Abusive parents don’t ALWAYS seem abusive. Sometimes they can be sweet.

You need to remember that just because they were sweet once they aren’t good people.

They still hurt you. They still did awful things, said awful things.

Your abuse is no less valid because your abuser can seem nice from time to time.

“They turned her into a weapon and then complained when she learned to defend herself.”

—unintended consequences

Your parents are not supposed to yell at you, mock you, ect. for crying, and they’re not supposed to FORCE you to tell them whats wrong if they aren’t the reason you’re crying.

Your parents are not supposed to tell you that you’re lying, overreacting, ect. if you bring up that you think you might have a mental illness / physical illness ect.

Your parents are not supposed to yell at you or tell you “I put a roof over your head” or “I feed you” or “oh well” or anything of the like if you bring up something that they do that upsets you

Your parents are not supposed to scream at you and punish you for making mistakes such as breaking dishes, not doing something right, ect. 

Your parents are not supposed to guilt you when you’re having a hard time by saying “I have it worse than you do” “you wont last 30 seconds out in the real world” ect.

Your parents are not supposed to yell at you to shut up for “talking back” when you were only trying to explain / defend yourself.


All of this is abuse. Parents are NEVER supposed to do these things. If you think your parents are abusing you or you think something is wrong, listen to yourself. Look into abuse. You are not overreacting. Your feelings are valid.
If you are being abused, I love you and always remember that you’ll be out of there soon.

Hey, guess what?

If you have a shitty father, you’re allowed to be angry about it.

If you have a shitty father, you don’t have to love them.

If you have a shitty father, you don’t have to feel bad or guilty about being angry and not loving them.

Your feelings are VALID.

They had no right to treat you like that.

Do something nice for yourself today; you earned it.

Just abused things

- Never being able to make a decision on your own and always needing the input of someone else, even if it was what you wanted anyway

- When someone raises their voice but then it’s Them again

- Forever wondering if it’s all really Your Fault

- Deciding it was definitely Your Fault

- Getting angry and knowing it was all their fault

- Rinse and repeat

- “I’m sorry I’m sorry I didn’t mean to”

“Why are you apologizing, it was clearly a mistake?”

- Am I real are you real is anything real

- Flinching at someone calling your name

- Flinching in general at anyone doing anything near you

- I have to escape I have to escape I have to es

- Having a panic attack over stuff that people don’t understand can cause a panic attack

- Feeling Not Valid because your trauma wasn’t visible to other people

You are allowed to say “No”, okay?

You are allowed and encouraged to say “This feels bad to me for [x] and [y] reason. I would like to do [z thing] instead if you are comfortable with it!”

I will never, ever, ever, punish you for saying “No” to me. I will never be angry at you for expressing your discomfort.

You never have to feel guilty for denying a request of mine. Whether it is “No, I would not like to share my headphone ear bud with you.” or “No, I do not want a hug from you right now.” or “I do not feel comfortable committing to this life decision.”

You do not owe me, or anyone, emotional or physical services. You do not have any obligation to do anything in return for anyone.

Everyone who matters will still love you even if you aren’t “convenient” for their use.