meridian girls

M.A.D. Meridian-Anguila Duality

A girl surrounded by others yet all alone
A boy all alone yet surrounded by friends
These opposites could attract
But how long can they coexist?

Everyone searches for a purpose
Everyone wants to find their drive
In hope of finding the answers
We look to online communities

You’ve already found a foothold
By the time I start to look again
You see something in my actions
And offer your hand to me

All of the friends I thought I had
The relationships fell apart one by one
When I took that hand of yours
I thought I could try this again

The two halves of a doomed relationship
The inevitable destiny of yin and yang
This unstoppable force and immovable object
And so everything descends into madness

I share everything with you about my life
You share plenty, but not nearly as much
We laugh and yell about our interests
And I manage to overlook your pretentiousness

When you have no other options
You’ll often find yourself manipulated
Or rather, maybe it’s not manipulation
But my overtrusting and forgiving heart

Maybe if we had made better choices
The end wouldn’t have been as destructive
Maybe if I knew myself like I do now
I wouldn’t have hurt myself so much…

We work together to try and make something
Even though I’m left out of much of the planning
I feel like what I’m contributing has importance
And we’ll create something incredible

They say hindsight is perfect vision
So maybe that’s why when I look now
I see every single danger sign
That warned me of the destructive conclusion

As I start to interact more with others
I start to see what I’ve been missing
I begin to wonder if I’m a trusted equal
Or no more than an appreciated lackey

When I start to pipe up with ideas
They consistently get battered down
I might be stubborn in my views as well
But you won’t even consider a compromise

Days and days of arguing gets us nowhere
Slowly others lose interest in our squabble
I make the decision to cut personal relations
And attempt to remain as no more than a colleague

When I distanced myself from you
I finally found the kind people I needed
One friend is exchanged for many more
And I almost nearly feel at peace

As I interact more and more with others
More of your true self is revealed
You barely even think I’m real
How did I ever consider you a friend?

Your biases shine through bright as day
They become nearly impossible to ignore
You think the words you preach have value
And that’s almost as scary as their intent

There’s a certain point in every story
Where there’s no ability to turn back
We’re far beyond that point now
And now can only race towards the finish

One of my new friends gave me a gift
I took the NV-33 with a bit of hesitation
Now I pull it out of its case
And carefully load the cartridge

Every relationship I’ve ever been in
Always seems to end in pieces
Is there ever a time I open my heart
And tears don’t come pouring out?

I’ve given everyone my everything
I have nothing but cobwebs in my soul
There’s nothing I have worth losing anymore
So I’ll commit this sin and greet you in hell

This gun that I hold to your head
The bullet will pass through mine as well
But since I’ve lived a life without regrets
So I’ll pull this trigger without hesitation

Your face contorts into panic
I close my eyes and smile
Time for this M.A.D.
To finally be executed

The two of us are made into outcasts
We walk away towards our own kind
You continue to believe your opinions
And I’ll continue to believe mine

Maybe in a different universe
We could have avoided this
Maybe under different circumstances
There could have been a different outcome…

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psssst- my first asmr video is up on whisperpixie for anyone who was interested!