voltron shrek au

alright. alright alright alright alright.

  • KEITH is quite obviously SHREK. loner. off-putting personality. intimidating at first. probably smells weird. odd concept of what constitutes hygiene. good heart. not the best socially. puts in effort that often goes unnoticed thanks to preconceived notions. could benefit from a lot of hugs. impulsive. also: keith lives out in the desert, shrek lives out in the swamp. 
  • now this may throw some of you for a loop, but HUNK is DONKEY. anxious. tendency to ramble. appreciative of what’s important. vocal about it when annoyed or upset. supportive and loving, but ultimately aware of your bullshit and will call you on it if necessary. scares easily. aware of his own mortality. gets stuck in threatening situations because of his friends. tries to have a positive outlook. a good friend to have on your side. hilarious. genuine. would make u waffles.
  • LANCE is FIONA. critically underestimated. demands the #best out of life. a little spoiled + loves to be pampered. petty as hell. easy to toss over your shoulder. sarcasm as a pseudo-coping mechanism. actually very accepting. big heart. not afraid of Emotions. hard fucking worker. lowkey leadership skills. damsel in distress but accompanied by the trope of being Surprisingly Competent. grody jokes. certified nastie. genuinely supportive pal. will fuck u up… but at what cost… at what cost….

and did somebody say PLOT??????

  • haha too bad, i don’t have one
  • ok that’s a lie i have half of one
  • keith is the human child of a galra commander who was killed in battle. he basically raised himself on this alien planet away from everyone else because he wasn’t accepted and treated as an outsider/monstrosity
  • lance, a prophesied paladin of voltron, is kidnapped from earth and locked away in space with the discovered lion, left there to rot as bait for the other eventual paladins/lions
  • it’s surprisingly effective as a means of weeding out the rebels against galra rule
  • that is until zarkon starts taking captives instead of killing them all, because he still is no closer to obtaining the black, yellow, or green lions
  • shortly after this is when shiro manages to escape and crash land on earth, found by hunk and pidge, who are desperate in their search to recover their lost friend lance, whose disappearance (*pidge voice* ABDUCTION) was covered up by The Garrison, same as the disappearance of pidge’s family
  • (yes, this makes SHIRO the GINGERBREAD MAN)
  • hunk and pidge rescue shiro, repair his crashed ship with their beautiful genius brains, and head towards the Castle of Lions with swiped secret info + coordinates from The Garrison—- who, they find, knew exactly what happened to lance, pidge’s family, and why
  • the galra start dumping the captives for keeping on keith’s land, so that they can have them on hand for gladiatorial training, slavery, or other uses. keith is livid, but mostly because he has to deal with Change and People and Things Were Fine The Way They Were, Like, They Sucked, But He Wasn’t Dwelling On It Okay and Still, This Is Worse
  • once hunk, pidge, and shiro have teamed up with ALLURA (ARTHUR) and CORAN (MERLIN), hunk goes alone to retrieve the yellow lion, but ends up getting captured by the galra en route
  • this is how hunk and keith meet
  • hunk figures out what’s happening based on keith’s angry ranting, and when sendak promises keith that if he can find a way to use the blue paladin to lure out the rest of voltron, he can have his lonely little asteroid planet back
  • hunk uses this as an opportunity to go save lance!!!!! and good thing he does because keith needs him to help save the day on balmera thanks to his beautiful new She’s-Not-My-Girlfriend, SHAY.
  • keith doesn’t know what he’s going to do once they get there and meet this stupid, trouble-making blue paladin
  • defect against the galra? double-cross the paladins to get his home back?? was it even really a home to begin with??
  • he CERTAINLY doesn’t plan… to fall in Love…………………..

just,,, LISten ,,

  • keith: it’s no wonder u don’t have any friends? hunk: wow, only a True friend would be that Truly Honest?
  • (keith driving over a cliff) 🎶 I DON’T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT MY BAD REPUTATION 🎶
  • hunk: (looks between keith and lance in disbelief) he’s as nasty as you are?
  • lance: (singing) bird: (explodes)
  • when a galra in the bush grabs a paladin by the tush that’s bad that’s bad that’s really really bad
  • keith: what am i? pidge: uh… really tall?
  • keith getting shot in the butt and lance having to pull it out
  • is that a euphemism
  • i don’t know
  • mullets are like onions
  • hunk: blue flower red thorns blue flower red thorns blue flower red thorns THIS WOULD BE SO MUCH EASIER IF I WASN’T COLORBLIND
  • blue flower 😎 red thorns 😎 #investigate

and that’s just the first movie,,

getting into things a while after they come out is the worst ‘cause like

I’m all excited about a thing but everyone’s already seen it and moved on so now I have to be all excited by myself :c

jensteed  asked:

Top 5 books?

1. All Sherlock Holmes Stories! (Three Garridebs, Dying Detective, or Charles Augustus Milverton )

2. The Merlin Series (Great Tree of Avalon too!)

3. On a Pale Horse (Basically anything by Piers Anthony)

4. The Hitchhicker’s Guide to the Galaxy series (probably Mostly Harmless)

5. Harry Kitten and Tucker Mouse

anonymous asked:

Send me a Fandom: Merlin

1. Merlin
2. I have to choose between like the only 2 female characters?
3. Arwen
4. Arthur/Morgana and Gwen/Lancelot
5. Merthur
6. Percival/Gwaine
7. Agravaine (never trusted him for one fucking second)
8. Season 3
9. It’s hard to choose just one episode.
10. Season 5 Morgana

Tagged by @simpyre, thank you ;) ❤  (part 2)

 1 My favorites movies : The Mummy, and Merlin (1998)

2  One year and a half have passed since I started my blog

3 I’m full of idea but I don’t have time to realize them 

4 I love taking pictures when I’ve time also

5 I ’m an addict to Ice Tea but I try to calm down my consumption

6 The pizza is my favorite dish 

7 I never go out without *my yellow boots

8 I’m not tall at all, sometimes some people think I’m schoolgirl

9 I don’t really like the Snow Queen

10 My favorites brand are Vivienne Westwood & Mod Dolly

Hardwood, Chapter 2

Merlin sets the lathe spinning again, selects a new tool, holds it steady against the guide, touches the sharp tip to the blurred wooden cylinder to coax gentle undulations into it between the wider flare of the crown and the base – and of course Harry’s mouth goes a bit dry just watching, no different to any other time he’s crept in here in the middle of the night to offer tea and watch the show. It’s partly the thought that someday soon this thing is going to be varnished and probably rammed inside him to test the first attempt with the new wood, but mostly it's Merlin’s hands: scuffed and untidy, always bruised, always grazed, roughened from work in a way Harry had never for a moment anticipated when they were back in university. His hands had been smooth then – gamer hands, avoiding the sunlight hands, always busy scrawling maths calculations and drawing intricate electronics diagrams on graph paper – and as for himself, Harry had blushed so hard the first time they got drunk watching the television in their shared room and one of those fascinating fingers ended up inside his arse that he’d thought he might have an asthma attack or something of the sort despite not even having asthma.

Things change, and he’s lucky they do.

The song fades out, and fades into Unchained Melody.

“No,” Merlin tells him, not even looking up from his work. Frightening how well they know each other, really. “Control yourself.”

“It’s just like Ghost,” Harry says, because he’d rather not control himself, thank you.

The sex shop AU nobody asked for, Chapter 2 of 4! Read it here on Ao3, or start from Chapter 1. (Harry/Merlin, Harry/Eggsy, Roxy/Percival)

Thank you to @draxl3rs for tagging me 😊

1. favourite tv shows? Glee, Gossip Girl, Pretty Little Liars and Merlin.

2. favourite football moment(s)? Aaron Ramsey’s goal in extra time to win the 2014 Fa Cup for Arsenal. Also in 2014 Derby County beating our local rivals 5 - 0 😜

3. dream job? A sports journalist in America either writing about the NHL or the MLS.

4. how long have you been on tumblr? Over 4 years.

5. favourite blogs? @arsenal-gooner
@arsewenger @draxl3rs@fcbarcelohna @kunessii @klaythompson @kunaquero
@leosmessi @oliviergiroudd @pppper @pitwall @rpatricio @teamvettel @vettell @welovemesutozil @wilsheresdimples @xavihernandes

6. first football crush? A footballer called Jay McEveley who plays for Ross County, but he played for Derby (my local team) when i was younger.

7. do you judge blogs by their icon? Yes a little bit. Hopefully they don’t have an icon of a player i dislike haha

8. in which country do you live in and where would you want to live if not there? I live in England but my dream has always been to live in America. I’d love to live in Dallas

9. 3 things you would take on an deserted island? My arsenal blanket, my phone, this small squishy football that a derby player gave to me haha. I use it as a stress reliever a lot

10. favourite characteristics? Well my favourite characteristics about myself would be my eyes and my thoughtfulness (i’m sorry if that sounds big headed but i do tend to put other people before myself)

11. what’s your lucky number? 17