Can’t you see it? Can’t you read it in their smiles? In every word spoken and even more in those unsaid. Look at their faces. How long has it been since we’ve seen them smile? Really, truly smile? And we know it’s not fake, cause they can’t even see each other, but they’ll smile nonetheless. It’s real and it’s pure. It’s there in gentle teasing and quiet memories. It’s in a simple question. How are you, Dean? Well, in front of Sam he’ll shake that question easy enough, never was one for chick flick moments you know. But you can see what it means to him, how he’s still surprised that anyone would even care, and how much it means to him that Cas would bother to ask. It’s love. That’s what’s there, and if you can’t see it you must have your eyes closed. Because there’s not one second of this that says otherwise. And when Cas speaks there it is again. I miss life on the road, I miss the smell of worn leather and whiskey, I miss you.
“Okay. Okay. Alright.” But it’s not, and he knows it. Dean, righteous man, your work is never done. You fight for the world, but just once I wish you would fight for yourself. Wish you could see how much your life is worth. Wish you could have everything you deserve. Wish Cas could hear you whisper, “let’s go home.”
“I could go with you.” It’s an offer. Cas could be there. They could die together. Leave this world and all their troubles. Find freedom in sacrifice. What is Cas without his noble cause? Funny, isn’t it? That maybe death is the only way they’ll be together in the end. But it won’t be sad. Because for Dean and Cas, side by side, death will simply be another great adventure.
“No, no, no.”He says. You can’t come with me. You stay and I’ll go. Take care of him, look out for him, do this for me. And it hurts because that’s not how this story is supposed to end, torn and fraying at the seams, one half in darkness, the other in light. But he nods his head in acquiescence. And because Cas loves him, he does not follow.