mental poison

Worry is the most popular form of suicide. Worry impairs appetite, disturbs sleep, makes respiration irregular, spoils digestion, irritates disposition, warps character, weakens mind, stimulates disease, and saps bodily health. It is the real cause of death in thousands of instances where some other disease is named in the death certificate. Worry is mental poison.
—  William Jordan, Sell-Control Its Kingship and Majesty.

Ain’t No Saint - SilentRain91

Word Count: 66, 666

Summary: “I’m Kara,” Kara says, holding her hand out. “What’s your name, gorgeous?”

“Jesus,” Lena whispers. She wonders if the new girl – Kara – is going to keep calling her things like that.

“Fascinating name,” Kara replies. She grins smugly while she sizes the girl up and fuck yes, she’d get on top of that. “Oh Jesus,” she moans quietly.

I’m both the poison and the cure-
Baby, where does that leave us?
I keep killing us and bringing us back
to life
to love
to pain
to toxicity, part of the blood in your veins

I’m the queen and I’m the king
I’m the castle and the crown
I’m the army
tearing you down


Can’t you unplug me now?
My heartbeat is killing us.
Tear out the IV
and stop the poison

the poison was always faster than the cure.

anonymous asked:

Oro-sensei would be amazing! As to why he's a teacher, he was *completely* burnt out emotionally,mentally (Danzo whispering poison in his ear and stressing him about Konoha and how they don't trust him has more obvious effects in this AU) and physically, and he somehow ended up listed as an academy teacher instead of as a jounin-sensei (Danzo's machinations because he thought Oro would snap and experiment on the students). Oro sticks it out because it's his duty and it's only until 1/2

a replacement can be found in a few months. He gets the tiny six-year-olds who can barely say his name so he ends up being Maru-sensei or Chi-sensei or something ridiculous; he barely flinches because Jiraiya and Tsunade have made him immune to most nicknames. And to his great surprise, he adores getting these tiny blank slates and teaching them. It’s like Nawaki only *better* and he teaches them so much. He treats them like tiny adults and the kids adore him for it. It’s precious. They’re all above average and good at working out where they’re going wrong in practical work due to being taught scienctific analysis. It’s like getting multiple genin teams and he doesn’t have to undo any poor habits. He decides to stick with this class until they graduate and ends up working two jobs: scary awesome jounin *and* Academy teacher. Danzo doesn’t know what went wrong. Sarutobi is a little scared but very protective of Oro and his kids. The kids fight to be his genin team.

This would be SO CUTE, OKAY. 

new-ish follower psa

I’ve been getting a bunch of new followers lately, so just as a remark, since people don’t always see my description/about:

Just for the record, to avoid any potential awkwardness/discomfort: I’m a 23-year-old man. If you followed me not knowing this, and you’re not comfortable following me because I’m an adult and/or a man, feel free to unfollow me, no worries.

Oh, also, if you need something tagged, please let me know, and I will be happy to try my best to do so. I currently tag what I believe to be common triggers. That said, despite my best efforts, I can’t guarantee that I won’t slip up at some point, so keep that in mind, and again, feel free to unfollow me, no worries.

More elaboration follows under the cut; I tried to be brief but failed (as usual).

I am making this post because a surprisingly large number of people contact me with the impression that I’m younger than I am and/or that I’m not a man. I attribute this partially to the demographics of this site/fandom, and partially, perhaps, to the writing voice I usually use in my posts/tags/etc. (I’m intentionally using a more formal voice now, but I usually use tumblr slang on this site because it’s easier to use, with the abbreviations and such. Also, I think it’s fun.)

Anyway, don’t take this as me being opposed to being contacted for casual conversation and such–on the contrary, I’m always glad to talk to people, provided that the conversation is friendly! I just prefer that people know a bit about me in advance, because I get the impression that a lot of people who contact me here would never want to talk to me if they knew how I actually am.

Seriously, I’m aware that I am very outwardly emotional on this site; much more so than I am in real life. I think this leads some people to the impression that if anything, I’m a “soft boy ( uwu ).” But in reality, I’m kind of a “gross uni dude:” five-day-stubble, acne (I’m working on it, I swear!), DIY haircut, t-shirts with lame-ass nerdy shit on them, difficulty with basic social skills, etc. I’d post a selfie, but I have privacy concerns. Also, seeing my face may or may not cause your eyes to burn out, so I’ll spare you that pain.

(My sense of humour is also trash, for the record.)

I mean, I do shower daily and brush my teeth twice a day, practice basic hygiene, and such. But I still look like quite the disaster. My parents are not pleased.

Also, aside from fudging stuff like geographical details, minor details in stories I tell about daily life shit that could be identifying info, etc, I’m generally quite genuine on this site. I usually talk on this site as if I’m talking to close friends, because I don’t have to worry about my colleagues finding out that I like creating and consuming fanfiction and fanart and such. I mean, I doubt anyone would care, but they would a) find me very strange, and b) immediately label me as “that bi dude” (which I really don’t want to be my main identifying feature because I’m much more than my identity).

It’s also possible that some of my colleagues are homophobic, so I’d rather keep my identity to myself.

Whoops, I’m rambling. I do that, so beware of that (in case you haven’t noticed).

Also, in the spirit of full disclosure: Perry is actually (one of) my middle name(s). I use it on the internet because it doesn’t show up on any uni-related stuff that could be used to trace back to who I am irl. (I won’t say how many middle names I have because that could potentially lead someone to me. Somehow. It’s possible. I worry about these things.)

ANYWAY, pardon the rambling. If you made it this far, then I hope you haven’t grown too weary from trudging through this bog of text. I’ll now go back to my regular (un)scheduled posting.

What Rattled Me in 13 Reasons Why

Wanna know what shook me in 13 Reasons Why?

The dance scene. Where the song “The Night We Met” is playing, and Clay and Hannah begin to dance. Clay looks around at the other people dancing, the guys whose hands are low on the girls, grazing over their behinds. Grabbing and being inappropriate. Objectifying. He looks, takes a moment, and decides to slide his hands higher. Higher so that Hannah understands his intentions.

He chose to stray away from status quo.

He showed her respect. And that shook me because for so long I’ve been thinking that it was just the way of life. Guys looking at my body and touching me and grabbing and whistling because of the shape and size. Seeing me as an object they’d like to touch and use and then throw away after they’ve thoroughly discovered and tasted every part.

It shows girls that guys can choose to go on a different path. A path where they look at the inside rather than the outside. Where they aren’t there to gain something, but simply because they see your soul, your heart, and your mind and they want to know it better, want to love and cherish.

Clay is what girls need to be looking for. Not The guys who tell you how horny you make them, or ask you to come over because his parents aren’t home. But the guy who respects you. Who isn’t out on some quest to make you another notch in his belt. Let’s not settle.

Because if we stop settling, then guys will see that objectifying women and girls no longer works or helps, and this terrible mindset and sexism will be eradicated.

Someone has to make a change; and ladies I’m calling you out, imploring you to stand up against this issue and put your foot down against this poisonous mentality.

SE Drabbles Requests #1 - Claquel

1. Requested by @ondriaprice and @kornyo ! I took a bit of liberty with this one, I hope you don’t mind!

With Raquel easily being one of the most popular students at Arlington, it wasn’t a surprise that the bleachers were already filled with people. If Claire had known, she would have arrived twenty minutes before the match, instead of ten. 

She watched as the two teams filled the soccer field below, Arlington Academy and Westmount High. Raquel had been talking about this tournament for weeks now. If they won, Arlington was going to compete in the Nationals and Raquel was almost guaranteed a sports scholarship to a prestigious university.

Claire’s mouth curved into a small grin as she heard Tyler’s voice pouring out of the speakers. Lady Arlington was definitely going to regret assigning him the announcer’s job at such an important school event. The boy had too much energy.

“And now, representing Arlington Academy! Everybody, put your hands up for the Girls’ Soccer team and their captain, it’s our girl, RRRRRRRRRAQUEL PEREIRA CAAAAARMAGO!”

The crowd erupted into excited cheers, chanting her name over and over again. Claire let out a giggle as Raquel pumped her fists into the air in the middle of the soccer field. 

Her hair tied up in her regular ponytail, a bit of sweat glistening on her skin (she was probably very nervous underneath that mask of limitless confidence), her smile beaming at everyone, inspiring them to root for not only her, but the team she had worked so hard to train for this moment. 

Claire’s heart skipped a beat. Raquel was simply…breathtaking

The two girls’ eyes met, and it was like everybody else had disappeared. From far away, the brunette gave her one of those genuine smiles, the kind of smile that would melt any heart. Then, she winked at her, and Claire forgot to breathe.

Breathtaking indeed. 

But it was then that Claire noticed it. Westmount High’s team captain. While Raquel had a smile that could inspire thousands, the rival school’s captain had an expression of bitterness and…envy, directed right at Raquel.

Claire had seen that look before. It was mentally toxic and made many victims. Her stomach flipped at the thought of this girl hurting her crush.

Be careful, Raquel. She narrowed her eyes at the field, not letting Raquel out of her line of sight. Just in case.

The whistle blew and right away, players began to scatter. It wasn’t long until Arlington had the control of the ball and scored their first goal. Then, their second, then their third.

The game was almost over, with less than ten minutes remaining and with a score of 3-0 for Arlington, the Westmount students in the crowd began to show their disappointment. 

It was then that a certain feeling of dread came over Claire, the kind of feeling she got when she met a patient for the first time and just…knew by the way they looked at her that they were about to go through a plethora of health issues. It was instinct, pure instinct, and it compelled her to look at the Westmount team captain. 

Two members of the opposite team, including Westmount captain, started charging towards Raquel, who currently had the ball, with the obvious intent to hurt. Before she knew it, Claire was on her two feet, running towards the field, a lump in her throat, hoping she could make it in time. Though she knew that it was unavoidable at this point, she was too far away and they were too fast and somebody would have stopped her from entering the field without reason anyway. 

Claire couldn’t properly register what happened. All she could hear was Raquel’s scream, a massive gasp from the audience and Tyler’s voice booming (”HOLY SHIT, I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY JUST KICKED HER LIKE THAT?! WHAT THE ACTUAL F- NO TEGAN I WILL NOT CALM DOWN!)

Her thoughts began to assemble. Injury. Kick to the body. Check for bone fracture. Check if patient is still conscious. Check if there is significant blood loss. Check-

“Give her space!” Claire ordered, and the Arlington players scrambled away, automatically putting their trust into Claire while waiting for the teachers of the Health Sciences Department to make their way down to the field. 

Claire cringed when she saw Raquel’s leg. That was a lot of blood. 

“Haha! It’s just a scratch!” Raquel tried, her face losing color. “I can go back, I can-”

Claire grabbed the leg, moved it a little, and the team captain let out a scream. 

“You’re going to the hospital. I think something’s ripped.” Claire decided as the medical staff arrived and immediately loaded Raquel on to their transporter.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN A YELLOW CARD, REF?! HOW IS THAT EVEN FAIR-No, you know what? I’m done. This is bullshit. Tegan take over.” Tyler was clearly upset. And judging by the audience’s outrage, he wasn’t alone.

“I’m only going if you ride the ambulance with me.” Raquel grinned.

Claire couldn’t help but giggle.

“Of course.”

anonymous asked:

srry i just need to vent a moment because honestly. i can't vent about being aroace and hating it on any of my accounts because i'm terrified of aphobes. it's rly aggravating some old wounds and i feel like i'm just taking up space that could be taken by a more useful person and my feelings about my orientation don't matter. i feel like my existence is cringy just because i'm aroace and nonbinary. i feel like i'm embarrassing myself.

Don’t let that poisonous mentality take a hold of you. Being aroace and nonbinary is rooted within history and culture - you are literally taking after deities such as Lan Caihe of the Eight Immortals, Tatenen the father/mother of the gods, Loki, Kwanyin, and beyond. Being nonbinary has always existed as both an identity amongst the population, and also a position of power.

And so is being aroace alongside. All of the deities I’ve listed above are also aspects of sexual non-development - aka, delivering children without sex, lacking genitals, and other ways to express what’s obviously a metaphor for asexuality and aromanticism. 

The only reason why people say that being aroace and nonbinary is being ‘cringy’ is because these bits of history are missing from white western colonialism. And like everything about colonialism, people will do anything to erase something that challenges it.

- Fae

satire-please  asked:

I loved Gasoline! Black Widow Tsuna was very enjoyable to read. I can just imagine after a while, the 9th finally clues in and corners Tsuna to say exhaustedly, "Tsuna...who will you keep as a husband?" And Tsuna taps a finger to her lips in thought and then states, "Xanxus." 'Cause Xanxus would never betray the Vongola and won't lay on hand on her without her permission.

It probably would end up being Xanxus, because he’s the only one not stupid enough to try to push her past where she’s willing to go. Unfortunately, by the time Tsuna’s done with all her various husbands and Timoteo finally ‘gets’ it, he would be extremely leery to the idea of marrying her. Because you know, black widows kill their husbands. 

In the early drafts, I had him marrying him first, and them kind of doing this dance where she’s watching him and making sure he’s not about to do something stupid, and Xanxus is ticking off a mental list of possible poison locations and recalling every ounce of manners he has because he’s not stupid - any woman that can go as far as Nana Sawada has is evidently a Big Predator, even if she doesn’t look it, and her daughter, for all her sweet nature, has been caught in a corner and is very much Not Happy.

It actually ends up working to where while they never have a necessarily romantic marriage, they have a very understanding one. Tsuna doesn’t get involved in Varia unless absolutely necessary, and while Xanxus never takes her to bed or kisses her if its not in front of a formal function as part of a ruse, he respects her and acknowledges her strength as Vongola Decima, and doesn’t try to rule ‘through’ her like most men would.

Either that, or it would end up being one of the strangest love-hate relationships around, with them starting off trying to kill each other and working their emotions out through gratuitous hate sex and Vongola Family Style Fights against the Varia that always end in ties. The trust comes from them trusting that the other is set enough in their ways not to deviate from the pattern they’ve got going, and that because their routine for as long as they both live.

But yeah, glad to hear you enjoyed it. :)

Hard to Handle - Danny x Reader - Chapter 3

Series Name: Hard to Handle

Chapter Name: In Your Eyes

Pairing: Danny x Reader

Word Count: 1,584

Parts: 1 | 2 | 2.5 | (3) | 3.5 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 6.5 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

A/N: What’s this?! A chapter on gussorolex and danavidancer in one day? The same person commsioned both of these chapters, so big thanks to them. If you want a commission, just shoot me an ask!

I love you guys.

“CJ, shut the fuck up.” You hissed the command to your best friend through clenched teeth. You were standing in the soup aisle of your grocery store, eyeing the merchandise for the best weapon to use against CJ. You always enjoyed grocery shopping with your best friend, but he had a good way of making you miserable when he felt like it.

“What? All I said is that you should’ve let him slide in them cheeks.” CJ dodged your first slap and caught the can of soup that you threw at him, but your third slap connected solidly with his left cheek. A mother walking with her two children glared murderously at the two of you and marched away angrily, leaving behind both brands of Beef and Vegetable soup she had been trying to decide between. You muttered something close to an apology, but the damage was already done and she was gone. CJ just laughed.

Keep reading

Concerning Harley/Ivy and Queer Representation in DC Comics

I am going to preface this post with the following: I have always been a fan of DC comics, especially those concerning female characters.  I am also a hard-core supporter of increasing diversity in all media, including comics.  You can imagine that I wwas overjoyed when I heard the news that the romantic and sexual relationship between Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy had been confirmed.  I was outright flabbergasted when I read that the relationship was one polyamorous in nature.  (x)

After my initial joy had subsided slightly, I started thinking.  There are a lot of ways that this relationship could be handled incorrectly.  It is here that I will outline some of my most pressing concerns.

The Dr.s Harleen Quinzel and Pamela Isely, better known by their codenames, Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy, respectively, are two very well-known and recognizable characters in the DC multiverses.  They are also two of the most sexualized.

(Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn, pictured with Catwoman [Selina Kyle])

I fear that the writers and/or the “predominant” (read: white cis straight male) fandom will use this as an excuse to further sexualize these two already highly sexualized characters, which will also further contribute to the rampant lesbian fetishiztation which is found in modern society and pop culture.  The relationship between Harley and Ivy will likely become a way to sell more comics to people who think “lesbian sex is hawt,” not as a way to introduce more diversity.  What I fear is that there will be more scenes of them having sex than there will be of them actually interacting as a couple, which only serves to dehumanize the characters and delegitimize polyamorous and lesbian relationships.

DC’s move to cannonize the relationship also acts as a way to increase the characters’ “mysteriousness,” since what’s more mysterious than a woman who hes been in relationships with both men and women, potentiay at the same time. 

This might also be attributed to the characters’ histories of being mentally ill, that the writers/fandom might attribute Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn’s polyamory and/or polysexuality to their being mentally ill.  Only crazy people, these comics might end up implying, enjoy relationships with people of multiple genders.

I also highly doubt that either character will be correctly identified in the comics as bi/pan/other, but rather have one or the other write off the relationship as “experimentation,” which is another tool used in queer erasure.

Most importantly, I fear that the fact that Harley has been/still is in a relationship of a sexual or romantic nature with Pamela be an excuse for the Joker to comic violence against Harley.  The Joker is a highly abusive partner for Harley in most, if not all media in which they are presented together.

(multiple instances of the Joker physically abusive Harley, found in various comics)

Harley’s being polyamorous and/or polysexual might be a reason for the Joker to harm her; he might interpret Harley’s polyamory as her “cheating on him,” or, worse, as her starting to escape from his abusive grip.  He has reacted ver poorly to the idea of Harley cheating on him in the past, as was the case in the recent DC animated film Batman: Assault on Arkham, and other media.

This would not abide well by the Joker, who would be equally as likely to punish Harley or Ivy with violence, which would only act to further reinforce that polyamory/sexuality is bad and cheating and is something that needs to be punished.  He can and very well could injure or kill either, a death that would undoubtedly be defended by thousands of comic book fans of the “target audience.”

tl;dr: I am excited that DC is recognizing a queer relationship, especially one with such well known characters as Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn, but I also fear that, if not handled correctly, that this relationship could only act as a tool for queer erasure, the fetishization of queer relationships, the association of polyamory and/or polysexuality with mental illness, and violence against women and queer people.

anonymous asked:

Did anyone else go through a period of gender confusion before realising they were a lesbian? i spent a year or so at uni dressing in menswear (suit, tie, binder, even a trilby!) and going "I'm Not Like Those Other Girls" and aggressively denying i was gay. then i realised how poison that mentality was and did a 180 in the other direction and started wearing frilly 50s dresses and red lipstick and peter pan collars (1/2)

(2/2) realising i’m gay has explained SO MUCH about my struggles around gender and femininity and men and other women… and now i’ve come full circle and i’m at a place where i dress however i want and i don’t HAVE to do things like wear makeup or wear dresses but i’m also not putting on a costume, you know? being butch is so freeing! it’s awesome!

This is absolutely something that happens. This mirrors my journey so well and I think a lot of butches can relate to it. I agree being butch is very freeing!

- Mod J