meshak

i know
symmetry is pleasing
to the human eye

but you and i
were never able
to get it right.

even the structure
of this poem
seems out of place.

i usually write poetry
using three lines
in each stanza;
now, it leaves me
shaking
with unease.

the purpose of poetry
is to safely purge your demons;
to reveal your darkest secrets
cloaked in sugar sweet metaphors
and false cheeriness.

kill them
before they become tattoos
refusing to let go.

i can force my eyes closed
with trembling fingers
instead of reaching out
for your hand like i used to

but my limbs are slowly losing their grip.

2

‘Borders’ English Lyrics

Amber: Cause mom said
I’d be crossing borders
Never be afraid even
when you’re cornered
Stand up straight, fight your way
Fight your way, fight your way

All these people here
staring and looking at me
Shaking their heads eyes
down strong on me
What’s wrong with me?
Can you tell me now?
What’s wrong with me?
Can you tell me now?

The anger, the cruelty, I deserve it
And I’d do anything to
be what they call perfect
Then maybe I could find
a place to call my own and belong
But if only I was strong..

I’ll be walking with my eyes down
eyes down, eyes down
I’ll keep my eyes down
eyes down, eyes down

’Cause mom said I’d be crossing borders
Never be afraid even when you’re cornered
Stand up straight, fight your way
Fight your way, fight your way

Through the borders
Through the borders
Through the borders
Fight your way, fight your way

Through the borders
Through the borders
Through the borders
Fight your way, fight your way

Stand up, fall down, up again
Up against the pressure I am in
Slowly but surely I begin
Jumping trains ‘cause I know I can win

Oh fear not ‘cause
I know I’m in His hands
Though I can’t see
I know there’s a plan
So thick the fog but
I know I can trust
The feelings that
I feel when the roads rough

I gotta be tough with my eyes down
eyes down, eyes down
Strong in my stance with my eyes down
eyes down, eyes down

’Cause mom said
I’d be crossing borders
Never be afraid even
when you’re cornered
Stand up straight, fight your way
Fight your way, fight your way

Through the borders
Through the borders
Through the borders
Fight your way, fight your way

Through the borders
Through the borders
Through the borders
Fight your way, fight your way

No, I won’t play pretend
I can’t pretend
There’s so much more up ahead
All that’s up ahead
No, I won’t play pretend
There’s so much more ahead

Through the borders
Through the borders
Through the borders
Fight your way, fight your way

Through the borders
Through the borders
Through the borders
Fight your way, fight your way

Through the borders
Through the borders

youtube

This is a medley of Taylor Swift’s songs. The songs played are:

Love Story
Blank Space
Style
You Belong With Me
Shake It Off
Everything Has Changed
Teardrops On My Guitar
Speak Now
Back To December
I Knew You Were Trouble
Sparks Fly

I was inspired by a mash up I saw of Blank Space/Style, so I thought why not make a mash up of more songs! It took me a while to decide which songs I could use and in what order but finally it’s done! :)

taylorswift

But Even If He Doesn't

Daniel 3:16-18
“Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego answered King Nebuchadnezzar, "Your threat means nothing to us. If you throw us in the fire, the God we serve can rescue us from your roaring furnace and anything else you might cook up, O king. But even if he doesn’t, it wouldn’t make a bit of difference, O king. We still wouldn’t serve your gods or worship the gold statue you set up.”

This is one of the great stories of the Old Testament. The fiery furnace! What an incredible portion of scripture.

In my journey lately of revisiting prayer I’ve asked a lot about the idea of praying with confidence. I still don’t know what the balance is, but when I read this story the other day it jumped out at me.

“But even of He doesn’t…”

Incredible confidence in God, but their love of God isn’t based on him saving them from a terrible death.

Confident in His power, but more confident in his love & relationship.

Something to think about, I suppose.

Watch on djmeshak.tumblr.com

Sui generis

Made a video last night. 

all my original footage*