mental breakdown

There are nights when it all comes crashing down and I am not able to breathe anymore.
There are nights where all the scars on my body are not sufficient enough and I need to inflict more to be numb, to suffer.
There are nights when I cry violently for 10 straight minutes and then just shut up and return back to the dinner table like nothing has happened.
There are nights where my demons lurk so deep in my head I can’t pull them out so I sit on the floor sobbing till my eyes go red and I can’t do this anymore.
There are nights when all the therapy in the world couldn’t heal me.

And those are the nights when I need you by my side to tell me it’s going to be alright.
You make it better. Please come and console me, I really need you this unfortunate night.

Some days I feel so hollow I swear you could scoop out the contents of my chest and I wouldn’t feel a thing. I walk weightless; a feat possible only after the conviction you’ve become nothing. So many believe a mental disorder hurts the mind, but it’s the mind that hurts me. How is something so futile so cruel?
—  Numb // A.S
Some friends don’t understand this. They don’t understand how desperate I am to have someone say, I love you and I support you just the way you are because you’re wonderful just the way you are. They don’t understand that I can’t remember anyone ever saying that to me. I am so demanding and difficult for my friends because I want to crumble and fall apart before them so that they will love me even though I am no fun, lying in bed, crying all the time, not moving. Depression is all about if you loved me you would.
—  Prozac Nation – the most relatable quote in the history of quotes
The only bad habit I’ve successfully given up on is myself
—  The Art of Giving Up // A.S