Amazon

4. Set up. Nobody likes living without internet in this modern age, so make sure to call your internet/cable provider for your new home and setup an installation date ahead of time. Do the same for your electric company, although they will probably be able to activate your electricity remotely.

5. Send ahead. If possible, send/drop off some of your items ahead of time. If you have a family member or a friend that lives nearby where you’ll be staying, ask if they can hold a few boxes for you. You can also mail yourself packages and ask your local post office to hold them for you, but you’ll need to arrange that ahead of time.

6. Forwarding address. You will inevitably forget something, so make sure to leave your forwarding address and contact information with your landlord, college, ex-roommate, etc.

During Moving

1. Take your time. Don’t try to unpack everything in one day! Take some time to explore your new space, and decide where to put everything in a leisurely way. There is no set schedule for moving.

2. Assistance. If you have friends/family helping you make the move, assign them specific tasks so that nobody spends their time pestering you and asking “what do you need help with?”. You can even decide these tasks ahead of time, during your plane or car ride over.

3. Be neighborly. You’ll likely meet some neighbors during this process, and make sure to stop and greet them, even if you’re in the middle of something. First impressions do matter, even when they shouldn’t, and spending thirty seconds to greet someone in a parking lot may save you a lot of hardship in the long run. Ask your neighbors to recommend local attractions, places to eat, what laundromats to use, etc.

4. Check everything. Walk around your new home and make sure that everything is as it should be. Make sure all the light switches work, all the doors open, that the cabinets are empty, that everything has been cleaned properly, etc. Address anything that is not right immediately in a letter to your new landlord. 

After You’re Settled (Specifically for Living Alone)

1. PKW. Phone, keys, wallet. Every time you go anywhere. Check twice. The worst part of living on your own is having to rely on yourself to never forget to lock yourself out or leave your wallet at a sandwich shop in a mall. Make absolutely sure you have duplicates of your keys (I would get a couple made) and give one to a friend who lives nearby who you can count on. I also like to keep an extra set inside the apartment itself in a secure place, just in case. Your landlord can let you in during office hours, but giving a key to a trustworthy friend helps you 24/7.

2. Cleaning routine. You don’t have to sit down at a writing desk and draft this out, but spend a few minutes coming up with a basic cleaning regime for you to follow. It’s definitely easier to do a little each day, but if that doesn’t work for your schedule set aside at least an hour and a half during your time off to get your apartment spotless. I don’t know about you, but whenever I deep clean my apartment I feel like I’m living in a hotel for a day, and I absolutely love it.

3. Make a “moving” shopping list. This is everything you will need (minus food) for your first week at your new place. Do a big shop, and get all the essentials out of the way: first aid kit, cleaning supplies, tape, cat food, etc. Your first week moving into your new place will be stressful enough, you don’t want to be halfway through setting up your living room and realize that you forgot to buy trash bags.

4. Secure yourself. I’m not the most agile or fast person in the world, and I do live in a mid-sized city that has a good deal of crime. The apartment complex I live in is very safe, but I still like to double lock my front door at night. It might be smart to keep some pepper spray or a baseball bat somewhere in your apartment, just in case.

5. Stay social. Even the most anti-social person gets lonely. Make sure to hang out with your friends, not just your co-workers, your actual friends. Get out off your apartment every few days and go see a movie, get a cup of coffee, go people watching at the park, etc. It’s easy to get depressed if you’re living alone and doing the same things the same way every day- allow yourself to mix it up.

6. Meal prep. It can be stressful and seem useless to cook complicated or “fancy” meals when you’re living on your own. Plan your meals for the week and make a list before going shopping. Get yourself enough food to make a variety of dinners that will only take you fifteen minutes. If you do want to go crazy and make steak and mashed potatoes for yourself, make enough for two meals. Also, nobody is going to think poorly of you for stocking your fridge with a couple frozen dinners.

7. Customer service. Living alone means that you are going to be doing a lot of talking to customer service representatives. Get comfortable talking to people over the phone. Tell the rep what you need as quickly as you can, and try to be polite because customer service at a phone center is a garbage job that doesn’t pay well. On the flip side, don’t be afraid to ask for a manager if you’re upset or unhappy with your service. Take their survey at the end of your phone call, tell them how unhappy you are. It’s someone’s shitty job to look at all those surveys, no complaint goes unheard. Companies with great phone service: Verizon, Apple, Amazon. Companies with awful phone service: USPS (literally the worst), electric companies, health insurance companies.

8. Guest space. This is not required, but it’s a good idea to have some sort of space for a friend to stay the night. A friend of mine had a bad breakup, showed up at my apartment with ten minute’s notice, and then fell asleep on my couch after an hour of crying. It as 7:30! Whatever, she needed it. Keep an extra blanket and pillow in your closet, I like to keep travel sized shampoos and conditioners in my bathroom cabinet on the off chance a guest wants to use my shower. I got these at a hotel for free, but they’re available at CVS and other pharmacies.

9. Toilet paper. Don’t let yourself run out of toilet paper! I like to buy more when I notice I only have one roll left. The same deal goes for paper towels.

10. Enjoy. Living on your own is simoltaneously exciting and exhausting, but an all around must-have experience. Enjoy the freedom to forget to make the bed, to decorate your bathroom however you want, to have ice cream for dinner, to watch reruns of Friends and cry when Rachel decides to move to France. Make sure to give yourself lots of space to move at your own pace, but please remember to eat three meals a day and to go to the doctor’s for a checkup at least once a year!

Making Friends and Staying Social

First things first- we as humans are social creatures. We seek out social interaction, even the most antisocial person in the world still needs the occasional stimulating conversation. Don’t stress about making friends, it’ll happen one way or another.

The best friendships are created organically, but that said, there are some things you can do to quicken the process.

1. Friends by proximity.  Be social and inquisitive when meeting your new co-workers and that openness will help you create fast friendships. Ask lots of questions, people love it when you ask them lots of questions about things. Remember elementary school? Remember how easy it was to make friends then? You’ve got this.

2. Places. Hang out at places that you would normally hang out with your friends. Scope out cool bookstores and cozy coffeeshops, and be on the lookout for similar-minded people. Find reasons to talk to these strangers, whether that means asking them for directions, what they’re drinking, etc. The next time you run into them, you’ll be able to start up a conversation.

3. Events. One of the quickest ways to make lots of new friends is to join a group that meets weekly that does something that’s important to you. This could be anything from a book club, to a Dungeons and Dragons game, to volunteer work. Go to your local library and read the bulletin board looking for groups that interest you. You may have to get on the internet to find something close by. At the very least you’ll have a weekly social event to go to where you won’t feel out of place.

4. Neighborly. This next one depends on you, but if you have cool looking new neighbors introduce yourselves to them. Hit them up at random and say something casual like “I was going to go out for a drink, wanna join?” Planning things in advance puts pressure on acquaintances, so try to be spontaneous.

anonymous asked:

Hello, I love your blog! In a few months I'll be moving to a new city for a new job. I've moved around before, but I've always moved with family members (which makes it easier I think) and this will be my first time living completely alone in a new place. I'm also a bit of an introvert and can have a hard time finding friends. Do you have any tips on making this transition a bit smoother and staying social? Thank you!

Living On Your Own (For the First Time)

1. PKW. Phone, keys, wallet. Every time you go anywhere. Check twice. The worst part of living on your own is having to rely on yourself to never forget to lock yourself out or leave your wallet at a sandwich shop in a mall. Make absolutely sure you have duplicates of your keys (I would get a couple made) and give one to a friend who lives nearby who you can count on. I also like to keep an extra set inside the apartment itself in a secure place, just in case. Your landlord can let you in during office hours, but giving a key to a trustworthy friend helps you 24/7.

2. Cleaning routine. You don’t have to sit down at a writing desk and draft this out, but spend a few minutes coming up with a basic cleaning regime for you to follow. It’s definitely easier to do a little each day, but if that doesn’t work for your schedule set aside at least an hour and a half during your time off to get your apartment spotless. I don’t know about you, but whenever I deep clean my apartment I feel like I’m living in a hotel for a day, and I absolutely love it.

3. Make a “moving” shopping list. This is everything you will need (minus food) for your first week at your new place. First aid kit, cleaning supplies, tape, cat food, etc. Your first week moving into your new place will be stressful enough, you don’t want to be halfway through setting up your living room and realize that you forgot to buy trash bags.

4. Secure yourself. I’m not the most agile or fast person in the world, and I do live in a mid-sized city that has a good deal of crime. The apartment complex I live in is very safe, but I still like to double lock my front door at night. It might be smart to keep some pepper spray or a baseball bat somewhere in your apartment, just in case.

5. Stay social. Even the most anti-social person gets lonely. Make sure to hang out with your friends, not just your co-workers, your actual friends. Get out off your apartment every few days and go see a movie, get a cup of coffee, go people watching at the park, etc. It’s easy to get depressed if you’re living alone and doing the same things the same way every day- allow yourself to mix it up.

6. Meal prep. It can be stressful and seem useless to cook complicated or “fancy” meals when you’re living on your own. Plan your meals for the week and make a list before going shopping. Get yourself enough food to make a variety of dinners that will only take you fifteen minutes. If you do want to go crazy and make steak and mashed potatoes for yourself, make enough for two meals. Also, nobody is going to think poorly of you for stocking your fridge with a couple frozen dinners.

7. Customer service. Living alone means that you are going to be doing a lot of talking to customer service representatives. Get comfortable talking to people over the phone. Tell the rep what you need as quickly as you can, and try to be polite because customer service at a phone center is a garbage job that doesn’t pay well. On the flip side, don’t be afraid to ask for a manager if you’re upset or unhappy with your service. Take their survey at the end of your phone call, tell them how unhappy you are. It’s someone’s shitty job to look at all those surveys, no complaint goes unheard. Companies with great phone service: Verizon, Apple, Amazon. Companies with awful phone service: USPS (literally the worst), electric companies, health insurance companies.

8. Guest space. This is not required, but it’s a good idea to have some sort of space for a friend to stay the night. A friend of mine had a bad breakup, showed up at my apartment with ten minute’s notice, and then fell asleep on my couch after an hour of crying. It as 7:30! Whatever, she needed it. Keep an extra blanket and pillow in your closet, I like to keep travel sized shampoos and conditioners in my bathroom cabinet on the off chance a guest wants to use my shower. I got these at a hotel for free, but they’re available at CVS and other pharmacies.

9. Toilet paper. Don’t let yourself run out of toilet paper! I like to buy more when I notice I only have one roll left. The same deal goes for paper towels.

10. Enjoy. Living on your own is simoltaneously exciting and exhausting, but an all around must-have experience. Enjoy the freedom to forget to make the bed, to decorate your bathroom however you want, to have ice cream for dinner, to watch reruns of Friends and cry when Rachel decides to move to France. Make sure to give yourself lots of space to move at your own pace, but please remember to eat three meals a day and to go to the doctor’s for a checkup at least once a year!

Making Friends

First things first- we as humans are social creatures. We seek out social interaction, even the most antisocial person in the world still needs the occasional stimulating conversation. Don’t stress about making friends, it’ll happen one way or another.

The best friendships are created organically, but that said, there are some things you can do to quicken the process.

1. Friends by proximity.  Be social and inquisitive when meeting your new co-workers and that openness will help you create fast friendships. Ask lots of questions, people love it when you ask them lots of questions about things. Remember elementary school? Remember how easy it was to make friends then? You’ve got this.

2. Places. Hang out at places that you would normally hang out with your friends. Scope out cool bookstores and cozy coffeeshops, and be on the lookout for similar-minded people. Find reasons to talk to these strangers, whether that means asking them for directions, what they’re drinking, etc. The next time you run into them, you’ll be able to start up a conversation.

3. Events. One of the quickest ways to make lots of new friends is to join a group that meets weekly that does something that’s important to you. This could be anything from a book club, to a Dungeons and Dragons game, to volunteer work. Go to your local library and read the bulletin board looking for groups that interest you. You may have to get on the internet to find something close by. At the very least you’ll have a weekly social event to go to where you won’t feel out of place.

4. Neighborly. This next one depends on you, but if you have cool looking new neighbors introduce yourselves to them. Hit them up at random and say something casual like “I was going to go out for a drink, wanna join?” Planning things in advance puts pressure on acquaintances, so try to be spontaneous.

If any of my followers have any ideas, please chime in! And good luck!