meupdate

So I got some news on Saturday about a very close relative who has been diagnosed with a rather serious form of cancer. All day yesterday I felt strange. Today, I identified it as supreme, deep down worry. On top of not wanting to lose this person, losing them would incapacitate my entire family, and I’m genuinely afraid. This isn’t like the other deaths in the family - which have been ‘on their way out’ sort of things… they’re in their prime. I’m simultaneously worried for them, and worried for all of the feelings everyone else is feeling/will feel. This is a new, special form of stress Iiiiiii don’t know what to do with!

In lighter news, I get to go back to my little scorching hot hometown next week to shoot videos and attend my first bachelorette party, which - judging by the facebook event - I will be confused by 100% of the time. I don’t want to buy my middle school friend ‘panties’. Although, I do intend to be nice and blitzed for my three days there.

Also: Does anyone else ever get this thing when they don’t have to work the next day that their brain goes into overdrive - my brain keeps saying “yeah just keep going!!! YOU GOT TIME” but I’m so tired.