• My relatives: so, what career do you plan on pursuing?
  • Me, a borderline with career plans that change drastically quite often, due to an unstable sense of self: *sweats nervously* uhhh

“Are we going to die?” Hana asked.

D.Va shrugged. “Who knows.”

“I don’t want to die.”

Hana hated the woebegone smile that broke through D.Va’s smirk, and hated the way the facade’s brightness flickered for a moment, as if it would disappear entirely.

“That makes one of us.”

A work inspired by an incredible D.VA fic called The Young Never Sleep.


Letchworth Village was a psychiatric hospital located in Rockland County, New York. It housed patients ranging from newborn to elderly. It opened in 1911 and was rife with reports of unfair treatment of the patients ranging from patients being unclothed and neglected to reports of rape. In 1996, the psychiatric hospital was closed down and has since fallen to disrepair. To add insult to injury, there are a number of numbered gravestones hidden among the woodland. These unnamed gravestones belong to those who never made it out of Letchworth. After a number of years, a bronze monument was erected at the entrance of the cemetery which lists around 900 names. However, these names are not linked to the plots in which patients were buried but they are believed to be buried in the cemetery somewhere. Some of these people are identified simply as “Baby Girl” or “Baby Boy.”

Dissociation is a waiting game

I feed myself the bare minimum

I talk to people at a bare minimum

I shop for the bare minimum

I go out and do what I have to in a day to the bare minimum

I complete class and do work to the bare minimum

I don’t treat myself or waste money on enjoying the now


Right now I'm only living for when I wake up 

Ptolemaic Aspects

The aspects symbolize the relationship between the planets. Aspect comes from the Latin world ‘aspectare’ which is ‘too look at’. In the same way, the chart aspects indicate the way the planets are ‘looking’ at one another. The blue lines on the horoscope and represent ‘outlets’ or release valves for the signs while the red lines present tension and back-flow. The aspects keep the planets talking to each other and communicating, the planet and sign in question will take on the qualities of planets it makes aspects with. Red lines of tension can deplete resources and vital forces, while blue lines generate flowing cohesion. So for example Moon in the fourth as a singleton (making no aspects) can represent a close relationship of comfort and security with the mother as god through the eyes of the child. But if this fourth house Moon makes aspects to Uranus, the mother could have disappeared for long periods, or maybe there are aspects to Neptune which indicate that the mother was a martyr who suffered mental disturbance. These forces work together to paint a clearer picture of the expression, and planets in aspect will bring out what the planets have in common. The aspects are like playing the grand cosmic piano. The planets are the keys, the signs are the tones and the aspects joining each create the spectacular astrological orchestra. 

Conjunction (0 degrees orb: 10 degrees) : A conjunction is like two best friends who do everything together. They have similar interests and both like directing their talents into the same focal point. This is like having two or more planets in the same sign and often the same house, like having both Moon and Mars together in Leo in the 4th house. Together they make a perfect team with a generous and fluid flow of qualities. We tend to have a natural flow of talents from conjunct signs and identify closely with the focus, especially if conjunctions are made to the Sun, Moon, or ascending sign.

An orb that is too far apart to be a powerful conjunct (wider than 15 degrees) you could interpret this as being like two people who live in a duplex… they are in the same building, they are aware of eachother’s presence, but they do not have too much of an impact on one another… there will be a somewhat acceleration of energies but nothing like the sublime fluidity of talents when there is a tight conjunction

Sextile (60 degrees orb: 4 degrees)

A sextile is like two people who have just gotten married, they are exploring each other and their new territory together. With sextiles, the ego is good at inventing creative ways to resolve predicaments. Liz Greene suggests planets that make sextile aspects represent potential talents and gifts which need attention and work. It could be like this newly married couple learning how to work as a team and unlock the unique energy blend that they both share. A Sun in Virgo makes a sextile to Pluto in Scorpio.

Square (90 degrees orb: 8 degrees)

A square is like two contrasting people applying for the same once in a lifetime job - and there is only one going! It’s like a wrestle, a tense tussle. Often one planet will dominate the square, and this tends to be the more powerful one. Squares usually make aspect patterns and tie the planet to three or four others. Uranus in Aries and Pluto in Capricorn make a square aspect. Forces must be reconciled with squaring planets. It isn’t like an opposition where we switch positions of consciousness. With the square, certain qualities are inaccessible while the dueling expression can be frenetic and uncontrollable. Squares, without cohesion can indicate two or more planets that can’t control their arguing and distract the rest of the vital forces. This is an inner battle, think of the term ‘squaring’ off with someone, but it is you!

Trine (120 degrees - orb: 6 degrees)

A trine is an aspect of facilitation. It is like two close relatives, an auntie and a niece, who get along well and help each other reach their potential. They share a lot of similarities and naturally feel at ease together. There is a favorable fusion of qualities and an ease of collaboration, they just seem to ‘flow’ from the person. Traits and talents expressed by the trine aspect can become like second nature, emanated from the individual without a second thought. Trines can represent certain features of our personalities and talents we take for granted. A lot of activity and healing can be facilitated with the trine aspect. Moon in Cancer aspecting Pluto in Scorpio makes a trine.

Opposition (180 degrees orb: 10 degrees) 

An opposition is an aspect of tension that can become a harmony if the inner work is done. An opposition is like a fraternal twin sister. She is very much like you but there is tension because you go about the same things in an opposite manner. You can be throttled back and forth switching positions of consciousness through an internal war. When you find a way to work together you make the most brilliant team. Sun in Gemini and Moon in Sagittarius make an opposition. I call opposition signs ‘sister signs’, because they represent the polarity and duality of one another, together they can unleash the greatest archetypal potential. Two becomes one as the shadow aspect of the psyche is cast into light.

Unaspected Planets: Planets can still be unaspected if they make wide generational orbs. Liz Greene in one of her excellent books, gives an extreme example of an unaspected planet in action. She refers to the unaspected planet as “an unconscious pocket in the psyche.” She says, “An unaspected planet is very raw and archaic. It has no social graces, but behaves as though it had just been let out of a very old prison.” And further on in the book, “Often there is a kind of blank space and the individual is sometimes very ignorant of that side of himself until it erupts.” Unaspected planets can represent treasure boxes of talent we have not unlocked yet.


Richard Trenton Chase showed signs of severe mental disturbance as a teenager and would often frighten his parents and sister with his bizarre behavior, which included ripping cats in half and eating his own excrement. When his father finally kicked him out of the house (apparently for biting the head off a kitten), Richard’s father found him an apartment and attempted to seek psychiatric help for him. Instead, Richard began killing animals and liquifying their organs in a blender; he believed drinking the horrid mixture would prevent Nazi’s from shrinking his heart. Perhaps unsurprisingly, this practise eventually landed Chase in hospital with septic poisoning; as well as drinking organ smoothies, he had also been injecting rabbit’s blood directly into his veins.

Irene/Eileen is absolutely out of her mind.

She is not sane. She is not well. She is mentally disturbed. She is completely engulfed in rage due to the fact that she lost her true human form. She was tortured, humiliated, and was assaulted both mentally and physically by the father of her child. In front of her stands a dragon slayer that will never have to face the same fate Eileen did, and that is completely “unfair” to her. 

And some of you are really wondering why she hasn’t massacred Erza or Wendy yet (when she is obviously physically capable of it.) SHE IS NOT IN HER RIGHT MIND. I REALLY DON’T THINK SHE IS MENTALLY CAPABLE OF REALIZING SHE COULD KILL BOTH OF THEM WITH A LITERAL SNAP OF HER FINGERS. 

Just needed to remind people that Eileen is batshit crazy and that’s why the story isn’t going where you thought it would be. 

The Utica Crib was named for the New York State Lunatic Asylum at Utica where it was heavily used in the 19th century to confine patients who refused to stay in their beds. Based on a French design, the structure was modified to incorporated slats and rungs that gave it an appearance similar to a child’s crib. While use of the Utica Crib was widely criticized and infamous among patients, some found it to have important therapeutic value. A patient who slept in the Utica crib for several days commented that he had rested better and found it useful for “all crazy fellows as I, whose spirit is willing, but whose flesh is weak.”

In an opposing view, Daniel Tuke, a noted British alienist (an early term for a psychology expert) writes that, “it inevitably suggests, when occupied, that you are looking at an animal in a cage. At the celebrated Utica Asylum… where a suicidal woman was preserved from harm by this wooden enclosure… Dr. Baker of the New York Retreat allowed himself to be shut up in one of these beds, but preferred not remaining there.”

Two Fandoms, Conflicting Elements.

To start this off, I’m talking specifically about the Y*ri On Ice fandom and the Killing Stalking fandom. Two things that have unfortunately met in some screwed up pow-wow. I’m guessing it’s because with Y*ri On Ice ending, the fandom has to fly south until a possible sequel is released, and like me, they’ve found their way to Killing Stalking. Mind you, Killing Stalking and Y*ri on Ice have NOTHING in common. You could say they both have m/m pairings, but that’s exactly where it becomes dense. Y*ri on Ice’s main canon m/m pairing, is a healthy, understanding, supportive relationship. Killing Stalker’s unfortunate choice of pairing, is an abusive, forced, toxic courtship between two mentally disturbed men. Now, I know some of the fandom justifies the right and does not romanticize abuse, but there are a hefty bunch who do, and that’s where I draw the line. I’m asking of you to please not cross-contaminate these pairings, especially by making AUs in which V*ctuuri is in the place of Killing Stalker characters. Keep these two apart, because I’d like to enjoy them as they are, as entirely different material.

Neptune in the 4th house - The Fractured Memory

“My home is in Heaven. I’m just traveling through this world.”  - Billy Graham

The umbilical cord remains attached to the individual from the mother into the channel of God. The mother is is the thread that connects Neptune in the fourth to the spirit and veil of infinity. To lay cradled in her arms is to feel embraced by heaven, it’s as if the mother is a redeeming force that is worshiped in the eyes of the child. Neptune is godly and curative, although she can also be deceptive and obscure. The mother may have spent long periods absent, been physically or emotionally weak, or suffered mental disturbance. She could have experienced a cult upbringing or felt frequently disappointed by early experiences. And Neptune can be idealistic and fraudulent, so the mother’s lesser qualities can be dissolved by the masquerade of idealization. The fourth house is the astrological symbol of home and heritage. The seduction of Neptune can turn home into a divine temple. It may be a palace of prayer, a sanctuary of escape, a holy haven of alone time with magic.

The inner world is a treasure map of God’s poetry, lucid vision, and angel voices with Neptune in the fourth. Indulging in the riches of her internal spirit is to reunite with her celestial spirit and find a sense of peace. Maybe she can easily fall into the trance of meditation. It can be difficult for her to settle in the physical plane, it’s like you can see the lost child in her eyes, someone who feels abandoned by someone in someway, unequipped for the world, staring on from the outside looking in. She is at one with everything, wandering in search of some place or someone that can define her, fill her in, teach her what resides inside. The residual memories of childhood are replayed through the the individual’s emotional conditioning and responses. The subconscious is deeply attached to the upbringing, but the individual’s recollection of childhood may be vague, short on details, and filled with black spots. She may long for a deeper communion with the mother, as if she feels alone without a guide or model. In the quest for maternal devotion, she may look to television evangelists or follow different spiritual movements to provide her the sense of guardianship she craves. Or the mother may provide a tremendous well of creative genius and inspiration. Maybe she dabbled in mystic arts or displayed a great interest in esoteric subjects. These may be qualities the individual shares with the mother.

Home is where stars shriek, sing, and sparkle with Neptune in the fourth. It is amongst the indulgences of her creature comforts, cherished memories, and lagoon of luxury that she feels most marvelous, immortal, and blessed. The search for a physical home is fused with her quest for a spiritual home, and to locate both is to experience nirvana. This is coming to understand that her essence is that which connects all things, and her home is a place in the clouds, splintering into everything, flickering by the light of Neptune moons. Dane Rudyhar refers to the fourth house as the psychological tap root of the personality. Neptune’s analgesia may be too powerful to resist when she waits so close to consciousness in the fourth house. Maybe there are problems with escapism and social expectations that become expressed through drug problems, withdrawal, or experiencing reality through delusional perceptions. This could even stem back to the conditions around childhood where she may have felt unable to save one of her parent’s from their fall. Neptune is the purple candy that looks ultra sweet but turns to poison on the tongue. She may feel what she deems to be a real family will be the antidote to her pain. As the perfect family portrait will erase the memories and personal complexes. It’s possible for more heartache and disappointment to deride from this when loved ones naturally fail to reach her impossible ideals. The sense of self feels fragmented and splayed across every diamond in the horizon with Neptune in the fourth. Fears may erupt out of nowhere, and knowledge from the skies can be bought to life in the moment she shuts her eyes and rides the dreamboat inside. She is a walking temple of God, a wandering a pilgrimage from morning to evening, the white in her eyes is the bleach from heaven’s light, she is a form of deliverance.


The Signs as Llamas
  • Happy Llama: Sagittarius,Libra
  • Sad Llama: Virgo,Pisces, Capricorn
  • Mentally Disturbed Llama: Gemini,Aries
  • Super Llama: Aquarius,Taurus
  • Drama llama: Scorpio,Leo,Cancer
  • Big Fat Mama Llama: Ophiuchus

anonymous asked:

Why do you think mothers kill their own children (like Lacy Spears)? It's so horrible.

She’s a prime example of munchausen by proxy. She thrived on the attention a sick child brought her. The most often motivation behind parent killings is revenge on the other parent. Another common motivation is mental disturbance. A more rare motivation behind parent killings is sexual.

Clyde: Wow, you really got yourself into trouble with this haven’t you?
Craig: No, I wouldn’t say in trouble. It’s just a weird situation to find myself in all of a sudden. 
Clyde: So are you gonna like… stay? I would have to bail in that kind of situation. Living next door to a mentally disturbed ex-boyfriend who’s fiance both hates you, but also wants you to keep tabs on? I don’t wanna tell you what do but It’s… a little much. 
Craig: Yeah, yeah. It is a lot. I don’t know…
Clyde: You’re planning to stay, aren’t you?
Craig: Yeah. I mean… I get where you’re coming from, but Tweek and I kind of made up. And if he’s going through some shit, I’d kinda like to make up for all the times I wasn’t there before, you know?
Clyde: What kind of problems does Tweek even have? You never told me.
Craig: I think that’s up for him to tell the world about, not me. 
Clyde: Alright. I get that. Just keep in touch with me, okay? If you ever need anything, you know where I am.
Craig: As always.