Isolation in BPD
They chose to see their other friend over me, they clearly hate me and don’t want to be around me, it’s all just an act.
But that’s fine. I hate them now too.
These are the words that buzz in my mind whenever something as minor as seeing a picture of my favourite friend with their other friend happens. It sounds crazy, but it sends me and others into isolation because even the faintest hint at abandonment or replacement, real or imagined is simply too much to bear. My relationship with folk could change in an instant, depending on what they do. Communication is always a double edged sword for me.
I have a lonely and needy desire to interact with people on a personal level, but an overwhelming voice of doubt in my head is always there to remind me of what could happen.
What if they do this? Or say that?
What if they are just pretending to be nice?
And that is how we isolate ourselves. We push genuine people away because we’re so terrified of being left or replaced. We don’t mean to do this. And it’s much worse if we have commonly experienced the actual result of being abandoned. It reinforces the belief that we are stuck with, and makes it even harder to create/maintain personal relationships.