This morning you woke up at 6.30am to go to the gym, as usual.
At 6.31am you reset your alarm to 7.00am and went back to sleep. As usual.
You are a worthless puddle of DNA.
I also know you’re thinking… “things are busy at Sorted, there’s food everywhere and by the time I get home I’m too busy/tired to exercise.” Grow a pair. You spend about 4 hours a week watching 24. Jack Bauer isn’t too tired to save Los Angeles and Kim Bauer wouldn’t look twice at you with that gut.
It’s counterproductive for me to keep going on about what a procrastinating little tit you are so I’m going to tell how to sort your life out…
Get up at 6.30am tomorrow morning and walk to the gym. Don’t go in. Turn around and come home. Do that 3 days in a row. That’s all. After that you’ll feel like it’s a waste of time just turning up and you’ll go.
Stop eating f****g fried chicken. You know how to cook. Roast some chicken and vegetables. You love that and it takes 20 mins. Make a plan of the stuff you’re going to make for the week and buy it tonight.
Go for a 1 mile run. Then next time make it 2 miles and so on. You know it’s an easy place to start and it won’t kill you. And you do have time, you spend Saturday watching stuff you’ve already seen. The next time you go to watch This is the End or Friends, slap yourself in the face and put your trainers on.
Write back on this blog one month from today with what improvements you’ve made. If it’s not good enough you’re going to look like a right tool and you’ll deserve it. If you’ve done something worthwhile, you may inspire someone. Don’t flake out. Man up.
SORT IT OUT.
I actually hate you right now but I’m doing this because you’re better than this,
Sorted is genuinely one of the best cooking shows I’ve ever seen and I have seen quite a lot of cooking shows. They are such a wonderful mix of entertainment and learning and they mostly teach you how to do things without fancy ass equipment.