Creating a Day Worth Living

1. Get up early

2. Express gratitude for what you have

3. Do something productive

4. Do something fun

5. Do something for someone else

6. Get some sunlight

7. Exercise – it doesn’t matter what – just do some exercise

8. Put a smile in someone’s face

9. Express gratitude or compliment someone

10. Learn or do something new.


my meds are thieves

Inventory of missing property with grievances:

  • Attention span - ability to read more than a half page
  • Stable weight - water retention - unstable metabolism
  • Memory - no instant recall - academic embarassment
  • Steady hand - no more drawing - no more piano
  • Peaceful sleep - nightmares - insomnia
  • Motivation and energy - hopelessness - disbelief in a future
  • Pain free life - stomach pain - extreme thirst
  • Mornings - fatigue - inability to wake
  • Social drinking - tolerance varies wildly - alcohol now casues terror
  • Diary not dictated by bloods - monthly needles
  • Emotionally connecting with loved ones - inevitable damage and loss
  • Good long term health prospects - organ damage - goodbye kidneys

Choosing to get better can rob you blind - appreciate the bravery in that.

“Taking medication is just a cop-out”

Taking medication is a cruel choice of side effects over symptoms.

Have the decency to respect that.

anonymous asked:

hi! I saw your recent video and thought you would be interested to know that Kati Morton (a therapist on YouTube) also recently posted a video about the same article! it's called something like "could your mental illness be for attention?" this offers the view of a psychologist and I thought it was very good! also how did you go about getting the diagnosis of BPD? did you think you had it before you were diagnosed or did you doctors suggest it to you? love your videos xoxox

I have seen a few Kati Morton vids before! What a lovely woman. I find her so helpful and kind. It’s lovely to find someone with the knowledge and education on the subject that she has, but who is also so compassionate and understanding of sufferers. I will find her vid and give it a watch for sure!

BPD was first suggested to me after the first overdose I took. When I was talking to the hospital psych team before they could let me leave they mentioned it to me and gave me some leaflets. They told me to bring it up with my therapist because they thought it might help me to do so. 

From then on it took an AGE to be diagnosed, and part of me didn’t even want to really because of the stigma, but now I have a diagnosis and I feel unexpectedly liberated by it. I thought I would feel trapped, but now I feel I have a greater understanding of myself and that I can truly begin my journey of learning to deal with what I have and living my life again on my own terms. 

My mental health team were so vague that only recently have they started telling me my official diagnosis. A while ago it was ‘oh we don’t like labels’, then it was ‘you are showing signs of BPD but might not have it’, then it was ‘oh okay you definitely do we need to treat this ASAP!’ 

I can understand how tentative doctors and psychiatrists have to be with this kind of thing, but I wish they had listened to what I was saying about simply wanting to know what was up with me. It’s been easier to deal with since the diagnosis and I’m even getting more specific help for BPD issues. 


Mini achievements

This probably seems like a tiny tiny thing to other people but I have to notice tiny achievements to keep positive. For the first time in years I went into a shop alone today just to buy a couple of bits. It was less than 5 minutes and my partner was waiting outside but I managed to stay present and nobody bought any pills! I know it’s tiny but I’m actually proud of myself and I was panicky but it felt so good to just have those few minutes alone and choose what to buy with my money, holding my wallet.

Also I made our dinner tonight, with no help at all from my partner! Again it’s small and it wasn’t anything interesting but I used the oven myself. No knives or anything but it’s a start! Just wanted to share some positivity :)

okay okay hear me out (and you’re probs not gonna like this) but i truly think trying to lessen/’cure’ mental illness has actually harmed more than helped. way back when if someone was mentally ill they might well have been known as ‘that weird man who lives down the street’ (i actively remember when i was a child some man would always use his walking stick to direct traffic, he was clearly mentally ill and my dad would describe him as ‘wacky’, but i always loved the guy and would wave out my window every time i saw him and giggle) but that weird man down the street would also get talked to. people would talk to him, bring him a bag of sugar if he needed it, would help him, and alright, he may get teased but that’s something he could deal with, he’d rather be mocked every once in a blue moon than have blank or frightened stares, than have people hurry down the street to avoid him. as society at large has become more aware of mental illness, how it can appear (violent, angry, moody, emotional, crying a lot, etc) and how people can ‘cure it’, the more scared the general public have become. instead of being ‘that weird man down the street’ it’s now ‘that scary man down the street’, isolation for mentally ill people makes them worse, and because people’s neighbours refuse to talk to them, actively frighten their children by telling them to stay away from them instead of have a little fun at his expense, or whatever else, mentally ill people are worse off than ever before. i’d rather be mocked and made fun of than people be scared of or shout at me. 

just a friendly reminder to always respect people with mental illnesses :)

conversations can be tricky and usually talking about something they’ve suffered through is very triggering :)

sometimes trying to relate to them only hurts them more, so please take care of their needs :)

The Benefits of Mindfulness

1. It helps us to let go of the tiredness, stress and negativity that clutters up our mind. That then frees us to be still, and get in touch with our true self.

2. It helps us get in touch with our feelings and emotions - so we’re able to respond, and not simply react.

3. It helps us get in touch with our empathy - so we’re more able to listen, understand, connect and get inside the world of other people in our lives.

4. It keeps our focus on the present - so we’re not trapped by the past, or the pain and regret that can stop us moving on. Or, by concerns about the future, which haven’t happened yet!

5. It helps to keep us grounded in who we really are. That can increase our self confidence and self esteem, and we’re able to access and draw upon our strengths.

6. The body and mind are closely intertwined. Thus, if we’re careful to attend to our mental wellbeing it’s like to be good for our physical health, too.


I keep pacing and pacing and my thoughts are going a million miles and hour and I can’t stop thinking of irrelevant times of sadness with people I rarely have thought about at all until this moment and it’s all racking up like points against me and now my dad’s in my room and I can’t pace or get up and walk, but I can feel this negative energy build up inside of me and I feel like I’m going to start shaking and oh my god I never knew how it wasn’t completely obvious how down I’ve been in my life because people told me to stop pretending not because they were mean but because I don’t express things as much as I thought and or maybe no one notices my status and right now I want to climb a mountain or do whatever to distract me from this because earlier I was thinking of death and I’m thinking of it again and it’s all because I’ve returned to ordinary life that I hate and I wish I could be on an adventure forever but that cannot be and I want to break down everything I’ve ever known and run away to a different life and I want to tell every single person how angry I am and let out these fears I’ve had toward them because of things they’re done and never speak to them again and oh god I keep looking for songs upon songs to find the feelings I’m feeling but all I know is that I feel like I want to die but there’s no good reason for that at all and it will pass but maybe the shout from the void is trying to tell me that I’ve got it all wrong and maybe I need to change this life but the life will change and then I will feel lonelier than now and miss things I didn’t even like oh my god make it stop

Сегодняшняя галлюцинация казалась… другой. Она подтверждала, что я еще более безумна, чем допускала. Моя мать трудилась лишь над небольшим нарушением душевного равновесия, а я была совершенно спятившей. Ненормальной. Психически больной.
—  Мишель Ходкин “Неподобающая Мара Дайер”(х)
What’s The Worst You Can Do?

I don’t fear demons.

What thoughts can you put in my head
Worse than I have constructed
That wake me up in cold sweats?

What marks could you make with claws
Worse than the ones I drew myself
In burns and blades and worst of all in secret?

To speak in tongues I do not know
Would be better than to be silent in the ones I do.

Possess me, become me.

When you crawl out after a week, begging to be elsewhere,
And hand control back to me
At least you can have the reprieve of Hell.

I live somewhere worse (here).