michoolle

Anon asked: 

Headcanon that Ray comes off as the most passive member, never really doing crazy stuff. But it’s a little known fact that he is the one who provokes the others to do the crazy. He gives the idea and watches as they do it, works every time


Ray wants to watch TV but the others are hogging it. “Dude, sweet headshot. Wouldn’t it be cool if you could do that stunt in real life?” “Of course you can’t fucking do this shit in real life, Ray.” “I don’t know, Michool, you probably could.” “No you fucking can’t! That’s not how physics works!” the next thing you know money is getting bet, supplies are gathered, Geoff’s getting drunk enough to watch this shit, and in the span of fifteen or twenty minutes everyone’s out the door and Ray has the TV all to himself.

Ray’s bored and nobody is willing to get their asses handed to them in CoD. “Hey, Michael, what would even happen if you hit one of those smoke bombs you made with a baseball bat?” “Why would you ask that?” “Wait, no, now I’m curious.” “Ryan, you’re not hitting one of my smoke bombs with a baseball bat!” “Not without getting filmed he’s not.” “Jack, no!” “Jack yes!” “Are you saying a baseball bat is going to wreck your bomb?” “Fuck you, Ray, I’m saying the bat will probably break.” “So there’s no real problem because it won’t even go off?” “We’re not hitting it with a bat!” “If it won’t break, I don’t see why not. Unless it will break.” “Fuck you, Ramsey, I know how to make bombs, it won’t fucking break and I’ll prove it to you!” and now he’s entertained.

The heist is actually going well for once. “Dude, this is so smooth I bet I could do this all one handed.” “Ray, please don’t finish the heist one handed.” “Yes, Mom.” “I don’t know, I think Ray can do it.” “What? No, Gavin shut up, I’m not going one handsy. Gatta jerk myself off with something at the end of the day.” “Well I bet I could do it.” “Gavin, don’t be an idiot.” “Yeah, no, that’s a really dumb idea.” “No! I think I can really do it!” “I’m with Gavin on this one,” “Jeremy, why?” “You going one handed with me, Lil’ J?” “Hell yeah, Gav.” Ray groans. Why does he have to open his fucking mouth?