What probably happens when most people over-think mermaids:
- But how do they bang?
When I other-think mermaids:
- If their upper bodies are like human skin, what keeps it from deteriorating in the water like David Blaine’s body did when he was in that tank for a week?
- If mermaids build houses, would they have staircases or ramps? What would the point be? They could just float up to a new room through a hole in the ceiling.
- Do mermaids have a third, transparent eyelid that helps them see in the water?
- Are mermaids mammals or fish? If they’re mammals, wouldn’t their tails have to be made out of a more whale-like or dolphin-looking substance? Do they have to surface to breathe, or do they have gills? Can mammals have scales?
- How do mermaids reproduce? Do they lay eggs and then have their partner fertilize them? Do they live-birth tail first, like a dolphin? Are they like great white sharks, where the eggs hatch inside the mother and the babies eat the unfertilized eggs and each other until they’re ready to be birthed?
- What are baby mermaids called? Babies, pups, calves, fries?
- Do mermaids raise their young, or are they hatched/birthed and then on their own?
- If mermaids can become human, are they annoyed at how different gravity on land feels without the buoyancy of water acting on it?
- Fish apparently can’t control when they excrete or urinate (and do the latter pretty much continuously), though aquatic mammals can control it. Can mermaids? Would a mermaid turned human be incontinent?
- If the mermaid turned human turns back into a mermaid when they get wet (Splash style), would they turn back on an especially humid day? Would sweat do it?
- Can barnacles grow on mermaids?
- How would the Starbucks mermaid’s tails move when she swims?
- If mermaids existed, would they gather together and protest over-fishing by blocking boats, or would they stay hidden and just sabotage nets?
- Would mermaids go to that giant garbage island in the ocean and make jewelry out of our soda can plastic rings?
- Can mermaids cry? If they cry underwater, would anyone be able to tell?
I just have a lot of thoughts about mermaids.