michal clifford imagines

5SOS Throwing Shade at Abigail

Because its just come up in a recent interview(and because I think its funny) here is a bunch of times where they threw shade at Abigail because of the song she wrote call You Suck about Michael. 

When they were on with Kyle and Jackie O(Ashton said it btw)

Playing thw Yes/No game with Smallzy

Again with Smallzy

On the Shazam-A-Hang with Angus and Ash

And we can’t forget Michael’s tweets

Why don’t we add Luke and Calum in their as well?

And just for fun here is some shade that us lovley fans and friends pf the band had to throw 

And lastly my favorite of them all

Anyway I love this fandom and I greatly dislike Abigail Breastmilk.

Have a nice day.

Dating Michael would Include:
  •  Waking up before him, which would still be pretty late in the day
  • Trying everything humanely possible to wake up your sleeping boyfriend
  • Eventually pouring a bucket of water on him gets him to wake up
  • “What the hell Y/N”
  • Him holding your waist from behind as you make breakfast
  • Or lunch depending on how you look at it
  • Eventually deciding to order pizza
  • Spending the rest of the day in baggy clothes watching movies            surrounded by empty pizza boxes
  • “We’ve literally done nothing today Michael”

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You Fight But Get Sick - Luke

Requested: Yes

Summary: Luke and you get in a fight but you get ill.

Warning: None.

Originally posted by hemmingslip

It was bound to happen. With him busy with the new album and the tour rehearsals and you busy with your upcoming exams you both were on edge and it would only take one small petty little thing to set you both off.

You both had managed to take some time off your hectic schedules and has planned a date. You supposed to go and watch a newly released movie together. You got ready for your date and went the lounge and waited for him to get back from the studio, he was supposed to get back any minute now.

He was 10 minutes late but you weren’t really angry or worried yet as you kind of expected this, he wasn’t really known to be punctual. So to pass time you decided to watch t.v.

He was 30 minutes late. By now you were starting to get angry at him, if he was going to be late the least he could do was text you to tell you he wouldn’t be able to get there on time.

It had almost been an hour now. By now you were extremely worried and mad at him. You had tried calling him and messaged him multiple times but he had yet to call or text back, this made you worry something bad at had happened to him. What if he got into a car crash? or maybe he got robbed or something on his way back? but before you could worry too much the sound of the door opening pulled you out of your train of thoughts.

You stood up to see your boyfriend quietly entering your shared apartment. When he saw you standing there, all dressed up, he was surprised. “Hey, what are you doing up at this time?” He asked.

“What am I doing up at this time?” You repeated his question in disbelief, all your worry for him was turning into anger. It was obvious he had forgotten about your date, and normally you would’ve understood considering how hard he has to work at the studio writing and composing new songs but right now you were angry to think about that.

“You know what, I can’t believe you,” You growled as you watched his eyebrows furrow into confusion and then raise as he remembered.

“I’m sorry, I really am. I got really busy at the studio, we were recording some new song for the bands next album,” He apologised feeling tired and exhausted.

“Its always about the band isn’t it, it’s always about the next tour or the next album your going to release or the song you have to write for the band,” You hissed at him.

“Well, if you haven’t noticed it is my job. You haven’t got idea of how hard me and boys have to work, it’s not like I want to stay away from you and my family I have to make sacrifices,” He defensively snarled back.

“You don’t think I work, do you think it’s easy for me to study and keep a job at the same time? I could been studying for my exams but I was here waiting for you to show up,” You argued back.

You both were throwing vicious words, that you would never say normally, at each other. This kept going on until finally Luke spoke, “You know what I’m tired of this, I need get away.” As you watched him get his car keys and jacket you felt a strange bad feeling in your stomach.


When Luke finally got back from his 30 minute drive around town he was a lot more calm and relaxed. He thought about the argument you two had and he understood why you were so mad at him but he was slightly mad at you from not understanding things from his point of view.

When he got home it was strangely quiet, he expected you to come and ask him where he had  been but you were no where in sight. Starting to panic he ran to the kitchen just to see that it was empty. When he saw that there was no-one in the bedroom he had thought that you had left him however before he could do anything else he heard noises of  retching coming from the toilet.

When he opened the toilet door he was met with the sight of you throwing up into the toilet. He ran to your side and held your hair back as you threw up, grimacing when the smell of the vomit hit his nose. He gently rubbed your back trying to comfort you. After you cleaned up he led you to your bedroom and lied down with. Pulling you up to his chest, he rested his on yours and softly sighed. And even though he hadn’t said a word to you, this was his way of telling you its going to be okay 

the day after tomorrow - ii

michael clifford & y/n
word count - 5080
rating - nc-17
warnings - language, sexual content

read part one here


Your eyes shot open at the sound of his voice. The street light outside the window provided the only source of illumination into your bedroom, and you could just about make out the shape of your 3 year old son’s frame standing beside your bed: tightly clutching the slightly tattered, stuffed lion that he couldn’t sleep without.

Keep reading

Hanging by a thread (Drowning part 2)


Word count: 1000



“Y/N!!” You heard Luke’s familiar voice call out, but you couldn’t open your eyes.
The last memory you could recall was going to the restaurant, but for the life of you couldn’t understand what was going on.
It was like you were trapped in your own head, running in circles, but not going anywhere, standing in the same place still.
“Oh god, Y/N what did you do? Holy shit baby please open your eyes.” You heard him beg again.
You could feel hand connect with you face in efforts to wake you, but it didn’t.
“Please for the love of god please wak-” You could tell something had caught his attention and interrupted his sentence.
“Holy shit Y/N, did you take these?” He asked, obviously referring to the bottle of pills lying on the floor.
“Oh my- No, No, No, Please don’t leave me.” He pleaded.
You could feel him lift your body up so you your chest was leaning over the tub, shoving his finger down your throat at an attempt to clean out what might have been there and
your body reacted to his actions, making your stomach contract and immediately throwing up the contents.
“There you go darlin, come one now, wake up.”
He coached.
As if on cue you felt your eyes flutter open and you were faced with a disheveled looking Luke.
“Holy shit Y/N you scared the hell out of me. What happened? Why did you take so many of theses?” He asked with concern, and your brain began flooding with memories.
“I-I was hurting.” You started,. “Everything was hurting.” He looked down at you sympathetically. “Did I make you hurt Y/N? Did you do this because of me?” Almost instantly you remembered how and why you were here. It was because of Luke, he told you he told you he didn’t need you and treated you like crap.
You pulled his grip off you and he looked shocked, almost as if he didn’t know why you did it.
As silence filled the room you finally took in your surroundings, realizing that you were fully naked in front of Luke, so you moved your hands to cover your breasts.
“Get out.” You spoke, your voice trembling terribly as you tried to regain control of your body.
“I’m not gonna just leave you by yourself baby.” He spoke, he tried to rub your cheek but you backed away.
“Don’t call me that. You don’t get to call me baby.” You frowned angrily.
“You said you didn’t love me Luke, hell you even ignored me for half the night!! What did I do to deserve that?” You voice cracked mid way through your sentence, but you knew the effect was still the same.
“Y/N” He spoke carefully.
“Please, let’s not argue. You need to get cleaned up and I’ll take you to the hospital.” His stern voice let out.
“No.” You replied, “Stop fucking acting like you care.”
“I do care!! I walked blocks trying to find you..”
“Why Luke? So the guys wouldn’t think you were that much of a heartless basterd? He sat there quietly, so you took that as a sign to get out.
“Can you just get out? I have to get out.”
Without arguing he stood up and left, closing the door behind him.
Shakily you stood up, depending solely upon the edge of the bathtub for support.
You picked up your undergarments and slipped them on, immediately grabbing the hot pink tooth brush and brushing your teeth.
Once you had finished you stepped out of the bathroom. Noticing Luke’s shirtless frame sitting on the bed.
You turned out the bathroom light and crawled into bed, ganging Luke’s attention.
“Please talk to me Y/N” He asked from the other side of the bed.
“Are you fucking insane? You treated me like I wasn’t anything, you didn’t talk to me, you hardly wanted to look at me… Then you say you don’t love me.”
You could here him sigh loudly as he turned so his stomach was facing your back.
“You know I didn’t mean that. I just… I was just angry.”
“Why? What did I do?” “You didn’t do anything, I just saw you talking and laughing with Ashton that day and, I got pissed.”
“Seriously Luke? You fucking embarrass me and treat me like a dog because I was taking to Ashton? Do you know how dumb you sound?” You yelled widely. You were now beyond pissed and Luke was the cause.
“Please calm down.“ He pleaded, rolling over and grabbing your legs.
“I’m sorry!! What I did was dumb and I lashed out on you for no reason. Please don’t break up with me.” He spoke, his normally rough voice now barley above a whisper.
You pushed his hands off your thighs, roughly.
You felt bad about it but it’s what he did that caused this.
“You made that decision when you acted like an ass. Luke. You can’t treat people like dirt because your pissed.” You spoke, rolling onto your side.
“But…. I love you Y/N. I know what I did was wrong. But don’t forget that I do love you okay? Please? Even if you hate me for what ever else I did. Don’t forget that I love you.”
His words came out like a poem, and you turned back to face him.
“Luke?” You called out into the darkness, and he turned around.
Even in the pitch black you could make out his facial features, and without warning him your crashed your lips onto his.

Luke Hemmings: Nerd

Pairing: Nerd!Luke and Y/N

Word Count: 970+

Rating: Smut

Requested: Nope

(Nerdy Luke and cheerleader Y/N)

I walked through the narrow hallways, like any other day. I had my red and white cheer uniform on and my team water bottle in my hand as I made my way back from practice and to my locker before I go home to probably just watch Netflix and fall asleep.

Sighing, I got whatever text books and folders I needed for homework that night. I headed down the hall, to the exit to leave that was until I heard the faint sound of a whimper. I furrowed my eyebrows following the sound.

A gasp left my lips as I found Luke Hemmings, the school nerd, with a bloody nose against the lockers.

“Luke! What happened?” I quickly got down to my knees to get a better look at him.

“N-nothing, I..um..fell” He strutted, making it obvious that he was lying to me. I decided to let it go and I stood back on my feet, holding out my hand to help him up.

“Come with me, I’ll get you cleaned up” I gave him a soft smile and he took my hand, standing up.  He dusted himself off, running his hand through his hair.

“I’m okay, really” Luke looked down at his feet them back to me.

“I’m not letting you go home like this, just come with me. I don’t bite” I giggled, pulling him towards the door.

Once we got to my car, I could tell that he was confused but I just unlocked it, getting into the driver’s side. He didn’t say anything and only got into my car. I started the car, driving towards my house.

“I thought you were going to get me cleaned up?” He questioned.

“Yea, we’re going to my house” I looked over to him before turning on the radio to whatever song was playing by ‘Clean Bandit’. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him nod and bite his lip.

I had to admit, for a nerd he was pretty hot. Even with the glasses he was really good looking.

When we got my house, I got out and went to the door, unlocking it and motioning Luke to follow, which he did.

“Come into the kitchen” I waved him over, as he followed me into the kitchen. I turned my back towards him, bending down to get the first aid kit. I grabbed it and came back up to face him, smirking to myself when his face was cherry red. I knew he took a peek under my skirt.

I took the box and hopped onto the counter, calling him closer. I watched as he gulped, standing in front of me so our faces were only inches away.

“This might sting” I warned softly, taking a wipe and running it over his busted lip, earning a hiss from him.  I cleaned the dried blood from his nose set the wipe down. I let my eyes travel down to his lips, leaning closer to connect our lips.

I felt him tense in shock but quickly kiss back, in less than a few seconds the kiss became heated. The kiss became quick and needy, pulling away to catch our breaths.

“Let’s go to my room” I breathed out earning an eager nod from him. I took his hand, walking through the house, swaying my hips. I could practically feel his eyes on me until we reached my bedroom. I opened the door and pulled Luke in.

“Sit on the bed, baby” I purred and he quickly did. I positioned myself on the floor in front of him. My hands immediately went to his pants, unbuttoning them and pulling them down around his ankles. I could already see through his boxers how hard he was.

Teasing him, I found the tip of his cock through the fabric and placed a kiss on it.

“P-please y/n” Luke groaned, shifting on the bed slightly. I pulled his boxers down to his ankles and gave him a long lick from his base to his tip. A string of curse words left his lips as I wrapped my lips around him, taking him half way and pumping the half that wasn’t in my mouth. I bobbed my head faster, enjoying the sweet sound of how needy he sounded.

“F-fuck. I-I’m not gonna-nggggh- last long” He managed out as I forced myself all the way down earning a moan from him then coming up. I looked up at him, seeing him red faced and dizzy only made me more eager for what I had planned next.

I stood up and crawled up to him, straddling him. I couldn’t help my soft sigh as I looked at him biting his lip, trying to hide the grin on his face.

“Ready?” I asked, smirking as I positioned his tip with my entrance.

“Fuck yes” He breathed, moving his hands to guide my hips down as I felt him fill me up. I let out a whine as I sunk to the bottom, loving the feeling of fullness. I began rolling my hips down on him, letting moans leaving my lips as they pleased. I practically screamed his name as he thrusting his hips up to meet my grinding. I actually did scream when I felt him hit my g-spot perfectly. He had no mercy as he began abusing this spot.

I soon felt the bubbling in my stomach grow and I knew I was so close. All it took was one more thrust into my g-spot to send me over the edge into a moaning mess. Luke came soon after, his thrusts becoming sloppy as he screamed my name before collapsing.

After catching our breath, I felt him pull me into his chest,  I willingly cuddled into him, drifting to sleep in his arms.

| Halloween | Michael Clifford |

Prompt: This is the first of the AU stories im gonna do, I thought it would be fun to start off with the Halloween ones so here we go

Request: No, But they are open :)

Warning: I think there’s some swearing, jic you don’t like that

Boy: Michael

Words: 2.1k

A/N: lmao this isn’t scary at all it’s so fluffy

Masterlist // Request // Imagine Instructions


My family and I moved to this house about 2 months ago, but it’s only been the past week that I’ve noticed weird things happening. Like lights turning on without me turning the switch on, or me knocking things over but they somehow stop in mid-air and go back in place. I never really thought much of until half an hour ago. My parents are still at work, so im home alone, I got hungry and decided to go and get a snack but once I reached the door of the kitchen I saw a transparent tall figure drop something and run away. Causing me to loudly yelp, suddenly not feeling hungry anymore, so I ran back up to my bedroom and hid under my blanket. So here I am; still hiding underneath my blanket. The urge to get something to eat growing by the second, it felt as if my insides were caving in on themselves. I popped my head out the top of my blanket to see of the coast was clear, I couldn’t see anything. So I decided to go for a second try. This time everything went smoothly and I dint see a strange figure standing by the fridge.

“You shouldn’t eat before dinner,” I heard my mum’s voice behind me, causing me to scream and drop the cookie on the floor, “Jesus y/n, anyone’d think you’d seen a ghost.” She said referring to my eyes that were wide and unfocused.

“i-i- think I did…” I whispered, it coming out as more of a croak than clear English. She just looked at me with a raised eye brow, begging to laugh as she walked over to me to press her hand on my forehead.

“I know you hate this house, y/n, but there’s no need to try and tell me that it’s haunted.” She told me rolling her eyes and opening the cupboard to start dinner.

“What’s y/n done now?” my Dad asked as he walked into the kitchen, loudly dropping his keys onto the table.

“She reckons she’s seen a ghost.” Mum said, sarcasm lacing in her voice.

“Oh right,” he laughed walking over to ruffle my hair, “You’re seeing things, and you’ve been looking at those screens far too much.”

“Right yeah, you’re probably right.” I quickly retorted. Deciding now was a good time to go back up to my room.

“I defiantly saw something though..” I mumbled to myself once I was in my room, I was pacing back and forth trying to recollect what it could have been.

“You did see something.” I heard a male voice say, but there was no one there. I scanned the room frantically, beginning to breathe quickly

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5SOS find out Your ticklish 4/4.. Request

Being Ashton’s Girlfriend came with it perks, including being able to travel all over the globe with him. Today was no exception, you were travelling to the US for the last leg of their tour.

“Babe cuddle with me.” whined your boyfriend beside you, giving a dramatic sigh making him chuckle you turned to him. He opened his arms and wrapped them around you pulling you close to his chest. Ash nuzzled his face into the crook of you neck, you could feel his hands making shapes in your skin slowly moving up towards your rib cage.

You tensed trying not to sequel out in an airplane full of strangers and friends who would tense you endlessly about this. Ashton just repeated this action before whispering into your neck “Why are you so tense love?” The combination of his warm breath and his fingers at your rib cage, you could not help but giggle.

Realizing what you have done your eyes widened knowing that he heard you, you felt him smirk against your neck “You ticklish babe?” 

“W-what? No, nope not at all” you said hoping that he would leave it.

“Are you sure…” before you could react you felt his fingers at you sides tickling you. You could help but burst into laughter as you tried to get away from him.

“A-Ash stop, I-I cant breathe.” you said in between laughs but Ash just laughed as he continued to tickle you.

“Oi Love birds keep it down!” Mikey said before throwing some jelly babies at both of you.

You and Michael have been living together now for  about a year now and you liked keeping a certain secret from him, You were ticklish, extremely ticklish. You knew if Mikey found out well he will forever use this against you to get his way. 

While Mikey was at the studio with the boys, you were in one of Mikey’s Band shirts and shorts laid out on the sofa playing Halo, one of your favorite games on Xbox.

You didn’t hear him come home, well you did but you were so into the came you didn’t take you on. You were in the zone, with the mission on legendary the highest difficulty, you almost finished the mission when Mikey came home. 

Once Mikey walked into the living room and saw how sucked into the game you were, he knew that you were going to ignore him until you were finished. But he wanted cuddles and he wanted them now.

Mikey walked over to the sofa you were sitting on and plonked down beside you. he planted a kiss on your cheek trying to get your attention but failed. pouting he began to poke at you. You didn’t move or react until his finger grazed or a certain spot just below your ribs. Mikey smirked letting out a low chuckle “I think my princess is ticklish..” whispering into your ear. He watched as your eyes widened.

Before you could protest Mikey pinned you on the sofa as hands dig into your sides ticking you. The biggest grin was placed watching you smiling and laughing. “S-stop Mikey” you squealed under him.

“Say I’m Sorry Mikey for being a big meanie for ignore you and will repay you with lots of hugs and kisses.”

“Never!” you shouted as you tried to escape before giving up “Fine! I’m Sorry Mikey for being a big meanie!” you shouted he stopped looking at you with the biggest grin on his face 

“And?” he teased

“i will repay you with lots of hugs and Kisses.” you said with a pout on your face.

The one thing you probably loved as much as you loved Calum was Sleep. Being a heavy sleeper meant it was very difficult to wake you, and you were awake you probably would leave bed for at least an hour. This made things difficult when you and Calum had to be somewhere and you refused to wake up.

This morning wasn’t any different, you were snuggled up into the bed with no sign of leaving. Calum had a whole day planned for the both of you and he was not going to let your love to sleep ruins his plans.

Cal crawled over to you planting little kisses over your face, your hand reach up and lightly hit his face before mumbling “just 5 more minutes.” 

“come on babe, i have so much planned for us, come on get up.” he watched as you rolled onto your side. Cal look at you, trying to think of a away to get you up, he looked around the room and noticed your foot peaking out from under the covers. he shrugged, “Might as well try.” he thought to himself.

Cal made his way slowly to the end of the bed before tickling your foot, he could help but laugh as you squealed and scrummed trying to get away from him resulting in you falling out of bed.

“Well if i new if that would of worked i would of started doing that sooner.” 

Everyone was hanging out in you and Luke place, playing intense games of Mario cart. You were about to win when Luke went ahead and betrayed your trust by throwing a red shell hitting you causing him to win. After you threw your controller in anger, everyone laughed at you. Luke tried to give you a kiss but you pushed him away, still very angry at his actions.

It been an hour since the match between you and Luke and you were still ignoring him, to went into the kitchen to fix yourself a drink. Before entering the kitchen at the comer of your eye you could see your best friend whispering something into Luke’s ear. Brushing this off you continued on.

As you filled a glass with water you heard someone walk into the kitchen you put your glass down and turned around to see Luke standing there with the biggest smirk on his face.

“What do you want traitor.” you said but Luke didn’t say anything but ran up to you and started ticking your sides. You laughs filled the room and he refused to stop.

“IM SORRY LUKE”  you shouted, you were both breathless as he stopped looking at you with nothing but love in his eyes before planting a kiss on your lips

“im still mad though”.

Never Be  (Royal! Luke) epilogue

Originally posted by cliffordsgirls

A/N: Okay i haven’t proofread this and I don’t want to so here it is! This is the final piece I hope you enjoyed this series! Ha my first series completed! 

Warning: none  





After a week of nonstop rain, the sun had finally come out. The sun was streaming down down the rolling hills of the country side. The large picnic blanket felt soft against your fingertips while William rolled down the hills with giggles erupting from his lips. “Mumma! Play with me!” He gave you a smile with a proud display of his missing front teeth. “I can’t roll down the hills baby, but I’ll watch you. Okay?”

“Okay.” He answered, getting up and running to the very top of the hill. Two years have past since you got kicked out of the family that had now claimed you had “wanted time for yourself and William.” Luke’s mother didn’t visit, the mere contact your received from her was a birth card and large check that arrived every month. She was very clear about you not talking to the press, and not making any more noise for the family. The Hemmings made the only comment that they thought was safe, “The rumors that have recently been fabricated were nothing but fake.”

As for you, you kept to yourself for the most part. You made only a few friends since most people thought of you of ungodly names, but you still kept your love for Luke a secret. It was something that you wanted to hold close to yourself since most of it had been blasted out there. However, you wanted to keep the soft touches, meaningful gazes, and nights that went into the early morning. Those were the parts that meant something to you.

“Mumma! William exclaimed, bustling towards you. “Mumma!” He yelled once more, jumping into your lap. Quickly wrapping your arms around him, his soft hair tickled your jaw as he couldn’t keep still. “Mumma!”

“Yes, my love?” You pressed a kiss to his head, and gently rested your head on his.

“Mumma, can you tell me about Daddy again?” He asked, hands pulling at the grass. This was a popular story that William always wanted to hear. It started when he asked why he didn’t have one, and since then he only wants to hear about him.

“You’ve heard this story so many times, Will,” you reasoned with him.

“But Mumma!”

“Okay, okay,” you obliged. “He lived in a big castle,” you began. “And one day a princess came to visit and-“

“That’s you!” He irrupted.

“That’s right, bub. I was the princess.” You gently rocked him back and forth, his body calming down from all his playing. “He was tall, and he had eyes just like you. He had such a heart that held all the love in the world. However, the princess was suppose to marry someone else.”

“No!” He commented, a foot stomping the ground.

“Now the princess did love this someone else, but the princess’s heart truly belonged to Daddy,” you explained to him. “But the princess couldn’t do anything about it, so she married him.”

“You should have married Daddy,” William mumbled.

“Honey, I can’t finish if you’re going to comment on everything, okay?” He quickly nodded up at you. “Thank you. Now, she married someone else, but she still with Daddy. Now Daddy loved this princess so much, but he couldn’t stand seeing her without him.  Then, you came. The princess was so happy that she was going to have a little baby to hold. So the princess told Daddy that good news. He loved you more than anything, but he was so sad because  could never have you,” you say in a low voice. That was the part that you kept out of the story…usually.

“What do you mean?” He asked in a confused tone.

“The princess had promised her heart to someone else. She couldn’t just leave him William,” you inform.  

“That’s stupid!” Another stomp on the ground.

“We don’t use those words William,” you quickly scold. William sinking lower into your lap.  “Now, Daddy left. Far way William, but he did come back to see you.” You readjust William so he’s facing you. “William your father did love you.” You tilt his head so he’s looking at you and not at his hands. “He loved you so much, and because of this he left.”

“What happened to the person the princess married?”

“Well he died.” You got quiet for a second.

“So why can’t you be with Daddy now?”

You took in a deep breath. “William it’s a lot more complicated than that.”

“No it’s not! You should be with Daddy!” He was quick to stand up and stomp off. “William get back here!” He just kept walking away, so you ran after him. “William you can’t run off like that ever again.” You say in a stern voice that can really scare a young boy.

“But it’s not fair!” His arms crossed over his chest, as he pouted. “Yeah I know, but it’s okay.” You smile down at him, pushing a hair out of his eyes.


“She’s so beautiful Luke,” his wife declared, looking down at their daughter. A few hours old, but there was so much love surrounding her.  She was a beauty, and Luke loved her as well. He stood at his wife’s side, as nurses were coming in and out. His mother was demanding that Luke find a wife and escape all those allegations. It was hard to find someone after what had happened, but he did eventually meet his wife. She held traits that were similar to you, but she was still wasn’t you. He loved his wife, and now Y/n was apart of his past. A past that needed to be forgotten and never remembered of what had happened. It did pained him that he had to let his son go, but it was a feeling that wasn’t new. His mother had made it very clear that he would never go near William or you. According to her, it would look very bad for the family. What really hurt Luke was the fact that it was permanent. He had to let him go, and now there was no hope. No hope that maybe there would be a happy family with Luke, you, William, and maybe a few other babies. 

Luke was quick to lock all that stuff away. It would go into a box that would never be opened. This was his new life. A beautiful wife and a newborn daughter. “Can I hold her?” He asked, opening his arms for her. His wife nodded and placed her gently in his arms. “Hey sweet pea. I love you so much, and you already look so much like your mum which means you’re beautiful.” He paused for a moment and placed a kiss to her forehead. “You are one that I will not let go, I promise that.” He said in a very low voice. He began to rock ever so gently to sleep. 

“I want you to name her,” his wife stated to him. She looked up at him with loving eyes. “I think the father should name his daughter.”  The bundle in his arms, squirming around, as she was only a few hours old. Luke said the first name that came to his mind. “Y/n.” 


R U mine?(Michael Clifford)


For almost the third time this week, Michael  had come home drunk.
He was a stumbling, discombobulated, toddler like mess; and you were tired of it.
“Why can’t you just come home sober for once?” You asked as you tried to help him sit and calm down.
“I am capable of coming home so-so-sober!!” He stuttered. “I just don’t want to.” He added.
“That’s your fucking problem Michael!! You don’t want to do anything that’s good for you. Now put your arms up.” You said as you tried to undress him, but he stuck his hands down to his sides.
“I’m not a child Y/N.” He whined.“ “Well stop acting like it then.” You retorted as you began unbuttoning his shirt.
“You know what I don’t need your help.” He spoke, pushing away from you coldly.
“Oh come on stop acting like a fucking brat and put your arms up.”
“No!!” He yelled as he pushes you off of him again.
“I don’t fucking need your help and I damn sure don’t fucking need you.”
You knew Michael was drunk, of course you did, but his words still hurt.
Your eyes stared to burn as you felt tears begin falling on to your round cheeks.
“Fine then.” You spoke harshly, but Michael didn’t looked bothered.
“You can stay down here until you decide to sober up.”
Without another word, you left him to stand alone in the middle of the living room.
“Have fun sleeping without me!!” He yelled before you slammed your bedroom door.
You got into your side of the bed quietly, even though you could have taken advantage of the fact that you were alone, it didn’t feel right; it didn’t feel the same without Michael.
After a few hours, you just stopped trying to go to sleep and you began thinking about Michael, the way his face looked as he slept, or how his hair would stick to his face when things hot heated between you two. Before you knew it you were crying, your loud sobs loud hopefully not enough for Michael to hear.
You threw a pillow over your face in an attempt to hide your sobs. There was no doubt about it, you were now a full blown mess; which is probably why you didn’t hear Michael knock on the door until he was already in the room.
“Y/N?” He called out, and you took the pillow off your face.
“What?” You hissed.
“Are-are you crying?”
“What? No, I-I had something in my eye.” You lied.
“Are you crying because of me?” He asked, his voice low with regret.
You nodded your at him through tearful eyes and he began crawling into bed.
“Michael what are you doing?” You asked as you tried to wipe your face.
“Move over.” He spoke.
He pushed you back onto the bed lightly and immediately pulled you into him, his breath tickling your neck.
“I’m sorry Y/N…. for what I said.” He started. “I didn’t mean it babe, really I didn’t. I definitely do need you.”
As much as you might not have wanted to believe that he was sorry right now, you knew he really
“I know Mikey, I know.”
“Baby?” He asked, his lips just grazing your ear, sending waves of hot breath down your spine.
“Can I show you how much you mean to me?”
He asked as he began placing open mouthed kisses on your neck, causing you to let out a little moan.
“Y/N?” He asked again, obviously waiting for your approval.
You nodded rapidly and he instantly crawled on top of you.
He pressed his lips into yours, bringing a hand up to cup your cheek. You slowly began to relax onto the bed as he hovered over you. He swiftly pulled your shirt off, then kissing his way down to your neck and unclasping your bra; exposing your chest to him.
“God your beautiful, so fucking beautiful.”
He continued until he got down to your pajama bottoms, pulling them down slowly and throw in the pile of clothes somewhere in the room.
He started massaging the inside of your thighs beige without warning, he placed his thumb on your clit, making your immediately arch your back.
He began rubbing in small circles over your panties, his other hand rubbing your left breast.
“Mikey please.” You moaned, your arms frantically searching for something to hold onto.
“What baby? Tell me what you want.”
“I-I want you to touch me. Please.”
Without having to say anything else, Michael removed your underwear and slid a single finger between your folds, massaging your walls softly.
“Baby your so wet for me.” He added cheekily before attaching his lips to your bundle of nerves.
“Oh god,” You moaned loudly as you pulled his hair, you could feel that familiar knot building in your stomach rapidly as he inserted two fingers and began pumping into you.
“Mikey I-I.” You nearly screamed, you could feel your hips begin to arch off the bed and Michael laughed as he held your hips down, the vibration sending you half way off the bed.
“Come on baby, come for me, I got you. Are you gonna come for me Y/N? Huh?.”
With Michael’s fingers plus his dirty talk, you detonated around his finger, your toes curling as you shook violently, the feeling more then anything you’d ever experienced with him.
You started to catch your breath slowly, your body heaving as you tried to process what had just happened.
Michael pulled his finger out and gave a small smirk,
arousal dripping from his fingers.
He licked his fingers clean, causing you to cover you face in embarrassment.
“You taste like cupcakes.”

He spoke, and you laughed wildly. Michael started to cover you up with the blankets, but you pushed them back. “I can’t leave you like that.” You spoke, referring to the bulge forming in his pants. “You-you don’t have to-” Before he could finish, you had already started undoing the button on his pants, “Your turn baby boy.” You spoke, and he left out a large gulp as he bit his lip.
South Side (Calum Hood AU)

Requested: No
Plot: Drugs, gangs, violence and the attempt to survive.
That’s what Calum Hood’s life revolves around as a guy who grew up in South Side. As he meets you, the incarnation of a well-bred girl coming from a good home, love tries to make way for itself in this screwed up life. 
Word Count: 13.819
Chapter One - 1.151 [Before him.]
Chapter Two - 1.261 [All beginnings are difficult.]
Chapter Three - 1.107 [When the real trouble began.]
Chapter Four - 1.211 [Falling for him hook, line and sinker.]
Chapter Five -  1.421 [Golden days and rose-coloured glasses.]
Chapter Six - 4.359 [Coming apart the seams.]
Chapter Seven - 3.259 [Deluded.]

Masterlist x. 
Inbox me here x. 

Before him. 

Driblets of sweat were forming on my forehead. I could feel the tiny drops pooling on my skin until the cold liquid flowed down, leaving a wet trace on my front before getting caught in my eyebrow.

I lifted my head and looked back over my shoulder towards the sun, narrowing my eyes to slits at the burning light. The water gathering in my brows was dangerously close to dripping and I raised my hand to wipe the sweat off my forehead, before letting my fingers glide through the damp streaks of my bangs.
The black asphalt beneath my feet looked like it was steaming and the thought of it melting any moment crawled into my mind. It would liquefy to a rubbery bubbling mush and the occurring dark sea on the street would swallow me up. Still heated from the sun, it would feel warm and cosy, nearly like a big black blanket nuzzling around my body while tearing me down. I’d just be gone; no more expectations to fulfil, not disappointing anyone any longer, no commitments left.

A heavy sight escaped my lips as my mind snapped back to reality.

Chicago was currently undergoing a heatwave, which meant it was the hottest summer since 1987. The sun beat down mercilessly and the only half decent – or somehow informative – aspect of the ridiculous heat was me learning, which absurd amounts of sweat my body could in fact produce. Showering seemed useless these days. All attempts were at no avail, because I just couldn’t get rid of all of the sticky fluids resting on my skin. Luckily for me Chicago’s whole population shared this distress, and by now nobody was giving others a strange look because of sweat stains anymore; everybody was suffering jointly.
My feet have taken a step forward after another and till now I didn’t even notice that I have nearly reached my final destination, the playground at the end of a very certain street.

Hastily I tried to make myself look somewhat presentable, as well as in any way possible. Amidst the pointless attempt of deducting my soaked shirt off my body, I felt clammy hands touch my skin.
Looking down I saw Noah smiling up to me while tugging my arm. As usual I ruffled his hair before intertwining his tiny fingers with mine, a small habit the both of us have created over the short duration of my stay at the ‘CCCS’.
The Child Care Centre Southside.
Working at the Centre during summer holidays seemed like a good chance to gain some hours of social work to improve my university applications and the staff there was always in need of a few helping hands. I liked the thought of interning with them out of good causes and altruism, but to be honest I was mostly doing the job to please my parents.
They were ecstatic, as one of their befriended couples from Europe told them about their daughter doing a social gap year between graduation and university and immediately decided that something similar would also be to my advantage. And as always I did just as they wish.
The only difference lay in the fact that my father would never allow to delay my studies for a year, hence I was now here;
in the middle of July, during the hottest summer since 30 years, taking nine kids on a walk to the district’s playground,
in Chicago,

South side.

Noah swung both of our hands back and forth to the rhythm of the nursery rhyme the kids were singing at the top of their voices. The melody seemed oddly familiar and I knew somewhere in the rear of my mind the lyrics were whirring around – neither used since a time that seemed ages ago nor forgotten anyway – but I couldn’t seem to grasp a hold of the words.
The little boy holding my hand looked up at me, though his voice seemed to be miles away as he begged me to sing along. Without looking down I ruffled his hair once again and just shook my head no, while staring intently straight ahead. My thoughts were already completely and utterly preoccupied with something – or more precisely someone – else as I guided the kids around the next corner.

There he was again.
He was sitting on his front porch with a cigarette in one hand and a bottle of beer in the other one, flushing down the smoke with a gulp of brew after every puff he was taking, while staring at me shamelessly.
Through the wire fence surrounding the run down house he was probably living in, his deep brown eyes found mine and sent chills down my spine.
In the beginning – when I started to notice his stares – I would always pretend not to be aware of his presence and walked past his house, concentrating on either staring straight ahead or talking to one of the kids. By now things have changed and I just returned his intense gaze. The second I walked completely past him I would turn my head around and he would look after me to lock gazes again, until I was too far ahead on the street and could hardly make out his silhouette anymore.
Somehow this boy had managed to capture my mind. The two of us were linked through an unsaid agreement, every day I would take the kids to the playground, taking the same route past his house, and every day he would be sitting on the steps, waiting for me while smoking a cig. For inexplicable reasons these few minutes achieved to become the highlight of my day. I couldn’t explain to myself why though. Maybe I simply enjoyed his good looks or maybe his urge to look at me with these indefinable deep stares every time I walked past him, made me feel beautiful and wanted, even if my hair was sweaty and sticking to my head and I had stains of dirt all over my clothes from babysitting all day.
I knew these two things played along, but being completely honest with myself I had to admit that the most viable reason seemed to be the dangerous radiances surrounding him. Danger was something I never had to cope with in my snobby guarded housing estate. Not in the private school I attended all live long, nor amongst my selected group of friends, who of course all came from wealthy families. My parents always had an eye on me and made sure that I evolved to a smart and good girl, who never broke the rules and made them proud. I was a flawless showpiece, the perfectly working subject, who was viewless and not in possession of own willingness, created under the pressure of my parents.
Danger portrayed a completely new sensation for me, which I wanted to experience desperately.
And this boy impersonated danger.

All beginnings are difficult

Edgar Allen Poe had always been my favourite author. Many people would disagree and think of his stories as morbid and weird, for me on the other hand these seemingly odd writings were masterpieces, touching me deep in my soul. As always I got completely lost in his stories and every now and then I had to force my eyes to look away from the pages and watch out for the kids. Letting my gaze roam around the playground, I quickly counted them and put my mind at rest as I saw all out of the group happily playing. Lilly and Thomas laughed at me from the sand box and with a short wave towards them, I gave my attention back to Edgars’ tale.

Maybe I could also become an author one day. For sure my parents wouldn’t be as pleased as if I would choose to become a doctor or a lawyer, but I guessed they wouldn’t mind as long as I wrote for important magazines and didn’t bring disgrace to my family’s name. I could write for The New York Times or Forbes Magazine. Writing about politics and becoming an external correspondent who worked all over the world and travelled to different places, suddenly seemed like the most interesting thing to do. It would offer the chance to witness something exciting and exceptionally for once in my life. I could escape Chicago. I could escape my parents.
Too deep in thoughts I didn’t notice the person taking a seat on the bench next to me.
“When do you finish?”
A small scream escaped my lips and the shock let me jolt at the sudden question directed towards me. Looking to my right I found no other than the boy from down the road.
A cigarette was hanging loose between his lips while he was reaching into his pocket for a lighter. Completely overwhelmed I stared at his features as he light up the fag and took a strong puff, inhaling the fume deeply before blowing the cloud of smoke out of his mouth in one slow motion.
“Cat got your tongue?” he finally turned his head towards me and bestowed me with an utterly unimpressed face.
“Uhm n-no… I mean… Please pardon my impolite behaviour. You had me frightened.” Mentally growing at that stupid and highly lofty remark I turned my head towards the kids, using my responsibility to watch out for them as an excuse to avoid his intimidating sight.
I have never seen him this close before. Even without looking in his direction my body was more than aware of his presence. It froze in fear and excitement, all at once, my skin burning where our arms nearly touched. The heat radiating from his torso let my skin form goose bumps and my mouth seemed to become as dry as I imagined it to be after walking through a desert for days without water.
In conflict with myself, I considered whether I should do what I have been told from a young age, in other words to just get up and leave the stranger, or if I should risk another glimpse and continue the conversation to see where it lead. For some reason I couldn’t fight the feeling in my guts and I decided to just go with it. Persuading myself with the argument that he basically isn’t a complete stranger, I eased the yelling warnings in my head and turned around to observe him in depth for the first time.
It wasn’t much of a surprising for me that he was wearing all black. Apparently he liked his clothes black and torn up, one of the many things I learned from our short encounters over the past weeks. Neither the less I had to ask myself how he was able to bear the heat in black skinny jeans and a black shirt.
The sweat was forming pools in my armpits, in the crook of my arms, at the backside of my knees where my tights changed to my calves. Simply at every inch where skin was touched by other parts of skin, hair, the material of clothes or even worse the sun. I was sweating like a pig, while he was sitting on this bench, looking like he jumped out of Teen Vogue’s latest edition, absolutely stunning and unimpressed by anything.
As my eyes wandered further up his body they came to a sudden halt at his arms. They were too defined to presume he wasn’t doing any sports and I wondered how he shaped them to their current state. Was he lifting? No, I didn’t see him as somebody who would go to the gym or lift at home in their cellar. Maybe he was a boxer – that would fit. Or he joined his school’s swimming team. At the thought of school’s athletic clubs I couldn’t restrain a frown forming my face. Who knew if he even attended school, and if he did his school most likely didn’t even have sport clubs. He didn’t look like the type to attend a school where it was all about cheerleaders and football jocks, but more like somebody who would smoke a blunt on the toilet and sell Speed during lunchtime. He probably wouldn’t even smoke at the toilet but in the middle of the hallways or why not going the whole hog and smoke in the teacher’s lounge, relaxing in the principal’s big armchair, tapping the ash of his joint onto the dark brown leather, which acquired a strange smell over the years.
Nearly unnoticeable for him I shook my head lightly and tried to get rid of the unstoppable word-vomit welling up in my mind again. I sometimes wondered if I was going crazy, the stuff going on in my mind being the first symptom. But in the end it didn’t matter.
My eyes travelled further up the boy’s body, roaming over his neck and his impressively strong jawline. For a short amount of time my gaze lingered a little longer than necessary on his lips, which he of course noticed. A smirk played around the corners of his plumb mouth, which somehow lead me to smile back; I couldn’t help it.
Once reaching the crown of his head I admired his thick brown hair, looking ever so soft, now I could see it as a close up. Wandering down again my eyes found his and I couldn’t fail to notice his pulled-up eyebrow.
“Well?” The world lingered in my ears as soon as it fell silent after leaving his mouth and my head turned an unhealthy shade of purple as I noticed that I was staring at the boy without answering him for a few solid minutes.
“I shall finish around six o’clock.” Not sure what he intended to do with this information it was more a whisper leaving my mouth than a statement.
“Great. Meet me at the back door.” He flicked his cig to the ground before stepping on it and getting up from the bench.
“What… but..?” What did he mean, ‘meet me at the back door’, I couldn’t meet up with him, I didn’t know him and he didn’t know me. Why would he like to meet up?
“Oi girl, conversations aren’t ya thing, are they? Geez, you heard what I said.” His dark clothes displayed a strong contrast to the burning sunlight, catching itself in his hair from behind. He appeared dangerous and angelic all at once, leaving me wonderstruck in his presence.
“Yes, of course.”
“Dope. Later, mother Teresa.”

When the real trouble began.

Another minute has passed by. I was sitting at the centre’s kitchen table, starring at the clock on the wall in front of me, my eyes following the second hand’s every move. It was three minutes to six o’clock and the anxiety welling up in my body got more and more by every second passing by. I thought about waiting a little longer and leaving the house a few minutes delayed, to seem a little less piteously, but to be honest I was afraid of that guy and I didn’t want to annoy him. That was if he was even outside.

At six o’clock to the minute I gathered my stuff together and shouted a short goodbye to my colleagues, before escaping through the back door.
He was leaning against a black motorbike, the significant cig hanging between his lips. My knees felt like jelly as I started to walk towards him.
His brown eyes stared intensely into my green ones, intimidating me. Once there were only a few inches left between our sweaty bodies he outstretched his arm to shove a black helmet into my chest.
“Come on princess, we’re going for a ride.” He took one last puff before snatching his cigarette to the ground and swung one of his legs over the shiny black metal of his bike.
I thought about declining his offer, but instead looked one last time to my left and my right, to make sure nobody saw me as I pulled the helmet over my head. It has been darned hot without the soft material clinging around my face, but with the protection on my head I felt like my brain would explode any second due to overheating.
I ignored he sweat running down my back and slung my arms around his body as he started the ignition and speed down the road. Through the thin material of his shirt I could feel his toned stomach and had to supress the urge to spread my fingers and let them glide under his shirt to touch his skin where it was hot and sticky from sweat.
The whole ride I was sitting still, pressed against the boys back, wondering where he would take me. I can’t tell how long we rode down the streets, until he stopped at the end of an alley way.
I took off the helmet and shook my head, to detach the wet sweaty strands of hair from my neck. Looking around I came to the conclusion that nothing worth riding this far was around and I wondered if it had been a good idea to trust a stranger who’s name I wasn’t even aware of. All of the self-defense methods I ever heard of suddenly flooded my head and my mind was making up scenes of how I could escape in case of emergency. Just as I was thinking about the pepper spray I had at home and why I never took it with me, I felt a touch on my hand.
I looked down to notice that he was slowly intertwining his fingers with mine, before pulling me after him and leading the way. I was staring at the back of his dark locks, while a warm tingly feeling spread in the pit of my stomach.
We were heading towards what looked like an abandoned house, passed its squeaky door and made our way upstairs, stopping in front of a little skylight.
He let go of my hand to wipe away the cobwebs and suddenly my palm felt cold and lonely.
“C’mere.” His words were only a whisper in my ear, as he pulled me in his embrace. For a short amount of time I was just standing there inside his arms, but after a few seconds he lifted me up and helped me to reach the edges of the skylight and pull myself through it.
He followed soon after, keeping me company on the housetop.
“Why would you bring me here?” I looked at him with a questioning expression, my eyebrows furrowed together.
“Cos of this.” Spinning around towards the direction he was pointing, my jaw dropped.
We seemingly drove onto some kind of hill and what I saw in front of me was breath taking. The sun was setting and between the red, purple and darkening sky you could make out a few single stars and Chicago’s lights emerging little by little.
“It is amazing.”
“I supposed you’d dig it.”
I turned around to find him staring at me. It was even more intriguing as all the other times our gazed caught each other and the sudden amount of tension building up between us was ridiculous.
He took a few steps closer until our bodies nearly touched, taking a seat to my feet. I took a place next to him and enjoyed the sensation of the spectacular scene above Chicago and the pins and needles tingling in my body caused through him.
“I come here quite a lot.” He was the first to break the comfortable silence, which enveloped me like a safe refuge, preventing me from saying or doing something stupid to mess up the situation and burst my bubble of a possible ‘us’. With speaking up he took me lifeline away and I fell into cold water, struggling to keep my head over water and save myself from drowning.
“It is indeed quite a stunning place.”
“You can cut the act, ya know? You don’t have to be like that in front of me. Loosen up a little, mother Teresa.”
He was cocking his head a little and a small smile played on his lips, as he pushed his elbow playfully into my side. I couldn’t help myself but let a few giggles escape my mouth.
It was bubbling up in my body and it was as if I overcrowded with laughter. It started slow and soft but was quickly building up until I was roaring with laughter. Tears were forming in the corner of my eyes and rolled down my cheeks, as I was laughing as if it was a matter of life. I carried him along and the melodic sound of his deep smooth laughs filled my ears and my heart with joy. I imagined seeing him laughing weird – him leaving the whole untouchable, uncaring and tough bad boy act for a few seconds – but the smile on his face let the discolouring sky seem like a dull grey sight.
Never before have I been as boisterous as in this moment, but also never before somebody had allowed me to be myself and to not keep up any appearances.

Falling for him hook, line and sinker.

We spent hours on this rooftop; laughing, talking about everything that float our minds, admiring our surroundings, me admiring him.

“… well and that’s basically how I ended up in CCCS.”
“Sounds like your rents expect a lot of shit from you.” From the corner of my eye I could see him raise his hand towards his lips, the ash glowing orange as he took a deep puff, and blowing up thick grey clouds of smoke into the air. We were both lying on our backs, our bodies nearly touching lengthways, faces towards the stars.
“Yeah, I suppose that’s true. What about you?”
“What about me?”
“How are your parents like?”
He didn’t answer. That was it. That was me drowning because of my own stupidity. That was my bubble bursting. I asked something too personal and he shut down.
I already saw him getting up and leaving me here, thinking about my stupid mistake, as a cough interrupted my thoughts.
“I’m sorry. I don’t really talk about my folks a lot.”
“You… you don’t have to. I shouldn’t have asked. I am sorry.” I was nearly stumbling over my own words as I attempted to press them out as fast as I could, trying to save the situation.
“No. I want to tell you, you should know it.” After a short pause he spoke up again. “Steve, my father, left when I was about a year old. Apparently the ‘life as a Dad’ was too much responsibility for him so he decided to do a runner with our camper while my mom went grocery shopping with me.
My mom, Valerie, is a drug addict. After Steve left we used to live at one of his friend’s couch, until Val found a new job – you might not even call it a job. She was dancing in a club and particularly sold her body to the customers as a return for drugs. A few years ago she got kicked out of the club, they told her she’s overaged and nobody wants to see her sagged breast anymore, which was kind of true. But after all she kept her ‘customers’ and as long as she still gets her pills, she doesn’t bother about anything else. She’s mostly sleeping out. I suppose she also gets food after she fucked them, but I don’t really know. Val’s not around a lot, but if she’s always high and only stops by to ask for money.
I also have an older brother, Alex. He busted his ass off and got a scholarship for university. He made it. He escaped South Side, but for me it’s already too late.” I still tried to handle his words as he felt the need to add an apology.
“Sorry, Teresa, I didn’t want to freak you out.”
“You didn’t.” Ever so slow my fingers grazed his and I intertwined my hand with his big one, before timidly rolling my head down to face him and admire his profile. “And it’s never too late.”
I don’t know whether he reacted to my words or my hand squeezing his, but he tore his eyes away from the stars above and gazed into my face.
“You nearly make me believe it.” His voice was barely above a whisper as his thumb stroke over the back of my hand in his and his eyes wandered between my eyes and my lips.
I could almost feel his breath on my lips, while my body began to shiver in edginess.
“And my name isn’t Teresa. It’s Y/N” I wasn’t sure if I even spoke out the words or if he could hear them, that’s how faint they escaped my lips.
“I know.” That was all I could make out before my world was set on fire, as his plumb lips met mine for the first time.
It brought the sweat to my brows at how intensive I perceived this one kiss, how my body reacted. Before this kiss I wasn’t even aware of all the feelings and sensations my body sealed away from me for all these years, it felt like I haven’t been feeling ever before.
His right hand was still having a tight hold of mine, as his left one found its way to my face and the tips of his fingers stroke down my face, before pulling me closer. My body pressed into his and screamed for more. I wanted to drown in him and opened my mouth allowing him to invade my body. His tongue slipped past my lips and teeth, touching mine briefly before heading back. I was in need of more and my tongue followed his, creating a rhythm between the both of us.  
My life got turned upside down, as he planted those kisses on my lips - those kisses that would change everything.
My life, my future, myself.

I arrived at home around 1am this night. I was clinging to his back - my hands found their way under his shirt a long time ago and were spread over the hot skin of his stomach – as he stopped the bike’s engine. He escorted me to the big white double door, which lead inside my frightfully expensive and equally subcooled home. Bending down for one last peck onto my lips, he let go of my hand and I had to open my eyes way too soon, as my heart was still swollen inside my chest and my lips were still prickling from the soft touch of his.
“Ridiculously enough I still don’t know your name.”
The smirk forming on his lips let his usual stern look soften and he pushed his hands into the pockets of his jeans, while looking to the ground and back up at my face again.
“It’s Calum. Calum Hood.”
“Well, will I see you again Calum?” A smile played on my lips, but it was hardly there out of amusement, more to outplay my vulnerability and sorrow of rejection.
“Of course. You’ll see me tomorrow. From now on, you’ll see me every day, Y/N.”
My hand was placed on his cheek as he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against mine.
He pecked my lips once more before stepping back and heading down the front porch towards his bike, leaving me to return back inside my home, a place I secretly feared.
The doorknob was already placed in my hand and I was about to let this night end, risking to blend the days into each other and be left with nothing but the memory tomorrow morning.
I looked back over my shoulder and saw his figure get swallowed by the dark of the night.
“Calum, wait.”
“Yeah?” He stopped in his tracks and turned around to face me again.
“Why me?” The question has lingered on my tongue for weeks and it finally found its way from my mind out of my mouth.
“What do you mean?” A trace of confusion built up on his face and I took a deep breath before repeating my concern more precisely.
“Why me out of all people? I don’t know why you chose me.”
“Neither do I. It is how it is.”

With that I was left wondering what was so special about me after all.

Golden days and rose-coloured glasses.

„Stop no Cal, I’ll fall!“ Loud shrieks escaped my mouth as I gripped my hands around the handlebar of Calum’s bike.  
I could make out his melodic laugh from behind before I felt him press a soft kiss on my shoulder.
“Trust me Y/N you won’t fall, I’ve got you.”
Gulping one last time I pressed the gas pedal together and the bike started to speed forward in jerky leaps.
Hot and muggy air lashed into my face and brought tears to my eyes due to the open aventail. They rolled back over my face and mixed somewhere on my skin with the stains of sweat, but I didn’t care. For once in my life I had the power. It wasn’t much - it was singly the control over an overaged rusty motorbike, but none the less it made me feel great. I had the power to decide where to go, how fast to get there and if we would get there at all. Nobody had power over me, but I had control over myself and over somebody else, not the other way around as usual. If I wanted to go full speed and decided to keep going straight during the next turn to crash into the wall ahead, he wouldn’t be able to change it. I had the power.
It made me feel alive.

And that was exactly the thing about Calum Thomas Hood – he made me feel alive. Those past two weeks had been the most incredible and vivid time of my life all because of him, although we never really did something really extraordinary.Most of our days consisted in him already waiting for me after my shift at the CCCS and we ended up driving around on his bike looking for some abandoned place. Since the heat wave was still going strong in Chicago it was way too hot to be active in any kind of way, so we would mostly just chill and talk for hours, while looking at the stars as the night was falling down, and with every single leaving his mouth I only fell harder for Calum.  I guess it’s a rear thing that people coming from two completely different vicinities, living worlds apart, could identify themselves with each other on so many levels as the both of us.  I was intrigued with him and our talks, because with every day passing by and every conversation we had I felt like I came a little closer to Calum, like I pulled off another layer, slowly breaking through his walls and getting him to quit the bad boy act to be more himself nightly.
And of course there was also always a lot of snogging involved.
To put it short with Calum all bets were off. The touch of his hand when he grabbed mine made my body go on fire, his simple laugh let me feel a tingling sensation in my head and every undertaking he talked me into made me feel rebellious and purposeful.
He has only been around for two weeks, yet in those days he has done more for me than anybody else in my entire life

“Where are you taking me Theresa?” Calum let his hand, which presumably former rested on the back handle, glide around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder. Despite I told him my real name weeks ago he still liked to use the initial nickname. I’ve once asked him why that is, but he just shook his head with laughter and told me that was just how he had always pictured me: a saint, pure.
“Let yourself be surprised, bad boy.”  Soft laughter resounded and his hot breath hitting the skin under my ear let me shiver.
“Take the handlebar.” I tried to shout back to him over the wind’s loud howling, but the speed seemed to swallow up my voice and I tried to point descriptive at the bike.
Cal seemed to understand and grabbed the handle so that I could release it. I placed my hand over his right one and twisted it nearer towards us, indicating him to go on full speed. I pushed the ventail upwards and let the wind whip into my face. As tears began to form in my eyes I rested my head against Calum’s chest, closing my eyes and stretching my hands to the side. He really made me feel like flying.

I could feel the chilling of the wind fading and opened my eyes, only to find Cal pulling onto a small forest path. We’ve been here a few nights before and I knew exactly where this way leaded us.
With a few metres of distance to the big pond emerging at the end of the path, Calum stopped the bike and looped his arms around me after pulling off his and my helmet.
“I love these kinda days, ya know.” He whispered into my ear while intertwining his fingers with mine, resting both of our hands on my stomach.
My head turned around to face him, probably looking like scarecrow with my hair somehow managing it to stick to my sweaty head and out in every direction at the same time, but I knew he didn’t matter.
“Hmmm… What kind of days?” My eyes found his and for the first time I noticed that if I was looking close enough I could make out small crinkles emerge in the angles of his eyes as a playful but genuine smile  formed on his lips.
“The days I get to spend with you.”
“Cheesy.”  A small chuckle escaped my lips as I laughed at his unbelievably cute but equally corny remark. As I softly pushed his shoulder back, he pretended to fall from the bike and carry me with him but stopped the both of us last second, for which he conversely earned a dark glare.
“Only for you, Y/N.” He let his lips brush over mine and gave me one sweet peck before pulling away and getting up from the bike, stretching out one of his hands for me to grab and follow him.
He raised his hand to the sky and whirled me around under his arm one time, humming a unfamiliar beat, before catching me in his embrace.
“May I have this dance, milady?”
“Well of course, milord.” He giggly placed a kiss on the back of my hand before pulling me back against his torso and started to hum again.
My head rested in the angle of his neck as we were swaying back and forth to the slow rhythm he created. I felt like dancing on clouds with my feet sinking into the wet moos surrounding the pond.
“You’ve got a beautiful voice. I never knew you can sing.”
“I used to be in a band.” I couldn’t quite make out why but somehow his voice managed to sound deeper and colder as he stated this fact completely new to me.
“Oh really, why used to? Did you guys split up?” It probably wasn’t my best idea to ask him about his band, but as I noticed his grip getting a little tighter and his body stiffer it was already too late to make my words unsaid
“Yeah.” The word was pressed out between his lips, nearly spat in anger.
I knew I should drop the theme and leave it like that, but curiosity got its best of me once again and I just had to step a little more forward. My parents had always considered curiosity one of my worst character attributes, but I never quite understood why. In my opinion curiosity was essential – it made me question things and stopped me from being satisfied with only half of an answer or half of the truth. In the end it did say ‘Curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back’ – sadly most people forgot about that last part.
“Why so?”
“I don’t really wanna talk ‘bout it.”
“Did something bad happen?” I couldn’t contain myself from asking one more time as we whirled around through the moos.
“Let’s just say the other boys stumbled over more important stuff to worry about. Got it?”
“Sure, sorry.”
“It looks like it’s about to rain. We probably should head home.”Only now I noticed the cold wind blowing through the trees and goose bumps formed on my skin as a shiver ran down my body. Knitting my eyebrows together in disbelief I raised my head towards the sky and to my amazement I noticed dark black clouds hanging above us, looking ready to release the rain they were holding and everybody was so desperately waiting for.

Coming apart the seams.

“Run.” Calum shouted as soon as he turned off the motor of the bike. He took my hand and pulled me right after him onto the patio of his house and pushed the door open with one hard jolt. The obviously unnecessity to cope with keys to open the shabby and broke door, appeared kind of unsafe to me, but in my soaking wet state I was more than glad to be rain sheltered as quick as possible. Of course we didn’t make it back to the city fast enough to escape the storm and by now we were both soaked and shivering form head to toe.
“Come on let’s go upstairs.” Cal nodded his head towards the staircase and I followed slowly as I let my gaze roam around his home for the first time.

The passage to the kitchen was blocked by a black bin bag overflown with empty pizza boxes and Chinese take away boxes. The counter was piled with dirty dishes and empty to half empty beer and wine bottles, one of them had fallen over and created a puddle of alcohol on the brown tile floor. On the other side of the staircase I could catch a small glimpse of the living area, which’s focal point was a shady green sofa covered in various indefinable stains and fag burns all over it. An old TV was placed on a small glass table in front of it, a various show flickering over the screen, the significant empty beer bottles once again placed over the glass’ spare spots. On the sofa’s armrest was an ashtray placed, a half finished white smoked resting in it, which in my opinion didn’t look like a normal cigarette.
Other than that there wasn’t much to see in Cal’s home. Not because it wouldn’t be interesting enough to talk about, but rather because there was nothing else there, no more furniture, no pictures, nothing that made this place feel like a home. I followed him up the stairs and entered a small corridor with three doors.

“That’s my brother Alex’ room, well it was when he still used to live here… and that’s the bathroom if you need it” He pointed to a closed door and pushed the other one open, revealing it to me before we took a halt in front of the door right across the bathroom. He took a deep breath before grasping for the handle and pushing it down.
“And that’s my room.”
He looked at me in a rather inviting manner so I took a step past him to enter his room and have a closer look. As soon as I entered it a wave of surprise washed over my body, observing that his room was startling tidy and organised compared to the rest of the house. The walls were painted navy blue, not one single picture or poster decorating them. Under the small window stood a desk, a black lamp, a book and various writing stuff placed on it. The rest of the room was occupied by his bed covered in white sheets, pushed against one wall, and opposite of it stood a dresser where he supposedly stored his clothes, a framed picture standing on top of it. Knowing that I might cross another line I stepped closer towards the picture and let my hand glide over the frame, observing his face as I did so. Neither his jawline hardened nor his eyes became a shade darker which normally displayed his rising anger, thus I took the frame and allowed myself to have a closer look. It was an old picture, the colours nearly turned to white, that’s how faded it was. It showed a man who was presumptively Calum’s father, since he looked a lot like him, smiling down at a black haired, rather stunning woman. The woman was holding a baby in her arms and had a small boy to her feet, all four persons on the picture looking insanely happy. Not until now I noticed the surrounding of the family; they were standing in front of a small but nice house with a beautifully trimmed garden, nothing like the house Calum was living in now.
I wondered how he must feel, waking up every morning starring at this picture of his family, being happy and doing okay, and having to wonder daily how his life would have turned out if his father hadn’t left the family. I didn’t want to, but I couldn’t stop myself – for the first time I sincerely pitied him.  
“You look nervous.” I stated as placed the picture back on its spot and faced him again.
“There’s never been a girl in my room.” He somewhat looked ashamed as he gave away his secret to me, breaking our gazes and looking down at his shoes. I wasn’t used to him acting shy and had to suppress the smile forming on my lips.
“I am glad to be the first one.” I took a step towards him and took his left hand in mine, bringing it up to my lips to place a small kiss on each of his knuckles, until he looked up at me again.
“Ya probably want to change.” Opening his dresser he pulled out one of his torn up black muscle shirts and dark grey sweat pants, the clothes crumbled together carelessly, placing them into my hands.
“You can stay here, I’ll use the pot.”
With that he pulled out some clothes for himself before leaving me my private space to change.

I was glad that he had left me alone, so I could peel out of my drained clothes, clinging to my body because of the mixture of rain and sweat. My body had a strange smell sticking to it, a mix of fresh rain and nature and the sweet sourish odour of my own, seemingly odd and loathly.
I was wearing a skirt and began stripping it down, the piece effortlessly falling to the ground, creating a circle around my feet. As I wanted to strip my shirt off my body, I struggled while the wet material stuck to my forehead and its strap somehow managed to tangle into my hair.
I began to drag and tear to finally crow over the piece of cloth and when my vision was clear again it fell straight ahead – through the narrow gap of the slightly opened door into the room across the hall. My gaze caught itself on Calum’s, meeting in the smeared mirror in front of him.
His eyes held mine captive for a solid minute before he averted my gaze and let his one travel down my body. Ever so slow his eyes wandered deeper down my figure, observing every inch of my exposed body, only covered with underwear. I began to feel somewhat uncomfortable and vulnerable but I wasn’t able to react to those emotions as Cal’s jawline suddenly hardened and he turned around, walking straight towards me, wearing nothing but a pair of olive boxer briefs.
His sight held mine as he pushed the door open and closed the gap separating us.
Due to his hard facial expression and his tensed muscles I expected him to crash his lips onto mine fiercely, but instead he let his hands glide over my face and cheeks, softly down the sides of my body and letting them rest on my hips while he placed his lips for a small peck onto mine.
For some reason his actions drove me more insane than a hot and dominant one could ever have and I felt myself urging for his kiss. Leaning in I linked our lips once more and got lost in the familiar motions of our mouths moving together. My hands reached upwards, tangling themselves in the back of his neck, like always finding their place in the curve of his neck, where his backbone and hairline met. Ever since our first encounter my mind went crazy thinking about his soft black hair between my fingers, and not once had reality ruined my imagination from back then, his hair glided through my fingers like black silk.
My hands were shaking as I untangled them from the short locks and wandered further down his body, feeling his skin under my touch for the first time. I gingerly draw with my finger over his left shoulder, then over his right, taking my time. My nails drew various shapes between his shoulder blades, before I let the tip of my finger dance down his spine, hardly touching the hot skin while sending shivers down his back.
He never got more urgent. His lips pressed a little harder against mine and his fingers buried themselves in the flesh of my hips, but he never got any faster or pushed me. He took his time.
And he made me feel precious in his arms.
“You are beautiful, Y/N.” The hot air of his whisper hit the skin underneath my ear and caused me to press my legs together. He placed his mouth over the spot where his breath had warmed my skin, as if he tried to savour the warmth on my body. His lips glided along my neck, placing little kisses everywhere on their journey down to my collarbone. I could feel his fingers leave the skin on my sides, only to be reconnected with my shoulder, cautiously gliding under the strap of my bra.
“May I?” Once more my body reacted to his lips humming over my skin and it formed goose bumps under his breath painting it.
A shaky breath escaped my lips as my head fell back into my neck. My eyes were closed and my mind and body were solely concentrated on Calum’s touch. I nodded my head slightly in approvement, not knowing if Cal actually noticed it or took my silence as affirmation, but neither the less he placed the strap between his pointer and middle finger, letting his palm glide down my upper arm, slowly undressing me as he repeated the exact same movement on my other side.
I felt cold and lonely as the heat of his body wasn’t there anymore, when he took a step back and disconnected himself from me.
Without his touch on my skin reality broke over me like a stroke to the stomach and a rush of uncomfortableness suddenly hounded through my body.
I was standing there in my panties, naked for the first time ever in front of somebody else than my mother and doctor, and the need to cover my bareness grew stronger by every second of him looking at me.
My hands shot up to cover my chest and my head fell forwards, the wet streaks of my hair building a curtain in front of my heated face.
“Don’t.” The tips of Cal’s fingers glided over my arm as he tried to show the unnecessity of my embarrassment, but I still refused to let go.
“What’s suddenly wrong with you? Talk to me.” His voice was barely above a whisper, but the pleading rang through to my ears.
“It’s… It’s just uhm… “, I have never been one to be at a loss for words, but I didn’t know how to surround my thought by words without sounding pathetic. “I am afraid.”
I looked up into the face I grew to love over these last days and found a frown taking place between his eyebrows, confusion clearly present in his eyes.
“I don’t know, of doing something wrong.” I threw my hands in the air before letting them glide thorough my wet hair in a desperate gesture. “Of being not good enough for you. I.. it’s… You are my first Calum.”
We have never talked about it, but it didn’t take much to figure out that Cal had already been with a lot of women. I felt it in every touch of his, he knew exactly where to place his hands, how to move, what to do. He was experienced, and I was not.
I didn’t mind him having other girls before me, I really didn’t. As said that was before me and I had no problem with this circumstances. What was my problem was the possibility of failure, of disappointing him and of losing him afterwards.
I could feel him placing his finger under my chin, forcing me to look up as he lifted his hand.
“Y/N. You already are better than everything I ever had. I am honoured to be your first.”
I searched in his eyes for any sights of dishonest or parody, but all I could see was tenderness and something I couldn’t quite make out, nearly seeming like love.
“Say you’ll remember me.”
Calum let his finger glide from under my chin to my cheek, where he rested it before softly caressing my cheek with his thumb. I allowed myself to cock my head to the side and rested it in the palm of his hand, closing my eyes.
Even before I could feel his forehead lean against mine, I felt tension build up in the air again and my stomach doing twists, as he took a step closer again, trying to close the gap between our bodies once more.
“I promise. Forever.” His words pushed me over the edge, leaving all doubts and worries behind. I was ready to give Calum every little piece of me, my mind, my body, my heart.
I got up on my tiptoes and pressed my lips against his plumb pair. With my heart beating on full speed I reached down between our bodies and stripped my panties off, letting them fall onto the wet wooden floor, where puddles of water were forming to our feet due to the rain dropping off our bodies.
Cal followed my actions and let his last piece of clothing join the ones spread out on the floor. I didn’t dare to look down and observe him in all his glory, but the lone feeling of his boner pressed against my stomach made me feel week to my knees, forcing me to put my hands on his shoulders to prevent me from falling.
The sweet kisses shared between us soon got more intense and lead us back to something I wouldn’t call a make out session but more classify as sharing love. His big hands, rough from probably getting himself worked up with his bike, stroke down over my bare backside, fitting perfectly into the curve where my butt changed over into my tights, as if it was solely created to lay there. Effortlessly he lifted me up and stumbled through his small room until his legs hit the edge of his bed. He took care to not let me fall and carefully placed both of our naked bodies on his bed, him on top of mine.
Thoughtfully he lifted my back and pulled the covers out from under my body, placing them over us to give me a small bit of guardedness, making me feel at ease with my nakedness.

Amongst Calum shove my legs open and placed one around his waist we suddenly heard the front door open, followed by a loud noise.
He simply ignored it but my mind suddenly was clouded with the fear of getting caught in the act.
“Calum, what was that sound?”
“Just Val coming home. Ignore it.” He hushed the words out while placing kisses all over my neck, but I couldn’t convince myself to concentrate solely on him again.
As the sound of shattering glass and a male voice got through upstairs he lifted his head with a frown on his forehead. Listening concentrated an expression of wonder replaced his former confused and alerted one.
“That’s my brother… What’s Alex doin’ her- Oi shit, what the fuck!“ A loud shot ringing through the house cut him off mid-sentence, bringing him to jump up from the bed and grabbing the sweatpants, former destined for me, off the floor while cursing under his breath.
Bending over my body lying exposed on his bed, he stroke over my hair and pressed a kiss on my lips before whispering to me accompanied by a determinative stare.
“I’m so sorry Y/N.”
I just nodded my head and buried it under the sheets, remaining in fear.

Calum’s POV

I sprinted down the stairs, nearly tripping over a few empty bottles spread out on the floor. At the bottom of the staircase I found my mom and brother shouting at each other, him carrying a gun and her with tears running down her face. A few years ago her appearance would have shocked me; smeared make up on her face, her hair in knots, her panty hose torn apart and her shirt riven by moths. But nowadays, I was used to it. I was all too well aware off her fucked up state of mind and her self-destructively behaviour to be startled. What was surprising me on the other hand was the sight of my brother. Big purple shades were forming on his cheek and under his eye, a cut extended from his eyebrow up his forehead and blood ran out of his mouth. Apparently he got into a fight and the question was: why would he? He was a college student with a scholarship and there was no explanation for his condition coming to my mind, nor one why he was at home. He hasn’t been since he started college three years ago.  

“What the fuck is going on? Alex you fucking asshole put that gun away!” I’d loved nothing better than to shout at the top of my lungs at the last two people I considered family, but I knew better than to unsettle Y/N who was still upstairs.
“Don’t dare you little shit call me an asshole when our stupid whore of a mother stole my shit!” His voice roared through the halls, destroying my attempt to save my girl the trouble.
“You shitty bastard, I brought you to live, the least you could do is repay your old mother since you left us for that fucking better live of yours.” The words loudly slurred out of my mother’s mouth and the little fresh circular marks on her arms confirmed her once again high state, on whatever drug it was this week.
“Valerie shut the fuck up.” Alex lifted his arm once again, pointing the gun at my mom.
It was a stupid move but I didn’t know how else to stop him and thus I tackled him to the ground, falling on top of his body and pressing his hands to the floor above his head.
Valerie took this opportunity and disappeared through the back door as fast as possible, probably taking shelter in one of her ‘customers’ flats.

A sigh escaped my lips and I rolled to the side, resting on the floor next to Alex.
I could hear steps in the hallway above us and as I turned around I found Y/N running down the stairs, my heart bursting at the horrified look on her face.

“What was that sound? Calum are you okay?” Tears were streaming down her face as she saw me lying on the floor next to my brother, breathing heavily with some of his blood smeared over my shirt. She must have thought I got hurt during a fight with him and I hated myself for putting her through this fucked up situation. That was the exact reason why I was afraid of speaking to her for weeks. The reason why I was just sitting on my front porch, admiring her from afar and forbidding myself to talk to her. Even though I didn’t know her back then I wanted to protect her. She was too pure and too innocent, too special and precious for somebody like me.  She deserved better than this. Better than me.
“Take my bike and drive home. I’ll come later.” I got up and pressed my keys into the palm of her hand, placing a hard kiss on her lips and inhaling her scent one last time before shushing her out the door and let her go. Shutting the door behind her I took a few steps back and took a seat on the stairs, staring intensely at my brother.

“She stole it.” He gritted the words out between his teeth.
“She always steals money, get over it college boy.”
“Oi, what?!”
“That bitch stole my meth.”
“God damn Alex, get over it and buy another gram. I didn’t even know ya still into that shit.” I shook my head with a smile on my face, laughing at my brother and out of some sick reason feeling happy that he was still doing drugs and hasn’t completely lost his inner South Side bad boy in college.
“I don’t do it, I sell it.”
The smile fell from my face.
“Alex, no. Why would ya do this? Fuck man, you got outta here ‘nd you’ve got a future ahead don’t ruin shit!”
“I already did ruin it.” He turned his head to face me and shock overcame my body at the sight of his glassy eyes, tears welling up in them. “I lost my scholarship. I started dealing again to come up for the college fees.”
“Please tell me you’re not dealing for them?”
Silence cut through the room and confirmed my biggest fear. Over him they found their way back into my live.
Michael, Ashton and Luke were back.
“Val stole about half a dozen. I bet with a look at my face you can tell what they did as they found out. I’m lucky they still consider you as their friend and show some kind of loyalty towards you, otherwise they would have cut my throat open. I’ve got three days to pay them back.”
“Fuck Alex… I hate you for making me do this - I’ve got your back.”
His eyes bored into mine, holding relief but also confusion, debating if I had gone insane to promise him my support. I got back up on my feet, outstretching my hand towards him.
“Don’t act surprised. While ya went to college those last years I was still hangin’ round this shitty place. Even if you forgot where ya from, I didn’t. We are brothers. We are from South Side. It’s an unwritten law. That’s what we do.”
A smirk formed on Alex’ face, as he gladly accepted my outstretched hand to let me pull him up again.
We hugged each other and patted our backs before I spoke up again with a big grin on my face and playful madness evident in my voice.
“Now drive me to my girl’s. You shithead ruined my chance of getting laid.”

To be honest I would have preferred a rather silent drive, but sadly we didn’t have much time and we had to think about a plan to come up with the money for my former band-mates. We were absolutely fucked. Robbing something was too hot considering my criminal records, selling weed which was my main income during summer months wouldn’t make enough money fast enough and stealing and reselling a car wouldn’t pass off in time. We ran out of options and more importantly out of time.
The drive passed without an upcoming solution as I guided my brother the way to Y/N’s house. I was biting my nails the whole time and smoked about half a pack to calm myself down, anxious to see her again and explain the whole situation.I just have never felt the way I feel for her before. Risking to sound cliché and stupid I have to say she makes me want to be a better person and for the first time in my life I was ashamed of my origins. I knew she would never judge me because of my family home, she wasn’t like that, but I definitely didn’t want to be driving to her house in the middle of the night to explain why my brother tried to shoot my mother. I wanted to be her shoulder to lean on, the person she would come to when she had problems or fears, not the person that caused the problems in her perfect world.I snipped the ash of my cig out of the window and nodded my head towards the left to announce her house’s entry to Alex. He pulled to the side in front of the gate, parking half on the sidewalk of the expensive neighbourhood.
I loosened my seatbelt and checked my pocket for my phone once more before reaching for the handle, wanting nothing more than to leave this car and be in her arms again.
Alex speaking up stopped me.
“That’s it.”
“Hm?” In thoughts I was already in Y/N’s room, apologizing and kissing away her tears away and I wasn’t really in the mood to discuss our plans any further this night.
“That girl. She’s the answer.”
A disquieting feeling formed in my stomach and made it twitch as I thought about the possible meanings behind my brother’s words.
“What do ya mean?”
“Look at the fucking castle she lives in. I bet her parents won’t miss a few diamond earrings and Rolex watches. Just go for the expensive stuff and screw that chick afterwards.”
Sickness welled up in my body at the thought of doing this to Y/N and leaving her, my hand crushing the cigarette in it together, burning myself in the process. I hardly took notice of the pain on my skin, the pain of losing her in my heart being way bigger.
“I can’t, Alex.” I turned my gaze towards my lap, my fists clenching together as tears of hurt started to wall up in my eyes, knowing all too well what was about to come.
Alex leaned over the centrepiece, his hand grabbing the handle before pushing the passenger door open for me.

“You can. And you will. As you said little brother;we are from South Side. It’s an unwritten law. That’s what we do.” 


This night sleeping became an impossibility. But on the contrary to all these other summer nights, it wasn’t the unbearable heat that didn’t let me drive to sleep, but rather the fault of solicitousness. Sorrow overbalanced my thoughts, as I lay in my bed and looked up to the stars, their infinity reflecting the inscrutableness of my scattered mind. I was worried about Calum, if he was well; and I was worried about us, if we were well.
The French window to my right stood wide open and let some of the cool air, rain always carries at its tail, breeze through my room, but there were still no sounds from the street reaching me. During this night the world seemed dead.
Under normal circumstances this uncaging silence calmed me down. I had always been a lover of these late hours, the blending from night to day, when nobody was out there and the world was without expectations to satisfy. But today it appeared unsettling, the calm after the storm somehow strengthening my dark prospects at the thought of him. But for all that, the absence of live outside these walls had the advantage of nobody hearing the loud sobs escaping my lungs, as I arrived at home, what seemed like a lifetime ago, with tears streaming down my face and hands shaking like a leaf.
Meanwhile the flood of tears had stopped and my puffy eyes and red nose where the only indicators of my former state. I wondered if he would come around at all and decided to distract myself with reading a book of E. A. Poe. The plan did work out great for about two minutes, until my mind drifted off to him again, the book, being the one I read when he first talked to me, not helping much to ban him from my mind.
With a weary sigh I put the roman back aside on my night stand and sat up in my bed, looking down at the pyjama, which I traded in for the still sodden clothes I had been wearing all night. A twine was sticking out at the seam of my blue pants and I began plucking at it randomly, as the sound of steps on the gravel road, leading to my front door, came to my ears.
Not even a second went by until I was standing on my balcony, looking down at the dark figure, my heart was beating in my chest rapidly and a heavy weight was lifted off my shoulders, at the time I identified the person as Calum.
I nearly flew down the marble staircase, as I ran as fast as my feet could carry me down into the hall, almost crashing into the front door, before opening the entry and throwing myself into Cal’s arms.
For a moment we just stood there, neither of us daring to say something. My head was buried in his neck, his chin was resting on my crown, our hands tangled around each other’s body, holding on our corps tightly with no intention to let go. Calum was the first one to break the silence.
“I’m so sorry.” His whispered words lost themselves somewhere in my hair, as he pressed kiss after kiss on the top of my head.
The sound of his voice was all it took for the tears to well up in my eyes again and find their way rolling down my cheeks. He probably wouldn’t have noticed my bewildered state, since my face was still buried in his body, but the soft sobs crawling out of my lungs backstabbed me.
It seemed like he was torn in his actions, not knowing how to react, firstly pressing me harder against his body and tightening his embrace, but secondly taking a step back and looking into my eyes. His hands found their way towards my cheeks automatically, his rough thumbs sweeping the tears away.
“Babe, please don’t cry. I’m so so insanely sorry for making you go through this.” Calum’s deep brown eyes held a ton of emotions, as he bend his head down a little to comfort me with his actions, but one was the most outstanding: hurting. He was hurt because of me crying, my harm was his harm. And knowing this fact let my heart swell in my chest.
But right now, between all these events of tonight, the only thing my mind was focusing on was him calling me ‘babe’ and I couldn’t stop a small sincere smile forming on my lips.
I must have looked rather funny and insane, standing there like a fool, a smile playing on my lips as tears ran down my face – and I started to giggle. It began softly but soon the giggles bubbled out of my mouth and turned into a full on laughing fit. Calum eyed me with a baffled expression but was gradually joining my infectious laugh. And that’s how it happened.
That’s how we ended up in front of my house, in this shallow neighbourhood were nothing but the right manners and the breadth of your bank account mattered, in the middle of a dead silence night - when those fits of laughter turned the atmosphere and lead to emotionally charged kisses.
During collapsing with laughter our eyes met and our lips crashed together. My hands immediately found their way to his neck, clinging into his soft locks in a desperate need to get even closer to him. Calum’s hands glided down my body towards my butt, pushing the seam of my shorts upwards, his hot skin displaying a heavy contrast to the cold breeze now whirling around my exposed backside. It was different than a few hours ago, when we have simply been two teenagers on the verge of discovering the other’s body to satisfy sexual cravings; now we were in need of each other.
He wasn’t as gentle as before, but I didn’t mind. We were hungry for love, for being the closest we could get.  
I completely lost myself in Calum’s kiss and touch, and that was my exact intention for tonight. I made an attempt to jump, whereby he got the clue right away and lifted me up, followed by me straddling my legs around his waist. He grabbed a hand full of my ass, as his tongue shove itself into my mouth, going back and forth in rhythm with mine. I had to clasp my legs tighter together, on the one hand because I was slipping further down his body as he started going forwards and on the other hand to bridle the outrageous lust bundling between them. His legs moving with every step caused friction at that one exact spot, driving me completely insane and bringing me to throw my head back in pleasure. He didn’t move his head as my lips left his, leaving his mouth on my neck to find a spot to suck on. His lips moved there with as much passion as he had put in kissing my mouth before, a mixture of gliding feathery over the sensitive skin, slight licking and hard sucking. They wandered around as if he tried to explore and infix every spot of my body in his mind, continuing his doings on my larynx and educing a moan from my throat. As backlash he only started sucking harder on it, winding up in more moans leaving my mouth, while he was taking the step of my front porch.
I wasn’t prepared for this kind of leg movement under me and glided down, leaving hanging somewhere in the middle of his thighs. Trying to shove myself up again, I unsuccessfully wiggled around a little, noticing my own inefficiency and changing my moves to wave like hip motions. My poor attempt of repositioning myself, expressing it in me pushing my core against Cal’s well noticeably boner, must have triggered something in him, because in the next breath I was harshly pressed against a wall. He literally rammed his hard on against my hips, solely holding me up with the pressure between our lower bodies, as his hands left my ass and found their way under my shirt. His forehead was leaning against mine, both of us grasping for air although to different reasons. Calum was still breathing heavily from putting his air in kissing me and I, I was still trying to get used to the tingly feeling he was sending through my body with his touch.
As reaction to his fingers gliding up my skin, new forming goose bumps appeared on my stomach, adapting to the unfamiliar touch of a boy. He let his hand rest dangerously close under my breast and my breath stopped. Calum opened his eyes, his gaze finding mine as he silently asked for my permission. I agreed with my lips crashing back on Cal’s and my hand placed over his, separated through the thin material of my pyjamas, guiding it over my bra. His body immediately responded to the newly created intimate contact and I noticed his boner getting even harder, although I thought of it as an impossibility. And being completely honest it scared the shit out of me.
I had absolutely no clue what I was doing, being unexperienced was an understatement to describe my current state of first-hand knowledge of sexual actions.
I wasn’t prepared for a boy showing up in my life anytime soon, not with my parents keeping that strict watch over me, I wasn’t prepared for falling head over heels in love within a month, and I most of all was prepared of this boy being him. My feelings for Cal were out of control. It was overwhelming, just like him, and I felt like being in the free fall. A free fall into the world of Calum Hood, into motorbikes, into drugs, into South Side – and I couldn’t do anything against it.
In spite of all that, here I was, pressed against the wall of my foyer, Cal’s hands grazing my breasts. He let his fingers glide over the wire of my bra, a lazy back and forth driving me sheer insane, before he let his hands slide over my swollen breasts and pinched my hardened nipples. An urging desire bundled between my legs and I pressed them intuitively together, as his thumbs formed circles over my cleavage. My eyelids got heavy of lust and I let my hands glide over his neck and shoulders, pressing my lips against his. The kiss got more fierce and steamy, a violent approach and withdraw of hot mouths and tongues. I shuddered and a sweet moan, escaping my lungs, lost itself in Calum’s mouth. Our cores were particularly merged and I had no chance of actually touching his lower regions, but the sole attempt of my hand gliding along the waistband of his jeans, let him loose his last bit of self-control.
“Fuck that’s it.” He hissed under his breath while stepping away from the wall. I nearly fell down at the loss of contact and pressure, but he swiftly yanked his hands out of my shirt and grabbed my butt again, catching me. My body was pressed against his, hand still resting on my ass, both of us breathing heavily.
“C’mon.” Intertwining his hand with mine, he haphazardly ran up the stairs, whirling around in a wild aim of finding my room. More precisely finding my bed.
“First door left.” I couldn’t even finish my last words before he was dragging me into the stated direction, the both of us standing in my bedroom within seconds.
Everything got hot and dizzy, a fire running through my body and I somehow lost my shirt. Cal took a step back, taking his time to admire me for the second time this day, the only difference was me being more confident this time. His hooded, lustful eyes scanned over every inch of skin, his chest raising up and down as if he just ran a marathon. I knew the feeling.
I was licking my lips and tried to control my breath, before losing consciousness.
He took my breasts in his hands, pressing them together before placing a kiss on my décolleté.
“I’ll never get tired of this view.” His whisper hit hot against my skin before he unhooked my bra, letting my underwear join the pile of clothes spread on the floor, as well as his own.
We found ourselves again tangled under my sheets, his tip placed at my entrance. He felt hot and smooth down there, almost silk like. His boner parted my flesh where it was wet and aroused, transferring me to unknown pleasure with his strokes. I softly whispered his name and buried my face in his shoulder. At his first penetration my teeth dug into his muscles, on account of the short sharp sting spreading in my core.
“All right?” Concern was wafting through his voice, as he stopped his movements in order to check up on me. I simply nodded my head, urging him to go on. I knew there was no going back; I wanted him, and I needed him.
I exhaled audibly, while he began to push further inside me, keeping his eyes glued to me, willed to stop anytime. It was a slow, easy rhythm, which gave me time to stretch and adjust myself to his size, before he grabbed my hips and buried his erection completely inside me with one last thrust. I was gasping for air; he filled me up completely. An ardour of passion burned me inwardly, I clutched to his shoulders and wrapped one leg around his backside. I lifted myself to conceive his kiss, as he started moving in slow motion. His muscles were hard as stone under my touch, he pulled back halfway and thrusted forward once again.
“Y/N.” He whispered my name into my hair, his hands gliding up and down my body in the most loving way, setting my skin on fire. It spread out over my feet, my stomach, my chest, up to my head, making me dizzy.
Our bodies were sweaty, sticking together where we blended into each other, where skin was slapping onto skin. My whole world was focused on the parts he was touching, nothing mattered, but the feeling he caused in my heart.

It wasn’t like in one of those teen movies. I didn’t enjoy it right away. And by all means I for sure didn’t reach my orgasm. It was the first time for me, I was in pain most of the time, bearable pain, sometimes mixed with slight pleasure.
It was neither two minutes in-out-done sex, nor sex with me screaming of lust at the top of my lungs, classified as near porn.
It was simple love making, leaving me overwhelmed and wonderstruck.
Leaving me with the realisation, that even the smallest hidden corner of my heart, was now entirely his.

Calum’s POV

She deserved better. I loved her, but she deserved better.
My brother was right hereof - boys like me simply weren’t made to love girls like her. I couldn’t deny were I came from and I couldn’t change the fact who I was, my origins – the real me – would always be close on my heels, trapping me sooner or later, no matter how fast I ran. This time it was part of my family showing up with drugs and weapons at home, a rather non-disturbing act for me, but utterly disturbing for her, and next time it would probably be something else. It would never stop, there would always be a next time; I was from South Side, and that’s how it was in South Side. There was no escape.
I was already too late for me, I wasn’t able to change my destiny, but I was able to be loyal to Alex and I was able to rescue her. I didn’t have the heart to drag her into this messed up life, if she had such amazing opportunities lying ahead of her. She wasn’t aware of it yet, but eventually she’d realize that there was no spot for somebody like me in her life. I was a rebellious act, I was an adventure. I’d just accelerate proceedings.
It broke my heart, but it was how it was.  
And so I looked down one more time at the girl in my arms, before getting up from her bed and gathering my things together in the dark shelter of her room. As I was fully dressed again, still smelling the rain in my clothes, I turned around once more. The moonlight fell through the window and tangled itself in her hair, shining a light on different parts of her face, letting her seem flawless. And as I stood there looking at her, I didn’t have the heart to leave without telling her at least once.

“I love you.”
Spoken out loud, the truth let the weight on my shoulders get even heavier, dragging me down, as I turned around and left.

Fifteen minutes was all it took.
Fifteen minutes to find her parents room, head into the dressing room, find the jewellery, rummage through the nightstands for cash, pocket everything and leave.
Fifteen minutes was all it took to fade out of her life.


I was woken by the sound of sirens, resounding through my open French window and footsteps echoing through the hall. I groaned in annoyance, turning around in my bed to sleep for a little longer. The breeze brushing my skin, as the sheets slid down in motion, reminded me of my nakedness and the events of the previous night. A smile formed on my lips and I blindly touched around my bed for Calum, more than ready to snuggle up against his side, but I didn’t feel anything.
I opened my eyes to find myself alone in my room, confusion forming a frown on my forehead. Lazily I got up and checked the ensuite bathroom, only to also realize his absence there. Putting on my dressing gown and making my way towards the hall, an uneasy feeling spread out in my stomach. I opened the door to my room and shock was written all in my face, at the presented sight.
Plenty detectives, obviously holders of the sirens and footsteps, were busily scurrying through my house.
Taking the first step out of my room, I collided with my mother.
“Y/N, there you are. Darling, what a sight you are. Please go and get dressed properly.” Internal she would have probably loved to turn up her nose at my appearance, but of course she’d never do something un-ladylike like that.
“As you wish, mother. What is the reason behind this turmoil?” I thought of Calum and how this version of me somehow seemed wrong on so many levels, since I met him.
“It is truly tragic. We were robbed tonight.” The still present frown on my forehead got deeper, my brows contracting. I was at a lack of understanding; how could somebody have robbed us tonight? “The detectives said there is no sign of forced entry. Darling, did you leave the entrance open or did you open it for anyone?” My mother’s interrogative look pierced into my eyes, while I brooded over the given information, and suddenly her face got blurry in front of my vison.
The curtain dropped. Now I got it.

He was gone…

He was gone.

And with him my naïve idea, that Calum Hood was loving me. 

If anybody makes it til down here, firstly I would like to thank you for reading this story and secondly I’d love to know your opinion whether positive or negative, both is fine x.:) 

Where Do Broken Hearts Go

Michael imagine based off of the song by One Direction. This is part of the Four Series, a series of imagines based off of the album Four. HOPE YA LIKE IT

My mind raced to that night. I made a lot of mistakes in mylife, but this one is the one that haunted me every night. I fought to forgetit. I fought to move on like I had planned that night, but I couldn’t. I felt unusually alone without her. I thought it would make me feel free and allow me to live my life fully. I was young and in a band I wasn’t supposed to have a girlfriend, that’s what everyone said. The media would make up rumors about me being out with other girls, so why not give into everyone’s words and end it?

Keep reading



Michael finally getting ready to leave  your house after staying there for three days. Even tho he doesn’t want to leave, you walk him to his car and practically force him inside. As you shut the door and turn around Michael reaches through the car window and grabs your hand, he continues to make excuses as to why he can’t be without you and before you know it you’re strapped into the passengers seat on the way to Mikey’s house.

High School AU series- First date

Read this before this because this will make this make sense  ;–)

The ringing of the doorbell made your eyes shoot wide open, ‘you have a girlfriend.’ You whispered quickly picking up your bag, but his hand was still grabbed onto yours. ‘Please don’t go. I don’t like the idea of you going on a date.’ Calum confessed making you frown, ‘You have a girlfriend Calum? I’m not letting you cheat on her.’ You said before opening the door seeing the devil itself standing outside. She rushed past you, shoving her face to Calums. You didn’t look back when you walked out of the door and to your house. Somewhere in your mind you thought he would rush after you saying that he loved but sadly that didn’t happen. You got home phoning up your friend rushing her round to explain everything. You felt numb, questions wrapping round your mind. Does he like you? Was he jealous of this made up date? You let your mind wonder as you waited for your friend.

‘So you’re telling me that the boy you have been in love with for like months nearly kissed you but you ran away?’ Your friend asked wide eyed and you paused, wanting to disagree but that was the truth. ‘Well I never, you’re a good person for not letting him cheat on someone. I would’ve felt horrible.’ She carried on as the spoon to her ice cream tub came to her mouth again. ‘But why did you say date?’ She asked after a moment of silence. ‘I don’t know, it just popped into my head. It worked though didn’t it?’ You smiled making her laugh.

The next time you were at school you made sure not to even look or speak of Calum, your mind shut him out. Over the weekend you over thought the whole situation, he was just teasing you. He had a girlfriend who he loved dearly and you were nothing to him. When you were in your French class you found yourself staring out the window, looking at the football game trying to see if you could spot him and eventually you found him, sitting out on the side lines. You scrunched your faced up, Calum had never sat out of a game before. ‘Calums sitting out of a game.’ You whispered to your friend next to you ‘He’s never done that.’ You added and she smirked ‘His heart is injured because you refused him.’ She giggled and you hit her on her arm, mumbling a quick ‘shut up’ before returning your attention back to class. When you left your friend to walk home, you felt your phone vibrate against your pocket. ‘Hey, I know it’s not scheduled but could you tutor Calum tonight? He has an exam coming up and we really need your help.’ His mum texted and you sighed, texting back an okay before diverting your route to Calums house.

You felt déjà vu as you knocked on his door again, he soon answered the door this time with a shirt on. His eyes widened when he saw you, ‘You agreed to come?’ He asked surprise filling his voice, ‘Yeah well they were paying an extra twenty quid.’ You muttered walking into the kitchen. ‘Let’s get this over with.’ You muttered finding the tension between you uncomfortable already. Calum didn’t speak, he stay staring at you as you found books from your bag knowing the test that was coming up because you were doing it as well. Suddenly he stood up, throwing a jacket over his body and grabbing your hand. ‘C’mon we’re going on an adventure.’ He spoke as he dragged you towards the door and into his car. ‘We’re meant to be studying.’ You protested sitting in his car, ‘Like I could concentrate with you sitting there.’ He muttered not wanting you to hear but you did. ‘Yeah well last time you were shirtless did you expect me to do be coping?’ you asked under your breath, not realising what you were saying. You looked up to see him smirking.

‘Where are we going then?’ you asked swiftly moving the subject along. ‘An adventure.’ He said and you looked at him in disgust, ‘you have no idea where we are going do you?’ You asked and he smiled guiltily. ‘You need more fun in your life, I feel like you have everything planned out. Do something spontaneous.’ He smiled and you grunted. ‘I don’t have everything planned out.’ You whispered and he shrugged. ‘So how was your date?’ he asked and you smiled, feeling quite guilty. ‘Erm, yeah.’ You stuttered not knowing whether to say the truth or not. ‘It was something.’ You whispered going back to the memories of Friday night, your back pressed against the wall as Calum came close to kissing you. ‘How’s your girlfriend?’ you asked trying to wince as you spoke but you swear you saw him shudder. ‘I wouldn’t know, we’re not together anymore.’ He spoke quietly and your eyes widened. ‘What?’ you almost shouted, Calum had stopped the car and you realised you were by a beach. ‘What are we doing here?’ you asked and he got out of the car, opening the door for you. ‘Going on a date.’ He smiled before holding your hand so you couldn’t object and wondering towards the sand. Once you were settled sitting down you sparked up the conversation. ‘So you broke up with her?’ you asked and he nodded shyly, ‘Why?’ you asked and you heard him sigh. ‘When you left I realised that I didn’t like her, she was just a rebound. A rebound to a girl I never actually dated. She was someone who was just there. I feel bad, I do because she put a lot of effort into the relationship and I just broke it down but I knew she had eyes for other people so I let her go.’ He said ‘Also you wouldn’t do this.’ He leant towards you, slowly kissing your lips his hand on the back of your head and your arms raised themselves so they were joined round his neck. Your kiss was passionate, it was long but you never got bored. Not like the other kisses you had.

‘I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist.’ He smiled making you giggle, ‘I like your laugh. It’s cute.’ He said making you blush, he moved closer you until eventually you were sat on his lap, your arms locked round his neck and you two were kissing again. You couldn’t keep your hands off each other, you ad no idea what was going on. Your mind hasn’t caught up your body, it hasn’t sunk in that Calum actually really likes you. ‘How are we going to tell people we’re dating?’ Calum asked once your lips had stopped, you raised your eyebrows. ‘We’re dating are we?’ you joked and his face suddenly fell, ‘I mean if you want to. I want to, you don’t have to.’ He rambled but you stopped with a kiss, the only way you could think of. ‘I would love to date you, I don’t think we should tell people just yet. I mean I don’t think I fit in with your friends.’ You whispered and he nodded understanding, ‘this can be out little secret.’ You whispered pecking his lips once before jumping ‘C’mon we haven’t don’t any studying and I want you to pass this test.’