anyway i now have 31 days to track down some red eyeliner, a fake beard, posterboard, old mail, red ribbons, a permanent marker, some business casual separates from a thrift store menswear section, and a rubber cigarette to complete my halloween costume

fluffy headcanon thoughts based on Holt’s advice:

“It should take 70 seconds for you to fully gauge someone’s character. Here’s what to look for. Grammar, posture, scent, attire, level of perspiration, type of shirt collar.”
”What’s the best type of shirt collar?”
”English spread, obviously. but let’s hold the questions until the end.”

- When they meet, Kevin matches criteria exactly. Grammar? Check. Posture? Check. Holt mentally refers to him as ‘excellent. obviously.’ 

(also? as myself, a female-assigned person who sometimes wears thrift-store menswear, I now know that types of collars have names. thanks, show.)

“There are two acceptable sleep positions. On back, toes up, arms crossed, or on back, toes up, arms at the side.”

- In reality, ‘arms at the side’ may involve holding hands, but saying so would violate several of Holt’s own rules about professionalism vs. privacy.

- Kevin sleeps on his side sometimes. Holt (mostly) forgives him.

“Never vacation in Banff.”

- I had to look up where this was (hi, Canada), and I feel like there is clearly a Bad Vacation Story here. (I’m not gonna take it on but you should if it inspires you.)

anonymous asked:

Have you ever seen, 'My First Mister'? If not, I highly recommend!

“Leelee Sobieski is brash, abrasive and vulnerable as a teenage child of divorce who hides her pain behind a mask of hard-edged gothic rebellion. Albert Brooks plays a man who is her total opposite, a precise and well-ordered menswear store owner of forty-nine who manages limited expectations and protects lonely secrets with pleasant ritual and quiet, ironic reserve.” fuckin sold!!!!!! I’m adding it to my list, thank you!! :) 

Story time

So I’m in the mall with some friends, right? I see this menswear store and remember I could use a couple more dress shirts. So I go in and I’m just browsing when I realize the two men in the store are speaking Arabic. I didn’t want to disturb their conversation so I continue looking around. Eventually there was a break in the conversation so I had to ask “Excuse me, where are y'all from?” They replied “Morocco”, and I know Morocco is a Muslim country so of course my next question was “are you Muslim?” They kind of tensed up for a moment before replying yes. I smiled and said “me too” and gave my salaams and man I wish y'all could’ve seen the transition of their faces. Huge smiles, laughing, and we had a good lil convo before I left out the store. There was one thing that stuck out to me though. After I told them I was Muslim, one of them was like “You scared me for a second brother” and I laughed it off. But with all this Trump shit and being in northern Louisiana, I now know what he meant by that. They were legitimately on guard because a stranger had asked if they were Muslim. In that one second it took them to answer, they probably had come to the conclusion that whatever situation or consequence could follow was not worth denying his faith. Masha'Allah that’s what I aspire to be like!

Chubby Harry

When Synergy opened in the upscale mall downtown, the trendsetter blogs called it “the only” menswear store of note. From sartorially savvy politicians to trendy club goers, the beautiful clothes at Synergy were highly sought after, exorbitantly expensive, and required uniform for the high echelons of the city’s social scene.  Marcus had always been an accomplished dresser, taking finds from his local vintage store and turning them into fitted garments that complimented his lithe frame.   He had an eye for fashion, a meticulously maintained body, and when he moved to the city, he immediately sought and landed a job at Synergy.

It was on his first day of training that he heard of the haunted dressing room. His supervisor Clark had escorted him through the second floor, where soft silk scarves and wool overcoats cut in masculine shapes hung.   Detailing how to best accessorize and dress a customer, as they approached the dressing rooms, a devious grin came over Clark’s handsome face. 

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