“I want another cigarette”
“I wanna draw”
*sits in uncomfortable position for way too long*
Cottonmouth AF bih
“Who stole my lighter”
“Who stole my dope”
*finds dope somewhere weird you hid it when you were tweaking*
“My heart is gonna explode probably sometime ya know”
*peeks out blinds*
*hates people touching me*
*passes out after 6 days with no food or sleep and sleeps for 3 days*
the best day lighting reference i could find for lapis pre-super watermelon island was in the guide to the crystal gems book. lapis’s night, ocean tower, and ship palettes are all very different to this. i palette swapped it with lapis’s day palette in barn mates.
as you can see, there is a very noticeable difference. the barn mates palette is much more saturated, especially her skin.
It’s been one year since I started doing crystal meth.
365 days and I can count how many days I’ve been sober on 2 hands.
Everything in my life has changed in one year.
In one year I
Got really skinny
Met a person from tumblr
Fell in love
Got an abortion
Lost my job
Ruined every previous relationship I had
Ruined the relationship I was in
Lost the best cat I’ve ever known
Lost the place I called home
Lost my boyfriend
Isolated myself to
Gave up trying
I’m not saying this drug was the cause of any of those things, but if I hadn’t used on March 27th 2016 none of those things would have happened. One thing did not change this year, that’s how much I truly hate myself. I did a lot of stupid things so I could get high. If someone that follows me is curious about trying meth, I can tell you that the first high isn’t worth it. You’ll get addicted and it will control all the things you thought you had control over. I don’t regret any of the things I’ve done, because I got to know what true happiness felt like. I got to know what loving someone with you’re entire heart meant. And it fucking hurts.
And to all the hate I’m going to get for my abortion calm the fuck down before you say shit. I was told that I was too thin to try to give birth. If I did decide to keep it, the baby and I would have died. I know I was too skinny because of meth, I know I had to end a life because of a drug. I’m reminded of that every day when I wake up until the time I go to sleep.
I hope someone takes something away from this.