i hear a lot about how being gay shouldn’t be “defining” of who i am and i wonder about that. i’m told by straight people that they don’t endlessly shove it in my face, that their personality isn’t defined by it.
maybe they’re right. maybe i’m sensitive. every movie every ad every tv - hey, maybe they’re the “good” kind of gay, that they appear clean, that they kiss and don’t tell, that they spend pride hiding.
maybe they’re right. maybe i would have been fine if i had just liked guys. if i hadn’t crushed myself into pieces trying to figure out the why of it, why i couldn’t just roll over and be done with it. maybe i’m weak and my personality fluctuated too easy: too many hey look at me you fucking gays too many stares and whispers too many “acceptance” speeches about threesomes too many times i bit my tongue and tried to swallow it.
it’s interesting. if someone says “i was bullied, and it changed me, and now it’s part of my personality,” we understand that. i know this because i was bullied. sometimes i think i was deserving - i was mean, ugly, dressed messy. when i tell people i often get genuine pity, i get people comforting me. of course i’m shy. look at what happened when i tried to be friendly.
but when i say “i like girls and it’s a huge part of who i am” people roll their eyes. something so small! they wonder. so inconsequential. and i wonder what that’s like, to not have something like your own love ever challenged or questioned - to have something that’s major to me be barely a note in your life.
“i’m queer,” i say, reclaiming the word they used against me, using this thing that has weight and was once used to strike me, carrying with it a community full of bloody history, outing myself in a moment of bravery - using it as a branding iron, a red light in a dark room.
@lilacxsehun requested: Jungkook/Reader inspired by the lyrics “He says I know what I want and I want it now I want you cause I’m Mr. Vain” in which Jungkook is the CEO of a big company you work for. Pairing: Jungkook | Reader Genre: Fluff/Smut; CEO/Boss AU Word Count: 12,037 Author’s Note: I’ve always wanted to try my hand at a CEO AU so I was very excited to get this request. As I was writing this, I wasn’t entirely sure if Jungkook’s position should constitute him more as a CEO or a boss but eh, ignore the technicalities.
Summary: In which an awkward first encounter with your new boss gives Jeon Jungkook all the more reason to make your job an interesting experience.
To say you are late would be a complete and utter, tragic and ill-fitting, understatement. By the time you were supposed to be here at the building, you had just finished adding the last minute touches to your hair with the straightener, and by the time you were supposed to be doing that you needed to finish your makeup and by the time that was happening—!
Well, you get the idea.
Point is, you are running incredibly behind on your schedule—as if life just wanted to prove a point that no matter how much it seemed you could stitch your life together by managing to land an interview for a company actually relevant to your degree, something always had to go wrong. It just so happens that the bad day you constantly worried about just had to occur today. On the day of your interview.
You think it might be enough to get you to scream. First, the power just had to cut off the night before, disarming your alarm clock and resetting all the previous settings so instead of just beeping at some abnormal time it just didn’t ring at all. Given that you had also forgotten to plug your phone in for charging the night before as well, there was no way that could have been any source of an alternative method for waking up. All of that led up to the simple fact regarding the issue that you have a very difficult time waking up in the morning even with an alarm, so having none only elevated that struggle, bursting out of bed after frantically wondering about the time, and attempting to compress an hour’s worth of preparation into 5 minutes.