mentions of ableism

Why I Refuse To Support PETA

As most of you know, PETA (People for Ethical Treatment of Animals) produces lots of sexist, racist, fatphobic, and even ableist ads. Their ideologies match, unfortunately. They are incredibly unreasonable, too, and they effectively want to remove companion animals from human contact entirely.

Members of PETA have done the following to me.

  • Attempted to take my service dog’s leash
  • Threatened to take him away
  • Sent me death threats
  • Threatened to euthanize him out of “mercy”
  • Claimed that I am a “slavedriver” and “active participant in the speciesist h*l*caust” (Ah yes, please tell the romani-german-native girl that she’s basically a Nazi. Good idea.)
  • Left threatening voicemails on my phone.
  • Scared me so badly that I had to move house at one point
  • Grabbed my service dog
  • Tried to pry my hand off of my service dog’s harness
  • Threw paint on a faux fur-lined coat I was wearing (the paint got matted in my hair to the point where I had to shave my head)
  • Speaks openly on their hatred for service dog handlers.
Ableism almost killed Stephen Hawking in the 80′s.

This is a casual reminder that Stephen Hawking was almost allowed to die due to ableism.

Stephen got so sick because the advance of his ALS made his larynx weak and it wasn’t doing the job of keeping spit and food out of his lungs when he swallowed. In the 80′s, he contracted aspiration pneumonia while at CERN. He got rushed to a hospital where he was placed in a medically induced coma and breathed via a ventilator. Doctors urged Jane (wife) to pull the plug because “he’s too far gone”. 

Think about it: Doctors put Stephen into a position where he couldn’t answer for himself, tried to tell his wife that he was too far gone and tried to tell her she should pull the plug as an act of mercy. 

I doubt that would have been said if Stephen wasn’t so visibly disabled by his ALS. It’s funny how people in the medical field tend to be so quick to give up on a patient if they already have a visible disability when they are brought in, but will throw all the medicine and machines they’ve got at somebody who isn’t visibly disabled. I don’t think doctors even realize they have this bias.

Thankfully, Jane stood up to the doctor. She said no, declared that Stephen must live and had him returned to Cambridge. She knew her husband better than the doctors. She saved his life.

Stephen had a tracheostomy done, which prevented him from speaking, and he spent some time on a ventilator while he recovered from the pneumonia. He initially communicated via a letter board by raising his eyebrows when the right letter was chosen. Then he went on to get the computer that gave him his famous voice. 

A little aside– Stephen has the option to get a new, more “human” sounding voice, and he refuses because he’s grown quite attached to the “robot” voice he’s so well-known for. He sees that as his voice now and identifies with it. (”Even though it gives me an American accent,” he once joked.)

Later, he had a laryngectomy because his larynx was causing a lot of trouble with swallowing food. Getting rid of it increased his quality of life. As far as I know he’s still swallowing just fine and eats and drinks by mouth with help from his assistants. A video of Stephen talking about the tracheostomy and laryngectomy can be found here. (No surgery images, but he describes medical tests and talks about the problems with eating.)

He communicates nonverbally with his caregivers using just facial gestures. One of them said Stephen can just look at him a certain way and he’ll know whether he’s saying he needs attention or everything’s fine. I read somewhere that Stephen grinds his teeth to express disapproval. (Yo, behavior is communication!) He communicates with more than his AAC device, it’s just a matter of learning to read him like his caregivers do.

‘No quality of life,’ the doctors said in the 80′s.


I guess this is ‘no quality of life’.


[Stephen giving lectures at a university.]

[With the cast of The Big Bang Theory.]

[Experiencing zero gravity.]

[Looking sharp at the BAFTA’s!]

[In his office at Cambridge University, doing what he loves– trying to find the real theory of everything.]


Oh yes, his quality of life is just awful, isn’t it? 


The only person allowed to determine Stephen Hawking’s quality of life is Stephen Hawking himself. And guess what? His life is great right now!

He almost wasn’t here. Ableism nearly ended his life in the 80′s.

Thankfully, he’s still around to sass people and keep us curious about the universe.

Here’s a documentary where Stephen tells his own story in his own words. CC’s are available for those with hearing or audio processing issues.

* * * WARNING: Video has flashing lights that may upset seizures or migraines.
* * * TRIGGERS: Dramatized hospital scenes, food consumption and alcohol consumption. (not my video)

Btw the girl in the thumbnail is goofing off with him by making that face.

Below is a list of some highly recommended books written by people of color (in no particular order). They span across a wide variety of genres and target audiences. Thank you to everyone who submitted their favorites and helped make this list possible! Known triggers are in parentheses next to the books they apply to, but if there is something that has been missed or there’s a book you’d like me to add, please don’t hesitate to let me know! Happy reading! 

The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini (rape, murder, child abuse, domestic violence, child sexual abuse, slavery)
The Namesake - Jhumpa Lahiri
Migritude - Shailija Patel (gore, violence, rape mentions, abuse)
The God of Small Things - Arundathi Roy (child abuse, sex)
Joys of Motherhood - Buchi Emecheta (starvation, poverty, gore, and suicide)
Distant View of a Minaret - Alifa Rifaat (castration and death)
White Teeth - Zadie Smith 
Emails from Scheherazade - Mohja Kahf (sexual violence)
Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe - Benjamin Alire Sáenz (transphobic language/violence, homophobic violence)
Boy Snow Bird - Helen Oyeyemi
Sister of My Heart - Chitra Banerjee Divakurani 
Persepolis - Marjane Satrapi 
The Meursault Investigation - Kamel Daoud
Invisible Man - Ralph Ellison
The Summer Prince - Alaya Dawn Johnson
The Noughts and Crosses series - Malorie Blackman
A Thousand Splendid Suns - Khaled Hosseini (rape, murder, child abuse, domestic violence)
And The Mountain Echoed - Khaled Hosseini (rape, child abuse)
The Satanic Verses - Salman Rushdie
Sleepwalker’s Guide to Dancing - Mira Karoll
Born Confused - Tanuja Desai Hidier
The Queen of Water - Laura Resau and María Virginia Farinango (child abuse, sexual harassment/child sexual abuse, racism, internalized racism, internalized shadism)
Time to Dance - Padma Venkatraman
Interpreter of Maladies - Jhumpa Lahiri (implications of rape and sexual harassment)
Veronika Decides to Die - Paulo Coelho
Astonishing the Gods - Ben Okri
Kafka on the Shore - Haruki Murakami
Fasting Feasting - Anita Desai
The Buddha of Suburbia - Hanif Kureishi
Drown - Junot Diaz
Things Fall Apart - Chinua Achebe
Their Eyes Were Watching God - Zora Neale Hurston
Reservation Blues - Sherman Alexie
The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian - Sherman Alexie (eating disorder)
The Age of Shiva - Manil Suri
The Kitchen God’s Wife - Amy Tan
Tell Me Again How a Crush Should Feel - Sara Farizan
By the Light of My Father’s Smile - Alice Walker
A Case of Exploding Mangoes - Mohammed Hanif
No God but God - Reza Aslan
The Palace of Illusions - Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni
A Tale for the Time Being - Ruth Ozeki
Babji - Abha Dawesar
Unaccustomed Earth - Jhumpa Lahiri (implications of rape and sexual harassment)
Funny Boy - Shyam Selvadurai (violence, rape mention)
The House on Mango Street - Sandra Cisneros (sexual assault)
Americanah - Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Brick Lane - Monica Ali
No Longer Human - Osamu Dazai
A Bad Character - Deepti Kapoor (death, abusive relationships)
Karma and Other Stories - Rishi Reddi
The Burning Sky - Sherry Thomas
Reading Lolita in Tehran - Azar Nafisi
Climbing the Stairs - Padma Venkatraman
The Bluest Eye - Toni Morrison (heavily implied child sexual assault)
Coin Locker Babies - Ryu Murakami
The Joy Luck Club - Amy Tan
Please Look After Mom - Shin Kyung Sook
Bonsai Kitten - Lakshmi Narayan
Written in the Stars - Aisha Saeed 
The Hero’s Walk - Anita Rau Badami
Crazy Rich Asians - Kevin Kwan
The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao - Junot Diaz
Beloved - Toni Morrison
Woman at Point Zero - Nawal El Saadawi
The Golden Age - Tahmima Anam
Season of Migration to the North - Tayib Saleh
Norwegian Wood - Haruki Murakami
Snow - Orhan Pamuk
Purple Hibiscus - Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche
The President - Miguel Asturias (extreme violence, rape)
The Hungry Ghosts - Shyam Selvadurai
The Skin I’m In - Sharon G. Flake
Black Boy - Richard Wright
Cinnamon Gardens - Shyam Selvadurai
1Q84 - Haruki Murakami (domestic violence, horror, violence, pedophilia)
She of the Mountains - Vivek Shraya (explicit sex)
Island of a Thousand Mirrors - Nayomi Munaweera (rape, violence)
Chinaman: The Legend of Pradeep Mathew - Shehan Karunatilaka
Broken Circle - Theodore Fontaine (child sexual abuse, alcoholism, anti-Native sentiment)
The Reluctant Fundamentalist and Moth Smoke - Mohsin Hamid
Burnt Shadows, Kratography, Salt and Saffron - Kamila Shamsie
Last Man in Tower - Aravind Adiga
Birds of Paradise Lost - Andrew Lam
Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
Bitter Melon - Cara Chow (child abuse)
Q&A - Vikas Swarup
Five Point Someone - Chetan Bhagat
Motorcycles and Sweetgrass - Drew Hayden Taylor 
Lakota Woman - Mary Crow-Dog
Legend Trilogy - Marie Lu
The Young Elites - Marie Lu
The Wrath and the Dawn - Renee Ahdieh
An Ember in the Ashes - Sabaa Tahir (rape, abuse)
Where the Mountain Meets the Moon - Grace Lin
Half of A Yellow Sun - Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (rape mentions, graphic gang rape, and extreme gore/violence)
Children of The Jacaranda Tree - Sahar Delijani
The Twentieth Wife - Indu Sundaresan
Destiny’s Captive - Beverly Jenkins 
Tiny Pretty Things - Sona Charaipotra and Dhonielle Clayton (eating disorders, bullying, family issues)
Lakota Woman - Mary Brave Bird (child abuse, alcohol abuse, sexual abuse)
Flight - Sherman Alexie (child abuse, alcohol abuse, sexual abuse)
Nervous Conditions - Tsitsi Dangerembga (violence, eating disorders and mental illness)
Redefining Realness - Janet Mock (child sexual assault, child abuse, transphobia)
The Woman Warrior - Maxine Hong Kingston
Under the Udala Trees - Chinelo Okparanta (homophobia, violence against LGBT+ women)
The Ghost Bride - Yangsze Choo 
The Shiva Trilogy - Amish Tripathi (rape)
The Krishna Key - Ashwin Sanghi
To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before - Jenny Han
The White Tiger - Aravind Adiga

Shatter Me Trilogy - Tahereh Mafi
The promise - Nikita Singh
When Only Love Remains - Durjoy Datta
Nectar in a Sieve - Kamala Markandaya
Chords of Strength - David Archuleta
This Bridge Called My Back - Gloria Anzaldúa and Cherríe Moraga 
Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage - Haruki Murakami (rape/suicide mentions)
I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings - Maya Angelou (rape)
Draupadi: The Fire-Born Princess - Saraswati Nagpal
The Hybrid Chronicles - Kat Zhang (child abuse, violence)
Esperanza Rising - Pam Muñoz Ryan
Becoming Naomi Leon - Pam Muñoz Ryan
The Summer I Turned Pretty - Jenny Han
Snow Flower and the Secret Fan - Lisa See
Out of My Mind - Sharon Draper
Ghana Must Go - Taiye Selasi
Difficult Daughters - Manju Kapoor
Love in the Time of Cholera - Gabriel García Márquez (violence, explicit sex, death)
Birdie - Tracy Lindberg
Burn For Burn - Jenny Han
Mãn - Kim Thúy 
Huntress - Malinda Lo 
A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
From Heaven Lake - Vikram Seth
Two Lives - Vikram Seth
Zahra’s Paradise by Amir and Khalil
Parable of the Sower - Octavia Butler (violence)
The Mango Bride - Marivi Soliven (abuse)
Between Two Worlds - Roxana Saberi
When the Elephants Dance - Tess Holthe (rape)
The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle - Haruki Murakami
A Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel García Márquez (violence, explicit sex, death)
La Vie et Demie - Sony Labou Tansi - French (gore, sexual violence)
Girls of Riyadh - Rajaa Alsanea (homophobia, racism) 
The Secret Lives of Baba Segi’s Wives - Lola Shoneyin
I Do Not Come to You by Chance - Adaobi Tricia Nwaubani
26a - Diana Evans 
Cloth Girl - Marilyn Heward Mills
Lowlands - Jhumpa Lahiri
The Hidden Star - K. Sello Duiker
kemi’s journal - Abidemi Sanusi 
Imagine This - Vickie M. Stringer 
God’s Bits of Wood - Sembene Ousmane
Chronicle of a Death Foretold - Gabriel García Márquez (violence, explicit sex, death)
The Autobiography of Malcolm X -  Malcolm X (trigger warnings for rape, racism, death)
Roots - Alex Haley
Sultana’s Dream - Rokeya Sakhawat Hossain
The Crossover - Kwame Alexander
I Am Malala - Malala Yousafzai
Death, Dickinson, and the Demented Life of Frenchie Garcia - Jenny Torres Sanchez
When Reason Breaks - Cindy Rodriguez 
Los Perros - Lorea Canales - Spanish
The Secret Side of Empty - Maria E. Andreu 
The Wake of the White Tiger - Diamond Shamsher Rana
Blue Mimosa - Parijat - best read in its original language of Nepali 
The Bluest Eye - Toni Morrison (child sexual abuse, racism, violence, animal abuse, body image)
Empress Orchid - Anchee Min
Annihilation of Caste - B.R. Ambedkar
Palace Walk - Naguib Mahfouz 
How to Be Drawn - Terrance Hayes
When My Brother Was an Aztec - Natalie Diaz (explicit sex, drug references)
Boy With Thorn - Rickey Laurentiis
Between The World and Me - Ta-Nehisi Coates (police brutality)
Breath, Eyes, Memory -  Edwidge Danticat  
I Too Had A Love Story - Ravinder Singh
Can Love Happen Twice? - Ravinder Singh
Boys Don’t Cry - Malorie Blackman
If You Could Be Mine - Sara Farizan
Ash - Malinda Lo
Pig Heart Boy - Malorie Blackman (death)
The Pearl that Broke Its Shell - Nadia Hashimi
Brown Girl Dreaming - Jacqueline Woodsen
The Nexus Trilogy by Ramez Naam (violence, death, torture, abuse, ableism) 
Umrao Jaan Ada - Mirza Hadi Ruswa - Urdu
Why Are All The Black Kids Sitting Together In The Cafeteria? - Beverly Daniel Tatum
Citizen - Claudia Rankin
This is How You Lose Her - Junot Diaz
Teaching My Mother How to Give Birth - Warsan Shire
Whale Rider - Witi Ihimaera
Song of Solomon - Toni Morrison (violence, death, racism)
Who Am I Without Him? - Sharon G. Flake
Farewell to Manzanar - Jeanne Wakatsuki Houston 

anonymous asked:

Not a writing question but I was wondering what your opinions on the organization Autism Speaks were.

Ah, thank you for offering us an opportunity to share something very important to us. For those who aren’t aware, there is an organization in the US called “Autism Speaks” which claims to be a charity working to help autistic people. They are not a charity. They are a hate group.

Autism Speaks is not run with the help of any autistic people. It’s run by allistic people who think of autism as a horrible disease that needs to be eradicated. They run propaganda ads talking about autism like a plague which is destroying lives. They compare it to cancer. One of their propaganda videos famously shows a member of their board talking about contemplating killing her autistic child - while the child is in the room listening to her. Their goal is to “cure” autism - to wipe it off the face of the planet. They don’t see autistic people as people, but as tragic burdens to those around them. They want to take care of all the poor moms and dads whose lives were so tragically ruined when they found out their child was autistic. And they support organizations that torture autistic people and call it “therapy”, like the Judge Rotenberg Center.

This is not a charity. They think of us as broken, inhuman monsters who should be expunged from society. They are not helping us - they’re trying to exterminate us.

Their propaganda is a big part of why there is so much misinformation out there about autism and autistic people. The average person is likely to believe their claims that autism is a horrible disease, that the best way to help the people who have it is to cure them and make them “normal”. Especially the parents of autistic children might like the idea of “fixing” their kid.

News flash: We’re not sick. Autism is not a disease. At worst, it can be considered a disorder or disability, depending on your definition of such, but the vast majority of autistic people are perfectly happy being who we are. Our biggest hurdle isn’t some terrible defect in ourselves - it’s the negative attitudes and lack of understanding in those around us, and the expectation that our primary goal in life should be to act less like ourselves and more like the “normal” people who make up the majority (pro tip: there’s really no such thing as normal). Autism cannot be cured, because it’s not an illness. Our brains are hardwired differently than others, and that is a fundamental part of who we are. If you asked me if I would like a cure, I would look at you the same way as if you asked me if I would like to remove the color from my pizza, because it makes the same amount of logical sense.

Imagine if someone asked you if you would like to stop being (insert your nationality here). Like, just completely remove it from yourself. What would that even mean? Removing all your memories and experiences from that country? Erasing your native language and replacing it with another one? How would that even work? That’s the kind of thing that’s being proposed here.

What autistic people need is awareness, education, and sometimes assistance, depending on our individual needs. We dream of a world where seeing a person rocking back and forth gently and not making much eye contact isn’t met with indignation, disgust, or pity, and where our strengths are valued (and we have many!).

It should be noted that recently, Autism Speaks has changed their official platform slightly, supposedly focusing less on a “cure”, but I’m afraid I don’t buy it for a second. Anyone whose goal includes a “cure” at all is not advocating for our rights, and even if they did have a different mission now, the damage is long since done. Many of us may struggle, and many of us may wish there were certain problems we could do away with, but a “cure” is not possible and our goal should not be to eliminate autistic people from the world, especially given how much we contribute to society. Very few autistic people would actually desire a “cure”, even if one were possible.

So what does this have to do with writing? If you’re writing an autistic character who gets help from a charitable organization, do NOT make it Autism Speaks. That’s not what they do. If your character has any interactions with Autism Speaks, it will be more along the lines of being told they are broken and must be fixed, having the people in their lives treat them as less than human (or as deformed or defective) because they have believed the propaganda, being told they have no right to speak for themselves, and possibly suffering abuse and even torture at the hands of those who think they are “helping”.

There are plenty of good charitable organizations to help autistic people with what we actually need. If you want your character to support an organization in your story (or support the organization yourself by giving them positive exposure in your story), try one of these (and a little Google-fu can help you find a local one for you if you don’t live in the US or UK - search terms like “autism advocacy” and make sure it’s run by actual autistic people). We strongly recommend contacting them, letting them know what you’re writing, and asking how you can include them in your story and represent their work accurately:

Autistic Self-Advocacy Network (ASAN)

Autism Women’s Network

Autistic Rights Movement UK 

-Mod Aira

I’m just so tired of autistic children’s right to privacy being completely disregarded. I know this has been said many times before, but when are people going to start taking notice? To show kids on film having meltdowns, self-injuring, having adults reveal their personal information and talk about how hard they are to deal with as if they aren’t even there…how the fuck can anyone defend that?!

Okay I posted about this before but

Having a villain be disabled and/or disfigured is an awful trope

My point is not that a disabled person isn’t capable of being the villain, but that the trope is overused and harmful to disabled people

Disabled villains become dehumanized, universally hated, and “grotesque.” When that is the main disability representation in media, it can be super harmful

I want to live in a world where the villain can be disabled just because, but we are starving for positive representation that humanized us

We struggle enough just to have people recognize us as human beings, and the evil cripple trope makes it that much harder

okay but the fact that so many people who have been chronically ill from a young age grow up to actually deeply fear hospital and doctors appointments because after years of fighting for a diagnosis they are terrified of having their diagnosis’s dismissed again, of being gaslighted again, of not being believed or taken seriously again, of being denied treatments again, shows that there is a real fucking problem that need’s to be solved.

People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder are not inherently abusive. 

Personality disorders can cause symptoms, but symptoms cannot be abusive. Abusive behavior is a conscious choice, symptoms are not a conscious choice. 

Having a symptom, even a harmful one, does not make you abusive. 

Failing to hold yourself accountable to make amends or address the impact of your symptoms, when possible for you to, can or may be toxic or abusive. Using NPD or BPD as an excuse for abusive behavior is ableist.

Mental illness is not an excuse for abusive behavior. Mental illness does not cause abusive behavior. The choice to be abusive is the one and only cause of abusive behavior.  

Let’s stop stigmatizing people with NPD and BPD as being abusive. 

New fun game for all the family, anyone that leaves “this is made up” comments on any of my health posts gets deleted and blocked. That’s it. That’s the game.

I’ve spent the last three years recovering from medical neglect (and sometimes straight up abuse) that made me feel like I was lying about my pain and symptoms to the point where it almost killed me. Twice.

And I’m sorry that I’m a better writer than you and am able to convey things in a way that people find funny and relatable. But I’ve worked hard to be good at what I do. I’ve been doing the online equivalent of stand up comedy for almost 15 years. Writing is a skill I work very hard at, rather than say, blaming others for my own mediocrity and feeling the need to send messages calling someone a liar cause my own world view begins and ends within the limited confines of self inflicted monotony and a banal existence of wasted potential because it’s easier to put others down than pull yourself up.

And I’m sorry if this seems harsh, but your invitation to “spare the world” my “bullshit” and “just kill myself already” has left me feeling somewhat strained in the area I usually reserve for patience and pleasantries.

To put it bluntly, I ain’t got time to spoon feed your ableist piece of shit ass on how to be a decent human being anymore. You’re on your own. As I suspect you always will be.


Last night's episode of The Good Doctor is proof that even super “loving” parents of autistic people can royally bork it up just as bad as abusive ones.

I figured out why Shaun was saying “I don’t like him” about Liam as soon as I saw Liam’s parents being all loving and sweet. But then I remembered those loving parents were shoving herbal treatments and special diets on him, probably trying to “fix” him, and I was mad at them for most of the episode. 

I wonder how many autistic kids out there right now have severe digestive problems BECAUSE of these bullshit diets. Okay, if gluten is the issue, avoid gluten! Don’t throw a bunch of different things at them and then assume it’s autism when their behavior tanks! Foods have minerals. Multivitamins and herbal “remedies” have minerals. It’s like taking Motrin, Advil and Ibuprofen and wondering why you have ulcers…uhhhh because you’re overdosing on Ibuprofen?! Motrin and Advil have Ibuprofen in them!!

So your kid, who is on all these diets and supplements, is probably in pain because of all the shit you’re feeding them overloading them with minerals and chemicals. Too much of any chemical is bad for the body, period.

Moving on…

The dad finally decided to ask Liam what he wanted for once…and HOW old was Liam before his dad finally decided to respect his autonomy?

Also, to all neurotypicals who think the parents saying they didn’t want Shaun performing the surgery was over the top? HAHAHA shut up, that is exactly what autistic people have to put up with EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. WE. EXIST. because of you neurotypicals.


That’s exactly how you treat us without even knowing it.

22 Steps is the episode that shows why it is so important to listen to autistic voices .

I’m glad to see Neil come around.

I cried my ass off when Shaun made that incision while remembering his little plastic knife.

This is a casual reminder that Shaun is an abuse survivor and his trauma is not lesser just because it doesn’t manifest in a typical way, because he is not neurotypical.

Take notes, neurotypicals. 


Quick edit: Anyone can reblog this whether autistic or not. In fact, reblog it, spam it around. Get it seen. This is real life for autistic people portrayed on TV in the realest way I’ve ever seen. 

*poofs away*

‘normal people agree with me’

an ask I got just reminded me of this story.

‘ask any normal person and they’ll agree with me,’ is a claim often made by antis when arguing that your bad ships are bad or your kinky fic is dangerous. and as it happens: I did have occasion to talk to ‘normal people’ about anti-shippers and get their opinion. as this is an anecdote it doesn’t actually prove anything, but as someone who has a fair amount of contact with non-fannish people on a daily basis I can say their reaction wasn’t exactly a surprise.

after the third doxxing of a she1th fan in the vld fandom (late last year, if I remember correctly), I finally became concerned enough that I decided to pre-empt any attempts on my employment by talking to my boss about the remote possibility that some strangers on the internet might contact our company and accuse me of being a pedophile.* in places that aren’t fandom, being accused of pedophilia is still very serious business - not the sort of thing one does lightly. this made me rather apprehensive about bringing the subject up in the first place, but I thought it couldn’t be avoided. 

I asked for a meeting with my regional manager and my immediate supervisor, who are both very much not nerdy or fannish, and had (more or less) the following conversation:

me: so I’m a fan of this cartoon called V0ltron

me: which is a kids show about a giant robot piloted by 5 humans, defending the universe from the evil alien emperor zark0n.

manager, supervisor: *laugh (as I intended)*

me: it got rebooted this year and there’s an active community of fans of the reboot online. i’m part of that community. and there’s a lot of people who are focused on romance, like which characters are kissing other characters

manager, supervisor: *amused looks* *expressions that clearly say ‘okay you weirdo, go on i guess’*

me: but because the two characters I like to imagine in a relationship is a guy who might be in his early to mid twenties and a guy probably in his late teens, there are some people who would say that i’m a pedophile

manager, supervisor: *both burst out laughing and don’t stop for a bit*

manager: what? are you serious?

supervisor: are they st*pid? you said this was a cartoon, right?

me: yeah

manager: that’s the most ridiculous thing i’ve ever heard in my life. so why are you telling us this?

me: because some of the people who would think this are also doxxing people and contacting their jobs to tell them they’re employing a pedophile.

manager: … wow, that’s fucked up.

supervisor: who gets this worked up about a cartoon?

supervisor: if someone contacts me to tell me that you’re a pedophile, I’ll laugh in their face and report them to the police.

after this conversation I had to talk to the company lawyer so he could be made aware of how being a she1th fan in the vld fandom made me a potential PR disaster. he gave me some legal advice on how to avoid getting doxxed and concluded with ‘if anything happens, we’ve got your back.’

in conclusion: 

  • no ‘normal people’ don’t always agree with antis about what counts as ‘pedophilia’
  • in fact, in my experience ‘normal people’ are mostly too busy pulling a mental ‘who cares brenda’ about the fact we’re all arguing about cartoon characters to even give a shit about the character ages. they think we’re all collectively ridiculous and/or obsessive
  • ‘normal people’ are way more bothered by doxxing than they are shipping choices
  • if an anti ever says ‘i asked normal people and they agreed with me’, take it with a grain of salt. because i can almost guarantee you they got the desired answer by how they asked the question.**
  • also the laugh I got out of this with my coworkers was really cathartic. if you ever need a reality check, talk to normal people about fandom drama. they’ll have your back.

*’pedophile’ being incorrectly treated as synonymous with ‘csa offender’, of course.

**framing is everything. ‘is it okay for a teen and an adult to have a relationship?’ is a very different question from ‘is it okay for people to imagine or write or draw about a fictional teen and adult in a relationship?’ but being precise isn’t a strong point for people who see everything in black and white.

a quick and friendly halloween reminder from your local cripple
  • faking a limp so you can use a cane is fun until you run into an actual disabled person, and then you just look like the dick you really are 
  • never assume that someone using a mobility aid is just using it as a part of their costume; if you take it from them or otherwise mess with it, you’re a genuinely horrible person 
  • disabled people will dress up, mobility aids and all, and them having a costume on doesn’t mean it’s not still rude to stare
  • haunted houses disguised as insane asylums are a bullshit, ableist concept that exists for abled entertainment only and are fundamentally disgusting 
  • if you set foot in a building that was an actual asylum at some point, you’re actually walking into the place where people were imprisoned, beaten, starved, raped, tortured, and killed, so feel free to remember that it costs a grand total of 0 dollars to show some respect 
  • equating mental illness with violence literally gets disabled people killed
  • real people live with severe scarring. sure, your friend is really good at special effects makeup and that’s just grand, but there is no valid reason that scars are scarier than a plain face. they’re no indication of violent tendencies, and equating them with such and designating them as “scary” perpetuates a toxic myth that impacts real people 
  • disabled people are not costumes. we’re not scary, we’re not dangerous, and we’re not a game 
  • please god someone save me from this hell have fun i guess

if any other (DISABLED) people want to add points, feel free! 

calling out yanderechild (aka Stefi)

it’s come to my attention that yanderechild, Stefi, is really problematic. She is a popular tokyo ghoul artist and blogger, with a large following. i’ve discussed the matter with some other friends (whom of which preferred to remain anonymous) and i’ve decided to make this call out.

i was inspired by the courage of those who made the suzuyajesus callout, and i wanted to do one as well.

Keep reading

Allistics: We’ll teach them to behave like ‘normal people’ by traumatising them into developing anxiety and then shame them for being so anxious all the time!

Allistics: Why is there such a huge percentage of autistic people with anxiety???? I guess we’ll never know…Maybe its just another autism symptom…yeah.

anonymous asked:

A while back you were doing individual reviews of animorph books and I was searching through the tag and I can't believe no one asked for 53,so please I know it was years ago and ur probs busy but I'm dying to know

Short opinion: I LOOOOOVE the “several independent teams come together to fight a common enemy in the final boss battle” tope—and I love even more how much K.A. Applegate subverts that trope in this book.

Long opinion:

I do really REALLY like #53, which I think actually manages to be a final battle worthy of the entire Animorphs series despite all expectations that such a thing would even be possible.  However, I also think I need to say before I get any further into this review: this book is also Really Freaking Problematic.  Specifically, it’s Problematic As Hell that 30-odd disabled characters, most of them from unstable situations, get killed off (offscreen, no less) to manipulate the emotions of an able-bodied cis het upper-class white boy.  It just is.  I love this book despite its problematic elements; I also don’t ask anyone else to like this book or to overlook those problematic elements just because it’s also well-written.  (Given my feelings on #40, it’d be pretty damn hypocritical of me to do so.)

Anywhoo, as for everything else in #53: I freaking love it.  A+ to K.A. Applegate for making us genuinely feel bad for Tom in this book… and for making us hate that yeerk’s guts to the point where we’re rooting for Rachel to kill it dead, no matter how many innocent hosts might have to die as well.  Jake’s heartbreak over the loss of his family, and his simultaneous inability to deal with that heartbreak, are writ large throughout this book.  He’s already lost everything, he’s a liiiiitttle off the rails, and he’s constantly combating the urge to take the easy way that Tom’s yeerk offers through simply swapping victory on Earth for his family back.  We also get a fair amount of both Jake and Rachel expressing empathy for Tom, even though in earlier books we see them both trying to distance themselves from him—presumably once the decision to kill him is made, they both recognize that there’s no point in continuing to try to lie to themselves just in case they maybe-someday have to kill him.

That’s the first half of the book.  The second half of this book has Tom’s yeerk torturing “Cassie” (actually Erek in disguise) for no other reason than the fact that it so clearly views Cassie as being Jake’s property and wants to pee on something Jake loves.  It has the yeerk simultaneously infantilizing Jake and being willing to throw away all its alleged ideals about morphing for a chance at revenge on Jake.  It features a conflict where the Animorphs realize that if they let the morph-capable controllers get away they’ll essentially be sacrificing a different planet to save their own.  And by the end of it we hate that yeerk’s guts almost more than we hate the guts of Visser Three, whose surrender is a (very deliberate, IMHO) anticlimax.  

Anyway, how cool is it that we get humans AND hork-bajir AND taxxons AND chee AND andalites AND freaking yeerks AND whatever the hell the Animorphs are by this point all teaming up to protect the planet they all claim as their own?  I am an utter sucker for this kind of battle, as I mentioned, because it really captures the feeling that the entire series up to this moment has been building up to this moment.  Ultimately the taxxons are powerless against the Yeerk Empire, the ordinary humans throw their best shot at fighting alone against the Bug fighters in the first scene and get annihilated, the hork-bajir can’t organize enough to take on the yeerks alone, the andalites don’t want to get their hands dirty enough to fight on Earth, and the rebel yeerks can’t overcome mainstream leadership, but together… together… It also gives us the sense that this is the culmination of the Animorphs’ hard work over the last three years of pain and struggle.  If Tobias had told the Ellimist that the hork-bajir weren’t his problem, if Jake chose not to trust Arbron, if Marco wasn’t connected to the chee, then they would lose this battle. It’s as simple as that.

However, this is also not The Battle of Five Armies.  It’s not the fight against Glory in “The Gift,” or against the Fire Nation during the eclipse.  It’s not a romanticized band of brothers coming together and forgetting all old conflicts in pursuit of a higher goal.  Russia and the U.S. go right back to hating each other’s guts the instant Nazi Germany is no longer a threat, and it took Jake threatening to kill Chapman in order to get the Irish and Australians fighting at all.  (Okay that metaphor got weird, but the point stands.)  My favorite part of this everything-and-the-kitchen-sink-besides battle is that it’s also, in its own way, a choice of the lesser evil.  Jake has to give up on a lot of his ideals to win this game of cosmic speed chess.  He does win, of course, and does so with staggering aplomb, but at the end of it he’s got “Tom and Rachel and those seventeen thousand yeerks around his neck like the Ancient Mariner and his albatross” (#54).  

Part of what’s so cool about the complexity of this plan is the simplicity of its execution.  Sure, there are up to seven independent forces all fighting each other during the wackiest parts of this whole dog-and-pony show, but the focus is always tightly on Jake and his friends and their very private concerns: Can they all stay alive?  Can they keep their families safe?  Are they doing the right thing?  Where is Rachel, anyway?  Exactly how far are they willing to go to protect their species? 

The whole ‘pee your pants’ thing is just such a microcosm of the exclusionist ‘side’, isn’t it?

Someone said, “We’re openly suicide-baiting too much, it makes us look bad. How can we fix this problem?”

And then, instead of actually addressing the behavior itself – instead of taking a long, hard look at themselves and asking why so many people on their side are doing something so obviously unacceptable, or even just disavowing the behavior going forward, the solution that side came up with was to latch onto a crummy meme and use that as a very, very slightly coded way of continuing to suicide-bait.

So, there’s the first way in which this phrase illustrates the problems their side has as a whole: seeing an actual, clear problem and then refusing to address it in any meaningful way. Just slap a thin veneer over that problem and call it done. (See: “it’s always been lgbt– I mean, lgbtpn”, “the S in SGA can also stand for ‘similar’ gender”, etc.)

Next, there’s the question of what they were planning to do, should anyone ever call them out on this thin veneer of acceptable discourse. My bet? Lie, feign innocence, and accuse the inclusionist of “reading too much into things”, which is itself one step removed from accusing us of imagining things, which is itself one step removed from… etc. Another of their favorite tactics: accusing opponents of hysteria, paranoia, and lies. (Mostly this last is aimed at ace rape victims. Because exclusionists are a classy group of people.)

(ETA: I feel so privileged to have been proven absolutely right, as there are now a small group of exclusionists on this very post, complaining that it “reads too much into” their cute phrase. The number of them that have so far expressed dismay at the ableism, now that it has been pointed out, hovers at “zero”, but there’s still time.)

Then there’s the fact that this particular veneer is itself wildly ableist. Like, obviously so, to the point where I am actually having a difficult time imagining a conversation between a bunch of people theoretically well-versed in social justice concepts where nobody thought to mention that, even taken at face value, their substitute retort was terrible.

It is, however, somewhat less surprising when you remember that all of this ultimately stems from tumblr radfems, who have always been exceptionally bad at intersectionality. I mean, oppression that doesn’t really affect them personally can’t possibly matter that much, right? (See: blatantly mocking community acronyms from outside the USA; loudly insisting that community spaces with no oppressors in them even exist, much less must be protected; so on and so forth…)

And finally, it just… is plain difficult to take seriously. Seeing it in the notes on posts, you are consumed by second-hand embarrassment. (See: ‘FERTs’, ‘RATs’, but also their propensity for dismissing long thoughtful posts with the hottest new REG remix of ‘cool story bro’.)

So I found a good way to shut off people who think that I can’t be autistic because they can’t see my struggles in social situations:

I explain them that social struggles are a lot about perspective.

I, for example, struggle a lot with timing in conversations. I often interrupt people or miss my time to speak so others will either think I’m rude or dumb. However, people who don’t have an issue with others who interrupt them don’t realize that I’m struggling with it because they simply don’t care about it.

I also struggle with controlling the volume of my voice. People who are very sound sensible will realize while others who aren’t won’t.

Same goes for eye contact. People who think it’s essential will comment on it 24/7 And those who know that you’re listening with your ears and not your eyes (I’m a salty bish when it comes to eye contact) won’t.

So basically I try to give them insight in the confusing mess that societal expectations are to autistic people and how, even though we’re all socialized in the same society, we still hold differing social values and expectations towards the people we interact with because each of us still subconsciously decides which norms they deem important and which they don’t.