micro aggression

vieralynn replied to your postman, if you literally don’t get that basic white…

I want to write a rant about da fandom micro aggressions and how canon encourages it.

and i would read and applaud it.  canon absolutely enables this bullshit by the choices the devs made not just in origins, but in subsequent games.  like all the white romanceable characters from origins get a cameo, but the one hispanic dude?  you get a letter ONLY IF YOU NEVER ROMANCED HIM.  because who would ever romance the lower class hispanic elf when they could date the basic white boy who could make you a queen, right?  default customizable characters are always white.  straight dude romances are always white (and the one bi white dude [anders] passes for straight in a female game).  poc romanceable characters are often hypersexualized (zevran, isabela, arguably iron bull [he’s too inhuman to get a pure reading, but his va is part hispanic], even dorian who has been revealed to be into debauchery and his backstory is literally limited to his sexuality).  anything and everything said by vivienne is ignored and she is constantly attacked for daring to contradict anders.  i’m supposed to believe the value placed on a white man’s opinion is greater than the value placed on a black woman’s opinion because no one is racist?  uh huh.

i also get mad when anders’s fans act like they have it the worst in da:i, like literally any fan of da2 or zevran gets fucked by the story, but all they care about is the lack of attention paid to their pet basic white boy?  oh, heavens, someone disapproved of anders murdering an awful lot of people!  bioware hates him the most!  the neglect of all those poc characters clearly doesn’t matter in the slightest, because heavens, we can’t have anyone speaking ill of or ignoring a white man!!!!  *grinds teeth*

i’m mad

anonymous asked:

loool jay this morning i literally read a line of a fic where they described blaine's skin color as "not tan; but coffee colored, like espresso mixed with just enough milk" like.... that's some micro aggressions man lmao

LOLOLO H F

OHHHHH MY GOOOOODDDDDD NO

“nono he’s NOT tan, he has JUST ENOUGH MILK TO PASS AS WHITE DON’T WORRY SHH”

anonymous asked:

True true. But when you look at gender roles and gender essentialism, those are things that affect men also (again, much less than women) and are technically categorized under "sexism". I was just not aware that shaming included systemic oppression. I thought beauty standards was the systemic part and fatphobia and fat shaming were micro aggressions of prejudices hence why I thought skinny shaming was a thing. My bad on that part.

Gender roles and gender essentialism are the fault of the patriarchy at large. You can’t really fault a marginalized group (i.e. women) for the backlash of a system built against them. “Boys will be boys” and all that nonsense was born out of cishet white dudes trying to define what it means to be a man for everyone else… and whomever doesn’t fit that narrow concept receives some degree of shame or abuse. And, yes, while terrible and inexcusable and ridiculous, I wouldn’t really call that “sexism”. Just like the breakdown of the word “racism”, “sexism” is an “-ism” which denotes *systems* of oppression, not just someone in the privileged group not fitting the box society tries to define for them.

It’s the same kind of concept with fat people, where things about being fat are assumed and speculated and then stereotyped into perceived truths. That only *kind of* happens to skinny people. And few people look at skinny people and think “wow, they’re unhealthy”, except when they are too gangly and slender to fit society’s proposed ideal. However, anything over a certain size in the opposite direction is stigmatized exponentially.

-ren

Common Micro-aggressions: African Americans and/or
Black People

Anonymous said: What are some common micro-aggressions that a black american will regularly have to deal with?

Behold this masterpost of common micro-aggressions towards African Americans and/or people in the African Diaspora, several of which may be applicable to other PoC. Micro-aggressions can be perpetuated by White people as well as fellow Black people and People of Color.

This is just to give a thorough understanding of some of the things a Black person (often in America) deals with. Don’t run forward and jam-pack your Black character with every one of these experiences, though I can say I’ve personally experienced every one of these or know someone who has.

General Micro-aggressions

  • People excusing blackface.
  • Having our grammar and annunciation corrected.
  • “I don’t see you as a Black person/ I don’t see colour.”
  • Calling Black people ghetto, thugs, rachet, sassy, urban…
  • People debating why they should be allowed to say the n-word.
  • Then saying the n-word anyway.
  • Whispering, spitting, or stumbling over the word "Black” as if it’s a curse.
  • Refusing to pronounce your name right, or just calling you by a different name that’s easier.
  • Alternatively, “jokingly” calling you a “ghetto” name.
  • Constantly mixing up unrelated and not even resembling Black people, because you know.. ‘Black people all look the same’.
  • Dismissing our experiences as “just overreacting,” defending the wronging party, or using our plight to talk about one’s own experience (e.g. “well as a gay man i’ve got it rough…”).
  • Telling racist jokes and calling you sensitive when you don’t find it funny.
  • “______  is the new civil rights movement!” Black folks are still fighting for their rights so…

Media

  • Fox news (xD)
  • Caricatured depictions of Black people on TV.
  • Casting calls for Black people only tailored for “race roles.”
  • Media treating white criminals and killers better than Black victims (see these headlines).

Stereotypes

  • Assuming you only listen to rap/hip-hop/r&b.
  • Assuming you love chicken, Kool-aid, and/or smoke weed.
  • Assuming you’re good at sports.
  • Assuming there’s no father in the picture in Black families.
  • Assuming all Black people (see: young girls) have children.
  • Calling Black people who don’t conform to one’s image of Blackness, “less black,” acting white or “oreo.”

AAVE

  • Non-Black People mimicking/imitating AAVE.
  • People falling into AAVE when talking to Black People.
  • “Why don’t Black people speak real English instead of ‘ebonics’?”

Insults/doubting intelligence:

  • You’re so articulate!”
  • You take advanced classes?!”
  • “How did she get into that [prestigious school and/or program]?”
  • “They only got x because they’re Black/Affirmative action.”
  • Assuming a Black person (usually male) attends college because of a sports scholarship.
  • Counselors discouraging Black students to take prestigious coursework, assuming it’s too difficult for them.

 Respectability politics:

  • “You’re a credit to your race.”
  • “I’m glad you’re not like those other Black people. You’re not ghetto or listen to that rap stuff..”
  • Tone policing: dismissing someone’s reaction/argument/etc. because they are too “emotional.” Thinking that we need to be calm in order to be taken seriously. 
  • Pitting African immigrants against African Americans, especially those coming to America for education, aka “Good Blacks.”

Beauty Standards and Dating

Fetishization/Othering

  • People asking you what you are or where you’re really from.
  • Referring to Black people or our features as “exotic.”
  • Referring to Black people’s skin as chocolate or other foods.

Black Women/Misogynoir

  • Saying Black women are ”strong, independent and don’t need no man.“
  • Calling Black women ”sassy“ or angry if she shows passion/emotion.
  • Referring to white and non-black women as "girls” and “women” while calling Black women “Females.”
  • [White] males who apply courtesy to white women (holding doors, giving up seat) but don’t apply the same to Black women.
  • Referring to Black women on government assistance as “welfare queens” (While ignoring that white people get more government assistance than Black people in the USA).
  • “Black women All woman are beautiful.” (Stop. That. Please.)

Hair.

  • People touching/petting your hair without consent.
  • “So is that your real hair? Are those extensions?”
  • Calling natural black hair unprofessional.
  • White people appropriating Black hair styles (dreads, twists, etc) and being praised as edgy, while it’s “ghetto, unprofessional, and unclean” on our own heads.

Poverty Assumptions:

  • “Do you live in the ghetto?”
  • “Can you afford that?”
  • “Here are the value prices of this product…”

Racial Profiling + Criminalization:

  • Crossing the street to avoid passing Black men/people.
  • Following in stores, assuming Black people are stealing.
  • Moving aside when we pass, clutching purse, locking doors.
  • Asking Black people for I.D. when paying with card (while white people are not asked).
  • Being pulled over + arrested at astonishingly higher rates than white people.

For a fuller understanding of micro aggressions and the effects it has on individuals overtime, please see this: “These incidents may appear small…”

~Mods: Colette and Alice

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ONE THING YOU SHOULD NEVER CALL AN ATTRACTIVE WOMAN

There are many ways to kindly and respectfully compliment the way a woman looks. But one descriptor that should be left out of such comments? “Exotic.”

Cristen Conger of the How Stuff Works podcast, Stuff Mom Never Told You, takes on the topic of “exotic” beauty.

Watch the full video with Conger explaining how Lupita Nyong'o was “extocized” during the 2014 Oscar season here. 

Exotic means there, not here. Them, not us. You, but definitely not me. Exotic is a word defined by the speaker’s perspective, which assumes dominance and normalcy over the person being called exotic.
— 

I’m not a parrot. So don’t call me exotic.

It’s a micro-aggression. It’s a backhanded compliment. And it’s simply inaccurate.

twisting-whitecap asked:

I really like being typically girly and etc but whenever I bring up feminism or equal rights im never taken seriously. People laugh at me when I'm really mad about rape culture and whatnot and I get told "you're so cute when you're mad" and i PUBLIC

I just don’t know how to handle this response because whenever I express how demeaning that is I get told it was a compliment and I’m overreacting. Do you have any tips for dealing with this?

Don’t be friends with/hang out around people who belittle your emotions and demean you when you are expressing yourself.  That’s my advice, sorry that it’s so blunt but it’s really the best advice I can give.  Be friends with people who respect you, and “Haha you’re mad, how cute” or “Stop overreacting I was just joking” is NOT respectful.  It is sexist micro-aggression.

Super random but I remember a few summers ago I went over to this white (yes, her whiteness is relevant to the story *eyeroll*) girl’s house to hang out for the first time and she was like “hey do you want some watermelon? I know you like watermelon.” And snickered, and I just sorta gave her a side eye and let it go because I really did want some watermelon, but then she went to cut the watermelon and from the kitchen was like “You’re black, know of any special watermelon cutting secrets?”, and I was too uncomfortable at the time to speak up but I hope somehow she knows that her racist comments and constant micro-aggression are why I haven’t seen her since. Fuckin’ racists, man.

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Amandla Stenberg - Don’t Cash Crop On My Cornrows. I Love Amandla Stenberg 👏✊😍😘🙌 GO AWFFFF BABY GIRL!!!✊👏😍😘🙌😋 Black Culture is more than just a trend; Its our history. Don’t dilute it or “white-wash” it.

evie-a asked:

How do you properly deal with everyday racism in novels that aren't about racism but are set in modern day? Specifically racism against black people. E.g. Police brutality, stereotypes ("Are you part of the cleaning staff?" "Are you the first one in your family to go to college?" "Is your dad still around?"), name-associations ("Your name is *stereotypical AfricanAmerican name* they're not going to hire you").

Incorporating Micro-Aggressions in Writing

Since you’ve asked about racism geared specifically towards Black people take a look at the post Common Micro-aggressions: African Americans and/or Black People.

As for including micro-aggressions into a story, here are some pointers:

Mind Intersectionality: Many things factor in and how and what racism a PoC might face such as being a Black man vs. a woman due to associated stereotypes, being fat, trans, gay, dark-skinned vs. light-skinned and so on. 

For example: a middle to upper-class Black person who dresses, speaks, and acts in a way that conforms to society ideals of upstanding will likely be slapped with respectability politics more regularly (she’s not like those other Black girls/ I’m Blacker than you/you’re an oreo/) versus one who doesn’t.

They might be more often be viewed as ghetto and trashy, have AAVE spoken back to them mockingly, their speech corrected, overall treated more poorly, but note: respectability doesn’t save even the most “socially-acceptable” Black people, especially the moment one acts in a way they don’t like (e.g. passion or any raise of the emotion = angry, sassy, a violent threat).

Anti-Blackness is a Thing: Prejudice doesn’t just come from White people, but from People of Color too, especially towards Black people (there’s a version of the n-word through multiple cultures). Solidarity among PoC is not a given. I’ve faced store-following, stereotyping, and lack of understanding of my struggles from Non-white people too. I don’t encourage placing much of this in your story, but it feels like omission to leave out this fact. Although I’d actually like to see more POC solidarity and relationships in stories.

Don’t overdo it. If the character’s arc is not meant to be about racism, then don’t make it about racism. Facing micro aggressions is a part of their life, but not the subplot of their story. I don’t have a magical number of how many you should include (though 1-4 is plenty), however every situation they stumble in shouldn’t include a racist encounter.

They Can Come from Anyone: You really never know where you’re going to get hit with racism and from whom. I’ve encountered extremely kind old white men and extremely racist purse-clutching middle-aged white woman (and the exact reverse!). Realistically, one can’t necessarily know who will be/say racist things. Location is a factor too, such as being in a place where people aren’t use to PoC being around (which often onsets staring and suspicion, though it can happen anywhere).

Consider other daily struggles: I once read a story where a Black woman, being held against her will, was given provisions and being forced to ‘be comfortable’ and make any requests she wished, to which she noted how the provided shampoos wouldn’t work for her hair and requested the right products.

If micro-aggressions are being included for realism’s sake, note that blatant micro-aggressions are not the only way to go when including indicators for that ‘authentic’ touch. Sometimes it’s a matter of not being able to find your foundation color at a store or, alternatively, being surprised when you do (stores seem to be getting better at this these days).

Writing Reactions to Micro-Aggressions

Reactions to micro-aggressions vary. Consider a character’s situation and/or personality on what you feel their reaction might be to racism. Sometimes it’s not possible to act on the way one feels inside, such as in a work, formal situation, or given power dynamics.

Here are some starters:

  • Condemning silence, frown or look
  • Closed-off behavior (Crossing arms, looking away)
  • Visual discomfort (Uncomfortable laughter, shifting stance)
  • Questioning self (Did that just happen? Did he really just call me that?)
  • Brushing it off. “Whatever.” “This happens all the time.” “Let’s just go.”
  • Forced friendliness (Like smiling, but gritting your teeth at the ignorance)
  • Snarky refute of comment (You call me chocolate? I’ll call you mayo.)
  • Telling off or calling out the behavior (“That was rude.” “Why would you say that?”)
  • Verge of tears or having some fall (whether in frustration, sadness or both. More likely if they’re not used to this treatment, but everyone is different. I teared up the first time a white woman clutched her purse when I walked by. Now I roll my eyes to outer space.)

NOTE: No matter what reaction an affected character has, you, the author, should not dismiss this behavior and therefore ‘okay’ it to the audience. Showing it is wrong in some way or another (using another character, refuting the prejudice thought later) is ideal.

I hope this was helpful to you and happy writing,

~Mod Colette

Frida Kahlo painted about micro aggressions long before the term was coined

Unos cuantos piquetitos, por Frida Kahlo (a few small nips)

A newspaper report about an unfaithful woman murdered in an act of jealousy provided Kahlo with the subject matter for this work. The murderer defended his actions before the judge by saying: “But it was just a few small nips!” The violent deed makes symbolic reference to Frida’s own mental state and her own emotional injuries.

source 

see how micro aggressions work: bit by bit a few snips can, will and does kill us! Got this connection at the retreat I had on Monday w/my new staff! Facilitator TO was everything!

So we were having a family meal and everyone was having a good time and after we’d all finished eating i had left some on my plate, it was just some sides that i didn’t like, mainly broccoli and carrots. My mother questioned me on why i didn’t eat it all and i simply said i didn’t like it, well this turned into a scene with my mother repeating the line you’re a growing boy you need to eat it. However when i pointed out that her and my uncle had left similar amounts i was completely dismissed “you can make you’re own decisions when you’re an adult.” I was completely outraged but ate it anyway to shut her up. So the message i got was adults got free choice while children get broccoli.

(submitted by patriachyandfriends)

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MASCULINITY IS SAD

Once again, masculinity defies definition. The men can’t answer the question without making a joke out of it, and when they don’t make a joke out if, the statements they make can easily apply to females as much as males. And the most serious of the respondents couldn’t define masculinity, he could only define being human (he was the most coherent of the respondents.) One of the females expressed a homophobic micro-aggression (as did one of the males later on) by stating that masculinity equalled ‘being attracted to females’, hence furthering the stereotype that not being attracted to females makes one 'unmasculine’ and therefore 'not a man’. This only goes to show that masculinity is a complete fraud. The sooner non-heterosexual males reject this idiocy of trying to 'be masculine’, the sooner we ALL step into our own power and get liberated.