merlin*g

4

how long are you going to keep punishing people for what happened then? […] you know, the more brutal you are, the more enemies you’ll create!

Radioman

Radioman by Footloose

Part 1 of the Loaded March series

Rating: General

Word Count: 35,000

Summary: The reason SAS Captain Arthur Pendragon can’t keep a communications specialist in Team Excalibur because none of them are good enough. And then Lieutenant Merlin Emrys gets assigned to his squad, and Arthur does everything he can to prove that Merlin isn’t good enough, either. Except he is.

Footloose is a really good writer - their most popular work We are all Diamonds may be familiar to you. The descriptions in Radioman were funny and original, but at the same time perfectly fitting to the situation - a feat that few people manage to achieve. Unfortunately, I find that their sentences can be too long. This forces you to read more carefully instead of rushing on like I usually do. Which, I guess, might not necessarily be a bad thing. There are also a few typos and mistakes that may further hinder comprehension, but these are very minor things.

On the whole, I loved this work. Just a heads-up though: you won’t get a nice satisfying ending, because it is part of a series. A 1.2 million word series. Which is admittedly rather daunting. HOWEVER. Even if you don’t manage to finish, I still think it’s worthwhile reading. It’s really that good. At least, for me, the euphoric rush of reading something really good that just sucks you in is worth a potentially unresolved plot. 

The first time I read it, I gave up around the fifth installment. This time around, I’m on the ninth one and still going strong :D. All the secret agent stuff is doing my head in, but it is still just as good and I have come to love it even more.

I highly recommend this fanfic (this series), but you have been warned. 

youtube

Dark Merlin | Alternative Trailer [Please watch in “HD”!] 
I tried really hard to upload this directly on to Tumblr but alas, it was not happening. Anyway… Some Dark Merlin murdering folks for your pleasure.
Please note: this is an AU. I don’t buy into the whole ‘merlin is actually evil’ thing so please, let me live. Otherwise, enjoy!

The Cake Is A Lie

AuthorPolomonkey

Rating: G

Setting: Modern AU

Word Count: 3,584

Summary

Merlin and Will pretend to be engaged to get free wedding cake samples. Obviously this backfires on Merlin when the baker turns out to be the gorgeous Arthur…

Comments: Oh my goodness, this fic is just delightful. The banter between Merlin and Will was hilarious, and I loved the interactions between Merlin and Arthur as well. So sweet!

the chamber of secrets

*Harry and Ron are caught by McGonagall in the corridors and Harry lies telling her they were on their were to see Hermione*

Lily: How very much like you, using his sick friend to get out of a tight spot.

James: What? I’m offended

Lily: Oh bite me. How many times you got out of trouble saying you were gonna go see Remus in the hospital wing.

James: It’s maybe like *counting on his fingers* 5– 6– no wait 7– oh that time with Sirius, so 8– aah the Easter prank, Merlin that was g– *Lily stares* Alright alright I get it. I’m a horrible person, are you happy Evans?

Lily: Not very much, but I was right so a little.

*Harry finds the crumpled paper in Hermione’s hand, they learn that the creature hidden in the Chamber of Secrets is a basilisk*

Lily: Oh it’s a basilisk, what a relief

James: Hermione is the Remus of their small gang, she solved the whole thing by herself.

Lily: What’s wrong now?

James: We’ll find out soon enough.

Lily: Isn’t it a bit dramatic to write on walls with blood?

James: *with disgust on his face* Slyhterins. Their minds work different, don’t ask me.

Lily: Oh god, it took someone

James: Not just someone Lils, it’s the red head. Ron’s sister.

Lily: *rubbing her eyes* He’s gonna go after it. I know it. He’s going to die for sure this time. Why did it have to be someone Harry knew?

James: Ugh, that git Lockhart, how do they even trust him with something as important? Do you remember how he used to swoon over Sirius all the time? Remus almost beat the shit out of him.

Lily: *shocked* He did WHAT?

James: I said almost, calm down. *grinning* Peter might have tripped him once but that’s all. No harm done.

*Harry and Ron go up to Lockhart’s class to tell him everything they know about the heir of Slytherin but he’s getting ready to go away*

James: That fucking prat. All those books, they are lies. I never understood why he was in Ravenclaw.

Lily: Well he always wanted fame and he got it. *Lockhart reaches for his wand to put a memory charm on Harry and RonHarry your wand! YES! That’s my baby.

*Lockhart, Harry and Ron go to Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom*

James: Ah Myrtle.. she was a lovely ghost.

Lily: What do you mean lovely? She hated my guts and I was always nice to her.

James: She loved us, Sirius was her favourite. *oblivious* Was Sirius that good-looking to attract any type of creature and human in Hogwarts?

Lily: Umm.. Well, he was. I can’t lie. He’s very good-looking, I mean with the high cheekbones and the grey eyes and the whole I’m coo–

James: Alright, I get it. 

Lily: *rolling her eyes* You asked and I replied. Don’t tell me you are jealous of Sirius?

James: *offended* Of course not.

Lily: Good, because we have a problem, they are going to the Chamber of Secrets.

*They go down to Chamber of Secrets and Lockhart takes Ron’s wand and since it’s broken it malfunctions while he tries to do a memory charm on Ron*

James: That son of a bitch. They are children, he could have killed them.

Lily: Forget about Lockhart, Harry’s into the chamber, alone.

James: Why would Salazar Slytherin built a room designed to look like a torture chamber in a school?

Lily: He had his reasons but the basilisk is ridiculous.

James: Who’s that? That boy?

Lily: I have no clue.

James: I hate people who act all mysterious. Get to the point.

Lily: Oh god he has his wand. How can someone preserve himself in a diary for fifty years?

James: I have an idea but it’s too extreme. I saw it in one of the books from Restricted Section while looking for information on animagi.

Lily: How extreme?

James: I think that might be a horcrux.

Lily: A what, now?

James: Something you hide a piece of your soul in so you don’t die, very dark magic and very hard to do.

*Tom Riddle is explaining how he opened the Chamber of Secrets using Ginny. He tells Harry that he’s his new target*

Lily: James? Can that be Voldemort?

James: How can it be? He has a nose.

Lily: *madly* James! This is serious.

James: Technically, yes.

Lily: Well, isn’t that fucking great?

James: It might not be Lils, I’m just making assumptions.

Lily: It’s a very spot on one James, I hate the fact that you’re so smart sometimes.

James: Was that a compliment or an insult?

*Tom Riddle reveals that he’s in fact Voldemort’s sixteen year old version, Fawkes arrives and a while later Basilisk comes out*

James: How’s the sorting hat and a phoenix will help him battle a bloody basilisk and Voldemort?

Lily: Harry turn around!

James: Okay I take my words back that bird is bloody brilliant. It took that thing’s eyes out. Harry, what are you– now is not the time to try the Sorting Hat on buddy.

Lily: He’s trying to do something, wait a second is that– is that a sword?

*Harry fights the basilisk and kills it with the sword but gets a fang to his arm*

James: HE’S GOING TO DIE, AGAIN.

Lily: No he’s not.

James: He was bitten by a fucKING BASILISK. How are you so calm?

Lily: For heaven’s sake James, do you know anything about phoenixes?

James: Care of Magical Creatures was not a favourite subject of mine.

Lily: But you got an Outstanding regardless, right?

James: Of course I did.

Lily: Ugh, I hate you. Phoenix tears have healing powers you dumbass.

James: That’s why you are so calm.

Lily: *sarcastically* Well, yes.

James:  Let’s hope Tom Riddle doesn’t kill him now that we got over the basilisk.

Lily: *confused* Is he going to stab the diary?

James: No but that’s genius, assuming that’s a horcrux he can destroy it and kill Voldemort for good.

Lily: Look Ginny is waking up.

James: Harry James Potter saved the day again.

Lily: I don’t think my heart can handle any more of these heroisms.

James: It’s not like they are going to have a problem at Hogwarts each year. 

Lily: I hope you’re right.

Outside the Border

Author: Fulgance

Rating: G

Setting: Canon AU

Word Count: 14,364

Summary

In the aftermath of the confrontation with Kilgharrah, Merlin returns to Ealdor to tell his mother Balinor is dead. Arthur tails him.

Comments: I loved this take on how Arthur could have found out about Merlin’s magic. It was angsty and heartbreaking when Merlin finally tells Arthur, but it was nice to see Arthur come around afterwards and realize just how much Merlin cares for him and vice versa.

elle’s self rec list

So I figured out that with the billions of fic I have written for Kingsman I would do a little list of those that are dear to me and I think you should all read. (I could legit put everything on this list, but 138 completed fics is a bit much even for me)

Of Flowers, Thunderstorm and Tranquility - M, Hartwin, AU

The fresh snow crinkles satisfyingly under his feet as Harry slowly makes his rounds of his part of the Forest. He is seconds away from humming when a whimpering sound from a bush nearby gives him pause.

Harry carefully makes his way towards the sound, on his guard. He gasps in surprise when he parts the foliage. He doesn’t know what he expected, but one thing is certain, it wasn’t the unconscious Summer Child curled up around himself.

This is quite frankly the one I think of as my masterpiece. (though that will probably change when Red and I post the bang). It took me over a year to complete, but oh boy am I proud of the result.

I’m not calling you a ghost - G, Hartwin

He closes his eyes for a few seconds, before opening them again. Hun. Still there. He must be on the really good drugs.

In the chair besides his bed, Harry Hart is sitting reading what must be a report, a little frown that only accentuates the scar on the left side of his forehead.

Definitely my most popular fic. Way back in the beginning, before we knew we would get a sequel, when everyone was sure Harry Hart was dead for real and not coming back.

Before getting 101 dogs, you need at least 2 - G, Hartwin, 101 dalmatians au

JB loves his human, but he’s getting rather fed up with how Eggsy won’t even look at the nice gentleman he’s clearly interested in they keep seeing in the park.

He’s going to take the matters into his own paws.

Short and sweet and I am still amazed at how much people liked it :D

Merlin, dogsitter extraordinaire - G, Merlin-centric, background Hartwin and Percilot

All through his childhood, he has had dogs and he’s always enjoyed their company and unconditional love. Then he had left for college where he just hadn’t had enough space to keep one and after being recruited into Kingsman he had just been too busy to even think about welcoming one puppy into his life and training him or her accordingly.

You like Merlin? You like dogs? You like ocs? This one got it all

I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice - G, Hartwin

“What I don’t understand is why you thought it was necessary to make a montage of every time Galahad appears in someone else’s feed though.”

“No, what you watched is every time an agent looked at Galahad’s when the boy was looking at you.”

I wrote this based on a prompt I got, but damn I still adore the way I chose to write this.

A Boxful of Kittens - G, Merhartwin

While he’s taking a walk around the manor, after coming back from dealing with Valentine, Merlin finds four kittens and their mother.

After what he just lived through, he cannot bear living them outside to fend for themselves.

Kittens and out three favourite men… What more do you want?

Only a fool would deny love - G, Hartwin

A princess’ kiss might have been Eggsy’s highlight of that horrific day. Because seriously who can honestly say they’ve never dreamt about kissing a princess (or a prince, because Eggsy is many thing, but picky isn’t one of those)? Until he got back on the plane and finds out Harry’s back from the dead.

The first long fic I started writing in the fandom. I really love it even if it shows that this has been written 2 years ago and I have definitely improved since then

Messenger of War - T, Hartwin, AU

He shivers at the brief contact of a hand on his shoulder and he forces the ripple of familiarity back down, but something in Harry’s eyes before he turns back and leaves hints that he is not the only one feeling it.

I am still stupidly proud of this fic okay and I’ll forever will be.

Kisses Like a Thousand Snowflakes - G, Hartwin, Roxlin, Percilot

“I wanted to know… What’s Kingsman’s stance on Christmas’ decorations?”
It’s hard not answering to Eggsy’s enthusiasm with a grin of his own and he doesn’t really try.
“Well since the Angels Incident of ‘97, the Garlands Debacle of ‘02 and the Reindeers Nightmare of ‘09, the late Arthur had put a ban on all the stuff and confiscate it all.”

This Christmas, mistletoe is everywhere and nobody is safe.

Okay this is a christmas fic, but who cares? It’s also the ultimate fix-it where everyone is alive and nobody’s dead.

Baked Love - G, Hartwin, AU

There were no other customers, but he didn’t think he was wrong in assuming it had more to do with the hour, after lunch but before the afternoon rush, and the awful weather, than anything wrong with the shop. For one thing, the interior was decorated really simply, but with enough nice touches to make it feel cozy. For another, the smell permeating the air, a mix of baked goods and coffee, was quite mouth-watering. The gorgeous young man walking out of the backroom with a polite but genuine smile wasn’t a slight against the shop either.

Or in which Harry is really a tailor and Eggsy works in a bakery shop.

Food and pining is a think one of the best combination in the world.

A Summer’s Day - G, Pre-Hartwin

Harry doesn’t sigh when he notices the empty bench in the familiar corner of the park. He had not gone on a walk with the intention to come here, but since Mr. Pickle has died a month ago, his feet continuously lead him to what had been their usual spot to waste a lazy afternoon away.

In which Harry recites poetry to a pug in a park.

Because meet-cutes are the best

Kingsman’s Nursery - G, Gen, AU

It is by sheer luck that James witnesses Princess Tilde’s kidnapping.

He’s only walking in the area, minding his own business, when he notices the infamous criminal mastermind Valentine and his deadly bodyguard Gazelle forcing the princess into a car.

In which they are all children except for Chester and Valentine, but they’re all spies too (or princesses).

That one was just too fun to write and I think more people should read it

Room for Three (Not Only You and Me) - G, Merhartwin

The first time it happens Merlin honestly doesn’t know.
Though, in Merlin’s defense there is nothing indicating that this is any different than usual.

Wherein Merlin date-crashes Harry and Eggsy’s dates without realising it at first. Except, when Merlin tries to give them some space, they don’t seem to be happy about it.

This one will always have a special place in my heart because this is the one that made me meet Red. Also writing about oblivious Merlin was very fun xD

Stay (A)head of the Case - G, Roxlin, Pre-Hartwin, Sleepy Hollow AU

In the relative comfort of the carriage bringing him to Sleepy Hollow, Merlin scoffs as he revises the facts that are known about the case he’s being sent to investigate.

There are already three victims, the Heskeths, father and son, as well as a certain widow Winship, and the only suspect is a Headless Horseman? Who could ever believe such rubbish really? Whoever the true perpetrator of those murders is, they must be having a jolly time indeed.

In which Merlin is a constable from New York sent to Sleepy Hollow to investigate a series of murders.

I just love what I did with this AU and seriously there isn’t enough Roxlin in the fandom

Come Sail Away (Into the Light of the Dark Black Night) - G, Hartwin, soulmate AU

Eggsy had always known his soulmate would be older than him.

Or no, that wasn’t entirely right. He might have been hearing his soulmate all his life, but it had been a while before anyone had explained to him what it really meant.

It’s a soulmate au, if you like those do you really need more? :D

Labyrinth of Love - T, Merhartwin, Labyrinth AU

It is not the first time that a mortal catches the fancy of the Goblin King, but it is the first time one catches the eyes of both Kings.

In which Merlin and Harry are co-rulers of the Goblin Kingdom and Eggsy makes what he thinks is an unfortunate wish.

Who doesn’t love the movie Labyrinth? Who doesn’t want to imagine Merlin and Harry as the Goblin Kings?

From your hearts, I make a home - T, Hartwinrox

Since he’s started living on his own, Harry has always done everything so that the house he goes back to feels like a home. Sometime it was all that kept him sane while he dealt with whatever trauma that came with being a Knight.

And sure, nowadays he doesn’t see much field work, but the rituals have stayed and being able to offer that sense of home to not one amazing being but two? It is priceless.

Because domestic fluff and Harry/Roxy/Eggsy is always a must

I Get a Little Bit… - G, Merlahad, Ghenghis Khan AU

Merlin is putting his two children to bed when his phone starts ringing with a too familiar alert. He curses under his breath, thankful that Roxy is already fast asleep and won’t reprimand him on his language.

It’s the Genghis Khan Merlahad au everyone wanted but nobody was writing really.

Love is a fabric which never fades - G, Hartwin, Dragon AU

When Harry started his hoard of clothing, it has come as to no surprise to either him or his parents. After all, he has been drawn to fabrics and texture and colors for as long as he can remember; one of his earliest memory the soft cashmere of his father’s brown sweater and the rough red scales of his mother’s skin.

Harry has been courting Eggsy dragon style for a while now without telling him because he’s a self-sacrificing idiot who doesn’t believe he can be loved. Luckily for them, Eggsy is no such idiot.

Quite honestly, I am very surprised by how much people seem to enjoy this??? Like sure it’s dragons, but I never would have expected the kind of response I got :O

Fairy Tale Ending - G, Mercival, werewolf AU

If it had been anyone else, if he had been stranded in the woods with, let’s say, Lancelot instead, he would have believed the words to be a very ill-timed joke.

But this was Merlin, Merlin whom he trusts with his life.

And Merlin’s a werewolf.

It’s a werewolf au. Need I say more?

Warm and safe, like a home - G, Merwin

It starts simple enough, with Eggsy bringing Merlin a cup of tea.

But before it can become anything more, Harry comes back from the dead and Eggsy realises he never truly had a chance.

Pining and misunderstandings but with a happy ending. I am sure I can’t be the only one who loves that

Can you imagine Past!Arthur in present day though

“Merlin what is that”
“It’s a house, Arthur”
“It doesn’t look like a house though”
“Arthur stop”
“oHMY G OD MERLIN WHAT IS THIS LIQUID IT TASTES FANTASTIC”
“Arthur calm down it’s orange juice”
“You mean to tell me you can bUY A BUCKET OF JUICE FROM ORANGES AT THE MARKET?????”
“Yes Arthur”
“dO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT WAS TO GET ORANGES BACK IN MY DAY??”
“Arthur shut the hell up”