You deserve to be insanely happy. You deserve to feel appreciated. You deserve to feel important to people that are important to you. You deserve to believe in yourself. Your dreams aren’t ridiculous. Your goals aren’t stupid and naive. You deserve to feel inner peace. You deserve to have clarity. You deserve to feel grounded. You deserve to feel safe. You deserve to feel loved and supported - especially by yourself.
I just realized that no matter how hard you’ve been trying to keep a relationship or even friendship because you thought you could never live without them, it really is not worth it when this person caused you so much pain and the relationship was mostly one-sided and toxic. It’s very important to remind yourself that although you spent a lot of time with them, also had good memories and laughed a lot together, if there’s no or maybe bad communication, lack of trust and no understanding, then it is in fact NOT worth fighting for, believe me. So please love yourself and don’t feel guilty for leaving. You’re not being egoistic, it’s called self-love and your mental health matters
I usually make a point to avoid getting into this kind of drama.
That stops now.
If you’ve been following the kind of people I follow, or if you’re part of new fandoms that experience a sudden explosion in popularity and number of fans -
Undertale. Steven Universe. RWBY. Fire Emblem. Overwatch. Disney. Gravity Falls. Star Wars. Marvel. Etc -, you will have seen something like this.
Every time, without exception, there’s a small group of people who think they are entitled to say what is right and what is wrong. Who erect themselves as judge and jury of what is GOOD and what is PUNISHABLE. And now, they may well have erected themselves into executioners.
There was a tumblr user by the name of tyrant-rex. Emphasis on WAS. If you go to his blog you’ll notice it’s deactivated. That’s because he did it, right after leaving a suicide note.
Rex shipped Pewey. That is Pearl/Mayor Dewey, both characters from Steven Universe. Pearl is a canonical lesbian character. Mayor Dewey is a guy. And that, it seems, was all the reason this toxic part of the fandom needed to want him dead. They showered him in hate and this is the result. Rex may well be DEAD because some people decided a fictional ship was worth more than a human life.
And the most sickening part? They’re not sorry. They revel in the pain they’ve caused. They try to justify it.
“But Pearl is a canonicaly lesbian!” Doesn’t justify killing a person over it.
“But it was lesbian erasure!” No it’s not, just as shipping two heterosexual characters in a gay relationship isn’t heterosexual erasure. And even if it were, it would still not justify killing a person over it.
“But seeing that ship hurts me!” If a non-canon drawing of a fictional ship is enough to cause you pain you should go to therapy because you are obviously not well off on the head. Oh, and it STILL DOES NOT JUSTIFY KILLING SOMEBODY OVER IT.
I mean, really, did these people even think about what they were doing? What they are celebrating? If he’s dead, that’s a whole person gone from the earth. Did he have friends? Family? Loved ones? Hopes and dreams? And now those people will never see him again. His goals will never come to be. And why? Because of a ship? Because people on the internet couldn’t stand others loving things they didn’t like? Can you think of any subject more STUPID to hate somebody? To drive somebody to death?
This is not the first time the SU fandom drove someone to the edge of suicide. And I tell you right now, it’s not going to be the last. This is gonna keep happening. And you might be reading this and thinking I’m overreacting. I wish I was. I wish I had no reason to make this post. But Rex, and those who came before, are the horrible proof that no, I am not exaggerating.
And just like they came for him, they will come for you. Because you drew Connie’s nose too small, or her skin too light. Because you drew Pearl with boobs, or Mei and Rose skinny. Because you made Frisk’s eyes too asian, or Hanzo’s eyes not asian enough. Because your humanization of Nick Wilde and Judy Hopps is not the color THEY want it to be. Because you dared to ship the “wrong” ship. Because your opinion is something they don’t like.
I honestly don’t know how to close this, so I’ll just say, if anybody’s shitting on you or trying to get you to hurt yourself, block them. Your mental health and your life matter so much more than all the fictional characters in the world.
It would mean the world to me if you could support my Etsy shop. Even just taking a look or favouriting my shop means so much. I’m trying to earn a little bit of money for university, plus having a project to work on is good for me!
I sell my handmade watercolour bookmarks and I’ve recently added some mental health themed badges, ideal for if you need a small gift for someone or just want to treat yourself! ✨
Thank you to those of you who choose to support me. 💖
Its getting to be finals time, and you are gonna get stressed. Just remember to break up everything into smaller steps and take extra good care of yourself because you’ll be less stressed and more productive. Your mental health matters, and you can get through this. just keep going
And perhaps I’m a little touchy on the subject and maybe I hold Carrie a little too dear to my heart, but the reason I do is because Carrie Fisher helped me realize I was mentally ill.
Oh I knew I was crazy, in the same vague way you worry that you’ve left the stove on at home, despite not having cooked yourself a meal in weeks because you’re too depressed to eat a proper meal. (Except you don’t call it that, you call it “laziness” and maybe try and convince yourself it’s a new diet called “whatever requires the least amount of effort to put calories into my face”.)
Something was “off” inside my head, but no one seemed to care about it too much. Even when they threw me into eating rehab for a perceived eating disorder—despite lacking several of the vital criteria on the checklist to have typical eating disordered behavior—no one gave too much of a shit. I was just a girl who was “too nervous”, “too in touch with my emotions”, “too fragile”, I was “attention seeking”. And their remedy to this was ignore me and wonder why I crashed and burned at regular intervals, blame me for being selfish, then go back to not giving a fuck until it inconvenienced their life again.
I was crazy. But maybe I wasn’t. Maybe if I just tried harder…so I learned to cope. I became the one who Coped. I was There For Everyone. I became Reliable and above all else, I learned to be Funny and make It funny.
My mother still hates that. She thinks it’s crass for women to be funny. Personally I think I’m fucking hysterical, but then what do I know, I’m fucking nuts.
Later, now with hindsight and being able to look at my life from a safe(-r) mindset surrounded by people who care and want to help, I realize that what I was going through was (and is) untreated PTSD. Whether or not the PTSD caused the other issues, like the depression, the anxiety, the compulsive behaviors or the ADHD I think I might have, I don’t know. I likely will never know, because the Thing happened and shot my still developing child brain into a million tiny fragmented pieces of unparalleled terror and poor coping mechanisms. It doesn’t really matter at this point, all that matters is dealing with all of it as best as I can, however I can. But there’s a very real chance I might never have gotten to this stage if I hadn’t found out that Princess Leia, my childhood icon who helped me feel brave and strong while my world was ending, had written a book about living with mental health issues.
I wasn’t sure what to expect from it to be honest. I knew vaguely, that Carrie Fisher had issues. The word “junkie” had been used by my father—while unironically taking a drink from his self-medicating poison of choice and my mother tutted and tisked about how some people just ought to pull themselves together.
Ten, maybe twelve minutes into the book locked away in my room, I can’t even tell you anymore whether I was crying because I was laughing so hard or if I was laughing because I was crying my heart out, but I was having a fucking revelation.
This was me, holy shit this was me, this was me, this was me, an unboken mantra in my head pounding to the beat of my heart, this was me, this is me—I do exist.
That’s a weird thought to have, right? I do exist.
It wasn’t, “I’m normal”, because normal is not this. It’s not feeling like your mind is running a million miles a second in circles while simultaneously wading uphill through treacle and juggling chainsaws while trying to keep all your Life Plates spinning and oh gods someone just handed you a kitten to look after. What it is however, is fairly common, and suffered with varying degrees of severity by a rather sizable chunk of the world’s population. I mean, who knew? I sure as shit didn’t. I thought it was all in my head.
You know what I mean.
I’m told some people get up in the mornings and go through their entire day without once having an intrusive thought or struggling to do basic shit like take a shower and manage to remember to feed themselves. I know, seems fake right? It certainly does to me.
And here was Carrie, my Princess Leia, laying out her issues past, present and probable future, in what remains one of the funniest, most brutal attempts at self-lobotomy on paper I have ever had the privilege to read. I consumed that book in mere hours, I devoured her words and breathed them in like inhaling steam in a sauna and breathing out fire in their wake and moved onto her next book, then her next, then her next, and by then there was this blessed thing called Twitter and it should be impossible to be hilarious and poignant through 140 emojis or less, but that was the kind of brilliant she was. And this was me, this was someone like me. And she was witty and brilliant and funny and yes, things were difficult for her and yes, some parts of her life were an absolute clusterfuck of mistakes, addiction and general all round fuckery leading up to that point…but she was still there, y’know? She was still there.
And it breaks my heart a little every day, knowing that I’ll never be able to tell her how important that was to me. And to thank her for it.
So instead I try to pay it forward. Every day, from one day to the next, I try to be a little kinder, a little brighter—a little more like Our Lady Carrie—and throw two loving sparkly middle fingers up at the world that tries to stamp out and demonize the notion that mentally ill people like me, like you, exist.
And we deserve to exist, and more than that, we deserve to be treated with human fucking decency.
And if you are of a mind that the latest news surrounding Carrie’s death means that she was any lesser of a vital energy force in this world, that she mattered less, that her words were less important or that she “deserved” to die because they found drugs in her autopsy report, it is with my profound and heartfelt best wishes, that I invite you to cordially:
sending love to anyone feeling shitty right now because of their mental illness or going through grief or rough times💜and love to everyone receiving treatment that leaves them feeling worse or that costs incredible amounts of money so that they have to go without other important things or that is just really fucking hard and leaves you feeling emotionally drained and trapped❤️and love to those who can’t receive appropriate treatment because of insurance limitations or insufficient finances or restrictive diagnostic criteria or just plain ignorant health professionals💚treatment is worth it despite how hard it can be. treatment is worth the sacrifice of time and money because at the end of the day your health is the the number one sacrifice you can’t afford to give up. treatment is worth fighting for. you are worth fighting for. you deserve help and you deserve peace and you deserve to have your struggle validated. i love you all💕
extracurriculars can take up so much time and it can be hard to find time to start and finish assignments, projects, and study for tests and exams. here are some tips to help you pull through it!
get some sleep
go to sleep early or take a nap. do whatever you need. without sleep, you’ll only feel more miserable and tired and irritable. you’re more likely to do poorly during practices and classes. don’t force yourself to pull an all-nighter. instead, go to sleep early and wake up early to finish up the last bits of work left to do.
write it down
if you get an assignment or find out a deadline, write it down. don’t tell yourself that you’ll remember it because you won’t.
schedule your time
a planner or a bullet journal or a calendar app are the most common ways that people keep track of the things that they need to do. jot down the events that you need to be at + the starting and ending times. schedule study time like an event too. school is important too!!
find spare time and use it
use spare time during lunch period to get that last question done on a math assignment. use the downtimes at meets to start the first paragraph of that essay you need to turn in. finish up language homework during transportation time. use worktime in class to get a head start on things. you actually have a lot of time if you add up all the spare bits.
do what works for you
use study methods that fit you. you don’t have to force yourself to write notes if you find that it doesn’t help you. if reviewing flashcards helps you more than writing mind maps, then do that instead. don’t get caught up with thoughts of what you “have” to do based on the overwhelming aesthetics and popular methods commonly displayed in the studyblr community.
get an early start on things
start homework as soon as you get it. begin projects on the first day and not before the deadline. since you’ll be busy most of the time, it’s better to get a head start on things and have a few extra days and bits of time to spare for those emergency club meetings and matches that drain your time.
your body needs to be in top condition in order to do all of those sports and keep up with those clubs and stay on track in school! drink plenty of water, eat balanced meals, and have healthy snacks and breaks when you need them.
weekends are your best friend
even if you have games and matches and events during weekends, you can still wake up early and find time in the morning. you can also find time in the evenings too! you have a lot more time on weekends. remember to use some of that time to also relax and wind down too! don’t make up flimsy excuses if you know that they’re not true. you can’t help it if you’re tired, but don’t pretend like you’re tired and push off those essays until another day.
talk with your teachers
if it gets really bad, try to talk with your teachers, advisors, and coaches to see if you can work something out. school is still important and balance is key. i’m sure that you can work something out.
drop something if you have to
in the end, your own physical and mental health is what matters the most. please take a day off if you have to, and if you can’t handle it anymore, then you need to acknowledge that and drop something (not school).
you can pull through it!!! it might seem overwhelming, but you can get used to it. however, remember that you are only human. don’t disregard your own health and education. don’t stress yourself out too much! if it is too much for you, talk to a teacher or advisor immediately.
hope this helped and good luck! if you’d like to request a post, go here and if you’d like to see more helpful posts, go here!! thanks :)