mental trap

The Pawns And The Kings

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8

Originally posted by bangtanbtsmut

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Type: Smut

Plot: The reader is kidnapped, left alone in utter darkness. Once the day of her auctioning comes, she’s given to the head of one of the worlds most powerful gangs, Jungkook. She was nothing but a gift to him. But her little soul turns out to have the power to turn the tides in the worlds angriest ocean. And it turns out, Jungkook isn’t the only man whom eyes have settled upon her.

Keep reading

Peridot, and Nurturing

(Or, bellsingur re-examines her unconscious beliefs)

SO through a quick skim of Ao3 College AU, I found that a majority of people would headcanon Peridot as a Engineering Major (Electrical, Biological, Mechanical, etc), and to a lesser extent, a Computer Science Major. 

Makes sense. When we first see Peridot, she’s got all these cool tech things. She has cool artificial limbs. She does cool tech things. She builds and fixes things.

So most of us immediately categorize her as a typical science and math minded nerd. Peridot’s smart, she’s logical and analytical, she’s a technician. 

The more we know about her, like once we find out she’s a Kindergartener, we modify our perception of her a bit, but it remains the mostly the same. 

(Assuming everyone had the same thought process as me, sorry)

But here’s the thing: Though Peridot might be good at, yeah, engineering and technology, it seems her passion is nurturing things. Nurturing life, making gems, planting. She relates her job as a Kindergartener to farming, probably in that it both requires growing things. 

She would actually likely be an Agricultural Sciences major (imagine her social media full of farming memes lol), maybe even Obstetrics or Child Development Psychology. 

And I love that. 

When we think of nurturing, we think of children and mothering and all these soft and gentle emotions. Characteristics like kind and affectionate. We think of Rose and Steven (plant superpowers too), of Pearl. Delicate and more on the feminine side of things. When we think of plant-lovers, they’re loving of all life and caring. Balls of sunshine. 

Peridot…is not. She’s brash and arrogant, she’s all logic and rationality, she’s grumpy, she seems to tend towards the more hard science side of things. When I - shallowly, without much consideration - think of her as a Child Development Psychologist, it’s like…will she act just like the kids, or will she make them cry? She’s not maternal, she’s not feminine in the way we think of Pearl and Rose, say. (Again, assuming most everyone fell into the same mental trap I did).

Tvtropes lists this trope for Peridot:

But the actual trope name is Caring Gardener


Peridot is nothing if not a very serious and hard worker. She’s determined and she takes lots of pride in her job and doing it right. She was very committed to the Kindergartens, which she once saw as the generator of life. She cultivates a whole plot of farmland and those plants look very healthy and fresh. She wants to protect all life to the point of defecting her Homeworld. 

I’ve gotten used to plants everywhere. Bugs and breeze and sunshine…

The definition of ‘nurturing’ is just: “care for and encourage the growth or development of”. Peridot might not act in the image of what we think ‘caring’ looks like (but that might speak deeper about how we as a society views acceptable expressions of ‘caring’), but she’s exactly that. Caring and encouraging of growth. A nurturer. And a good, dedicated one at that. 

She’s the true mom of the show. 

I feel victim to a lot of stereotypes, ones indirectly, but at its one of its cores, about gender roles and traits. I thought ‘logical and calculating’ = technology and hard sciences, masculine, and in the opposite side of things, ‘emotions and caring’ = caregiving and soft sciences, feminine. “Haha, Peridot is a Kindergartener, what a silly name; Peridot is a farmer, what a weird hobby. Haha, Peridot is a mechanic, not a midwife.”

She’s both. That’s who she is, all that and more, a complex individual with distinct personality, worldview, hobbies, passions, that needn’t to align with the categories we construct in our minds. 

Thank you, Steven Universe, and Rebecca Sugar, for exploring the possibilities. 

You don’t have to be better than you are to make things

You don’t have to be better than you are to make things.

The things you make do not have to be perfect, and neither do you.

It’s ok to make flawed things. It’s ok to make mistakes.

Everything you make will be flawed. Everything everyone makes is flawed.

No matter how good someone is, what they create will be imperfect. If you wait until you’re capable of making a perfect thing, you’ll never make anything.

You do not need to be the best in order for it to be ok to make things. You don’t even have to be impressive.

It’s ok to make things even though other people make better things.  It’s ok to make things, even if other people know more than you do.

It’s also ok to make things even if you’re not sure the things you’re making are any good at all.

It’s ok not to know everything. It’s ok to make mistakes. It’s ok to make things that aren’t good enough.

Everyone who makes things, has made things that weren’t good enough, and will continue to do so. Everyone who is skilled started out unskilled. Nobody starts out as the best.

It’s ok to make things, even if you are the worst, even if you are the least skilled, and even if you make a lot of mistakes that others wouldn’t.

You don’t have to be the best in order to make things. You just have to make things.

You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to be better than you are. You can make things as you are, with the skills and knowledge you already have.

You don’t have to be a professional or an expert in order to make things. You don’t have to have years of experience making things in order to make things.

You don’t have to wait to be better, or to know more, or to hold off on making things until you’re capable of making better things. You can make the things you’re already capable of making.

No matter who you are or what your skill level is, you’re good enough to make things.

You can make the things you’re already capable of making, and you can keep learning.

The worst thing about it that I don’t feel in control. It’s like sitting in the passengers seat and watching someone else crash the car.
—  Anxiety

I don’t want to spend nights sitting in a quiet room on a couch across from a woman taking notes anymore. I don’t want to pour my heart on it to have it wrecked, don’t want to cry in front of a woman being paid to listen to my problems. I don’t want to dread being vulnerable once or twice a week again. I don’t want to turn down plans with friends so we can drive over to that waiting room, filled with vaguely comfortable furniture, soft lighting, magazines, and other kids who don’t want to talk. They say give it time. “Therapy is very helpful.” They say with the fourth try at medications it should ease the pain.

-but all these empty promises are so last year.

anonymous asked:

my goddess,,, may i tell you about,,, bts x bnha,,,

COME AT ME i’m gonna just name random quirks that pop out of my head at first thought lmaoooo:

jin would have magical flying kisses that paralyses whoever he blows them at, namjoon would be fashionable Leg Man™ (rival of best jeanist), jungkook has One For All (super strength), jimin can convert his body to be soft like mochi to hard as steel, hobi can cause earthquakes by poppin moves to create blasts, tae possesses the abilities of a super tiger and yoongi can mentally torture people by trapping them in his mindscape

Don’t expect mentally ill/disordered people to not display symptoms around you because they love you.
Don’t expect someone with BPD not to have fears you’ll abandon them because they love you.
Don’t expect someone with psychosis to stop being delusional around you because they love you.
Don’t expect someone with autism to stop stimming around you because they love you.
Don’t expect someone with ASPD to show you lots of empathy because they love you.

For most is us, our symptoms don’t disappear because we’re with someone we love- it doesn’t mean we don’t love you or that you’re not special- mental illness doesn’t care who we’re with.

trapped for months,
just because you were scared.
you held me back from adventure,
simply because you were a coward.
it’s not fair that you kept me locked in,
all due to your fear.
i let you hide me away,
keep me from so many experiences.
and now you’re gone,
doing everything you kept me from.
living as if you didn’t leave me broken,
walking this earth as a hypocrite.
although i cannot say i wasn’t broken,
all those months of being shut in.
—  Locked Away // a.p // 05.29.17

Nope, all I see is that C.R.E.A.M nigga, that green! 💸 I’m a black king, black jeans on my black queen, ✊🏿 and her ass fat, too fat for a flat screen! 🍑 I’m the type of nigga make the whole fuckin’ trap lean! Kingpin nigga, put wings on a crack fiend! If they want a nigga, they gon’ have to send a SWAT team, and I’m goin’ out like Scarface in his last scene 🔥🔥🔥

Originally posted by teaandbreakfast

Originally posted by r6

Hey lads, I got sanctioned by the DWP for being unable to “prove” that epilepsy prevented from making one of my appointments. I took my medication in to them (they said I could be using someone else’s so it meant nothing) and showed them my discharge letter from when my fit hospitalised me (apparently still not good enough.)

I have the letter informing me of my sanction and I’ll scan it in when I get home and add it to this post.

I am a disabled and severely mentally ill gay person trapped in an awfully abusive and homophobic home (there’s some posts about that in tagged/personal if proof is needed but please be aware it may trigger). A month without money would force me to spend even more time in what is already a dangerous place, where i have been beaten in the past.

I have to buy my own food and pay my phone bill in addition to travel and medications. On top of that, this has come at a time when I need to urgently replace my knee brace, which I wear daily.

My PayPal is

Even a small donation would help me survive. I cannot ask my family for money as news of this would get back to my parents. If you cannot afford to donate please reblog this. It could literally help save my life. Thank you ♡♡♡♡

anonymous asked:

hey, I'm sure you have noticed that tumblr has become pretty toxic and somewhat frustrating... do you perhaps know any websites that one could use as an alternative?

ho boy have I noticed it lmao… 

Hmmm. I use only tumblr and twitter so far, I heard about pillowfort but i don’t know if it’s up yet. But I plan to migrate to twitter slowly but surely, I’m not saying i’m leaving tumblr soon but it’ll happen. 

Headcanon: Velociraptor Appearances

I dunno if you you guys heard about this fan theory, but I pretty much accept it as my main headcanon because it’s a pretty cool and sinister concept.

A lot of people have questioned why the Velociraptors from JP3 look so different from the ones from JP and TLW. Obviously it’s pretty much universally accepted that they are separated into two fanon species: nublarensis and sornaensis.

The nublarensis are naked, and the males are orange with black stripes, while the females are mostly brown.

The sornaensis males have small amounts of quill-like feathers on their head and neck, and are a lot more colorful, being reddish and brownish with a white stripe down the middle, while the females are white with brown/black spots.

Yet both species can be found on Isla Sorna, despite their names. The reason they look differently is never really explained or questioned by anyone in the third film, so it’s left to the fans to figure out why.

As we know, the sornaensis raptors depicted in JP3 show much higher prowess in vocal communication and pack mentality; even setting a trap for Billy and the Kirbys when they went to help Udesky. In some ways, these raptors were much more unsettling than the ones in the previous two films. We also know that the geneticists at InGen definitely tampered extensively with the DNA of their animals.

The theory is that the Velociraptor sornaensis were the first type of Velociraptor ever cloned by InGen. However, when faced by their sheer intelligence and how dangerous they were, they decided to create a new breed of raptor; less smart, less hazardous to guests, putting investors at ease. The feathers were removed and they eyes enlarged with slit pupils for a more terrifying appearance, although they were not as dangerous as the sornaensis. Of course, the nublarensis still proved to be a more ambitious endeavor than InGen had originally planned.

Originally posted by gameraboy

As for why the two types of raptor can be seen on Isla Sorna, but not in the same place, it’s possible that the two breeds keep to their own respective territories on the island. Since TLW took place on the east side of Isla Sorna, and JP3 took place on the west side, this is entirely probable.

I hope you guys like this theory as much as I do! I think about this stuff way too much.

Why saying Sirius is “good” but Severus is “bad” is outrageous hypocrisy

I recently saw a post comparing Sirius and Harry wherein the poster says that despite an abusive background both Harry and Sirius were “good”. I didn’t disagree with any of her other points so I didn’t mention them but I did point out that I don’t define Sirius as a “good” person.
She didn’t like what I said so I just left her to it but the more I reflect upon the parallels between Sirius and Severus the more annoyed I got at the knee jerk assumption that Sirius is just a good guy and Severus is just a bad one. This is going to get rambling and fanon heavy but mostly I just want to get my outrage at the irritating hypocrisy off my chest. Please actually look at what a character has done not the colour of the hat they metaphorically wear. Both these characters are grey, not snow white, not satanically black, grey.

Point 1) Harming children is unforgivable. Sirius caused actual physical harm to Ron, he broke the boys leg in his revenge driven attack intended to lead to the death of Peter Pettigrew. He woke Ron up while waving a knife over the vulnerable sleeping child, he scared an entire school for a year. Severus has never caused physical injury to a child but he is undeniably a nasty bully.

Point 2) Being a nosy or sneaky teenager. Sirius describes Severus as a sneaky child, always spying on others and up to no good so he deserved to be lured to the shrieking shack to face a werewolf. But it was Sirius and his friends who participated in the creation of the marauders map. A device used to spy on everyone in the school with no regard for their privacy or consent. Who is the creepy sneak in this scenario?

Point 3) Being a bully. Sirius was a rotten nasty bully from the minute he set foot in Hogwarts until the minute he left. He had a few years of adult life we know nothing about and then was unjustly sent to Azkaban. After he escaped he remained a fugitive, gets incarcerated in his childhood home which worsened his PTSD and set him on a downward spiral of mental health. He remained trapped there until his death because no one helped him with his trauma or recovery. He was nice to his friends and really nasty to those he saw as enemies like Kreacher, Bellatrix or Severus. Sirius physically and verbally abused Kreacher. The elf is a visible reminder of his awful childhood and how messed up his current situation is, Sirius was always in a position of power over Kreacher.
Severus was the victim of bullies from the moment he set foot in Hogwarts until the minute he left. He was very probably bullied at home if not outright abused by his father. He was briefly a death eater and then turned spy and was put in the role of teacher at Hogwarts, a role he was wholly unsuited for, he too very probably suffered PTSD and being required to remain in the site of these scarring memories with no one helping him with his trauma or recovery either. His mental health suffered. Severus verbally bullies children, he particularly dislikes Harry who is a reminder of his tormentor and how much he has messed up his life. Severus is in a position of power over the children. Both of them are bullies but Severus has never been physically violent to those he has a position of power over.

Point 4) Perception of Harry. Sirius encouraged Harry to break rules and frankly endangered him because he wanted to be Harry’s peer, not a responsible adult. He sometimes slips and sees James in Harry so much he doesn’t seem to see Harry at all on occasion or berates him for not being enough like James. I’m sure he does love Harry. Severus saved Harry’s life on numerous occasions and wanted him to stop breaking rules because it endangered his life. Severus sees Harry as a child not a peer. He also sees James in Harry so much he doesn’t seem to see Harry at all on occasion. I’m sure Severus did not like Harry at all. Both see Harry as an extension of his father far more than they see Harry himself.

Point 5) Opposition to Voldemort. Sirius fought and died against Voldie overtly. Severus fought covertly. Both gave their lives for Harry and for substantially the same reason. Sirius because of James, Severus because of Lily. Both died without knowing that Harry would succeed. Both have a tragic death.

Point 6) Both of them come from abusive backgrounds. Judging from what we see of Walburga it certainly seems the Black household was verbally abusive. Sirius runs away and is taken in by his friend James. Joins the Order and fights the good fight, but as soon as James is murdered he is incarcerated. Why did all the people on the good side automatically assume he was a murderer on no evidence? Because of the shrieking shack incident and his history of bullying? Because his family was notoriously dark and so he was just reverting to type? Severus too has an abusive home but he has nowhere to run, no one to take him in. He has no escape and no friends that we know of. Where else could he turn other than the death eaters? No one was surprised because Slytherin house is notoriously dark. Neither got to escape, heal or change. Both are trapped in the assumptions and prejudices of their society. 

Point 7) How they interact. They hate each other. Neither wants to forgive and forget, nor should they. When Sirius has an unconscious and vulnerable Severus he mocks him and causes him further injury by carelessly banging his head against the roof of the tunnel leading to the shack. When Severus has an unconscious and vulnerable Sirius he puts him on a stretcher and takes him to safety. Who is the good guy again?

I am annoyed that because Sirius has the narrative arc of a hero he is seen as being unassailably good regardless of his actions. Severus has the narrative arc of a villain so he is seen as irredeemably bad regardless of his actions. I prefer to see a character as good when they act in a good way, bad when they act in a bad way. You shouldn’t get a free ride just cos you wear a white hat.


Jinyoung X Reader

Fluffy ~ Maybe Angsty


Super fab Anon That Gives Me All The Love Asked: Hiiiiiii the bad english speaker here again… OMGGGGG The Jaebum oneshot… im in love with it… and i have another request… can you do a Jinyoung one now?… where his s/o gets really angry with him cause his savage(? But he do his best to apologise… hope you can understand the idea… ALL THE LOVE💜


Originally posted by u-me-xist

 You stood in front of your boyfriend, shocked at what he’d just said, tears threatening to fall onto your cheeks. You knew he joked around all the time but this joke went too far. He insulted one of your biggest insecurities.

 You tried to ignore the stinging of your eyes as you left out an agitated sigh before rolling your eyes. Jinyoung saw your actions and realized what he’d done, regret pooling over him. “Babe, I’m so-”

 “Yeah I know. You’re sorry.” You interrupted him out of annoyance. You spun around to walk away but he was too quick and took ahold of your hand. He looked at you with sorrow in his eyes, pleading for you to stay. 

 Of course you knew he didn’t mean what he had said but that doesn’t make it stop hurting. You removed yourself from his grasp and left the room, going out into the living area to be met with a few other members of Got7.

 “Hey ____. Where’s Jinyoung-ah?” Youngjae asked innocently, not knowing what happened.

 “In his room.” You answered simply as you didn’t want to get into it. You started to play with the black hair tie that was around your wrist, this being a common nervous habit of yours.

 “Oh.” He breathed out, understanding something had happened. “Well, I was just about to take Coco for a walk, do you want to come with us?”

 You gave him a thankful smile, “Sure.” You said. Youngjae hated seeing you upset, especially with one of his best friends so he’d try to distract you.

 By the time Jinyoung left his quiet room, you were already gone. His eyes scanned the dorm, looking for you. “Where is she?” He asked aloud for anyone to answer.

 “Her and Youngjae took Coco for a walk.” Mark uttered, focusing on the television.

 “Did you two fight?” Bambam blurted. “I don’t want to be nosey-”

 “Then don’t be.” Jinyoung snapped, grabbing his shoes and heading out the door. He felt extremely bad for what he said and he knows he shouldn’t have even thought about joking like that but he couldn’t rewind the clock and take it back. He can only apologize.

 As you and Youngjae stroll down the walkway, he looks over at you. He can see that you’re in a different place, maybe not physically but mentally. You were trapped inside your mind, having no choice but to keep replaying Jinyoung’s words, only being able to escape when you hear Youngjae’s laugh. 

 You looked over to your friend and smiled as he continued to giggle. “What?” You ask curiously.

 “Look at Coco.” He said, not being able to stop his laughs as you turn your head to see the small dog chasing a butterfly. She would try to jump to catch it but always failed, it was as if the butterfly was teasing the pup.

 You began to giggle while you watched the two, shaking your head at the dog. Youngjae looked over to you when he heard your soft noises. “____?” He muttered. “What happened?”

 You take a deep breath after your gaze meets his. “I don’t Youngjae, it’s probably something stupid.”

 “No.” You jumped at the familiar voice. “It’s not stupid.” Jinyoung breathed out, you could tell he ran here. “____, listen. I know you’re pissed at me and you should be, I was being an ass. I am an ass, but I love you. I love every part of you, even the parts you hate about yourself. I never should have said what I did and I’m aware that my jokes can be rude sometimes and I’m so so so sorry for that.”

 You and Youngjae both just stared at the person in front of you before exchanging glances and looking back to Jinyoung. You weren’t sure how to react but you knew you wanted to hug him, so you did.

 Jinyoung tensed up for a second before relaxing into the hug and grasping onto your body. He rested his head on your shoulder, feeling relieved. You smiled before whispering, “If you ever say shit like that again, I’ll murder you.”

 He let out a breathy laugh but never let go. “If I say anything like that again, I deserve to be murdered.” 

 “Glad you agreed.” You smiled and kissed his cheek.

 You both turned to youngjae when you heard a small squeal. “You guy are so cute.”

 You all started laughing while Jinyoung pulled you closer to his torso, placing a small kiss on top of your head. “When we get back I should probably apologize to Bam too~” He admitted.

 You and youngjae sigh, “What did you do?” You said in unison as small laughs escaped your mouths. 

Jinyoung always found a way to make things up to you, he loved you too much to be stubborn. It hurt him to be away during tours so if you avoided him out of anger while he was home, he’d do anything and everything for you to forgive him. Words could describe his affection towards you.

(☞゚ヮ゚)☞ Requests open for got7 ☜(゚ヮ゚☜)
All gif credits go to the rightful owner(s)

Don’t feel bad about being convinced by delusions- that’s what they do. You shouldn’t have to feel embarrassed about your delusions once you realise that’s what they are. NTs and the media try and pressure us into feeing guilty about our delusions when we shouldn’t be.