“I have five rules. Memorize them. Rule number one, don’t bother sucking up, I already hate you, that’s not gonna change. Trauma protocol, phone lists, pagers. Nurses will page you, you answer every page at a run. A run, that’s rule number two. Your first shift starts now and lasts forty-eight hours. You’re interns, grunts, nobodies, bottom of the surgical food chain, you run labs, write orders, work every second night till you drop and don’t complain! On call rooms. Attendings hog them, sleep when you can, where you can, which brings me to rule number three, if I’m sleeping, don’t wake me, unless your patient is actually dying. Rule number four, the dying patient better not be dead when I get there, not only would you have killed someone, you would have also woke me for no good reason, we clear?”
So I have this amazing friend
Her name is Erynn @swiftyfan87
She is beautiful, kind and a wonderful person
She also has terminal brain cancer
It is pretty much the worst.
No one knows how much time is left. But she is living life to the fullest, and I’m so proud of her.
Erynn adores you Taylor
Both you as a person and your music light up her life
And it would mean everything to her if you knew she existed.
A follow or a message would change her life.
I’m trying everything to get Erynn to you, but it has been hard,
And I don’t want to let her down.
before any more time goes by and there isn’t enough left.
So if you have a few seconds, it would mean so much
Thank you so much for everything Taylor. We love you to the moon and back.
It’s been a long day without you my friend And I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again We’ve come a long way from where we began Oh I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again When I see you again
The funeral was crowded. Many people had come. There were people Owen knew, and people he had never seen in his entire life. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered anymore. Callie usualy never sang in public, because she was terrified of standing in front of a big crowd. Today… She had liked it to make an exception. Seated on the first row, his mind could recognise every word. His soul did not.
How could we not talk about family when family’s all that we got? Everything I went through you were standing there by my side And now you gonna be with me for the last ride
Torres had also been the one who had pulled Owen through the entire day. She had been the one who made sure he would not freak out, or get an PTSD attack, because she knew his triggers. She had also been the one who explained to people why he had not talked since it had happend.
The first chapter ended with a bit of a cliffhanger, and this one will definitely be more mellow, focused mostly around Meredith, and a little bit on Owen.
new SUV was barely making its way through the rainy Seattle traffic. It was
that kind of moody rain, that brought on the blues, to match the slow tunes
lightly puncturing the silence of her being alone in the car. Slow, small but
dense rain, pressuring her thoughts into a corner, with no escape. And it was
opportune that day. She hadn’t had much time to think these days. Her workhours
had reached all new heights, and at home she felt on autopilot. Taking care of three
small children was eating away everything she had to give. There wasn’t
anything left for herself, let alone for those around her. They were her joy
though, and maybe they should have been enough.
eyes slowly got stuck on the bright traffic lights as she lost herself in
thought, or lack of thought. A sort of brain numbness. A sharp honk powered its
way to her ears from behind, ruining that last drop of meaningless calm she was
enjoying. The black SUV filled the narrow little streets close to home. She
turned off the engine after parking in the driveway, and allowed herself to
quietly watch the soothing rain drops explode on her windshield.
6 years ago, she
would be fighting off the moody Seattle rain, tucked away at cozy Joe’s with
Cristina and her laughing so hard, everything else would evaporate. No worry in
the world could penetrate those moments. Where had those days disappeared? She
would kill for a drink with her person, because she
knew Cristina would help her hide the body. When did life get so complicated?
Maybe she needed a vacation. She’s gotten to a good place now, being the
Chief’s right hand. Has she ever had a vacation before? But that thought was
quickly shot down, because really her life was not complicated, just lacking something.
Almost lacking purpose. Of course she had a purpose, to save patients, and
mentor younger doctors to become great doctors, raise her children to become
great people when they grow up. But what was her purpose to herself? What did
she want for herself? She wanted a lighter mood. Someone who could bring her
into a lighter mood, someone fun, someone to share her worries with, someone
who could take the weight of her shoulders every now and then. Instead all she had,
were people who were complicating her life, sucking her attention and energy. Her
sister in law for one, with her boyfriend drama. Work getting more complicated
and a lot less fun, with the high that scalpel-cutting once brought on its way
out. Alex and his immature self. Interns and residents who
needed constant supervision and guidance. So many heavy elements in her life
and not a single positive except for the kids.
That was Mer
real problem, she thought to herself.
No vacation could
fix that. Meredith realized she was all alone, shouldering far too many
responsibilities on her own, and they were weighing her down by the second, not
leaving anything for herself or anybody else. She didn’t have Derek to lean on.
Or Cristina to cheer her up. Just Alex. Who would soon be out of her reach,
because of Jo. Alex was there only when things got dramatic, when she sought
him and asked him for help. She needed someone there permanently.
Looking up, the lights were turned off in the kids’ bedrooms. She silently
thanked Amelia. For the little help she received from her, Amelia annoyed her ten
times more. Could she and Maggie be enough for Mer? How could they understand
or help with what she was going through? Or was she just not letting them in,
for some reason? She wished she had a boyfriend, a husband. Chastising herself
for that selfish thought, she leaped out of the car. How could she think about
The rain all of a sudden intensified, and Mer sprinted to the door,
for cover. As she fumbled for the keys to the house, she started singling out a
noise, that wasn’t the raindrops falling hard all around her. The noises got
louder, the thud of something falling to the floor jolted her steps quickly
into the living room.
For a split second she didn’t know what the hell was going on. But a
lightning followed by a loud thunder, cast clarity into the room, by revealing
Owen’s distinctive ginger hair. That prompted her into action flipping the
switch on, only to see Amelia’s face which was now turning a pale bluish. It
wasn’t as easy as she thought. Owen was in a trance. No shouting shook him out
of it. So she grabbed the nearest object rushing towards them.
The pain shooting up his body, interrupted the flow of adrenalin. He let
of the grip, leaving Amelia fall to the floor making squeaky sounds, and taking
the kids with her, who were now wailing upstairs having been woken up by the
He backed away, staring blankly for seconds while Mer kneeled down to
Amelia, cupping her face and checking her vitals. Amelia struggled to breathe.
“Amelia, I’m her now. You will be ok. I won’t let him hurt you
now. You’re safe.”
Amelia’s tears were threatening to fall, but she was still in shock.
"Amelia, I’m gonna go grab a paper bag so you can brea…”
But no sooner had the words left her mouth, that Amelia desperately threw
her arms around Mer’s shoulders, her breathing getting wheezier and a look
etched across her face that reminded her of Bailey’s when she would need to
drop him off at daycare. How could she have the heart to leave her when
Amelia’s face was so desperately begging her not to.
Owen was standing far off, shocked, feeling his body limp and numb,
and his hands shaking, not able to process what he just did. Again.
“Owen get me a paper bag, bottom right cupboard. And a pillow”
Mer shouted at him. He grabbed the pillow on the sofa on the way to Mer’s side,
but keeping them both at arm’s length, unable to trust himself. He watched Mer slowly
lift Amelia’s head to fit the pillow behind her head, then holding the paper
bag to her face with one hand, and the other wiping off the tears that had now
found their release.
“What have I done, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry” he kept quietly
Mer kept Amelia’s face on hers, and whispered she would be ok.
“The problem is back Owen, you need to get help” She didn’t
want to interrupt her eye contact with Amelia, while holding her hand into
hers, rubbing it reassuringly now. It was working, as Amelia’s breathing was
getting better, and her body was not as tense.
“I need to go” he said with a firmer tone this time, his
feet quickly following his words, as he headed to the door.
Ellis wouldn’t stop crying upstairs.
“Owen I need you first to go upstairs, get Ellis for me here and
get her bottle. Can you do that?"
"Owen”, she shouted with a shaky but firm voice, “Be back here
in under 1 minute. Or I will come up"
The words stabbed him, and then tipped him into the abyss he was still
staring down at.
How could he trust himself, to have children in the future, to even be
with a woman, to live with one under the same roof? This being the second time
it happened, it could happen anytime, his mood could swing back, with or
without the medication. Because this really was all in his mind. And this was
going to be bigger than a temporary lapse. It firmly wedged a thought into
Owen’s mind, that only expanded with every passing moment and no meds would
shake it out.
Thank you for reading this new chapter ! The next one will feature more Amelia and Mer, but also Owen and Amelia.