mexican jokes

What my Mom text me today:

“Mexican Words!! 

The teacher told Pepito to make sentences with his spelling words: 

1. Cheese: Maria likes me but cheese ugly.

2. Mushroom: When all my family gets in the car, there isn’t mushroom.

3. Shoulder: My friend didn’t know how to make tacos so I shoulder.

4.Texas: My friend always texas me forwards.

5. July: Ju told me ju were going to the store and july to me!! Julyer!!

6. Chicken: I was going to the store with my wife but chicken go by herself. 

7.Wheelchair: We only have one soda but its ok wheelchair.

8. Chicken wing: My mom plays the lottery so chicken wing.

9. Liver: A bully was messaging with my sister and I told him to liver alone.

10. Body wash: I wanted to go to the bar, but no body wash my kids.

11. Budweiser: That woman over there has a nice body, Budweiser face so ugly?”

every rip vine compilation
  • CHRIS! IS THAT A WEED?
  • mmhm, that is not correct! because according to the encyclopedia of *mouth noises*
  • it’s summer, i’ve got my hat on backwards and its time to fuckin party *walks into a garage door*
  • at least 1 ProZD vine (increase number the more the compilation creator is into anime)
  • at least 3 vines from the dude who does mexican stereotype jokes but isn’t even mexican
  • LIPSTICK IN MY VALENTINO WHITE BAG??
  • about 20 vines where they zoom in on the face really fast to land the punchline
  • the girl dancing to the intro of take on me and she turns around to reveal she’s wearing swimming goggles when the sting plays
  • the jeff goldblum version of the above
  • at least 3 thomas sanders vines (if the compilation creator likes steven universe, at least 5, one of which will be the one with the SU voice actors)
  • back at it again at krispy kreme
  • bitch, i’m washin’ me and my clothes
  • the woman running from the fake rat and making a weird noise
  • the rat running away with the weird noise from the above vine dubbed over it
  • what’s up, me and my boys are goin’ to see uncle cracker
  • WHAT THE FUCK IS UP KYLE
  • zach, stop, you’re gonna get in trouble
  • would anyone like some stew *hoverboards away*
  • hi, welcome to chilis
  • hi, welcome to chilis parodies
  • if the compilation creator is into bandom, 20 vines throughout of fucking…k-pop or something
  • “oh i love beth!” “you hate beth” “YEAH NO SHIT, HONEY”
  • i bass boosted the audio so it’s funny
  • “i like ya accent where you from” “i’m liberian” “oh i’m sorry [whispering] i like ya accent where you from”
  • the teacher saying hello and wearing different shirts
  • WELCOME TO BIBLE STUDY WE’RE ALL CHILDREN OF JESUS
  • the guy getting interrupted halfway through his skit by a snake crawling in the window
  • brandon ask me what kind of tree i have. ask me what kind of–brandon ask me what kind of tree i ha–it’s a chris pine.
  • dick cheney made money off the iraq war
  • at least 1 other gabriel gundacker vine
  • the game grumps one where dan throws a football at arin’s face
  • a mini ytpmv but the pitch is really off
  • “how can you know what’s good for me “THAT’S MY OPINIOOOOON”
  • a vine that was funny on its own but the person decided to put a stupid song over the punchline and made it less funny
  • bitch, huhu, why you mad? cuz my pussy pops severely, and yours don’t?
  • a white guy remaking a vine with higher production values but it was funnier when it was done originally by a black girl in her bedroom on her android
  • i smell like beef
  • dad, look, it’s the good kush
  • try me, bitch
  • the kid in the hoodie turning towards the camera while snoop dogg plays
  • why the fuck you lyin, why you always lyin, mmmm oh my god
  • a “what are thooooooose” vine (usually the one that ends with “those are my crocs”)
  • there’s probably more so add your own

PANDA MAGISWORD!!

Not a random crossover, Panda and Prohyas share the same VA in the mexican/latin american dub, and is amazing because both are adorable c:

I think is called Miguel Angel Ruíz

Also he voices Hot Dog Guy (The Amazing World of Gumball) and Joey Felt (Atomic Puppet). Oh yeah, the wonders of the mexican dubbing ^u^

Mexican olympics
  • Me: Hey do you know why there's never been an Olympics in Mexico?
  • Unsuspecting Victim: Probably because the country is riddled with poverty, crime and a slowly dying economy that-
  • Me: 'Cos anyone who can run jump or swim is already halfway across the border!
  • Victim: What is wrong with you
  • Me: A lot!