mental trap

Don’t expect mentally ill/disordered people to not display symptoms around you because they love you.
Don’t expect someone with BPD not to have fears you’ll abandon them because they love you.
Don’t expect someone with psychosis to stop being delusional around you because they love you.
Don’t expect someone with autism to stop stimming around you because they love you.
Don’t expect someone with ASPD to show you lots of empathy because they love you.

For most is us, our symptoms don’t disappear because we’re with someone we love- it doesn’t mean we don’t love you or that you’re not special- mental illness doesn’t care who we’re with.

I need to get out of my toxic home, I’m slowly going insane. Please if anyone is willing to help me then that would be awesome.

I know it’s dangerous to ask for help on the internet because there can be very dangerous people online. But I can’t help but plea and beg if there’s anyone out there trustworthy and caring….that can take me in and get me away from my toxic house hold, please help me.


I literally cannot do this anymore, my parents guilt trip me, they threaten to kick me out, they only take my health issues seriously when I tell them I need to go to the ER, I have impacted wisdom teeth that are infected and nothing is being done about it. 


I keep telling my parents I need to go and that I could die if they aren’t removed but they just won’t listen. It hurts badly when I move my jaw and the only thing that I can do is chew ice to numb it or eat ice cream and wash my mouth out with salt to fight the infection.


They took away my door, are trying to force me into the military, threaten to place me out in a tent at winter, threaten to take away my only connection to my friends, they take away anything and everything that bring joy to my life. 


Then they wonder why I am so miserable. They’ve even threatened to take everything out of my room and only leave me with a mattress. They even threatened to take my dog and give her to someone else because I’m obviously not responsible enough and too immature to handle a dog.


 Even though they know I have mental issues and sometimes my mental issues exhaust me to the point I don’t want to do anything and my parents yell at me despite that.


My parents verbally abuse me and it’s only making me more and more drained to the point I wish I won’t wake up in the morning. I just really needed kind and caring person to take me, my cat and my dog in.


I’ll probably never be able to live on my own and have to be dependent on someone to help me since I mentally cannot deal with being out on my own. I’ll always need someone to be around to help me out, I can’t be alone… I just can’t…. I’d end up dead somewhere.


I just cannot do it…. I was so happy to be out of the house yesterday for a Halloween party but as soon as I came back home and even though I’m home alone at the moment… I was just… drained. 


Coming back to the house I’ve spent being verbally abuse in is something I’ve dreaded since I woke up this morning. I was thinking about staying at my friends house but I couldn’t because my dad knew her address and would have eventually come and got me if I refused to return home.


I have no one I can rely on. 


Please I’m begging anyone that can, please take me in. I’m too old for an orphanage and a homeless shelter wouldn’t let me keep my pets. I really have nothing to offer, all I am is an emotional wreck…..  you have to be VERY patient with me… there will be days where I just CAN’T do simple things like dishes or taking out my dog. Sometime the only things I can manage to do is get on my computer and talk with my friends…. or just lay in bed on my phone watching youtube.


I just really, really need help…


Please help me.


I’m a 21 year old genderfluid gray-ace, I have a female cat and female dog, both spayed-they are very loving and affectionate. My dog is a small dog so no need for a giant space for her to run around in. I’ll be needing surgery on my wisdom teeth, I don’t drive because of my paralyzing fear of driving.


My mental health conditions are:

Bipolar depression disorder/on-off clinical depression


Asperger autism

 
Anxiety


Panic attacks


Memory problems


Hypochondriasis -meaning I’m really paranoid about my health and if I feel even a slight pain in my body my brain assumes the worst like: oh it must be cancer, or oh it’s diabetes, or oh I must be dying!-  
Insomnia and selective mutism .


My physical health conditions:

Hypoglycemia - low blood sugar-   


my weak hips and my legs that like to pop out of their sockets 


IBS {{ Irritable Bowel Syndrome. }}  

Impacted wisdom teeth in need of removal soon.

My left eye gets a black shadowy mass over it at night and it’s hard to see out of that eye in the dark.


I know this is a tall order and I know mentally ill people such as myself can sometimes be hard to deal with, but please help me. I’m so trapped and my anxiety is only getting worse. I had to go to the ER a while back because of it and had three or four large panic attacks while there and legit thought I was dying.


I just need to get out. I won’t be able to help pay bills or anything like that but I’ll try to help around the house as best as I can manage. I’ll be trying to make money off of my art work… I just need someplace to stay until my friends can move out and I can go with them. After they move I’ll be out of your hair and you won’t have to deal with me. I would go to the authorities… but I’m too afraid…. if I can’t convince them of my parents verbal abuse then I know I’m heading for horrible grief with my parents. 



I know what they’ll do, they’ll take everything away from me. They’ll take my dog away…. they’ll never let me have my computer back, they’ll guilt trip me and make it all about them as they always do. Hell they might even beat me with a damn switch…. I can’t say anything about them to anyone around me because no one will believe me. The only way anyone will believe me is if I get into trouble again and I don’t wanna do that. I’ll be grounded for three weeks, almost until the end of Christmas if I do that and what if they delete the recording? I literally cannot do anything to fight back…..


They only way to do this is to pack up my things while my parents away and is live quietly without a word. But I need to let them know I’m safe and with a good friend and I will be fine. That way they won’t freak the fuck out and call anyone. I’m  21 yrs old it’s not like I’m breaking the law by moving out and in with someone else.


 If anyone’s willing to house a mentally ill 21 year old along with her cat and dog….. please contact me.


Thank you for reading.


{{{ If you cannot help, then plz reblog. }}

You’re allowed to turn off Anon, or all asks

You’re allowed to block the people you see spreading nothing but negativity and hate in tags you browse to be happy

You don’t need to let these people be in your life

Take steps to create a safe and healthy enviroment for yourself. 

You can’t change people who negatively affect you, but you can take away their platform in your life.

Nope, all I see is that C.R.E.A.M nigga, that green! 💸 I’m a black king, black jeans on my black queen, ✊🏿 and her ass fat, too fat for a flat screen! 🍑 I’m the type of nigga make the whole fuckin’ trap lean! Kingpin nigga, put wings on a crack fiend! If they want a nigga, they gon’ have to send a SWAT team, and I’m goin’ out like Scarface in his last scene 🔥🔥🔥


Originally posted by teaandbreakfast

Originally posted by r6

You don’t have to be better than you are to make things

You don’t have to be better than you are to make things.

The things you make do not have to be perfect, and neither do you.

It’s ok to make flawed things. It’s ok to make mistakes.

Everything you make will be flawed. Everything everyone makes is flawed.

No matter how good someone is, what they create will be imperfect. If you wait until you’re capable of making a perfect thing, you’ll never make anything.

You do not need to be the best in order for it to be ok to make things. You don’t even have to be impressive.

It’s ok to make things even though other people make better things.  It’s ok to make things, even if other people know more than you do.

It’s also ok to make things even if you’re not sure the things you’re making are any good at all.

It’s ok not to know everything. It’s ok to make mistakes. It’s ok to make things that aren’t good enough.

Everyone who makes things, has made things that weren’t good enough, and will continue to do so. Everyone who is skilled started out unskilled. Nobody starts out as the best.

It’s ok to make things, even if you are the worst, even if you are the least skilled, and even if you make a lot of mistakes that others wouldn’t.

You don’t have to be the best in order to make things. You just have to make things.

You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to be better than you are. You can make things as you are, with the skills and knowledge you already have.

You don’t have to be a professional or an expert in order to make things. You don’t have to have years of experience making things in order to make things.

You don’t have to wait to be better, or to know more, or to hold off on making things until you’re capable of making better things. You can make the things you’re already capable of making.

No matter who you are or what your skill level is, you’re good enough to make things.

You can make the things you’re already capable of making, and you can keep learning.

The worst thing about it all..is that I don’t feel in control. It’s like sitting in the passengers seat and watching someone else crash the car.
—  Anxiety

rey and poe struggling with sleep after their respective encounters with kylo and running into each other outside in the dead of night, because they both needed to see the sky. they both needed the vastness of the sky to shake off the feeling of someone else in their head.

rey and poe sharing their sky with each other.

Don’t feel bad about being convinced by delusions- that’s what they do. You shouldn’t have to feel embarrassed about your delusions once you realise that’s what they are. NTs and the media try and pressure us into feeing guilty about our delusions when we shouldn’t be.

The necessity to have a dream to strive for in this series is about as blatant as can be in chapter 14. Eren has completely zoned out in titan form, not consciously aware of the harsh reality surrounding him. Eren’s dream-like state is interesting to analyze. 

He’s a child again, the 9 or 10 year old living with his mom, dad, and Mikasa. His family. His home. It’s a peaceful place, away from the calamity of the world he’s trapped in. Armin is desperately trying to reach him, to bring him back to his senses, out of that complacency he’s been lured into. Stabbing him through the arm in a futile attempt to cut him from the titan did nothing to deter Eren from his hazy state. The titan reacted, but mentally, Eren is still trapped. 

In his dreamlike state, Eren is apathetic to the idea of going outside at all. He has no desire to join the Survey Corps. Despite hearing Armin’s cries about the danger of the situation he and everyone is in, Eren remains blissfully disconnected from it. He shows no signs of wanting to go anywhere or do anything, even when others are in danger.

This may as well be an entirely different character Armin is trying to talk to. This isn’t the Eren he knows and loves at all. 

The readers have the luxury of seeing both sides of this conversation, but it’s easy to forget that Armin can’t actually hear anything Eren is saying back to him. He can’t hear Eren questioning why he should even go outside, but right after Eren says that, Armin begins talking about the outside world, as if on cue.

He realizes his previous tactics weren’t working, and tries for a different approach. 

He doesn’t just start off with mentioning the world beyond the walls in general. he opens up by reminding Eren how they are going to go together. And that’s what starts bringing Eren back, what starts to pull him out of his passive state.

Armin goes on about the wonders of the world, then says something intriguing. 

Suddenly, Armin’s surprised expression back from the night of graduation makes more sense. Eren hadn’t talked about the desire to explore the outside world in years. Armin had become convinced he either forget or lost interest, but he was wrong. Eren knew talking about it would just entice Armin more, possibly persuading him to join the Survey Corps. That’s why he hesitated to be open about his dream when addressing his fellow trainees, and why immediately after he was concerned about which branch Armin decided to join.

It’s like this thought only now hit Armin, and that’s why his face lit up right before he began talking about the outside world to Eren again here. It wasn’t just the prospect of their dream that invigorated him, it was the realization that Eren went quiet about it for the sake of protecting him. 

Now, Armin is reminding Eren of that dream. If the thought of the outside world alone was enough to get Eren reinvigorated, then he would have already been brought back to his senses the moment he spoke about it in his dreamlike state (”Why do I have to go outside? Why join the Survey Corps?”). That isn’t the case. It takes Armin reminding him that they planned on going there together that makes it possible for Eren to stir. As far as Eren is aware, his sole reason for being motivated by the world beyond the walls is because he believes in retaking their freedom stolen from them. A freedom humanity should have by basic right. He says as much to Armin when questioned why he wanted to go outside in the first place. 

“It’s because…I was born into this world!”

And Eren regains full control. Even as he carries the boulder to seal the gate, to complete the mission to secure humanity’s first true victory against the titans, he thinks back to Armin questioning his wish to go outside. 

Eren believes everyone has a right to see the world beyond the walls, it’s a freedom they are all entitled to the moment they are born. No one should be allowed to take that from them. Seeing the outside world is the greatest freedom Eren can imagine, so working towards that goal is what motivates him. It’s his most basic, or primordial, desire. 

(Other translations use the word “primitive,” but take a wild guess which one I prefer)

Had Eren never been introduced to the idea of there being an entire bountiful world beyond the walls, you have to wonder what his life would have been like. It was the realization that there was so much out there, but couldn’t be accessed because of the titans, that spurred his desire for taking back that freedom. He became adamant about fighting back against anyone who tried to take away freedom, whether it was titans or traffickers.

Eren’s own personality dictated how he went about seeking that freedom, but the inspiration to do so started with one illegal book. A book that was shared with him by another kid who was an outcast just like him. A kid who made the idea of seeing all those wonders in the book seem like a fantastic dream rather than nonsensical writings. That all became the foundation for Eren’s motivation, and is shared by Armin just as well. 

You can’t just love someone & assume their mental illness will disappear. Most mental illness’s cannot be cured, just controlled at times. If you love someone or are in love with someone who suffers from mental illness don’t try to love them differently. You can’t change when the depression or anxiety hits. When you truly love someone, you find ways to help them ease what’s overwhelming. Don’t ever just try to love someone’s mental illness away. Being trapped inside yourself is one of the most defeating feelings. If you can’t be patient, kind & understanding with someone who randomly gets sad, that’s ohkay.. But never blame someone for how they are forced to view the world.

“I wish my mind was the same as everyone’s around me. I wish I wasn’t in constant fear of everyone leaving, especially her. I wish I didn’t destroy everyone and everything in my path because I want everyone to hear and see me so bad. Please don’t leave me, but get the fuck away. I’m trapped inside this black and white world made up of nothing but death and ultimatums. It would be easier to let everything take over. Let the sadness, the pain, the anxiety let it all just kill me. If I have to live like this forever, is this a life I really want?”
- my journal; April 8th, 2016, 4:17 pm