Hey folks.  I need a favor.

I’m asking you all for some kind of accountability.  I have been spiraling for a good solid two weeks now and I have probably wrecked a couple of friendships over it.  I learned all about some trigger points I have and how they affect me.  This was a really bad one.  It’s had me yelling at people I love, being unreasonable, being combative and reactionary, crying, isolating, and basically being a complete fucking nightmare.  I’m only just now coming out of it, and I’m still feeling a bit hypersensitive.

I’ve considered meds (but found the risks more than I’m comfortable with given my current situation) and I go to therapy, and right now I’m on a waiting list for a cognitive behavioral therapy program (that honestly seems like the best tool I’m going to find).  That being said, in the short term my coping skills suck.  The only thing that I know for a fact works for me with any regularity is exercise and getting outdoors.  Of course I have an excuse for that too and I haven’t been working out because I have some negative body issues, I don’t deal well with street harassment (especially the “are you trans?” and “you look like a man” type that I’ve encountered on my runs in the past) so I’ve been avoiding it.

Basically, I need to start exercising again because it’s the only surefire tool I have in the short term.  I don’t want to turn this into a fitness blog, and I don’t want to upset anyone with posts about body composition (or recomposition), weight, or running/exercise posts, but I do want to start keeping a sort of daily fitness/wellness check-in.  I’d like to know what people’s thoughts are on a post a day about my personal exercise goals being part of the normal feed here.  You can respond to the post or in an ask.

Thanks in advance.  I know a lot of folks have expressed interest in trying to help me in various ways, and this kind of accountability is a real concrete thing that you all can help me with, but only if you’re ok with it.

How to Care Less about What Other People Think

1. Know what matters to you, personally – what you stand for, and what your values are .

2. Don’t be anxious about breaking social norms. The more often you do this, the less it bothers you.

3. Decide not to live as a people pleaser, or to get upset and take rejection personally.

4. Hang out with people who are self confident, who know what they believe in, and what they want from life. You’ll find that their self-confidence will rub off on you, too.

5. Try and work on becoming more competent in the skills and areas that matter to you. That will naturally enhance your self confidence, and develop a self image that is strong and positive.

6. Travel, and spend time with different kinds of people. That will show you how diverse attitudes and outlooks are. That is, there’s no one way of being – so find, and be, yourself.

some creative terms to describe my current mental health situation:
-the feeling when you drop your shirt in a public toilet when you’re changing in a stall
-when a painting is slightly off center but if you move it it’s slightly off center in the other direction and it’s Never just Right
-the inevitability of having a runny nose but the tissues start to hurt your nose cause you use so many but you can’t just drip snot on everything so you are consigned to pain
-this post is a cry for help
-i hate myself
-please

stop criticizing Neda plz

I am super sick of all these blogger writing posts against Neda Week cause people use it to post their personal pictures.

I am sick because Neda does NOT exist in my country and here NOBODY gives a shit about eating disorders. No one talks about anorexia, bulimia, bed and other EDs. Most people just think anorexia is a personal choice for silly girls who don’t know what to do with their lives and who want to get thinner. They don’t even know about the existence of other EDs.

I do understand that many people use Neda in a wrong way, and I agree this should be stopped, but please remember that it’s a very importantant initiative cause it gives people a chance to talk about eating disorders, which is crucial cause many of us are totally uneducated about that shit.