“The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings”
BEFORE - AFTER
So I did it . After four very long years
I am finally discharged from all eating disorder services . Words cannot express how I will be forever grateful to not only the Leicestershire services but to Hampshire service too . Back when I was first diagnosed I thought that was it , that my life was over especially being re admitted into hospital and leaving uni. I didn’t have a life all that I consist of was constantly intensely fearing weight gain just barely surviving. I was a mess. And didn’t think I could ever get well enough again.
There are not enough words in the world to say how thankful and lucky for every single member of staff who helped me along the journey from therapists to nurses to hca those were the people who got me through every mouthful of food to every morning weigh ins. There were countless times when giving up just seemed so much easier but it was with the support from everyone who helped me through it and who believed in me when I couldn’t believe in myself I am where I am today because of them. I was proabbly months away from death , anorexia nearly killed me and they saved my life even though at the time I rebelled as much as I could but I’m glad that they were there to sort my sassy attitude out. You are the ones who have inspired me into even considering going back to uni and have inspired me to pick the course I want to pursue .
Looking back to the person I was i can’t believe that was even me. From nearly getting tube fed and constant threats of getting sectioned my mind can’t get around the fact that that was who I was.Now I’m able to think,be creative , And actually laugh at jokes where as before I had to force out a smile . I could barley walk for ten minutes without wanting to collapse . All these memories still haunt me to this day but that’s it , that’s what they are ,just memories, I’m now making new ones , happier ones to replace them.
I can honestly say for the first time in my life I’m proud of the person I am today and everything I’ve achieved and will achieve in the future . Ive proven to myself that I can do anything I want and that I am worth fighting for. I honestly don’t know what the furure holds and if anorexia will ever be apart of my life again but I do know that I can beat anything that I put my mind to .
I can’t thank enough my family who I put through hell and back and who stood by me even through the times I had screaming matches with them . Also thank you Beth , not only are you my twin but who has been my main inspiration through my recovery and will always be , I remember when all I wanted to be was you and you came for hospital visits even though you were in your final year of uni you’ll never know how much your inspire me , you are a reminder of what I want.
I’ve met so many people who really are friends for life and I’m so proud aswell on how far they’ve came . Who knew you could meet such good friends through horrible circumstances. And that’s why I always say I never regret getting ill without it I wouldn’t have known such amazing people . Once you get ill with anorexia I believe you never really get back to the person you once was before the illness but that said you become someone stronger and know yourself a bit more .
For the people struggling still, you’re never too far gone to recover even if it takes you 2,3 or even 10 years it gets better . I’ll always hold the hope for the people who can’t do it for themselves like others did for me .
Here’s to a brighter future ⭐️⭐️Here’s to the new chapter in life .