meth lab


you discover that you are living in…

Aries: a zoo exhibit on humans
Taurus: the basement of a cult leader
Gemini: the household of a sleeper spy
Cancer: an alternate reality where dogs don’t exist
Leo: a coma that you can’t wake up from 
Virgo: an episode of The Secret Life of the American Teenager
Libra: an elaborate performance art piece involving kale gardening
Scorpio: the Matrix
Sagittarius: a hopeless marriage devoid of love
Capricorn: sin
Aquarius: a meth lab
Pisces: a pineapple under the fucking sea

Please fire me. I am sure my next workplace would love to know you wrote me up for giving a man, who was going into anaphylactic shock, some benadryl.  Yep, it says “dealing drugs” in the write up.