metal-detector

ARIES: I heard that somebody with icicles in their chest once told you that spring was only for people that know how to be wanted but they were lying. Hardly anybody takes care of honesty the way that you do and somehow that’s still a surprise. Take the weight of your insecurities and lay them to rest underneath a gravestone. When wildflowers grow from what you buried don’t bother to pick them. They’ll always be there. Don’t you know what it’s like to come back to things? 

TAURUS: The peach pit on your dresser has been sitting there for years and it’s okay that you can’t throw it out yet. Okay that you can’t put it back into the fruit and unbite all of the soft and the sweet and the “maybe this time it’ll be different” that leaked out onto your fingers on the nights that your teeth feel too used to be desired. Wash your sheets and dry them outside. Lay underneath the clothes line and listen. Unclench your fists. Rewrite the grocery list.

GEMINI: It isn’t your fault that not everyone can swallow the parts of you that have sharp edges. You’ve been spending too much time forcing yourself down the linen aisle when you should be finding the nearest comic book store. There’s a reason superman is nicknamed “man of steel” and you deserve all of the iron-throated hearts that you can find. Invest in a metal detector. Don’t be ashamed of what you find.

CANCER: The way you bare your chest to the world is terribly brave and I don’t want you to continue feeling responsible for the people you’ve kissed that have taken advantage of that. Skin-deep damage does not make you unlovable, it gives you new perspectives. Don’t apologize for the ways you have tried to survive this. You’re better than the fires you’ve walked through and the storms you’ve caused. Suck on a peppermint until it loses its flavor. Name the taste after your last heartbreak. Now spit it out.

LEO: Your chest caves in whenever you think about the past and nobody’s ever told you that everything is temporary. Well, honey, I have some news for you. Start checking the mailbox again before the neighbors start to worry. People still want to stain paper with your name and martyring yourself over words is something you’ve become too talented at. Take a break, now and again. Burn the television set if that’s what it takes. Air out the smoke and look into a mirror, admire how powerful you seem as you step out of the haze of what’s gone.

VIRGO: Oh, baby, you’ve made mistakes and you’ve drained the bottles but you’re not the only one who’s felt like this. I know that it’s hard to let yourself feel these things but you have to try, you have to let the light in. It’s so dark in the room you’ve been using to store your regrets and your pallor has become a reflection of the ghosts you’ve been taking orders from. You were made for the sun. Let it kiss you without repercussion. Allow yourself to kiss it back.

LIBRA: So maybe you dropped too many pennies down the wishing well and now your wallet is nothing more than negative space. So maybe you forgot who gave you that good advice that one time and you’re still beating yourself up over it. Go ahead, admit to your faults. Set a place for them at the table and scold them for being late. Eat their portion and kick them out. Being familiar with every side to your geometric personality is not something to be ashamed of. Remember the angles, and keep moving. People like you are not meant to stand still.

SCORPIO: I think that your ears were made for listening to things that break. The shattering of a vase. The cracking of a heart. Does it ever get exhausting to be so awfully aware of how things sound when they forget to function? Nobody expects you to take every smashed hope and piece it together on your own. You are not a bottle of glue no matter how much you feel disaster sticks to you. I promise. You don’t have to carry that toolbox around, anymore. It looks heavy. Set it down.

SAGITTARIUS: You have your father’s mouth and consequently have dreams where you’re ripping it from your face. Somebody told you once that you were inadequate and now there’s a bruise on your ego and you can’t seem to stop touching it. Why are you so obsessed with how long it takes to heal? Why are you so afraid of letting people see you cry? Take off your armor and let your skin breathe. There’s still time to be okay with the idea of loss. You’re not too late. You’re not too late.

CAPRICORN: Stop using the word pathetic whenever anybody asks you to describe yourself. The people that hold you accountable for the abuse you’ve endured are the ones that turn away whenever they see it. You don’t need them, you never did. Can you feel that prickling sensation running up your arms? It’s tomorrow knocking and it wants to show you something beautiful. Let it. You’ve handled tragedy, surely you can handle tenderness.

AQUARIUS: You’ve been fucked over so many times it’s hard not to see yourself as a hotel room on the outskirts of town. Dark red bedsheets and rusty doorknobs and a lampshade that hasn’t been touched in a decade or two, this is where you lie and try to erase the memories from your naked body. You don’t want to belong to anybody almost as much as you don’t want people to believe they’ve changed you. They haven’t, you know that right? No matter how many people hike up mount everest it’s still a mountain. It’s still bigger than what’s stepping on it. It still keeps its name.

PISCES: You’ve become so good at sacrificing yourself for the possibility of something worthwhile that your body looks more like an altar than an assortment of bones. If this is your church I hope that your god looks like your nine year old face whenever somebody asked what you wanted to be when you grew up. I hope your prayer sounds like an exhale and that your choir sings in harmony and that every donation tastes like honey. Don’t forget to bow your head every once in a while. Remind yourself of your feet. Of how fast you’re able to run.

—  APRIL HOROSCOPES, 2/30, Caitlin Conlon
Elsewhere University- Feathers

Like a whole bunch of other people, I saw @charminglyantiquated ’s Elsewhere University Comic and got SUPER INSPIRED. And since she’s so generously encouraging other people to play in her sandbox, I present ‘Feathers’.  EDIT : PART 2 HERE

You go to Elsewhere University. You’ve been going to Elsewhere University for (years and years and years and years) for three years now. You know how things are. You’re not an RA, but… Mm, you could have been.

Might still be. Aren’t yet.

This is your junior year (you think). You know how things are. You carry salt in one pocket, iron in another, trinkets to bargain away in your book bag, offerings in your purse, pearls around your neck.

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restingbitchfaceisnotsadface  asked:

"I can start with how I went to marine science camp as a kid and end with that time I accidentally brought a flamethrower into the county courthouse" --- PLEASE EXPLAIN IM SO CONFUSED D:

So, when I was a kid, my parents worked full time, so during the summer, my sister and I were enrolled in day-camp so we’d be adequately tired when we got home, and my FAVORITE  camp was Marine Science Camp, run by MSI on the banks of redwood creek, right off the San Francisco bay.  It was AWESOME: we got to dissect squid, there was a literal shark tank, which we got to fish leopard sharks out of and Tag Them For Scientific Research, ad we’d go out on the boat once a week and do things like haul a net full of fish out, use a scoop to study benthic creatures and look at plankton under a microscope.  I realize now we were essentially doing transects, dissections and other field/lab work for a bunch of grad students but it was FUN.  

I totally wanted to be a marine biologist when I grew up and would tell anyone who asked me what I was into about nematocyts and oceanic acidification until The Adult realized their mistake and fled.

At the same time, I was pursing an aggressive interest in the visual arts, which my parents heavily encouraged, becuase they are excellent parents and because it;s was a QUIET hobby unlikely to result in bodily harm, unlike my sister, who got into karate and Theater, which is a surprising dangerous combination.

But then i got to college and realized an issue with this plan: I, hands down, SUCK at chemistry.  I did okay in into becuase I’m great at taking standardized tests, and the teacher got suspended halfway through the semester for getting into a fistfight with another prof for poaching his grad student, but Organic Chemistry was a disaster.  I’ve never been good at arithmetic, and balancing chemical equations is something i need the dang molecule models for. So marine bio was a No-Go.

So I switched my major over to Art, which turned out to be kind of a disaster (the school managed to lose an entire semester of my grades because the Art Department kept really sloppy records and i ended up dropping out and resuming college elsewhere) and AMAZING, becuase I took a human figure drawing course with professor [REDACTED] who announced on the third day of class:  “SWEET THE FOOLS JUST GAVE ME TENURE.  CAN’T FIRE ME NOW, SO LEMME SHOW YOU HOW TO MAKE A FLAMETHROWER”

The thing she actually taught us was how to modify a culinary butane torch to empty the canister at a much higher rate than any manufacturer anywhere recommends, which gives you and AWESOME bigass jet of blue flame, but only lasts about 30 seconds per container.  She also showed us how to make bandeliers so we could carry multiple containers, “just in case”.

In more practical lessons, we were in class when the first gov’t shutdown happened, so we didn’t have money for models, so she oped to bring in various animals for us to draw instead.  there was the usual cats and dogs, but also chickens, horses, a farm hog, a 12-foot Burmese Python and a baby deer that had been abandoned on her porch.  It was really fun, both becuase animals are amazing, and becuase they don’t hold still, so you learn to draw REAL FAST, which is a skill that’s served me well since.

A few years later, I was summoned for Jury Duty, and had to show up at the courthouse for selection.  HOWEVER, I’d put my usual bag in the wash the previous night, so I grabbed my old school backpack to take with me because I knew I had a sketchbook in there to amuse myself with.

I forgot I also had my flamethrower in there.

I live in a pretty low-crime area, so the metal detectors are actually pretty far into the building- you don’t get scanned until you’re actually going into the courtroom.  So for about three hours beforehand, I was sitting in the hallway having a Nice Chat with one of the state park rangers and the CEO of the local call center.  We get called in, and as we walk through, my backpack sets off the alarm.

“Fuck.” I say abruptly remembering what would have set it off.

“Do you have anything metal in your backpack?” the security guy asks me.  I think he was expecting me to say glasses.

“I forgot that I have my flamethrower in here. I’ll just leave this outside.”  I explain, hoping I’m not about to be arrested.

“Please open your bag or leave it outs- your WHAT?”  Dude stops halfway through his routine.

“Flamethrower.  I made it in art class and will definitely be leaving it here.” I say, carefully putting my bag on the table, zipper open , and pointing at the small butane torch.  The guard looks at it, looks at me (pls note, I am small, white, feminine and conventionally attractive so YOU BET privilege was happening here), before deciding that Art People Are Dumb and waving me in after wanding me to make sure I hadn’t accidentally brought anything else in my pockets.

I was not selected for jury duty.

In other news, I still have it, and it still works.  I use it for mass-toasting creme brulee.

batter-sempai  asked:

What just happened between idubbz and tana?

Alright lets get down to it

So, Tana Mongeau is a “Storytime” youtuber and what that means is that she lies and makes shit up to make her boring ass life seem interesting. 

One day she decided it was a good idea to tweet at idubbbz and tell him to kill himself for saying the N word. After her followers sent her a shitton of tweets telling her she shouldn’t start shit with edups, she takes it down, but claims its not because she doesn’t believe in what she said, but because she doesn’t like telling people to kill themselves. 

idubbbz, as we all know, gives absolutely zero fucks about anything or anyone, but if he smells weakness in you, its all over. So it was just a bit of fun for him to go to some meetup she was holding, get a ticket and a shirt and pop in for a photo-op with her.  He puts his arm around her shoulder, smiles at the camera and says “saaaaaaaay nigger!” 

Tana, shocked, peels off from him, idubbbz laughs and is ejected from the venue, goes home. All seems normal. 

Tana, however, cannot resist the urge to attention whore, so she puts up a video claiming he threw his arm around her neck, wouldn’t let her go, gave a thumbs up to the camera, made her fear for her life, made her fear for the lives of her friends, fans and family, smiled really creepily at her, forced her to get metal detectors and all new security and made her think of Christina Grimmie, etc. 

Originally posted by annefrankisgod

So when this fails to provoke a response from idubbbz, she makes a live stream talking about how she hopes he breaks his legs and loses all his subs, then spends a lot of time crying and screaming that she hasn’t done anything to deserve this, she didn’t do anything to him to deserve his fans talking shit about her or his photo op shenanigans, etc. 

This was ALSO a mistake, because that made idubbbz a little bit irritated. 

Originally posted by southparkdigital

so idubbbz made a Content Cop episode about her, wherein he fucking guts her and eats her soul. 

He splices in a few clips of her calling people “stupid nigger”, lying and generally being a scumbag. He takes her to task, with receipts, for every lie she told about him from his age (Insisting he was 30 when he’s 26) to his subscriber count, to the events of the photo-op (which he had video of that he showed), as well as her pretending not to know that “nigger” is a racist slur at the time she said it. 

He then went on to tear her apart over her past, present and future. 

The video hit 16 hours ago. Tana has since lost 10k subscribers and counting. idubbz has gained at least twice that, and is barreling towards 4 million at impressive speeds. 

The moral of course is “be nice to idubbbz, because he can destroy you”. 

good things about episode 61:

- everything???
- merle building a church and not abandoning the people when the hunger came
- barry and lup spending time together (even tho it was “off screen”)
- taako building a fucking replica of the light of creation out of GLOWING MUSHROOMS
- absolutely everything!!!
- magnus taking one for the team bc he didn’t want anyone to die and then consequently dying himself
- but really magnus died bc he ate some hard candy and took off his mask
- them saving the plane!
- robot plane
- ROBOTS
- EVERYTHING
- griffin using travis’ world (and then destroying it)
- MAGNUS PUTTING GIANT ROBOT ARMS ON THE SHIP
- the twins going looting
- LUP FINDING A GUN
- LUP FINDING A FUCKING GUN!!!!
- “COUNT THE SHELLS!”
- taako using a metal detector… for magic
- taako being totally down to burn the plane to the ground and lup standing up to him
- taako calling lup lulu
- the twins fighting (but not really) and taako seeing reason and standing by his sister in the end
- TAAKO CALLING LUP LULU!!!!!
- lups "hey taako? mhm mhhhm”
- lup giving a gun to the robots and saying “listen, light them the fuck up”
- saving a bunch of robots from certain(?) doom aka the hunger
- lup making everyone promise they won’t destroy any more worlds
- lup tearing up about returning to their home world- TURNS OUT IT’S BECAUSE OF THOSE 15 DOLLARS, GREG GRIMALDIS
- “you never see the justice league make that promise” 
- griffin: “and everybody else makes their way to the center and i think that’s the last thing we see: the seven of you - well the six of you-” 
travis: “WHO’S DRIVING???” 
griffin: “davenport’s like: ‘I’m putting my hand in too!’ and veers the ship left”
- everything

(In a homebrew space-based comedy game, our heroes find themselves infiltrating a rival company as “technicians”. The issue comes when they try to get on the ship to where they’ll be “working”, because they’re not allowed to bring weapons. They need those weapons. While two of them have weapons they can sneak past the checks, the other three party members have to get creative. One is a warrior-type with a rocket launcher, one is a scout with a handgun, and the last is the party medic, an eldritch abomination pretending to be human for the hell of it.)

Guard: Halt! Is that a rocket launcher?!

Warrior: It’s a work tool. I’m, uh, a demolitions technician. I need it for demolitions.

Guard: (rolls badly) Oh, okay. Carry on! 

Scout (OOC): Okay, I’m going to tape a couple of wrenches to my gun and claim that it’s a wrench itself and thus a valid work tool.

(DM gives Scout an “are you shitting me” look and rolls, critical failing.)

Guard: …Ah, of course, a wrench. Carry on!

DM (OOC): Okay, what about you, Doc? Your scalpels are small, but you do have to go through a metal detector with them.

Doc (OOC): Well… truth be told, I’m not entirely sure these scalpels are made of any metal known to man…

DM (OOC): You know what, I’m actually going to allow that.

Doc (OOC): I was kidding! I’m going to make a serious attempt, I swear.

DM (OOC): Eh, you had to get through somehow.

(This was the one and only time Doc got away with something like this.)

In the Arms of Justice Pt. 16 (Cop!Bucky Drabble Series)

Characters: reader x Detective Barnes, Natasha, Rumlow. 

Summary: Reader is a witness to a crime, tying her to the investigation as well as the police involved. She never would have guessed how that one night would continue to change her life years later.

Warnings: Some anxiety, also blood, murder, weapon and death mentions (none of it graphic), violence against women, gritty police drama tv show kind of feel.

Word Count: 1054

Tags at the bottom 

A/N: I’M BACK, BABY. A thousand apologies that it took so long for me to find my groove and stop being afraid of this fic. heh. I finally tackled it and miraculously, I’m in love with it again! Detective Barnes is back and I’m so excited for what’s ahead. :D Part 17 will be posted Friday, May 19! 

<<<Part 15  Part 16   Part 17>>>  

In the Arms of Justice Series Masterlist

Full Masterlist

_______________________________________________

Originally posted by imagine-that-marvel

Previously:

Entering her office once again, Natasha stepped forward.

“Y/N, this is Mr. Kopecky. His aunt and uncle immigrated from the Czech Republic and he would like to keep them here legally.”

The man was facing away from you, reading the degrees and certificates adorning the esteemed lawyer’s office wall.

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Kope…”

As he turned your way, you lost all power of speech, ice freezing in your veins. 

___________________

You remained frozen in place, eyes transfixed on the man who held a knife at your throat two nights ago and now haunted your dreams. Although, if you had passed him on the street you might not have recognized him. Instead of the bleach-blond hair and a clean shaven face, he now wore a knitted cap over a bald head with a few days’ stubble dotting his chin. Horn-rimmed glasses were perched on his nose and he wore khaki trousers with a long-sleeved black sweater and dress shoes. If it weren’t for the cold eyes fixed on yours and the scar on his left cheek, you could have sworn it wasn’t the same man.

Light bruising was visible under his eyes, you noticed as he took a few steps forward. His nose might not have been broken by your head striking it, but you definitely left your mark. Seeing him approach from across the room, you finally thawed enough to stumble to Natasha’s side.

“H-how did he get in here?” you whispered to her, your eyes never leaving his face.

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an Italian newspaper asked foreigners who moved to Italy what was the biggest culture shock they experienced and there was an American father who said that he’s happy to have access to medical care whenever he wants and delighted that his children don’t need to go through metal detectors or do field exercises to be prepared in the event of a mass shooting at school

Archaeologists and Metal Detectorists Find Common Ground

NEW LONDON, Conn. — Keith Wille was metal detecting in the woods of Connecticut a few years ago when he found a triangle of brass about two-and-a-half inches long with a small hole in the middle. He thought little of the find at first, and threw it in his scrap pile. Mr. Wille, 29, is a manager at a survival training company, but spends most of his spare time metal detecting.

In September, Mr. Wille drove from his home here to the Mashantucket Pequot Museum and Research Center with several boxes of objects — the highlights of his recent collecting. The museum — a vast, glassy structure that looks like an airport terminal, complete with a 185-foot-tall traffic-control-style tower — is a testament to the years when the Foxwoods Resort Casino made the Pequots the wealthiest tribe in the nation. Although those fortunes have declined, the Pequots are still financing projects by the archaeologist Kevin McBride, who works full time on what Lori A. Potter, a spokeswoman for the Mashantucket Pequot Nation, called “history that’s written by the conquered and not by the conqueror.” Read more.

anonymous asked:

HAHA THE PAPS EVEN GOT A HQ PICTURE OF ELEANOR STANDING WITH HER ARMS ABOVE HER HEAD INSIDE THE MEDAL DETECTOR I AM CRYIN. 😅😅😅😂😂

*the metal detector beeps over eleanor’s chest*

security guards: …

eleanor: not to worry, fellas, that’s just my stone cold heart haha

hey look! another unnecessarily long hc post!! as always blame @manonblaxkbeak but also pray for her i sent her nearly 100 (one. hundred.) messages about this

here we go

Six of Crows Modern/Zombie Apocalypse AU!!! 

The basics: Five homeless kids working B&E jobs for the local gangs in NYC and a rookie cop band together in the aftermath of a bioterror attack on the the major cities of the country. They decide to flee the country to escape the infected areas, but the entire plan goes to shit and they make some new friends and a helluva lot more enemies on the way to finding a cure to the virus and way out of the country.

  • Kaz: a brooklyn boy who showed up seemingly out of nowhere in the world of new york gangs, but quickly makes a name for himself with his ruthless efficiency. Fearless Leader, as always. He is safe cracker and strategist extraordinaire. he organizes hits on supply storage of survivalist camps and uses a bow staff to beat off zombies. he wears a brace on his leg that he fashioned sheaths to for two long ass daggers, also for zombie destroying.
  • Inej: stolen by a human trafficking ring she escaped upon landing in the states and started up with the gangs to make money to get back home. the spy, the scout. she sneaks into camps and finds out what theyre hiding where. she uses two big ass swords and has all the knives. so many knives. she never runs out. she decapitates zombies and intimidates any other survivors by being Very Pointy.
  • Nina: an illegal immigrant from russia who fled after the authorities put out a warrant for her arrest on the grounds of “homosexual acts” (”what the fuck? i’m bi. they could at least get my sexuality right if theyre going to imprison me for it”). she is the face of the operation, she is beautiful and amazing and she knows how to work diplomatically to get what they need through bartering and trade. also i don’t care if its impractical, she uses brass knuckles because theyre badass and fashionable. she also has one of those snap out metal core batons for beating people off and a machete for chopping off zombie heads.
  • Jesper: an accounting major with a gambling problem who took up gang work to pay for school. he has his signature pistols, but i am a strong believer in melee weapons in the event of a zombie apocalypse because ammo runs out, dudes, so my boy has throwing knives and a slingshot (fight me they’re actually really cool). Him and inej bond over their cool knives. He’s got those badass rainbow ceramic ones that he always had on him in case there were ever metal detectors when they were casing a place. 
  • Wylan: he’s still their resident explosives expert, a master of being cute and using household materials to make pipe bombs, fertilizer bombs, molotov cocktails, shrapnel grenades, etc. Wylan got kicked out for similar reasons to canon, his father is a UN rep and working with the CDC (idk man i don’t know how these things work just roll with it) after the outbreak. also he doesnt play the flute he plays the harmonica because i think harmonicas are cool, theyre smaller and less fragile than flutes, and it’d be really funny if he played it if they were ever stuck in holding at a precinct
    • just imagine jesper: “ayye boy what that mouth do ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ”
    • wylan: “play cotton eyed joe” *sick harmonica solo*
  • Kuwei: my brilliant boy is chemistry prodigy who went with his dad to family day at the CDC but then everything went to shit, a bioweapon was released, he missed his tinder date, and now he’s a hostage being used as incentive for his father to further develop this bioweapon released to create more zombies and spread to other countries. He super didn’t ask for any of this, especially when his dad got sick himself and died and he had to take over making increasingly aggressive strands. Pretty please message me if you are interested in my theories on the creation of zombies. I have ideas. 
  • Matthias: a rookie cop back from one tour with the special forces after some disciplinary issues regarding protecting refugees and going AWOL. He’s put on a task forced focused on gang activity and he’s been chasing this group of kids his damn age for over a year now and how the hell are they so good at what they do??? He’s chasing them when the outbreak happens and in order to escape a zombie horde ends up running off with them to find shelter. he’s an excellent shot and strategist, also known for physically tossing zombies like a fucking amateur mma fighter this boy is jacked ok he fills out that uniform like a stripper cop and Nina is most definitely Here For It

Miscellaneous plot ideas!

  • Pekka is a sleazy businessman who had jordie killed in front of kaz by some dirty cops while he was getting carted off to juvie for some work they were doing (he never made it to processing). 
  • They hole up in a hospital and find patient records - this is how they start to figure out the outbreak’s origin.
  •  The kids have are trying to leave the country through the CDC base since thats the only place with functioning travel. 
  • Kuwei is saved once they find out who he is while theyre sneaking around the base, Inej is taken in the process trying to protect him. 
  • The Dime Lions are basically the national guard.
  •  Matthias and Nina met when he helped her when she arrived in America, he knew she wasn’t here legally and barely spoke english but after a few weeks she picked it up fast, and disappeared with a bunch of his cash.