merlin musings

bisexualsomething-deactivated20  asked:

Yeah but it gets to a point where him keeping the secret became ridiculous. Especially after Uther's death. Arthur wouldn't sentence him and I think Merlin knew that. It just became easier to lie and do everything by himself - since everyone around him was like YOU are the saviour, Merlin, you solve this shit. Also, remember how Arthur reacted? "You're not a sorcerer, I would know!" because they were so close, Arthur assumed he'd know about such a thing.

mouna also had another sorta-post about this that i replied to

aithuzah said: i always think that if he hadn’t been forced into lies by fear & circumstance, Merlin would b such an honest & genuine person. but instead it becomes a part of him & he has so few ppl to confide in he starts relying only on himself & trusts no one :c

basically yeah, i agree with you. if Merlin had told Arthur sooner in the series (before he was on his damn deathbed), things might have turned out a lot better.

but there are so many emotional factors that go into keeping a secret, esp one that’s both deadly and integral to his entire being, plus everyone telling him that he has to keep it hidden basically his entire life and only having a handful of people who know, only 2 or 3 at a time usually (before someone fucking dies)–

that’s why there are sooooooo many magic reveal fics out there. it’s an incredibly complex problem emotionally on both sides.

from Merlin’s side of it, even though it def MAKES SENSE for him to reveal himself after a point, it’s still scary as shit?? and an ingrained instinct after years and years of keeping that secret. not to mention that it would inevitably change every aspect of his life and relationships with every person he cares about.

like u mentioned that line with Arthur–Merlin KNOWS Arthur trusts him absolutely, and he knows that telling him would shatter that trust. it could take years to build it again, and even then, it would never be the same. it might end up better, but there’s always the risk that things would become so much worse, and Merlin would lose everything.

no amount of logic is going to change how fucking terrifying that would be tbh


Originally posted by livingstills

Prompts: “I like your laugh”

“What other hidden talents do you have?”

“Would it be okay if I kissed you?”

“Are you sure it’s safe going out in the wood’s today?” Merlin asked as he trailed closely behind you as you both walked down the corridor from Gauis’s workroom. “Gauis said we’re supposed to get a storm.”

You looked over your shoulder to him and smiled, throwing your cloak over your shoulders and tying the red string.”Merlin, I don’t think a little rain will kill me.”

“Perhaps I could go with you?” He offered, moving sharply to stand in front of you, blocking your pathway.

Your eyes went wide for a second when he suddenly appeared in your sight but you gave him a sideways look. “You’re acting very strange,” You pointed as you took a step towards him, placing the back of your hand on his forehead. “Are you feeling well?”

Merlin’s eyes met yours and his cheeks suddenly heated up, adorning them with a light pink hue. “N-No?” He said with an embarrassed laugh.

“You’re warm, perhaps you should go back to Gaius,” You suggested as you withdrew your hand. “I think you might have a fever.”

For fear of embarrassing himself further, Merlin nodded silently and quickly walked passed you, tripping on his feet as he did so, causing you to send him another worried look.

“…I meant to do that.” He covered quickly, straightening himself up and clearing his throat as he walked away at a fast pace.

Merlin kept his gaze locked on the ground until he was safely out of your eyesight before he crashed into the nearest wall, leaning his head back on th cool stone and placing his hands over his eyes as he sighed.

“Well,” A voice called obnoxiously, causing Merlin’s eyes to shoot open as he saw Prince Arthur standing a few feet away from him with his arms folded and a knowing smirk on his stupid face. “That was pitiful.”

Merlin groaned as he pushed himself from the wall. “How much of that did you hear?”

“All of it,” Arthur said as he gave him a look. “I also thoroughly enjoyed the part where you tripped on your own two feet.”

Merlin adverted his eyes and toyed with his scarf, opting to stay silent instead of making the whole situation worse for him.

Arthur raised an eyebrow at the absence of some clever remark that usually came after his teasing. “Come along, I have a coat that needs to be mended.” He called as he turned around and started walking in the other direction.


Though Merlin was grateful for distraction in repairing the many tears on the seams of Arthur’s hunting coat, he could help but be worried for you. The wind had already started to pick up and howl against the panes of the castle windows.

The clouds were swirling in a more moody shade of grey, and after only a few moments, rain started to fall and leave wispy patterns on the clear glass.

“Then whenever you’re done you can take my sword to the armory and-” Arthur stopped talking whenever he realized Merlin was staring blankly at the window. “I suppose I’m talking to myself then?” He asked as his voice rose.

Merlin’s attention slowly snapped back to the blonde prince and he blinked. “Sorry, we’re you talking to me?”

Arthur looked at him sideways. “No, actually I was referring to the unicorn in the corner of the room.” He said with a sarcastic tone. “Yes, I’m bloody talking to you. You’ve been giving sad eyes to the windows since you stepped foot in this room,” He stood from his chair and walked to the other end of the window. “So, tell me what’s wrong with you.”

Merlin’s eyes shot to his for a moment before they drifted back to the window. “It’s (Y/n), she’s out in the woods collecting some herbs for Gaius, and I can’t help but worry.”

“Because you fancy her?” Arthur asked, although he was well aware of the answer.

Merlin’s nervous laugh escaped his throat as he scratched the dark hair at the back of his neck. “I-I dunno if I’d call it that, but I do worry about her well being.”

Arthur rolled his eyes at the awful attempt of a lie his friend was trying to pull. “I highly doubt a little storm could hold back our (Y/n). You have nothing to worry about.”

Merlin smiled and was about to thank him when a large roll of thunder sounded in their eyes and lighting flashed clashed across the sky. Now it was Arthur’s turn to laugh nervously. “I’m sure she’s on her way home now, don’t worry.”


Merlin didn’t say much for the next hour, trying his best to quickly get all of his work done so he could go see if you had returned safe and sound. Arthur must have noticed the nervous fidget of Merlin’s movements because it didn’t take long for him to dismiss him and practically push him out of the door of his chambers and telling Merlin to say hello to you on his behalf.

Merlin jogged his down the staircases and corridors until he was finally at the door of his and Guias’s room. He took the opportunity to catch his break and fix his hair, making sure his clothes looked presentable and pulled open the door.

Unfortunately to his dismay, Merlin was greeted with the empty room instead of you sitting by the fire with Gaius as you read another book listening all the medical herbs in the kingdom.

“Gaius?” Merlin called out as he stepped inside, checking for any signs of you being there.

“Here!” Came his voice from the adjoining room. “You’re early.” The older man said as he dropped a pile of books onto the wooden work table.

“Arthur let me out early.” Merlin said as he walked further into the room, trying to hide the fact that his mind was racing and trying to figure out where you could be.

“Before you ask, no she hasn’t returned since I sent her off.” Gaius said as he raised a hand and sat down on his bench.

“But shouldn’t that worry you?” Merlin asked his hands tightly wound together and apart as his mind went.

“She’s a grown woman who is more than capable in handling herself, sit down and wait with me.” Gaius said as he opened one of his books. “Light a few candles for me and try to calm yourself.”

Merlin quickly set about his task, shamelessly using magic when his hands kept fumbling the matches. Thought he eyes darted to the door every time he heard a noise, thinking you would appear.

Gaius continued to assure him of your safety, explaining you often liked to take your time in the forests regardless of the weather, once even telling him how in nature is where you felt the most at peace and calm.

Merlin finally came to rest as he sat down opposite Gaius and rested his head in his folded arms, head facing the door so he could keep watch for you.

Time passed and Merlin felt his eyes growing heavy as the fatigue from the day started to catch up with him. His eyes were closed for a maybe a minute or so when the door finally creaked opened.

Merlin was up in an instant and his heart leaped when he saw the embroidered swirls in the deep crimson of your cloak and the woven basked you always carried brimming with colorful flowers and plants.

You turned around and looked at them. “Sorry, I’m so late,” You said through breathless pauses as you dropped the basket next to Gaius. “But I was able to find everything you needed and then some.”

Gaius let out a delighted chuckle as he searched through the herbs. “I must say, you are the best at what you do.”

You removed the hood of your cloak and Merlin finally realized the state of your appearance.

Your hair was dripping from the rain and strands of it stuck matted to your forehead. Your cheeks were rosy from the cold and he could see the rise and fall of your chest as you caught your breathe.

Though despite that the smile was ever clear on your face and Merlin could see the glimmer to your eyes.

Gaius cleared his throat when he saw how intently Merlin was looking at you. “My dear! We should get you a warm cloak and I’ll have Merlin make you something so you won’t get a cold,” He said, taking your arm and pulling a bench closer to the fire.

Merlin immediately went to the draft cabinet without having to be told and found exactly what would help you before taking Gaius’s place beside you.

“I shall be in the other room if you need me.” Gaius said as he handed Merlin a dry brown cloak to give you as he let yours up to dry.

Merlin turned to you and handed you the medicine. “Did you have any troubles on your adventure?”

He heard a soft laugh leave you as you downed the earthy-tasting liquid. “Not at all, it was nice to clear my head.”

Merlin smiled and moved to stand behind you as he placed the cloak over your shoulders. “Now let’s hope you don’t catch a cold.”

“Would you take care of me if I did?”

“Of course, m'lady.” Merlin mused as he bowed to you. “I live to serve.”

That brought out a proper laugh from your lips and it made it heart jump.

“I rather like your laugh.” He thought aloud and you both shared a tender smile before his eyes caught sight of your hands.

They were a little dirty and you had several cuts on the knuckles of your fingers. “What did you do?” He asked in a concerned tone and he gently sat down again, taking your hands in his.

“Oh just a few small scratches from some thorns, don’t worry too much.” You said before laughing at the expression he gave you.

“I’ll have to patch you up then, won’t I?” He asked before assembling some gauze and few soothing salves before quickly returning to your side and tending your hand.

You watch him carefully wrap up your fingers without trying to hurt you. “You’re good at this, any other hidden talents?”

Merlin laughed and shook his head as he tied the final piece of gauze. “If I ever figure them out you’ll be the first to know.”

He examined his work, and without realizing it he had lifted your hands and kissed the bandages, something his mother often did when he injured himself.

You didn’t mind but the instant Merlin realized what he’d done he apologized profusely before you calmed him down.

“I really didn’t mind.” You said to him with an assuring smile before you turned your attention to the fire.

Merlin’s heart fluttered in his chest and his head felt dizzy. Had he just really kissed you? Sure it was simply on your hands but that still was an act of affection he bestowed upon you.

In his adrenaline rush, Merlin turned to you. “(Y/n)?”

You hummed to let him know you were listening, and it wasn’t till your eyes met that he asked you something that had been on his mind for some time.

“Would it be alright if I kissed you?”

You were taken by the question at first, never really expecting him to say it you of all people. And before you could even open your mouth, he was stuttering over apologies.

“Wrong moment-I have horrendous timing, I’m really sorry, forget I mentioned it-”

You couldn’t help but smile before you leaned over a placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. “No, I don’t think I’d mind it at all.”

Merlin had the most shocked look you had ever seen on a man and you had to stifle a laugh. “I hope you have a good evening, and tell Gaius I shall return his cloak tomorrow.”

He didn’t say anything but his eyes followed yours as you approached the door.

You turned around and smiled at him. “Goodnight, Merlin.”

Merlin waited until he was absolutely certain you weren’t coming back his hand found the place where your lips made contact on his skin and a smile appeared on his face that was bright even the rain clouds couldn’t dim.

Determination (part 2)

Fandom: BBC Merlin

Word count: 1722

Characters: Arthur x reader, brother!Merlin.

Warnings: more fluff, feeling inadequate based on class, class snobbery

Summary: Part 2 to to Determination. Arthur decides to pursue the reader’s affections.

When you woke up the next morning, it was easy to convince yourself that it had all been a dream.

Of course, it was a very nice dream. It had been so vivid- you could almost smell Prince Arthur’s scent lingering on your clothes. But still only a dream, and there was no point lingering over it. At least it would make Merlin laugh when you told him about it.

By the time you had got dressed and eaten breakfast, you had managed to put it out of your mind. You would be especially busy today. There was a large meal to prepare for this evening, and you were to be paid extra for staying to help serve it.

The oppressive heat had finally broken, giving way to an onslaught of torrential rain. You chose one of your thicker cloaks and plaited your hair so that you could tuck it under your hood before you finally braved the weather.

Very few people were out on the streets as you hurried towards the palace. Even this early, it was unusual to see Camelot quite so deserted. You went as fast as you could without slipping on the cobblestones.

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merlin fandom is growing and i am so damn happy about it that i’ve decided to make a new masterlist (the ones that existed don’t seem updated anymore) to gather and love everyone.
if you are a bbc merlin muse, reblog this post with your muse’s name in the tags and once i have a page done, i’ll update this post with the list.

do you think that despite Arthur being such a romantic, he’s more than a little afraid of the forever kind of love, the kind that caused his father to tear his kingdom apart, to drown children and slaughter women, the kind that made him look at his own son sometimes in a way that Arthur thinks meant his father wished his mother had lived instead of him

maybe that’s what makes turn away from Merlin, because he loves Guinevere, but the way he loves Guinevere is safe, it’s not the way Lancelot loved Gwen; Arthur loves Guinevere but he knows he won’t ever look at her the way Lancelot used to, and if he dies in battle–because it can happen, he knows that–he won’t leave a hole the size of a mountain in Gwen’s chest the way Lancelot did, the way his mother left a hole the size of a kingdom in his father, and it’s not the way he knows Merlin can destroy him if Arthur ever allows it, so Arthur loves his queen and adores his best friend, and when he feels Merlin watching him when he’s not looking he doesn’t turn around, because then he’d know how his father used to look at his mother and he can’t let himself look back the way Guinevere looked back at Lancelot

that kind of love is dangerous, you see, and Arthur won’t let himself fall into its clutches; his kingdom is counting on him to not be his father

They’re Happy

Requested by Anon

Summary: “The reader is a maid to Queen Gwen, and she tends to spend a lot of time around Merlin and Arthur. The reader is pretty good at hiding her feelings for Merlin, while Merlin is shy and awkward and not very good. One day Gwen and Arthur are on a picnic and Merlin spills wine on the reader. He keeps talking and frantically mumbling about how sorry he is until the reader just grabs him by his scarf and kisses him, leaving a very amused king and queen.”

Warnings: Pure fluff

A/N: This is a bit short but I absolutely love how it turned out!

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“Oh,” Hiccup said, at length, blinking. “So…I guess that means you’re a Dragonheart, then?” He looked only slightly sheepish.

Toothless shrugged. “People will read it that way, I suppose. Truth is, I’m only a Dragonheart because you are, too.”

“But…I’m not a dragon,” Hiccup said, nonplussed.

Toothless smiled, and said in Dragonese, “With that heart of yours, you could be.

- Chapter 14, Umbreytingu

One thousand points to Parks and Rec for not only not ruining the entire show with the finale but for putting a lovely, not too cheesy but still cheesy finale together that wrapped up every storyline and gave every character the realistically happy ending they deserved. 

AU where Arthur realizes that magic is an inherent and natural part of the world and reexamines his worldview, comes to the conclusion that magic should be regulated but not banned, legalizes it, and is shocked and bewildered when his bumbling manservant turns out to be pretty damn good at using it

he consults Gaius, Merlin, Mordred, all the sorcerers he can find, to design a new system of laws that will ensure that dark magic is banned (necromancy, mind/emotion control, life and death–the real nasty stuff) and crimes enacted with magic are punished accordingly, but the neutral and beneficial magic is allowed, normalized, taught

after all this, Arthur gets curious and excited about magic. he pesters Merlin and Gaius with endless questions about how it works and what it’s like–the side of it he never knew was there, never got a chance to see or understand.

Arthur realizes what a disadvantage Camelot is at because of its lack of knowledge. he sends Merlin to other kingdoms to learn more and gather books and spells, as well as seek out talented sorcerers, welcome Druids back into the kingdom and the city itself.

he decides to add a division of sorcerer-knights to Camelot’s army, trained by Mordred and Merlin, who collaborate on different ways for offensive and defensive magic to complement physical weapon combat. he has city guards trained to use magic to contain magical criminals, calls for people with magical abilities to learn, to come forward and be unafraid.

AU where Arthur’s past, so shaped by Uther’s hatred and mistakes, does not define his future or the future of his kingdom.

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I really like blue and teal ok.

                                          [ One day you will ֆɛɛ

                             e v e r y t h i n g  that’s WRONG with me

                                           and then ƦƲƝ αωαу. ]

The little angel on your shoulder, Harry

For the prompt “AU of your choice” by hartwinweek 

-> An AU in which the Kingsman issued glasses can’t be turned off, Harry is half-blind and his ordinary glasses break when he goes to retrieve Eggsy from jail. Merlin is always eager to set Harry up with a handsome guy - no Harry, why can’t you just listen to me?!

Harry had to take a look. He didn’t demand this boy’s – Eggsy’s – thanks or appreciation but he had to see what Lee’s son grew up to be with his own eyes. He spent the cab ride browsing through the data Merlin had dug up for him and he had to say he was eager to meet this boy. He waited outside; there was no need for the officers to know who stole the delinquent from their grasp. He had time.

Eggsy appeared with a confused expression on his face shielded by a peak of a baseball cap. He kept looking all around himself as if he was trying to see something that would explain how he got out. As he walked down, he certainly didn’t notice the man in a bespoke suit leaning against an umbrella.

“Eggsy,” Harry called as the boy walked past him, “would you like a lift home?”

“Harry,” Merlin hissed in his earpiece, “you said ‘take a look’ and that I allowed you. Leave the kid alone. You sounded extremely creepy by the way.”

Keep reading

Merlin being an actual shit servant is hilarious to me

adjusting Arthur’s collar when he’s already completely dressed just to pretend he’s busy and productive

“cleaning up” by chucking all the shit in the room behind a dresser in the corner

randomly beating a hammer against a shield

yes Merlin learns quickly and works hard, but he has more important shit to worry about than hanging up the shirts arthur left all over the floor.

he just doesn’t give a fuck half the time and it’s fantastic

tbh i just ignore everything Mordred does in the last 3 eps. it wasn’t him, he didn’t go from “such hatred as yours can never triumph” to Morgana’s evil protégé henchman in the space of a couple episodes just because his girlfriend (who tried to kill the king multiple times) was executed after a fair trial. nope. it was his evil twin, Moredread.

                                     there are too many REASONS

                                                               why we can  {  n e v e r  b e  }

                                          the first is: уσυ'яє уσυ

                                                                the last–ɪ'ᴍ ᴍᴇ

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