michael grief

‘You’ll get through this’…that’s what people say, don’t they? They said that to me and it really pissed me off. What exactly does it mean, 'to get through this’? For what? What’s on the other side? I didn’t wanna get through it. I wanted to die in it. And then my mom, she said that grief is like a suitcase that sits at the bottom of your bed. And no matter what, without fail, you have to pick it up every day, take it with you. Some days it will be filled with rocks and you won’t think you can carry it. And then other days…light as a feather. That, she said, is 'getting through it’.
—  Claire Bennigan (The Whispers)
Michael’s Lance and Lucifer

So, I was super-psyched that Sam got to kill Ramiel with Michael’s lance, and I was also pretty stoked that Sam was the one who exorcised Lucifer from President WhiteDude.

I just read though on the excellent @dustydreamsanddirtyscars​‘ blog that Dean picked up the broken pieces of the lance (which I hadn’t noticed), and that she thinks that Rowena will mend it and then at the end of the season, they’ll probably kill Lucifer with it. Which now that I’ve seen it, I also am thinking is very likely.

So here’s the thing. I’d be pretty okay with Lucifer getting offed as the resolution of his arc. It’s not my preferred outcome, but it’s the best one I think I could reasonably expect SPN to give me. But I have a strong suspicion now that Dean is gonna be the one to do it, with Michael’s lance, and I’m having anticipatory anger.

Because- Michael designed that weapon to torture his brother to death with.

And Dean’s role, as a product of the angels’ centuries-long breeding plan, that caused immense suffering and death in the SPN universe, and over which Dean and Sam fought all of S4-5 to not do, was to have Michael use his body to cast that blow. And yeah, it’s better, because Sam (presumably) won’t be the body Lucifer is wearing if/when Dean kills him. But it still feels symbolically really icky to me.

Like, we the viewers are supposed to understand at the end of S5 that the angels and the demons are approximately equally bad; the Winchesters’ horrible family issues were caused by both sides. And that was before Dabb told us that Michael didn’t want to just kill his brother, he wanted to torture him first. It’s one thing to want to dispose of Lucifer because he’s dangerous, and, absent the family connection, I think it’s arguable that maybe an intentionally painful death could be reasonably framed as retributive justice. But they’re brothers. Within the context of family, torturing your brother is just more domestic violence, whether he “deserves” it or not.

I suppose maybe Sam will do it, which I’d still be uncomfortable with but less so (because then it’s framed not as retributive justice, but as revenge, which Sam certainly would be entitled to want, all things considered). In my cynical, bitter heart though, I am feeling like Sam got both the previous subsidiary “kills”, so they can give Dean the big one. Because some theory I can’t quite grasp about it would complete Dean’s arc as Michael’s vessel?

So hey, if any of y’all have something to add; whether it’s commiserating or offering alternative readings or whatever, I’d find that helpful.

Idk maybe im like reaching, but im still like not completely convinced michael’s dead? Like the narrator kept bringing up unreliable narrators and kept saying “im not one!” But what if he is? He also kept saying we never remember memories exactly like they are, who’s to say the way we saw michael “die” is what actually happened? We never saw his body taken to the hospital. “Someone” who we didnt even see, called Jane to tell her that her husband is dead? I mean a real plot twist would be making us, making the characters in the show, believe he was dead, when probably Rose planned to fake his death, because she knew he was the only one who could catch her if she came back with Luisa, even with her face changed. (I mean it would be incredibly fucked up if she took him for 3 years, but I’ve seen worse things happen to characters in real telenovelas). Or maybe im just in denial, but,,,, im just saying…

nomcther  asked:

Eve hadn't been handling her father's death well at all. She fought constantly with her mother, almost vicious to her at times when they fought over Michael and Eve's grief. She'd grown to be reclusive, keeping to herself to her room. She had a shirt of Michael's that she wore--even when his scent had begun to fade. She kept it close, wearing it most days rather than her own clothes, or carried it around as if it were a toy. She was only socially active when it came to helping with the pup.

Meme (x) l Accepting l @nomcther

i like the idea of luke and michael going on a huge road trip in a shitty car and they end up getting lost on the way back home because michael is totally shitty at reading maps and they end up arguing but quickly get over it, so luke offers to pull over and says they can just sleep and wait until the morning to drive home so he pulls michael into the back and then realises shortly after that they are both in fact too big and michael resorts to just lying on top of luke and cuddles into him and when michael falls asleep, luke realises he wouldn’t have it any other way