mens levis

InterdictedKai’s Guide To Writing Trans Men Having Sex

I wrote this up in response to another post but it really should have its own post here on my blog. The topic? Sex scenes involving trans guys, how to write them, and how not to write them.

There’s been a lot of trans male headcanons popping up in fandoms lately. And that’s awesome! As a trans guy myself, I love seeing trans headcanons by both cis and trans people! And there’s been a lot of fics & art involving trans dudes having sex popping up lately. And that’s awesome too! Hell yeah we can get down and do the do! Unfortunately… many of these headcanons, art pieces, & fics don’t portray trans guys, their bodies, and their sex lives accurately. And that’s… not so awesome. There’s some pretty icky stereotypes and commonalities going around. So I’m here to shed a little light on trans men and how we get down.

First, I’d like to start by saying this content is of a mature nature, please exercise reader discretion before deciding to read it and follow your local laws & restrictions regarding such content.

Second, I’d like to note that my ask box is always open to questions if anybody wants to fact-check their trans fic with an actual trans dude. I’m more than willing to help educate.

Now, on to the lesson!

InterdictedKai’s Guide To Writing Trans Men Having Sex:

  • SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Trans guys come in all sexual orientations.
    • If a trans man is having sex with a man, whether that man is cis or trans, that is gay sex. They’re both men. Having gay sex.
    • If a trans man is having sex with a woman, whether that woman is cis or trans, that is straight sex. It’s a man and a woman. That’s straight sex.
    • Trans guys can most often be found fucking: gay men, bi/pan men, straight women, & bi/pan women. In other words: People who are attracted to men.

  • TERMINOLOGY: My number one issue with people who aren’t trans guys (eg: cis, nb, etc) writing about trans guys having sex is the words they use. Topping the chart: CALL IT A DICK, NOT A CLIT. Seriously.
    • Up top: The most standard term for talking about a trans guy’s chest is ‘chest’. A lot of pre-op & no-op trans guys are really not okay with having the lumps on their chest called ‘breasts’. So if you’re writing about trans men getting some action on their torso, you’re better off talking about his chest and nipples than his breasts and nipples. 
    • The pole: It’s a dick. It might be a small dick but almost universally every trans guy I’ve met calls it a dick or cock and either dislikes or is actively squicked by it being called a clit. I’ve had so many conversations with other trans guys where we salt about seeing cis people writing trans guys in fic & calling it a clit. Sure, there are exceptions, trans guys who use the word clit, but there’s also gay men who use the f-slur to describe themselves. That’s a personal use. It’s not the standard. It’s not the common term. It’s not okay if you’re someone who isn’t a trans dude writing about a trans dude having sex. It doesn’t matter if you’re cis, nb, or any other identity, call it a dick. It’s a dick. Call it a dick. It doesn’t matter if they’re pre-T, on T, or if they’ve had some sort of genital surgery. It’s a dick any which way. He is a man. He has a penis.
    • The hole: There is no standard term for what a trans guy is probably gonna call the hole he’s got in front. I know guys using: Cunt, vagina, pussy, front hole, front door, boy hole, bonus hole, and so on. Personally, I like cunt, it’s gritty and abrasive and feels the most ‘masculine’ to me personally. That said, whatever term you use, try to be respectful in using it and understand that not all trans guys want sex to involve that body part.

  • TO REPEAT: DO NOT CALL A TRANS DUDE’S DICK A CLIT.

  • COMING OUT: Coming out as trans is usually scary. Coming out as trans can be dangerous.
    • Trans guys who pass, meaning they are perceived as men by people they meet, will at some point have to come out to romantic and/or sexual partner(s).
    • Usually these conversations will take place well before anything gets hot and heavy but sometimes things get a little carried out of hand and things need to pause so they can talk.
    • The last place most trans guys want to be when disclosing they’re trans is in the bedroom with someone’s hand down their pants as an “oh, by the way”. There have been many of cases of trans guys getting attacked in these situations if their partner freaks out over it. General rule? Don’t write your coming out scene as happening in the bedroom.

  • BODY BOUNDARIES: Trans people in general have a different relationship to their body from cis people by virtue of being trans. So since we’re focused on trans guys, let’s get into that.
    • Not all trans guys have sex the same way. Not all trans guys are okay with using some or all of the body parts they have during sex. We each have different body boundaries.
    • I know guys who won’t get shirtless, guys who won’t take off their binder, and guys who strip shirtless without worry. I know guys who don’t want their chest touched and guys who are really into receiving nipple play.
    • I know guys who love getting blowjobs and guys who don’t want a mouth down there.
    • I know guys who don’t want their cunt touched, guys who are okay with only fingers in there, and guys who are all about taking things in the front door.
    • I know guys who don’t want any penetrative sex, guys who don’t care where you put it, guys who only want it in the front, guys who don’t want anything in their ass, and guys who are fine as long as it’s only going in their ass.
    • I know guys who exclusively top, never bottom, and have gorgeous collections of strap-ons to fuck their partner(s). Yes, that’s right, trans men can top!
    • These are just some examples and there’s no standard. Every trans man will have different body boundaries that they need to discuss with their partner(s).

  • BODY CHANGES: The body changes a lot on testosterone. So let’s get into some of those changes.
    • CHEST: Chest fat does lessen on testosterone, but not usually by much. That said, they do become a lot more limp due to binding over the years. Binding makes breast tissue basically wilt, break down, and go floppy. If a trans guy binds, his chest fat will become more limp over time. Easier to compress flatter, but also deteriorates skin quality for future surgery.
    • BODY HAIR: Holy hairy nipples, batman! Trans guys often get chest hair, just like cis guys. I’ve never once seen a fic talk about a trans guy’s chest hair. Trans guys also get happy trails, facial hair, thicker hair on our legs and arms, etc, and generally develop average male body & facial hair patterns. 
    • DICK: This is one of the most noticeable changes on T, and also the fastest. Most guys begin to notice their dick starting to grow within a few weeks of starting T. Most grow to around 1″-2″ when erect. There are many cases of guys getting as much as 3″ but these should be considered outliers and not average. It’s the trans dude equivalent of a cis dude with a 10″ dick: possible but uncommon. Wait, erect? Yep! It gets erect. You can definitely see when a trans guy has a boner if you’re looking at his dick! You can also notice that it has a foreskin just like an uncut penis! The labia may also become more coarse and similar in texture to a cis guy’s balls.
    • FLUIDS: Not all trans guys get dry downstairs on T. Some do. But I know a lot of guys who’ve gotten a lot more wet since starting T. It happens a lot. It’s a 50/50 shot, really. Bodies are weird. There are some sloppy, messy, slick trans guys and some trans guys who have to use lube daily so they don’t chafe or even use an estrogen cream down there.
    • SMELL: On Testosterone, the smell of a trans guy’s junk changes. You get Man Musk within the first 6 months. Anyone who’s been near a cis guy’s dick knows what I mean by that: that really sharp, earthy dick smell.
    • TASTE: After about 6-8 months on testosterone, a trans guy’s fluids down there stop tasting like going down on a cis girl and they start tasting a hell of a lot more like a cis dude’s precum. It’s a hormone thing. So giving a trans dude who’s been on T for a while a blowjob is gonna smell & taste a lot more like blowing a guy with a really leaky dick than going down on a girl. Cause that’s exactly what’s going on. 
    • ORGASMS: Orgasms also change on testosterone. Guys who could previously get multiple orgasms pre-T often can’t once they start testosterone. But they do usually report them being stronger and more intense

  • HAVING SEX: Trans men definitely don’t have sex like cis women. Because they’re not cis women. They’re men. They’re just men with a slightly different tool set in their tool belt.
    • Like I said under Body Boundaries, we use our bodies to have sex in many varied ways. Blowjobs, handjobs, rimming, vaginal fingering, anal fingering, vaginal sex, anal sex, I could go on for ages.
    • If a trans guy is taking a cis dude’s dick in his cunt, it’s still gay sex, not straight sex, and needs to be treated as such.

  • SAFER SEX & PREGNANCY:
    • Trans guys can get STDs like any other guy and should use condoms accordingly. Trans guys having risky or unprotected sex with cis men may be prescribed PrEP, an HIV-prevention medication designed to lower the risk of contracting HIV. 
    • Speaking of STDs, people can get gonorrhoea & chlamydia in their ass or throat via anal & oral sex. This will not show on a standard pee test. There are special swabs for the ass and throat. Most doctors do not routinely perform these tests. They really should. But, back to the point.
    • Some people think trans men can’t get pregnant. This is a myth. Some men think trans men can’t be on birth control. This is a myth. These myths are dangerous.
    • Trans men who are having sex with cis men can get pregnant unless they’ve had a hysterectomy. The risk of pregnancy is decreased but not eliminated by T.
    • Trans men on T cannot get estrogen-based birth control but they can be on progesterone-only birth control. Most large trans-affirming health clinics will recommend this for trans men who have sex with cis men. Generally, this comes in two forms: a daily pill known as the ‘minipill’ or a 12-week injection known as the ‘depo shot’.

  • MEDICAL PROCEDURES: There are many routes trans guys can take in terms of medically transitioning.
    • For most trans people, the first step is hormone replacement therapy (HRT). For trans guys, this involves Testosterone therapy. Testosterone is usually administered via injection every 1, 2, or 12 weeks, depending on which kind, or via a daily cream/gel. 1 & 2 week shots are self-administered while 12-week shots are done by a professional. Trans guys who come out as kids or young teens may be prescribed hormone blockers to prevent or halt puberty until they can start T when they’re 15-18 (age varies with local laws & doctor’s discretion).
    • Another step for trans guys is usually top surgery. Guys with tiny chests (small B or less) can get periareolar (’peri’) or keyhole surgery. This leaves only a tiny scar around the nipple. Guys with larger chests usually get a double incision (’DI’) surgery which involves larger scars along the bottom of the pecs and nipple grafts or, less commonly, an Inverted-T or T-anchor surgery which involves the same scars under the pecs but an additional vertical scar from there to the nipple while eliminating the need for nipple grafts.
    • Trans guys usually get a total hysterectomy, removing the uterus, ovaries, cervix, and all the bits in between. A trans guy who has his ovaries removed must be on some form of hormone therapy (eg: testosterone) or else risks bone loss & osteoporosis.
    • Some trans guys may opt for genital surgery. These procedures and the reasons why some trans guys might or might not want one surgery or another is a whole complicated topic in itself. But if you’re curious, look into metoidioplasty (’meta/meto’) or phalloplasty (’phallo’). Tread carefully.

So, I’ll wrap this up with my most important point, again: If you are anything other than a trans guy (eg: if you are cis, nb, etc), DO NOT CALL A TRANS DUDE’S DICK A CLIT. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS SMUTTY, CALL IT A DICK.

And, as I said, anyone can feel free to message me if they have questions about writing trans guys having sex.

Tl;dr: Just be respectful and know your subject matter.

9

Just in case No Regrets wasn’t tragic enough, this is what Levi was thinking about on the roof before they arrived. Isabel getting assaulted and Levi going off on his own to kill the men who did it. Levi takes it upon himself to look after his friends and protect them. They’re his family, and he feels responsible for them, not only out of obligation since they help each other survive, but because he loves them. He knows they’re skilled and adults but still he worries. Protecting them is HIS job HIS role because he’s the only one strong enough. This is highlighted when Levi goes off without Farlan and Isabel to kill the people that hurt Isabel.

So when Faraln say’s “Believe in us.” Farlan is telling Levi he doesn’t have to do everything himself.  Levi doesn’t have to constantly be protecting them. They can protect each other and be equals. The dynamic can change because they can be strong too. Strong like Levi.

In this moment, Levi is letting go of his parental protective roll of Farlan and Isabel. He’ll stop viewing himself as the one who can get the job done and them as the ones who need protecting. He’s saying this time he’ll let them come and trust them to hold their own against the dangers that they’ll now face together. 

AND THEN THEY DIED THE NEXT DAY.

tea time for anon. prompt: distraction

(because 1. hell yeah it does; 2. i want to write porn; 3. i’m so fucking excited for season 2. gifs by immanime. also this is the first tea time i accidentally capitalized. i guess i’m just woke now, fam.

also, i’ll dedicate this to you too @autiacora. it’s totally canon. they just had to cut this part out because of “time restraints” or something.) 

There’s tension in the air that makes Levi restless. His knee still grants him a reminder of unanswered questions, of squad mates he couldn’t assist, of brash words that could have stayed off his tongue. There’s unrest, words of Wall Rose falling, and there’s only one person he wants to listen to now, only one person that can quell the uncomfortable and unfamiliar feeling of anguished fear that seems to have replaced the flesh upon his bones.

Levi turns the doorknob to Erwin’s office and enters. The young leader from the southern post is in the room and is mid sentence as Levi enters. He’s talking about the breach, but as a good soldier, he’s remarkably calm about it. Levi wonders how long he has been in the corps. Only men several year veterans have that kind of control.

Then again, recent events have a tendency to change people.

Levi tuts. “Those damn titans never give us a break.” He says, breaking the man’s sentence as Erwin looks on him. The conversation is on them now.

“Can you go?” Erwin asks. His eyes linger on Levi’s left knee. Levi hears the minute difference in his tone–recognizes the concern.

“Not like there’s much choice.”

“It was wise to have Squad Leader Mike watch the 104th.” The soldier interrupts. “I believe he can handle the situation.” He’s smiling, like he’s honored to even have Mike’s name leave his lips in the same room as the two most powerful people in the legion. 

Erwin turns his attention back out the window. “Yes. Let’s hope so.”

The soldier looks over at Levi. “Anything else?” Levi says to him.

“No, sir.”

“You can leave, then.” The man nods and Levi doesn’t watch him, waits for the sound of the door clicking shut before he lets his limp show through his gait as he walks over to Erwin’s desk. He places a hand on the surface, lets the weight off his bad leg and looks at Erwin’s back. “It’s all shit.”

“Yes.”

“What are we going to do?”

“I trust Mike will take care of the situation.” Erwin’s shoulders relax just a bit, enough to begin the untangling of nerves within Levi’s own muscles. “It will depend on how Annie’s accomplices move going forward as they defend the area.” He shifts his foot and turns slightly to face Levi. “I will have you out traveling south with Hange to try to extract information from Pastor Nick.”

Levi crosses his arms, meets Erwin’s gaze. “And where will you be?”

“Here.” Erwin turns fully now, places a knuckle on his desktop and offers a silent apology. “I will need to rally more troops while smoothing out diplomatic matters.”

“I should be here.” Levi says. “They don’t trust you.”

Erwin nods, a small smile hinting his lips. “No, they do not.” Erwin motions his hand for Levi to come closer. The man does so, stands in front of him and looks up into his eyes. “However, I cannot have you injured any further.”

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