when your friend/loved one is dissociating

how to tell if they are dissociating

- non-focused, “zoned out”
- doesnt reply to comments, or replies very half-heartedly
- eyes arent focused
- doesnt seem to notice anything going on around them
- repeats doing or saying the same things over and over
- forgets what they said or did, whether in the last few minutes or the last few days

things you can do to help

- get them to a quiet, calm place
- ask them very basic questions: “are you okay?” “how are you feeling?” “is there anything you need from me right now?”
- help them recount the events theyve forgotten, whether in the last few minutes or last few weeks
- walk them through what is going on, tell them, if you can, that you think that theyre dissociating
- if you can, keep an eye on them and look out for things they might miss, ie: crossing the street, accidentally bumping into something, receiving important information
- sometimes showing them funny stuff or having them read an article or something after doing the previous steps helps

keep in mind that i am not a doctor or professionally qualified to help with mental illness. i just wrote down a list of what i like to have people do when i dissociate. hope this helps someone!

30 Signs Of Emotional Abuse In A Relationship

Please. Please. Please, keep in mind that ANY relationship can be abusive. Romantic or not.

1. They humiliate you, put you down, or make fun of you in front of other people.

2. They regularly demean or disregard your opinions, ideas, suggestions, or needs.

3. They use sarcasm or “teasing” to put you down or make you feel bad about yourself.

4. They accuse you of being “too sensitive” in order to deflect their abusive remarks.

5. They try to control you and treat you like a child.

6. They correct or chastise you for your behavior.

7. You feel like you need permission to make decisions or go out somewhere.

8. They try to control the finances and how you spend money.

9. They belittle and trivialize you, your accomplishments, or your hopes and dreams.

10. They try to make you feel as though they are always right, and you are wrong.

11. They give you disapproving or contemptuous looks or body language.

12. They regularly point out your flaws, mistakes, or shortcomings.

13. They accuse or blame you of things you know aren’t true.

14. They have an inability to laugh at themselves and can’t tolerate others laughing at them.

15. They are intolerant of any seeming lack of respect.

16. They make excuses for their behavior, try to blame others, and have difficulty apologizing.

17. The repeatedly cross your boundaries and ignore your requests.

18. They blame you for their problems, life difficulties, or unhappiness.

19. They call you names, give you unpleasant labels, or make cutting remarks under their breath.

20. They are emotionally distant or emotionally unavailable most of the time.

21. They resort to pouting or withdrawal to get attention or attain what they want.

22. They don’t show you empathy or compassion.

23. They play the victim and try to deflect blame to you rather than taking personal responsibility.

24. They disengage or use neglect or abandonment to punish or frighten you.

25. They don’t seem to notice or care about your feelings.

26. They view you as an extension of themselves rather than as an individual.

27. They withhold sex as a way to manipulate and control.

28. They share personal information about you with others.

29. They invalidate or deny their emotionally abusive behavior when confronted.

30. They make subtle threats or negative remarks with the intent to frighten or control you.

Just some fic recs...

I’ve read a lot of really good fic this year and I just thought the best of the best deserved some recognition.  I tried to weed out the super popular fics, but some still show up because I love them that much.  Also, the ships are numerous and varied.

Running on Air–eleventy7; Drarry
Draco Malfoy has been missing for three years. Harry is assigned the cold case and finds himself slowly falling in love with the memories he collects.
*I would murder people to protect this fic.  It’s beautifully written, well-plotted, original, and it reuses certain sentences, making them more poignant the later in the story they’re used.  Like, fuck me up*

the ghost of you–kissmesexybatman; Klance
When Keith goes missing without a trace, all his family and friends are able to do is move on with their lives. When he shows back up after a year, they have to convince him they still want him back.
*I may be slightly biased because the coolest person in the world wrote this, but let me tell you, it’s emotionally heartwrenching, wonderfully written, and gives you a happy ending without sacrificing the needs of the characters*

My soul is an empty carousel at sunset.–dawnstruck; Otayuri
Yuri grows up and grows older and grows into himself. Otabek helps. It just takes a while to get there.
*I’m demi and this fic described exactly what that experience has been like for me, as it features a demi!Yuri.  Beyond that, it was sweet and genuine and I adored it*

Keep reading

Things to do when your having anxiety:

•think about someone/something that makes you happy

•listen to calming music

•doodle/draw if possible

•make up happy/nice scenarios in your head

•find something that maybe seats or slightly moves and focus on just that thing

•imagine yourself in a calm and relaxing place

•close your eyes and breathe deeply
•think about a nice memory you’ve had with someone you love

•talk to someone you trust if possible

•if your in class, ask to go into the hallway for a little to calm down

•if your in a situation where you can’t leave the room, block out the noise and focus on your breathe

•put your head down and close your eyes and try to relax and calm down

•hug someone you trust/love

•find 5 things you can touch, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can taste, 2 things you can smell, 1 thing

•think about one day seeing your favorite band/musician in concert

•remember to breathe and know that everything will be okay and I’m always here :)

If you make human company too important you will not discover your true Self. Relationships not based in truth are never entirely reliable and are rarely enduring. Taking time to discover yourself is the best use of time. Prioritise this. One should not excessively seek partners or friends, one should seek to know and be oneself. As you begin to awaken to the Truth, you start noticing how well life flows by itself and how well you are cared for. Life supports the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual needs of the one who is open to self-discovery. Trust opens your eyes to the recognition of this. Surrender allows you to merge in your own eternal being.
—  Mooji