Richard Honeck served the longest prison sentence ever to end in a prisoner’s release. Jailed in November 1899 for the killing of a former school friend, Honeck was paroled from Menard Correctional Center in Chester, Illinois on 20 December 1963, having served 64 years and one month of his life sentence.
In his time in jail, Honeck received just one letter and had two visitors.
Little update on McCree, he’s doing great. First day I got him on the left, and him tonight on the right. His Ich is gone, and no signs of fin rot. He did manage to split his tail, though. I assume he did it from all the fast swimming around he’s been doing. There was nothing in his tank but a heater. No filter, and no decorations while he was in quarantine for his Ich. He’s so healthy, and such a little fighter.
I just re-scaped his tank, and changed his setup. I put some of my new plants I bought in there. I am trying pool filter sand for the first time. $8.99 for 50lbs at Menards, go to the building section, it’s not in the pool area. (yet?)
The pool filter sand did not make the water dusty at all. It’s great.
“Come on, then!” Jimin tugs at Jungkook’s sweater sleeve, amusement lighting his eyes. They’re in front of the basement door, staring down at the dark abyss. Ever since Jungkook said he didn’t want to go fetch a movie from the downstairs shelf, Jimin’s been laughing and tugging at his arm. Does he think this is funny!?
“No!” Smacking Jimin’s hand away, Jungkook stares at his chubby hand. One of his fingernails is painted green, something Jimin did when they both were bored. Jimin even used his mother’s pink lipstick! Good thing his parents are at Menards getting “a few supplies for the garden.”
“There’s nothing downstairs, Gukkie. Here.” Holding out his hand, Jimin waits until Jungkook tentatively laces their fingers together. It’s always nice when they’re holding hands! Jungkook feels so warm and safe, like a cookie baking in the oven. “I’ll be here with you.”
“What if I get attacked?” Jungkook pouts, using his free hand to latch onto Jimin’s arm. Yesterday he watched a show about an alligator eating a human. What if there are alligators in the basement and they want a delicious Jungkook n’ Jimin snack? “And I get eaten ‘cause I’m only six? What if I die!?”
“You won’t die. I’ll protect you forever.” Flicking his tail, Jimin clicks on the basement light. “I’ll always be with you, and love you, ‘cause you’re my cherry cookie.”
“No, I’m a cherry brownie.”
“You’re a cherry cookie brownie.” Squeezing his hand, Jimin tugs him just a little closer. “I wanna kiss you.”
They kiss and kiss, leaving the dangers of the basement door to the cushy sofa. They kiss until Jungkook’s mouth hurts, until they’re just laying together, enjoying each other’s existence. They’re gonna get married soon, Jungkook can already tell.
They’re gonna be close forever!
When they hear the sound of the garage, Jimin leaps from the couch and dashes to the door. They can’t be seen kissing because it’s naughty, but Jungkook doesn’t care! Best friends kiss a lot.
And when their parents ask what they were doing this whole time, well, they’ll say they were eating cherry cookie brownies. Then their parents will smile, pat their heads, and everything will be just fine!
If you’re not from the midwestern United States, Menards is a chain of home improvement stores, similar to Lowe’s or Home Depot or your neighbor’s unlocked garage when they’re out of town. During the 2012 Iowa caucuses, Menards encouraged their employees to take an online civics course to improve their understanding of the government. Who can get mad at that?
It turns out, a reporter at The Investigative Fund discovered that the “civics” materials Menards encouraged employees to peruse for implicit promotions actually had a lot in common with literature from a for-profit, ultra-Republican company called Prosperity 101.
Here’s how the Menards civics course worked: If you were a run-of-the-mill employee, you were encouraged to take a no-big-deal civics class for your own edification on your own time. The course itself concluded with an online pass-or-fail,multiple-choice test, which you’d want to take if you wanted to advance within this company. The only problem was that the materials included scientific pie charts explaining how the government was the worst and Obama hated America.
For anyone who doesn’t have three seconds to read the graphic, the pie chart says that under President Obama’s administration, your tax dollars are given to “supporters” and postage stamps, ha ha. Also included in the graphic are separate categories for corruption, sleaze, and two different plumbing metaphors – “tossed down the drain” and “flushed down a toilet.” It should be noted that in addition to sending your federal taxes into a drain or toilet, you can also “piss them away,” on the ground, we guess? If you aren’t peeing in a toilet or a drain, you’re living in a country without plumbing, so peeing away your taxes into a separate container feels like a weird metaphor but whatever – they’re making jokes.